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Divorce Mediator Long Island, NY: Expert Mediation Services

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Divorce Mediators, Long Island, New York
Divorce Mediators, Long Island, New York

Divorce in any form often brings stress and financial concerns. Opting for a divorce mediator on Long Island, NY can make a significant difference in your divorce experience. For many Long Island couples, divorce mediation offers a better way to end your marriage by minimizing the emotional and financial strain that often accompany other methods of divorce. Our divorce mediators’ goals are to make ending your marriage simple and enable you to complete the process quickly, easily, inexpensively and with the least stress. At Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C., our experienced Long Island, NY divorce mediators are dedicated to facilitating amicable separations, reducing stress, time, and costs for all involved.

What Is Divorce Mediation?

Divorce mediation is a non-adversarial approach to resolving divorce and separation issues. In this alternate dispute resolution process, a neutral third-party divorce mediator helps the divorcing couple communicate and negotiate with one another about important matters that need to be settled during the divorce, including property division, child custody, support, etc. It is imperative to the success of your divorce mediation sessions that the couple needs to be able to clearly communicate with each other in a non-threatening and non-accusatory way in order for divorce mediation to be an effective means of resolving their practical divorce issues.

Divorce mediation can help couples avoid the time, expense, stress and publicity of hashing out a divorce in court. The goal of your divorce mediator is to help you reach mutually acceptable terms in a less confrontational way, which typically leads to a more amicable and cost-effective divorce.


Free New York Divorce Lawyer Consultation
Free New York Divorce Lawyer Consultation

How Does Long Island Divorce Mediation Work?

If you’re considering getting a divorce or preparing for the process, it’s a good idea to have an understanding of how divorce mediation works and what you can expect. During this process, you and your spouse will meet with your divorce mediator who will help you discuss the terms of your separation one issue at a time. In essence, it is a simple, two-step process that starts with your initial consultation.

Step 1. Free Initial Consultation with a Divorce Mediator

You and your spouse come to our offices to meet with an experienced and compassionate attorney who is specially trained in Divorce Mediation on Long Island, NY. This meeting will last approximately one hour. Your divorce mediator will discuss New York State Divorce Law all your separation and divorce options, pros and cons, costs, etc. He or she will review litigation, mediation, collaboration and other dispute resolution methods so that you and your spouse can make an informed decision about how you wish to proceed. There is no cost for this consultation. We want you to know your options and make the choice that’s right for your unique situation and relationship.

Should you and your spouse decide that divorce mediation is the best option for your family, your divorce mediator will explain what you can expect during the mediation process and answer any of your questions. During a relaxed, yet professional meeting, we will uncover the issues that must be resolved, and, in some cases, help you resolve several of those during the initial free consultation.

The goal of our initial consultation is to ensure you understand the issues involved in your divorce or separation and help explain how the mediation process will work. We are also looking to understand each of your views and positions on the various issues.

At the end of the meeting you will have a guide that outlines the issues you and your spouse will need to resolve, with the assistance of your divorce mediator, to arrive at a complete resolution of your divorce or separation.

The mediator does not represent either spouse or give advice; instead, they help you effectively communicate to offer potential compromises and mutually beneficial solutions that can hopefully serve the best interests of everyone involved.

There are a number of different types of divorce mediators who can help you; some are divorce attorneys and others are not. If you choose to use a divorce mediator or divorce mediation service that is not a licensed, practicing divorce attorney, you will want to have a divorce attorney in Long Island, NY look over your final divorce agreement to be sure you are each protected under New York State law.

The length of time it takes to mediate depends on the complexity of the divorce and the ability of you and your spouse to work together. You can bring your own attorney to mediation, since the mediator can’t give you legal advice or tell you what you should do.

Step 2. Sessions with Your Divorce Mediator

When you retain a divorce mediator from Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C., Attorneys & Counselors at Law, your mediator will lead you through a series of two-hour mediation sessions. The number of these sessions varies with the complexity of the issues involved in their particular cases and the couple’s ability to communicate and work out their differences, but most couples require just two or three sessions. The sessions are spaced as close or far apart as you desire. Mediation can take place weekly, bi-weekly, or on any schedule agreed upon by both spouses and the mediator.

