When considering a divorce, it’s important to understand how your own personal “attachment style” can impact your relationships with everyone involved in the process, including your  spouse and your lawyer. Attachment styles are formed in early childhood and influence your relationships throughout your entire life. In a Long Island, NY divorce, your attachment style affects the way you interact with your spouse, communicate with your lawyer, and approach conflict resolution.

According to psychologists, most people have one of three different attachment styles — Anxious, Secure, or Avoidant. People with a secure attachment style tend to be more trusting and intimate in their relationships. Those with an anxious attachment style often feel insecure and clingy, while those with an avoidant attachment style may have difficulty forming close attachments.

How your attachment style manifests itself during a divorce can vary depending on the specific situation. However, understanding your own attachment style can help you be prepared for and adjust to the unique challenges that may arise during the divorce process.

The 3 Different Attachment Styles

#1. Secure Attachment

The secure attachment style is characterized by a sense of trust and security in relationships. Individuals with a secure attachment style tend to feel comfortable with intimacy and are able to express their emotions openly. They typically have positive views of themselves and their partners, and they are usually able to weather the ups and downs of relationships.

#2. Anxious Attachment Style

Anxious attachment is characterized by a fear of abandonment or rejection. Individuals with this attachment style may feel insecure in their relationships and may have difficulty trusting their partners. They may also experience anxiety about being separated from their loved ones, and they may be clingy or needy in relationships.

#3. Avoidant Attachment Style

Avoidant attachment is characterized by the avoidance of intimacy and close relationships. Individuals with an avoidant attachment style often view themselves as independent and self-sufficient, and they may have difficulty trusting or getting close to others. They may also keep their emotions bottled up, which can make it difficult for them to connect with others on a deeper level.

How Your Attachment Style Can Impact Your Long Island Divorce

Because individuals with secure attachment styles are more likely to feel confident and secure in themselves, this can be very positive during a difficult divorce process. While these people may still experience some sadness and anxiety during their divorce, they are more likely to handle it in a healthy way. They are also more likely to communicate openly with their ex-partner and work together to reach a fair agreement.

Those with an anxious attachment style, may find the divorce process especially challenging. They tend to be more clingy and dependent in your relationships, which can make it hard to let go. They may also struggle with trust issues, which can make it difficult to communicate with their ex-partner during the divorce process. Changes to child custody arrangements or financial instability that are brought on by a divorce may be particularly difficult for them.

People with avoidant attachment styles tend to be more independent and self-reliant in relationships. They are more likely to have difficulty trusting others and may find it hard to open up emotionally. This can make the divorce process harder for them, since they may not want to rely on anyone for support. They may also find it difficult to communicate with their ex-partner about important decisions like child custody or financial arrangements.

Regardless of which attachment style you have, understanding its strengths and weaknesses and how it impacts your relationships can help you get through your divorce with less mess, less time, and less money. For example, if you know you have an anxious attachment style, you can put extra support measures in place before you announce your interest in separating. Or, people with avoidant attachment styles can make notes to check in with important people like their divorce attorney.

Should You Call a Long Island, NY Divorce Lawyer?

If you’re going through a divorce on Long Island, NY, it’s important to understand how your attachment style can impact the process. If you have any questions or need help navigating the issue of divorce, Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. can help. We have extensive experience representing clients in divorce and other family legal cases and have the skills and expertise necessary to offer you comprehensive legal advocacy that you can rely on.

Reach out to us today to schedule a consultation to learn more or to get started by dialing 631-923-1910 or fill out the short form on this page. Our team of legal professionals are available now to take your call.