How Divorce Mediation Works on Long Island, NY

For many Long Island couples, divorce mediation offers a better way to end your marriage by minimizing the emotional and financial strain that often accompany other methods of divorce. Our divorce mediators’ goals are to make ending your marriage simple and enable you to complete the process quickly, easily, inexpensively and with the least stress. 

Step 1. Free Initial Consultation

You and your spouse come to our offices to meet with an experienced and compassionate divorce and family law attorney who is specially trained in Divorce Mediation on Long Island for approximately one hour. Your divorce mediator will discuss New York State Divorce Law all your separation and divorce options, pros and cons, costs, etc. He or she will review litigation, mediation, collaboration and other dispute resolution methods so that you and your spouse can make an informed decision about how you wish to proceed. There is no cost for this consultation. We want you to know your options and make the choice that’s right for your unique situation and relationship.

Should you and your spouse decide that divorce mediation is the best option for your family, your divorce mediator will explain what you can expect during the mediation process and answer any of your questions. During a relaxed, yet professional meeting, we will uncover the issues that must be resolved, and chart a path forward.

The goal of our initial consultation is to ensure you understand the issues involved in your divorce or separation and help explain how the mediation process will work. We are also looking to understand each of your views and positions on the various issues.

At the end of the meeting you will have am understanding of the issues you and your spouse will need to resolve, with the assistance of your divorce mediator, to arrive at a complete resolution of your divorce or separation.

Step 2. Divorce Mediation Sessions

When you retain a divorce mediator from Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. your mediator will lead you through a series of two-hour mediation sessions. The number of these sessions varies with the complexity of the issues involved in their particular cases and your ability to communicate and work out your differences. Most couples require just two or three sessions. The sessions are spaced as close or far apart as you desire.

While just one divorce mediator is usually necessary in mediation, you and your spouse are free to retain another attorney to independently advise you through the mediation process or to review the final agreement.

Because there are usually fewer attorneys involved, fewer time-consuming visits to Nassau or Suffolk county courthouses, and more open and honest communication, the cost of mediation is usually a small fraction of the cost of any other form of dispute resolution, especially litigation. Our Long Island divorce attorneys provide mediation services for a fixed fee. We charge one fixed fee for a defined number of mediation sessions.

Step 3. Mediation Sessions: Guided Discussions to Resolve Parenting, Support, and Property

Once the groundwork is laid, you’ll move into the heart of the process: the mediation sessions. These meetings are designed to provide a calm, structured environment where both spouses can openly discuss their priorities and reach fair, lasting resolutions. The mediator’s role is to guide the conversation, ensure each party is heard, and keep discussions productive and focused on practical solutions rather than blame. Whether the issues involve child custody, parenting time, property division, or financial support, every session is geared toward helping you both find common ground.

In most cases, couples complete their mediation in two to five sessions, each lasting about one to two hours. During these sessions, you’ll work through a detailed checklist of issues that must be resolved before your divorce can be finalized. Your mediator will help you identify points of agreement and clarify where further negotiation may be needed. Because each family’s circumstances are unique, the pace of the sessions depends on the complexity of your finances, parenting arrangements, and emotional readiness to make decisions.

Our mediators at Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. understand that these discussions can be emotional. We ensure that every session remains respectful and solution-focused. If tensions rise, we use proven conflict-resolution techniques to bring the conversation back to constructive dialogue. The goal is to help you reach a balanced agreement that both protects your legal rights and promotes long-term stability for you and your children.

Step 4. Draft Agreement: We Prepare a Memorandum of Understanding / Settlement Terms

Once all major issues have been discussed and agreed upon, your mediator will prepare a detailed written summary of your resolutions called a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU) or Settlement Agreement. This document reflects every term you’ve reached, including custody, visitation, child support, spousal maintenance, division of assets and debts, and any other matters unique to your situation. The draft serves as the foundation for your final divorce settlement filed with the court.

At this stage, clarity and precision are key. Your mediator ensures that the language accurately captures what both parties agreed to and complies with New York State domestic relations law. This includes ensuring financial disclosures are complete, support calculations align with state guidelines, and custody arrangements are clearly defined. A well-written agreement minimizes misunderstandings and future disputes, protecting both parties from confusion or unintended consequences later on.

Once the draft is complete, you’ll receive copies for your review. This is an opportunity to reflect, make sure the terms align with your understanding, and request any necessary clarifications or minor adjustments before moving forward. Having the agreement in writing helps you visualize how your new arrangements will work in practice. This often provides peace of mind after what may have been months of uncertainty.

Step 5. Independent Review: Each Party May Have Their Own Attorney Review the Draft

Mediation is a collaborative process, but it’s still important for each party to feel confident that their legal rights are fully protected. That’s why, once the draft settlement is complete, both spouses are encouraged to have it reviewed by their own independent attorney. This step ensures that you enter into your final agreement with a complete understanding of its terms and implications. The reviewing attorney can provide legal advice specific to your interests, which is something a neutral mediator ethically cannot do.

During this stage, your attorney will carefully examine each provision of the proposed agreement. They will confirm that the document accurately represents the outcome you intended and that the terms are fair under New York state law. If needed, they can suggest revisions or clarifications before you sign. This safeguard adds an extra layer of confidence and ensures the agreement can withstand judicial review when submitted to the court.

At Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C., we fully support the independent review process and regularly collaborate with reviewing attorneys to finalize agreements efficiently. This step reinforces the integrity of the mediation process and allows you to enjoy the cost and time savings of mediation while still benefiting from individualized legal protection. It’s one of the many ways we help clients achieve peace of mind before moving to the final stage.

Step 6. Court Filing: Final Documents Are Submitted to the Court to Make Your Agreement Enforceable

Once both parties have reviewed and approved the settlement agreement, the final step is to make it official. Your mediator or attorney will prepare the necessary court filing documents, including the Divorce Judgment, Affidavit of Plaintiff, and Child Support and Custody Worksheets (if applicable). These documents, along with your signed agreement, are filed with either the Nassau County Supreme Court or the Suffolk County Supreme Court, depending upon where you reside.

Unlike contested divorce cases, most mediation-based divorces are processed without the need for court appearances. The court’s role is primarily administrative. It reviews the agreement to ensure it meets state requirements and protects any children’s best interests. Once approved, the court issues a Judgment of Divorce, making your mediated settlement a legally binding and enforceable order. This means all provisions, including custody, support, and property division, carry the same authority as if a judge had issued them after trial.

This final step provides closure and stability. You can move forward with confidence knowing that your divorce was handled respectfully, efficiently, and with full legal recognition. At Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C., our goal is to help clients reach this point smoothly and minimize any stress while maximizing control over the process. Your signed, court-approved agreement marks not just the end of a marriage, but the beginning of a healthier, more peaceful new chapter.

For more information, visit our Comprehensive Guide to Long Island Divorce Mediation.

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Schedule your complimentary consultation and case evaluation with our experienced attorneys today. When you call, you’ll speak to our friendly Client Services Director, who will be able to answer your general questions and set up your appointment with an attorney who specializes in your unique case.

At your meeting, your attorney will evaluate your case and describe the many options available to you so we can determine together which is the right solution for you. By the end of this meeting we’ll all understand how we can best help you to move forward.

No Cost or Obligation

There is no cost or obligation for this initial consultation. It is simply an opportunity for us to get to know each other, evaluate your case and answer your questions.