While just one divorce mediator is usually necessary in mediation, you and your spouse are free to retain another attorney to independently advise you through the mediation process or to review the final agreement.

Because there are usually fewer attorneys involved, fewer time-consuming visits to the county courthouses, and more open and honest communication, the cost of mediation is usually a small fraction of the cost of any other form of dispute resolution, especially litigation. Our Long Island divorce attorneys provide mediation services for a fixed fee. We charge one fixed fee for a defined number of mediation sessions.

What Is the Role of a Divorce Mediator in the Divorce Process?

A divorce mediator acts as a neutral third party, facilitating communication between divorcing spouses to reach mutually agreeable solutions on issues like asset division and child custody. Their goal is to help couples navigate the divorce process amicably, saving time, money, and emotional stress.

How Does a Divorce Mediator Differ from a Divorce Lawyer?

A divorce mediator facilitates communication between divorcing parties to reach a mutually beneficial agreement, focusing on collaboration and compromise. In contrast, divorce lawyers advocate for their individual clients in court, representing their best interests through legal procedures and negotiations.


Free New York Divorce Lawyer Consultation
Free New York Divorce Lawyer Consultation

Divorce Mediation and Children

Divorce is a Restructuring of the Family

If you have children, your divorce or separation will affect them for the rest of their lives. You owe it to your children to seek less adversarial resolution to you case to reduce the stress on your children.

The end of your marriage will likely be an emotional, difficult, and frightening experience for your children. They are naturally confused by what’s going on and likely don’t understand why mom and dad can’t live together anymore. Often, they feel guilt over child custody issues if they are made to “take sides” with one parent against the other.  Kids Guide to Separation & Divorce from the California Courts may help your children understand why mom and dad are divorcing.

In a traditional, litigated divorce, children all too often become victims of the process. They are subject to witnessing the constant battle their parents have with each other over issues like how much child support to pay or who gets to spend weekends or holidays with them. These decisions can put a great emotional strain on a child.

Mediation for divorce often provides a more successful method of managing these issues because it removes the adversarial nature that is inherent with litigation and replaces it with amicable, goal-oriented problem-solving. Instead of arguing about child custody and visitation, you and your spouse have an opportunity to sit down and discuss with your divorce mediator which outcome is in the best interests of your children. This removes much of the stress and anger that children feel and react to in a more traditional litigated divorce.


What Are the Benefits of Working with a Divorce Mediator on Long Island, NY?

There are many benefits of using a divorce mediator to resolve your divorce, including:

Divorce Mediation Takes Less Time

The adversarial nature of divorce litigation can often cause the process to last for years with coordinating attorney and court schedules and filing motions and responses to motions. But with divorce mediation, you’re more likely to spend just a few months resolving all of the aspects of your divorce. Because you and your spouse are working together, you’re in control of how long it takes. Your divorce could even be finalized after a few sessions with the mediator if you and your partner are able to easily agree on the terms.

Divorce Mediation Has a Lower Cost

In general, using mediation for divorce is considerably more cost-effective than divorce litigation. Mediation prioritizes open communication, cooperation, problem-solving, and compromise, all of which contribute to a more streamlined and efficient separation process.

By avoiding the need for lengthy court appearances and more billable attorney hours, couples who opt for mediation typically pay a lot less to divorce. This allows you to allocate the resources you have more effectively and helps minimize the financial strain associated with a traditional divorce.

Divorce Mediation Causes Less Stress

Divorce litigation often results in ongoing battles that can cause a great deal of stress for the whole family. Litigated divorces that are particularly contentious or complex can take an extreme toll on everyone involved.

Divorce mediation is a friendlier and less confrontational process than a litigated divorce. This helps minimize feelings of hostility you and your spouse may have toward one another and makes it more likely that you will reach a mutually beneficial agreement you can both live with moving forward. This reduces the stress during the process and the stress afterwards. Couples who mediate their divorce often maintain much better and more open communication with their ex than those who litigate their divorce. This is better for everyone in the family, including the children, and often results in an easier time moving forward with your life after divorce.

