Divorce is hard on both men and women, however, men tend to face some unique problems that they’re often not prepared for following the dissolution of their marriage. Here are 6 issues that men face when getting a Long Island divorce and how to avoid them.
Unfortunately, men aren’t usually taught how to grieve or process difficult emotions. During a divorce, they may try to sidestep these feelings and the grieving process entirely.
Understand that the end of your marriage is a difficult thing to go through, even if you initiated it and it’s the best decision for your family. Take the time you need to grieve the end of this part of your life. Honor that you had ideas and hopes for married life that won’t be fulfilled, even when it’s uncomfortable.
A sign of denying the grieving process is moving on to a new relationship too quickly and dating during the divorce. Often, men will seek comfort in a new relationship, whether it’s a casual relationship or immediately jumping into something serious.
Don’t give in to the temptation to numb the pain during the grieving process by jumping into a new relationship, even one that is meant to be solely physical. You deserve to reflect on what went wrong and what you can do differently so when you do enter a new relationship, you’re more stable and prepared.
It’s not uncommon for both parties in a divorce to lose their individual sense of identity when they’ve been a married couple for so long. Men may suffer more from this as their identity as a husband, father, and the provider of a household changes in the midst of a divorce.
Don’t be afraid to be alone for a period of time after your Long Island divorce. Use this opportunity to get to know yourself again, your likes and dislikes, and your strengths and weaknesses. Decide what you want for your life without the influence of other people’s ideas or opinions. Learn to practice good self care frequently and consistently.
Men are sometimes neglectful of their physical health and being married helps them stay on track with healthy meals and exercise by doing so with their spouse. Newly divorced men, especially if married for a significant length of time, may struggle to motivate themselves to live a healthy lifestyle.
After your divorce, do your best to make health and wellness a priority. Incorporate physical exercise and fresh foods into your daily routine as recommended by your doctor. Learn to cook simple, nutritious meals for one that don’t take too much time if you don’t already have good culinary skills, and make sure to get outside often for sunshine and fresh air.
Although New York courts have determined that it’s in the best interests of a child to maintain an equal relationship with both of their parents, mothers still tend to get preferential treatment when it comes to child custody rights. Fathers may face drastic, unexpected changes in how much time they have with their children as they go through the divorce process.
Often, men who are fathers face the difficulty of being awarded too little child custody or visitation with their children in their divorce. Not being connected to y children can make fathers feel lost, lonely, and purposeless. It’s important to fight for your right to equal legal and physical custody of your children with the help of an experienced divorce lawyer.
Men are often the higher wage earners in a marriage, and as such, are typically required to pay alimony and/or child support. Unfortunately, this can put an undue financial burden on men who are also learning to live independently outside of their marriage.
Be upfront about your earnings, particularly if you’re demoted or lose your job and start earning less money. The court must calculate your alimony and child support based on your income and cannot take more than a certain percentage.
You should contact a seasoned Long Island divorce lawyer as soon as you begin considering the option of divorce or when your spouse serves you with divorce papers. Call Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. today for your consultation at 631-923-1910.
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