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How to Live at Home During a Long Island Divorce

by | Oct 26, 2021 | Father's Rights, NY

Moving out of the marital home during your Long Island divorce can potentially create more problems than it solves. New York family courts are more likely to award the marital home to whoever has been living in it; if you haven’t, you stand a greater chance of losing your home or your stake in its value. If you have children, moving out essentially grants you’re spouse the primary caregiver role for your children. This can have significant repercussions when deciding on child custody and visitation issues. See this article for a more comprehensive discussion of the many reasons you shouldn’t move out before your divorce is final.

Here are some practical tips for living at home during your divorce and how to get help from a seasoned lawyer.

Create a Separate Space for Yourself and Your Spouse

Ideally, you will be able to carve out a separate space in the home for yourself away from your spouse. Even if this space is small, being able to have somewhere to go that you know your spouse won’t interrupt can make living at home bearable during the divorce process.

First and foremost, you’ll want to create a separate sleeping space since you likely won’t be sleeping in the same bed as your spouse anymore. You may need to sleep on the sofa or purchase an air mattress or cot that can be put away during the day.

You’ll also likely want to divide food preparation areas since you may not want to eat together as a family. Set up a separate space in the refrigerator, freezer, and cabinets to hold cold, frozen, and dry goods that are your own.

Communicate with Notes and Text Messages

If you’re staying in the marital home, you’ll likely have to have at least some basic level of communication with your spouse. If you two aren’t on great terms, this can lead to arguments and fights, one of the primary reasons one spouse decides to leave the marital home prematurely. If you stick to talking with your spouse via written notes around the house, text messages, and other forms of written communication, you can talk through disagreements instead of going straight to yelling or fighting.

Try to Get on Opposite Schedules

Consider discussing with your spouse the benefit of getting on opposite schedules while living at home together and getting a divorce.

For example, you or your spouse may have the ability to get on the night shift at work or if you work from home, you may be able to schedule your office time opposite your spouse’s. If you’re essentially just two passing ships in the night, there will be less opportunity to get in each other’s way and reduces the likelihood of nasty arguments.

Make Your Children a Priority

If you and your spouse have children together, you may be able to reach common ground by looking at your divorce through the lens of what is best for them. Child custody and support issues can be particularly challenging to navigate and can quickly cause an amicable divorce to become contested or emotionally heated.

Like the marital home, primary custody is often awarded to the parent who has spent the most time with the children during the divorce. This is because New York courts consider that parent to have already demonstrated their ability to provide consistency and care to the children.

Spend Weekends Away

If you are primarily living in the marital home, you can spend weekends or another part of the week staying somewhere else. As long as you are spending more time at home than not at home each week, there shouldn’t be any issue with taking some time away.

If you have the ability to stay at a friend’s house, this would be an ideal way to take a break from spending the nights at home with your spouse. If you are paying nightly for a hotel or other accommodations, you run the risk of the courts believing you have the funds to continue supporting both households.

Reach Out to a Long Island Divorce Attorney Now

Don’t hesitate to contact a Long Island divorce lawyer to help you navigate the process of dissolving your marriage in New York. Your best chance of getting a favorable divorce settlement is to work with an experienced attorney with extensive experience in family legal issues. Call Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. today at 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form on this page for more information or to schedule your free initial consultation.

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