Divorce Mediation Allows Greater Confidentiality

Another significant benefit of divorce mediation, especially if you and your partner have children, is the fact that any divorce judgment reached by mediation is confidential. If your divorce is litigated in court, it becomes public record, and therefore, all information that was discussed during the divorce also becomes public record. This includes your finances, assets, income, any fault asserted, and all other personal issues that may have been discussed.


Free New York Divorce Lawyer Consultation
Free New York Divorce Lawyer Consultation

How to Know If Divorce Mediation Is Right for You

Because divorce mediation involves you and your partner coming to a mutual agreement on your own terms with the help of your divorce mediator, you both need to be relatively cordial with each other. While you don’t need to be in complete agreement before you enter mediation, you both need to be willing to listen to your partner and make reasonable compromises that are in the best interest of you and your family.

While not necessary, it can be helpful if both you and your spouse have been involved in handling the finances throughout the marriage. If you are both aware of your current financial situation and obligations, there is less chance of surprises or unexpected results.

If you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse have feelings of resentment or animosity toward one another, divorce mediation may be a more difficult experience. When going through a divorce, it is almost inevitable that there will be disagreements along the way; so long as these are minor or things that are capable of resolution, mediation for divorce may be something you want to consider.


What to Expect During Divorce Mediation in New York

When you first speak with your divorce mediator, they’ll ask you for some basic background information about your marriage and what issues will need to be addressed in your divorce. This consultation may be done over the phone or in the mediator’s office. Depending on your circumstances, your mediator may want to meet with you and your spouse together or separately for the initial meeting.

Because divorce is a complicated process, you’ll need to have your legal and financial documents in order before filing your divorce settlement with the court. This includes proof of income, assets, debts, and health and life insurance records. Your divorce mediator can provide you with a complete list of documents and information to have ready.

Many divorce mediators encourage spouses to refrain from discussing sensitive divorce issues outside the mediation sessions, since this can potentially lead to arguments and the unwillingness to compromise in the mediation room.

Once your divorce mediation is successfully completed, you and your spouse will sign an agreement that will allow you to have an uncontested divorce. An uncontested divorce means that you and your spouse will not have to “contest” or argue any issues in court.

The Long Island, NY divorce lawyers at Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. regularly and successfully mediate divorces for families like you from our offices in Dix Hills, NY. We are happy to meet with you to discuss how we can help you.


Free New York Divorce Lawyer Consultation
Free New York Divorce Lawyer Consultation

Top 10 Tips for Successful Mediation

Here are some tips to help make divorce mediation easier and more effective:

#1. Be Prepared to Participate

It’s easier to take a backseat and let your attorney do the talking during divorce litigation than it is during divorce mediation. During mediation, both you and your spouse should be prepared to fully participate and talk through each issue that comes up. Your divorce mediator is there to guide you and your spouse to reach the best agreement for both of you.

#2. Be Ready to Make (Some) Compromises

It’s usually not possible to get everything you want in your divorce, especially if you’re mediating the dissolution and are interested in avoiding litigation if you can. Be ready to make some compromises and think about what issues you are most willing to negotiate. Offer these up for negotiation first, leaving the things you really don’t want to budge on off the table.

#3. Have Copies of All Important Documentation Available at Mediation

Your mediation will go more smoothly if you have copies of important documents like bank account statements, tax returns, property and assets, etc. ready to go. Call ahead to find out what you need to bring and ensure you have enough copies for yourself, your spouse, and your divorce mediator.

#4. Set Reasonable Goals

The goal of divorce litigation is to “win,” often at any cost. However, this isn’t necessarily the best approach for divorce mediation. Look for ways to create reasonable goals, such as sharing child custody or reaching an agreement on the length and amount of alimony that works best for both parties. Your win in divorce mediation is to resolve your divorce as quickly and cost-effectively as possible.

#5. Be Civil and Respectful

During mediation, be respectful and civil when communicating with your spouse and the mediator. If you and your spouse aren’t on speaking terms or can’t be in a room together without fighting, mediation may not be the best option to resolve your divorce.

