As a Long Island Divorce Lawyer, I have seen that aside from a family member passing away, a divorce is likely one of the most emotional experiences you will go through. In many ways it is a loss similar to a death.
While you may try to prepare yourself for the pain that comes along with a divorce, you may not be prepared for the other myriad of emotions you will experience. There may be days you wake up happy, angry, or full of anxiety, and the better equipped you are to handle a variety of emotions, the better you will cope overall. At times you may want to crawl under the covers and never come out, and while that may be okay for a few hours after a rough day, it is not a conducive coping mechanism. As a Long Island Divorce Attorney, and working with many talented grief counselors, I have become familiar with numerous ways people handle these stresses, and the following are a few suggestions.
- Confide in a Trusted Friend or Family Member. When you were younger, nothing felt better than talking to your closet friend or a parent about something that was deeply troubling you. Regardless of whether or not a solution came of the discussion, the mere fact that someone listened seemed to always make things better. As we grow older and problems become more serious and private, it becomes harder to confide in people, especially about the most emotional issues of our lives. However, that feeling of relief that comes from talking to a loved one is still the same. Pick up the phone and call your best friend or your mom or a sibling. Even if they don’t say anything on the other end, you will feel better to have said the words aloud.
- Seek Counseling. You may not have a solid support system or someone you feel comfortable sharing private matters with. Or you may feel that your friends and family have biased opinions, or rather just give too many opinions. In these instances, there is nothing wrong with seeking counseling to discuss your divorce. Everything said in a counseling session is strictly confidential and nothing can be used against you during your divorce proceedings. A therapist may also be the best person to help you with coming to terms with why you are overjoyed one day but can barely get two feet out of bed the next.
- Eat Well. Remember the old saying “you are what you eat?” Well it’s true. During stressful times, many people tend to turn to junk food: fast food, pizza, cakes, cookies, and other sweets and fried foods. While these things certainly taste good, and are “comfort foods” for a reason, they will not make you feel good in the long run. There’s usually a let down after the binge. Everyone indulges now and again, but try to avoid letting your emotions control your eating habits. You may not think this makes much of a difference, but your divorce on Long Island may last for a year or more, and after a year of fast food for every meal you will inevitably feel slow, tired, and unmotivated and that will not help your self image or your happiness.
- Get Outside. You do not have to be a tri-athlete or marathon runner, but the simple act of getting up and stepping outside can change the mood of your entire day. Weather permitting of course, find a park near your home that has a trail, or head down to the beach boardwalk. Bring your dog, your iPod, a book, or your best friend and just get outside. Whether you walk for a few miles or sit under a tree, a little bit of fresh air and sunlight can do wonders for your mind and your physical and emotional health.
- Spend time with family and friends.We all have been there, that feeling where you would rather be alone than hold even the slightest conversation with anyone. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be alone with your thoughts, however, when that becomes ALL that you do, you’re heading down an unhealthy path. Humans are social animals. We need to socialize to be healthy. We have all been there to know that once we begin to socialize, we naturally start to feel better. Socializing and spending time with those you care about, and who care about you, allows you to keep your mind occupied and forget, at least for the time being, all the stresses you are dealing with. Call your friends or your siblings and plan to get together for dinner one night, or plan a weekend trip. Besides giving you something to look forward to, it will inevitably hand you a few necessary laughs when you need them most.
Need Help? Contact the Experienced and Compassionate Long Island Divorce Attorneys at Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., PC
The experienced and compassionate Long Island divorce attorneys at Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., PC work with their clients to help them cope with the emotional aspects of their divorce by handling the stressful business and financial aspects so you can take care of your emotional needs. Contact us today at 631-910-1910 for a free consultation to discuss the specifics of your case and how we can help you with the best, most affordable representation.