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Spouse Preventing You from Hiring the Attorney You Want?

by | Jan 23, 2024 | Divorce Lawyer Divorce Attorney, NY

Is Your Ex ‘Conflicting Out’ Attorneys from You?

You and your ex are on the path to divorce, but every attorney you speak to says they cannot help you because there’s a conflict with them representing you? What is happening?

It’s a dirty, underhand divorce trick that makes it more difficult for you to work with the best Long Island, NY divorce attorneys. This divorce tactic is called “conflicting out”, and it can make it very difficult for you to get the legal help you need.

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What Does ‘Conflicting Out’ Mean?

Conflicting out means that your ex has contacted an attorney, often sharing some or a significant amount of the divorce details with that attorney. Once they do that, there’s a level of attorney-client privilege present. If you approach that same attorney requesting legal assistance, the attorney cannot represent you. Doing so could create a conflict of interest. This conflicting out trick can seriously hurt a person’s right to fair legal representation.

Some spouses may call all of the best divorce lawyers in Long Island, NY, simply in spite of you. All they need to share with the attorney is enough personal information to establish that attorney-client relationship. They choose one to ultimately work with, but because they’ve spoken to so many (or even all) of the divorce attorneys on Long Island, it makes it impossible for you to get help.

What to Do If You’ve Been Conflicted Out

It’s frustrating and limiting, but there are some strategies to help you if your spouse attempts to use this trick. Remember, it’s not the attorney’s fault because they are bound by the law. Although we do not charge for consultations because we believe it’s important to find the divorce attorney that best matches with you, this “conflicting out” process is one of the reasons many attorneys charge for consultations. Your spouse is less likely to set up multiple consultations if they have to pay for them. We can help you get legal guidance through all stages of divorce.

Keep Proof and Present it to the Judge

One of the most impactful ways you can turn this around on your spouse is simply to collect the data from each attorney, document it in any way possible, and present it to the divorce court. You could keep a list of each attorney you call who tells you that they cannot represent you due to a conflict of interest.

Then, show that this has hurt you. Having this evidence may prove abusive behavior by your ex. The divorce attorneys at Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. would never encourage our clients to employ this divorce tactic.

Seek out a Divorce Attorney on Long Island, NY Immediately

This is one of the reasons we recommend that you contact a reputable divorce attorney immediately upon discovering, or even suspecting that your spouse may be seeking a divorce.

Yes, it may be hard to do this if most of the best attorneys on Long Island, NY have been conflicted out. However, finding any person who can take your case is critical. This is a complex element of divorce law when it comes to proving to the court that this abuse took place.

Do not wait until you have all of the evidence possible to use against your spouse. Keep moving forward until you find an attorney who can represent you. Of course, we encourage you to contact us first, but there are many reputable divorce attorneys on Long Island, NY that can take your case.

Is Your Spouse Engaging in Other Abusive Divorce Tactics?

At Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C., we take all abusive actions like this very seriously. It puts your rights on the line, and that is something we fight heavily against. The conflicting out tactic is often just one form of abuse from attorneys. Others may include:

  • Money control making it impossible for you to get legal support
  • Social media post abuse or contacting you in private messages with hateful or painful statements
  • Publicly shaming you
  • Controlling your relationship with family members
  • Manipulation of your friends, relatives and children, including parental alienation
  • Malicious parent syndrome aimed at tarnishing your reputation

If you have been abused in any way by your ex or you are struggling to find an attorney because of conflicting out, call us. Do not let an ex bully you.

Allow our highly skilled, compassionate, and aggressive legal team to work to protect your rights to legal support. Take a moment to check out our book, “Successful Divorce Strategies,” which incorporates positive resolution strategies and helpful methods to get through your divorce without abusive practices.

Set Up a Consultation and Case Evaluation with Our Divorce Attorneys Now

Our experienced attorneys are ready to fight for you. It starts with a thorough case evaluation where we can discuss any and all of the strategies your ex is employing to limit your ability to start over. Our attorneys are caring and compassionate because we know what can happen.

Call us for a no-cost, no-obligation consultation. Put Hornberger Verbitsky P.C. to work for you now. Call 631-923-1910 to speak to our Long Island, NY divorce lawyers.

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There is no cost or obligation for this initial consultation. It is simply an opportunity for us to get to know each other, answer your questions and learn if Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. is right the right law firm for you. Give us a call at 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form below for your free consultation and case evaluation.

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About the Author

Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., Founding Partner, Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.

  • Over 20 years practicing matrimonial law
  • Over 1,000 cases successfully resolved
  • Founder and Partner of Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.
  • Experienced and compassionate Long Island Divorce Attorney, Family Law Attorney, and Divorce Mediator
  • Licensed to practice law in the State of New York
  • New York State Bar Association member
  • Nassau County Bar Association member
  • Suffolk County Bar Association member
  • “Super Lawyer” Metro Rising Star
  • Nominated Best of Long Island Divorce Attorney four consecutive years
  • Alternative Dispute Resolution Committee Contributor
  • Collaborative Law Association of New York – Former Director
  • Martindale Hubbell Distinguished Designation
  • America’s Most Honored Professionals – Top 5%
  • Lead Counsel Rated – Divorce Law
  • American Institute of Family Law Attorneys 10 Best
  • International Academy of Collaborative Professionals
  • Graduate of Hofstra University School of Law
  • Double Bachelor’s degrees in Philosophy, Politics & Law and History from SUNY Binghamton University
Divorce Lawyer Long Island New York
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Melissa Rappa
Melissa Rappa
18:09 08 Feb 24
At one of the hardest and most stressful times of my life, it was so comforting to have a team at Hornberger and Verbitsky who ALWAYS responded in record speed to my questions, phone calls, emails or texts and who I felt really cared about helping me through this difficult time. It was a long few years and I am grateful to all of you. Thank you so much Rob, AnneMarie, Christine, Patty, Joan and Lawrence. Your guidance, professionalism and expertise is appreciated beyond measure.
Paul Carmichael
Paul Carmichael
16:21 11 Dec 23
I would give 6 stars if I could. I can't say enough good things about Robert and his firm. We were in a situation for over 2 years and I could have never made it through without Robert's experience and knowledge. He guided me through tough times when needed and his expertise could "read" the situation and make the next best move for me. He was tough when he needed to be tough (thankfully) and at the same time guided me through the process to make me feel comfortable in an uncomfortable situation. I would not want to go through this process without Robert and his team having my back. he helped move the case along and not waste any time or money. One last time, I 100% endorse Robert and his expertise.

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