Getting a divorce is emotionally tumultuous, regardless of how necessary it is for the well-being of yourself and your family. It’s not difficult for a divorce to become contentious when you and your ex-spouse disagree on the most important matters related to the dissolution of your marriage, including child custody and visitation, property division or spousal support or alimony.

A contentious contested divorce is stressful and costly for everyone involved. Not only is divorce litigation expensive, it’s also time-consuming and emotionally draining. If you have children, litigating your divorce can have an even greater negative impact on them. In an ideal world you will find ways to dissolve your marriage as quickly and smoothly as possible with the least amount of fallout on everyone involved.

Here are some ways you can uncomplicate your contested divorce and how to get legal help when it looks like divorce is your next best option.

Make Concessions in Your Divorce Negotiations Where Possible

One of the most important things you can do to help keep your divorce from “getting ugly” is to be flexible where you can. It’s important to make appropriate concessions or be willing to negotiate and compromise if it’s possible. In your divorce, it is truly a time to pick your battles. We are not suggesting that you give in to everything your spouse wants, but to negotiate for what you really want rather than try to get everything and leave them with nothing. That only complicates and drags out your divorce. In the end, no one will get everything they want and dragging it out will only increase your stress levels and legal fees.

There may be some things you simply cannot or will not budge on, such as wanting primary custody of your children. However, if there are things that don’t matter as much, you can avoid contention if you are willing to negotiate on those issues. Make a list of things in your divorce that matter most to you and try to list them in order of priority or importance. Issues that are further down on the list should matter less to you and be ones you are able to find middle ground with your ex on.

Communicate with Your Spouse Only In Writing

If you’re involved in a contested divorce, you’re most likely dealing with arguments and disagreements with your ex-spouse at nearly every turn. You can eliminate opportunities for emotional disputes by communicating with your ex-spouse only in writing. Text or email your ex about important matters, but don’t agree to a verbal phone call if you can avoid it.

Being forced to put everything in writing discourages your ex from being rude or abusive, and makes it easier for you to provide evidence that your ex-spouse did or said something out of line.

Consider Third-Party Mediation for Your Divorce

If you and your ex-spouse are on speaking terms and can communicate relatively well with each other, but simply don’t agree on important matters relating to the divorce, Long Island divorce mediation may be a viable option. During mediation, you and your ex-spouse will meet with a neutral third party to discuss matters related to your divorce. The mediator will facilitate communication between you and your ex and may come up with potential compromises or resolutions to divorce issues you’re facing.

If you and your ex-spouse are able to reach agreements on all matters during mediation, your mediator and attorneys can draw up your divorce degree and submit it to the courts on your behalf. This means divorce litigation is unnecessary, driving down both the cost, time and overall stress of your divorce.

If You Have Children, Use a Child Custody App

A significant contributor to how difficult a divorce can be is whether or not you have children together and if you agree or disagree on child custody and visitation. Using a child custody app is a great way to keep track of which parent has the children when and keeps all visitation times, notes, and communication stored in a neutral place. Often, child custody apps will upload data straight to court databases, so this information cannot be deleted, altered, or otherwise changed in any way.

Reach Out for Help from Experienced Long Island Divorce Lawyers Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.

When facing a Long Island divorce, your future is on the line. If you have children, theirs is too. It’s critical that you have someone in your corner fighting for your rights and best interests under New York family law. At Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C., we can provide you with the zealous, compassionate legal representation you need during this difficult time.

Contact us today to learn more about your divorce options or to schedule your initial consultation to discuss your case by calling 931-623-1910 or fill in the short form on this page.

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