Below are two case studies comparing and contrasting the difference between Divorce Mediation and a contentious Contested Divorce. Cathy and Carl opted to keep their divorce civil and utilized Divorce Mediation to achieve and Uncontested Divorce. Their friends, Dana and David, went another route with a Contested Divorce settled in court.

Cathy & Carl’s Divorce Mediation

Cathy and Carl have been married for fifteen years and have three children together. Over the past few years, they have been having marital difficulties and have decided that they would be happier apart. They both work full-time and each have their own automobiles and retirement funds. The two do not have intense feelings of animosity toward each other; they just no longer make each other happy.

Cathy and Carl have been doing some research on different types of divorce, including Uncontested Divorces, Contested Divorces, Collaborative Divorces, and Divorce Mediation, and have reached the conclusion that Divorce Mediation may be best for themselves and their children.

Cathy and Carl find a Divorce Mediator they both agree on and begin their mediation sessions. Their mediator guides the pair through the numerous points of their divorce. They discuss maintenance, child support, child custody and visitation, health insurance and equitable distribution including retirement accounts, the marital residence, the parties’ cars and other personal property. There were certainly a few bumps in the road and challenges along the way, but, with the help of their mediator, Cathy and Carl were able to effectively communicate and compromise throughout the entire process.

After a few productive mediation sessions, Cathy and Carl’s mediator begins drafting a Stipulation of Settlement. The three exchange a few emails and phone calls with edits and revisions. Ultimately, Cathy and Carl finalize the Stipulation and give the mediator the authorization to file the Stipulation with the Court. The divorce mediator’s office then drafts and submits the Uncontested Divorce Submission Packet that must be filed with the court before a final Judgment of Divorce will be entered. After all the requisite paperwork is filed, Cathy and Carl obtain their final Judgment of Divorce.

Their post-divorce relationship is one that is amicable and cooperative. The two are able to calmly and respectfully communicate about the normal parenting issues in front of their children. They are able to work together and be flexible while raising their children. Their post-divorce relationship is a stark contrast to that of friends Dana and David who went through a highly Contested Divorce.

Dana & David’s Contested Divorce

Carl and Cathy’s friends, Dana and David, were just like them in how long they were married, the number and ages of their children and even their income. However, unlike Carl and Cathy, they couldn’t agree on anything and were unwilling to negotiate with the other. They wound up in a highly Contested Divorce.

Throughout the process of their Contested Divorce, Dana and David were “at each other’s throats.” They argued over most of the issues involved in getting a divorce. They couldn’t agree on how to divide their marital assets, who would have Child Custody, Child Support, Visitation, Spousal Support (alimony), and even health insurance.

Dana and David had to take their case to trial. This cost them tens of thousands of dollars and nearly two years of bickering between themselves and their lawyers. When their divorce was finalized, they believed they would be finally finished with each other, however, because they have children together, they will be in each other’s lives the rest of their lives.

Their contentious, and sometimes downright ugly, Contested Divorce cost them the ability to co-parent and communicate effectively when it comes to their children. This discord and animosity was, of course, not lost on the children, who ultimately bear the burden of their parents’ inability to co-parent.

While Child Support and Visitation may be over in several years, they will still be in their children’s lives, and that means they will be in each other’s lives. There will be graduations, weddings, grandchildren, etc. Dana and David are in for a lot of “uncomfortable” family events if they can’t learn to be in the same room together and communicate in a civil way.

Who Would You Rather Be: Cathy & Carl or Dana & David?

When you compare Cathy and Carl to the couple in the throes of a Contested Divorce, it is clear which situation is desirable. Deciding to divorce through mediation has many short-term, as well as long-term, benefits. Some of these benefits include less stress, less financial burdens, a quicker divorce and a better relationship with your spouse in your post-divorce life.

Want to Be Like Cathy & Carl? Call Us for a Free Consultation Today

Do you want to learn if you can get divorced quickly, inexpensively and with less stress than  a Contested Divorce? Contact the experienced Long Island Divorce and Family Law attorneys at Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. for your free consultation at 631-923-1910 today.