#6. Create a Compelling Case

Long Island, NY courts typically make decisions in divorce cases that are in the best interests of children or a lesser earning spouse. When going through the process of mediation, it’s important to make your case appear as compelling and persuasive as it can be. A divorce mediation lawyer can help you present accurate information in the best possible light.

#7. Look for Creative Solutions

Don’t be afraid to offer or discuss creative solutions to issues you and your spouse are facing. Although a potential solution may look unconventional, such as a male spouse being awarded primary custody, it may be the best resolution for the family.

#8. Exercise Patience

While mediation typically allows couples to dissolve their divorce amicably faster than litigation, it may still take several weeks or months to negotiate a settlement that you and your spouse both agree upon. Be patient with the mediation process and discuss any questions or concerns you have with a trusted and experienced divorce mediation lawyer in Long Island, NY.

#9. Get Professional Emotional Support

Both divorce mediation and traditional divorce litigation can be emotionally draining, especially if you have children and are dealing with child custody and support issues. Consider obtaining professional counseling, group therapy, or other mental health support while going through the process of divorce mediation to help you manage your own feelings about the split.

#10. Contact an Experienced Long Island Divorce Attorney

A mediator can help you and your spouse reach an agreement about various aspects of your divorce, but they cannot provide you with legal advice or inform you of what would or wouldn’t be in your best interests. This is why you and your spouse might each want to have your own attorneys review any divorce agreement that comes out of the mediation process.


Free New York Divorce Lawyer Consultation
Free New York Divorce Lawyer Consultation

How Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. Family and Divorce Attorneys Can Help

Divorce mediation is a confidential, collaborative process that helps you resolve the issues involved in ending your marriage without the time, stress and expense of litigation in court. Our experienced Long Island, NY divorce mediators can help guide you through this process quickly and fairly, so you can get the best results possible for your family.

At Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C., we encourage honest and open discussion between you and your spouse about the important issues you need to resolve. We help you find common ground and instead of imposing ideas or solutions, we guide you to make your own decisions about the best ways to resolve the issues involved in ending your marriage. Our process is geared toward helping you rebuild the foundation for a strong family bond, while best positioning you to move forward with your life.

The Long Island, NY divorce mediators at Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. regularly and successfully mediate divorces for families like you from our offices in Dix Hills, NY. We are happy to meet with you to discuss how we can help you.

Give us a call at 631-923-1910 for a free consultation and case evaluation with a skilled Long Island, NY divorce mediator. We’ll discuss the specifics of your case and determine if you and your spouse are suitable candidates for divorce mediation. Alternatively, fill out the short form on this page, and we’ll promptly get back to you to see how we can assist as your chosen divorce mediator in Long Island.

For more information, visit our Comprehensive Guide to Long Island Divorce Mediation.


Divorce is never easy, but Hornberger Verbitsky made the process as smooth as it gets. I used the firm for mediation. All emails were answered quickly, and the team was extremely knowledgeable. Patty in particular was wonderful to work with, and very patient with all of my questions. I would highly recommend Hornberger Verbitsky!

Lisa Cavaliere

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Divorce Lawyer Long Island New York
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Melissa Rappa
Melissa Rappa
18:09 08 Feb 24
At one of the hardest and most stressful times of my life, it was so comforting to have a team at Hornberger and Verbitsky who ALWAYS responded in record speed to my questions, phone calls, emails or texts and who I felt really cared about helping me through this difficult time. It was a long few years and I am grateful to all of you. Thank you so much Rob, AnneMarie, Christine, Patty, Joan and Lawrence. Your guidance, professionalism and expertise is appreciated beyond measure.
Paul Carmichael
Paul Carmichael
16:21 11 Dec 23
I would give 6 stars if I could. I can't say enough good things about Robert and his firm. We were in a situation for over 2 years and I could have never made it through without Robert's experience and knowledge. He guided me through tough times when needed and his expertise could "read" the situation and make the next best move for me. He was tough when he needed to be tough (thankfully) and at the same time guided me through the process to make me feel comfortable in an uncomfortable situation. I would not want to go through this process without Robert and his team having my back. he helped move the case along and not waste any time or money. One last time, I 100% endorse Robert and his expertise.

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