From my observations as a Long Island Divorce Mediator, I see that the main cause of divorce is trouble communicating. You might be aware that approximately half of marriages end in divorce, but what you may not know is that approximately 67 percent of second marriages end in divorce. Though one may believe that someone entering into a second marriage is older, wiser, and more committed than they were in their first marriage, these are not the only factors that affect the success of the marriage.
Instead, those entering into a second marriage have additional stresses built in that they must deal with. These may include financial problems resulting from their divorce, emotional “baggage” that came about from being deceived or hurt in their first marriage, as well as the stress of having their children adapt to a parent’s new relationship and the added component of blended families.
Remarriage Challenges for Blended Families
Second marriages can require more effort and adjustment for those involved compared to a first marriage. For example, spouses in second marriages often have to deal with the issues that come with a blended family, including whether the children can adjust, whether the children from prior marriages will get along with each other, working out conflicts in parenting styles, and the need to interact with each other’s former spouses when it comes to caring for the children.
Addressing Financial Concerns
Those entering a second marriage may be starting off with a host of issues that can make things more difficult. They may need a larger home to accommodate more children and family members. They may be paying child support for children from a previous marriage or spousal support to their ex. They also may be fulfilling other financial obligations that remain from the previous divorce.
Emotional Adjustments
Spouses in second marriages have the added challenge of working through the emotional impact of their prior divorces. For some, this task is more difficult than for others. However, in any case, the stress and devastation of a divorce is a significant emotional hurdle that is not easily brushed off. Lingering anxiety, trust issues and anger can become an impediment in the new relationship, particularly if the second marriage was rushed into before the spouse had a chance to thoroughly process the impact of the divorce. It is important for both spouses to work hard to get through their own hurdles and support one another through what will can likely become an ongoing process throughout the second marriage. If each can be honest and understanding with one another, and have realistic expectations about the marriage, the transition into this new life can be even more promising.
Consider Prenuptial Agreements Before Remarrying
As I mentioned above, having honest discussions about concerns and expectations is critical for a successful marriage. For this very reason, I recommend that couples entering into second marriage strongly consider entering into a prenuptial agreement. These agreements can cover issues from the simple to the very complex, including how assets will be divided in the event of divorce, who will pay spousal support and how much, and how inheritances should be determined. Especially when children from a prior marriage are involved, it is important to spell these provisions out beforehand to avoid the need to sift through each entanglement if a divorce occurs.
Prenuptial agreements are a good way to uncover potential issues and address them before there is conflict. Consider your long term concerns and goals rather than the short term picture of newly wedded bliss. This can be a lifesaver for yourself and your children in the event that things do not go the way you hope and plan in your second marriage.
An Experienced Divorce Attorney Can Help You to Avoid Pitfalls in a Second Marriage
There are common pitfalls in marriage and divorce, but many can be avoided with good advice and careful planning. The Divorce Law Firm of Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. has helped many Nassau County and Suffolk County couples negotiate and create essential prenuptial agreements to protect their and their children’s interests. Our Family Law office is experienced in all aspects of Long Island Divorce and Family Law, and would be pleased to answer your questions. We offer free consultations in our conveniently located Melville, New York office. Contact us today at 631-923-1910 to schedule your complimentary consultation.
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Our 41-page “Guide to New York Divorce: What You Need to Know Before Hiring a Divorce Lawyer in New York” written by an experienced family law lawyer, Long Island’s Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., provides you with real information on the divorce process and the laws it rests upon in the state of New York. This book will help give you a solid foundation upon which you can begin the process of making your family’s, life better. Download your Free Guide to New York Divorce here.
