The 7 Basic Steps of a Long Island, NY Divorce

There are seven basic steps every couple going through a divorce on Long Island, NY experiences. Knowing what to expect can help you prepare and understand that what you are experiencing is normal and not cause for alarm. This can help you navigate your divorce with a clear head and prepare you for your future ahead. Learn about the seven basic steps of getting a divorce and find out how to get help from an experienced Long Island divorce lawyer today.

#1. Consideration of Divorce

The first step of getting a divorce actually occurs before divorce papers are served. It may even happen before either you or your spouse speak to the other about it. While often it is a discussion between spouses, oftentimes it is actually a surprise to one of the spouses that their partner was seriously considering ending the marriage through divorce.

In the rare case that the divorce is amicable, both spouses often go through the process of considering the advantages and disadvantages of getting a divorce at this stage in your marriage. You may do this alone or together, depending on whether you and your spouse can be cordial with each other and communicate effectively about the next steps in ending your marriage.

#2. Divorce Decision

After deliberating about whether or not to end your marriage, you and/or your spouse will need to make a decision. Perhaps both of you decide to proceed with the dissolution of your marriage, or perhaps one of you wants to try to work things out and the other wants to end the marriage as quickly as possible. Whatever you decide, it’s important that it be in your and your family’s best interests.

#3. Action Toward Divorce

To many people, the third step of getting a divorce on Long Island, NY seems like the first. This is where either you or your spouse will take the actual first step toward divorcing, such as hiring a divorce attorney or divorce mediator, preparing a separation agreement or formally filing for divorce.

#4. Divorce Conflict

In most divorces, there is some period of conflict, even in the most amicable of separations. After all, this is a very emotional situation which likely involves years of being together, the end of dreams of “happily ever after” and perhaps a breakup of a family unit including children. It’s an intensely emotion time full of conflicting emotions even if you are the one initiating the divorce.

If you and your spouse are at extreme odds with one another and have difficulty communicating effectively, there may be much more conflict than you expect. Conflict can occur before or after the divorce petition is filed and may continue throughout the divorce and potentially even afterwards, if you have to continue engaging with your spouse for the purposes of co-parenting.

#5. Negotiation of Divorce Terms

At some point, eventually you and your spouse will reach the negotiation stage where you and/or your divorce attorneys will attempt to negotiate who gets what when the marriage ends. This is when you will discuss important matters like child custody, visitation, alimony, and equitable distribution of property. Depending on how many years you were married, how many assets you share, and other factors, negotiating these matters may take several weeks or even months to reach an agreement on each issue.

If you and your spouse are on extremely good terms, you may be able to skip ahead to this step, bypassing or at least dramatically shortening the conflict stage. You may have success negotiating with your spouse on your own, or you may need to enlist the assistance of a skilled mediator who will help you compromise effectively with your spouse.

#6. Divorce Resolution

The second to last stage in the divorce process is the resolution stage. This is when the negotiation stage has reached completion and the final divorce decree is issued. All matters relating to the dissolution of marriage have been resolved or decided upon, and both former spouses are ready to begin the next chapter of their lives. You may feel a sense of relief that everything is over at this stage, or you may feel like it can’t be over yet and there are still things you need to do.

#7. Recovery and Moving On With Your Life

Finally, once the divorce is final, you will enter the recovery stage. This is when you will begin to mentally unpack what happened to cause the divorce, what happened during the divorce and how you and your spouse were able to make decisions about your individual futures, and what you will do next.

Finally, you are ready to start a new life without your spouse. This is both an exciting and extremely frightening time, so it’s important to get as much support as you can. Lean on family and friends during this time, and consider scheduling an appointment with a therapist or divorce counselor to help you process these new emotions.

How an Experienced New York Divorce Lawyer Can Help

Getting a divorce is stressful, expensive, time-consuming, and overall just exhausting. You need someone on your side who can not only fight for you aggressively in the courtroom, but also guide you through each stage of the divorce and let you know what to expect with the next step.

At Hornberger Verbitsky, PC, we understand how difficult the divorce process can be, both practically and emotionally. We are dedicated to providing each one of our valued clients with comprehensive, compassionate family legal support from the start of your case to the final judgment. Call our office now for an initial consultation by dialing 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form on this page.