If you have children with someone who you later decide you don’t want to spend the rest of your life with, custody and visitation quickly become a critical issues. How you handle child custody and visitation matters with your ex not only impacts you, but it also has a significant influence on the wellbeing of your children. Here are 10 tips to improve visitation with your children on Long Island, NY and how an experienced divorce lawyer can assist you with legal matters related to your kids.
You should always be polite and cordial to your ex, especially in front of your kids. This is important regardless of how young or old your children are. If you and your ex disagree on something, consider communicating with each other out of earshot of the children or through email or text to avoid potential arguments that take place around your children.
Children thrive in routines and the process of divorce is a complete disruption, even for older children in middle or high school. When your children are having visitation with you, incorporate routines into that time so your kids can know what to expect every time.
You should create a space within your home for each child that comes to stay with you, whether or not they have overnights with you. Keep your children’s clothes, toys, and personal items in an area that is clean and has enough space for each child to sleep and play.
Make a point to establish an agreement with your spouse about how each of you will discipline your children. Don’t wait until your child has done something out of line to try to hash out the most appropriate way to reprimand them.
Don’t act like visitation is difficult or a burden for you, especially when your children are actually in the process of visiting you. Instead, make it a fun and normal part of your and your kids lives.
If you have multiple children and only so much time for visitation, you may think it’s better to include both children in every activity. But it’s important that you still spend one-on-one time with each child. Even if this time is short, give your child an opportunity to connect with you individually without siblings present.
If possible, be flexible with your visitation schedule. This requires a good relationship with your ex though, so it’s not advisable in every situation. However, if you and your ex are on good enough terms, try to accommodate schedule changes and things that come up at the last minute when you can.
Allow your ex to take the children to visit their grandparents and other family members during their visitation time. In turn, be sure to facilitate relationships between your children and people on your side of the family. These extended relationships help children to feel more anchored and cared for, even in the midst of a divorce.
Your children should have the opportunity to make friends in your neighborhood who they can see when they visit you. It can be tempting to limit your child’s time with friends during your limited visitation time, but this can foster resentment in your children and make them feel hostile toward you.
Make sure you maintain open lines of communication with your ex so you can talk about important matters related to your children. Effective co-parenting requires you and your ex to both be on the same page about raising your kids.
If you’re considering getting a divorce or you have children with a partner from whom you’ve split, it’s important that you understand how to make visitation with your children as successful as possible. Long Island divorce attorneys Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. can help. Call today for a consultation appointment by dialing 631-923-1910 or fill out the short form on this page.
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