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Divorce Advice for Men on Long Island

by | Jul 2, 2013 | Father's Rights, NY

Are Nassau & Suffolk County Divorce Courts ‘Stacked’ Against Men?

As a Long Island Divorce Attorney, I represent a number of men who, when first coming to my office, believe that they are going to get the proverbial “short end of the stick” in their divorce.  I tell them that the law is neutral, and that what they believe is simply not the case.  Here are some tips for men to help them through the process.

Tips to Help Men in a Long Island Divorce

#1. Go in with the right attitude.

Most men seem to feel that divorce is similar to a lawsuit. The truth is, the men who approach the situation like a business negotiation are typically the ones who achieve the best results. No one ever “wins” a divorce and going in with this mentality ultimately hurts you in the long run. Your divorce should be about making sure both sides receive a fair outcome. To Nassau and Suffolk County Courts, marriage is nothing more than a contract, and divorce is the dissolution of that contract, therefore, you must treat the process as such.

#2. Protect your financial security.

Close any joint bank accounts and credit cards you may have with your partner. If there is a significant income disparity between you and your wife, with hers being less than yours, there are ways to lessen the gap. For example, if your wife doesn’t work, get an evaluation of the wife’s potential workforce value. Another way to protect your financial interests is to hire a CPA to take advantage of any tax deductions during the divorce. Insisting that a part of your child support payments go to the child’s college savings account is another good idea.

#3. Finally, and arguably the most important point, is do not go it alone.

Trying to handle your divorce pro se typically leads to disastrous results for men. Even divorce attorneys don’t handle their own divorce. There is a good reason for the old saying, “the lawyer who represents himself has an idiot for a client”. Divorce is an emotional legal case and even attorneys who know the ropes can’t be objective in their own case. You may be a genius, but you don’t stand a chance against your wife’s objective attorney if you try to represent yourself. The benefits of having a lawyer work through your divorce are monumental compared to doing it alone. Lawyers have done many divorces before, they’ve seen almost everything and your divorce is not the first of its kind for whoever you hire. They also likely know the other attorney, the judge, the Nassau County of Suffolk County Court officers, clerks and everyone else who will be involved in your case.  Make sure you get an experienced attorney you can trust who will look out for your best interests.

Check out our Divorce Guide for Dads for more information about divorce issues specifically related to fathers.

We Can Help. Call for a Free Consultation

The Divorce and Family Law Firm of Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. is experienced at protecting the financial and insurance needs of Long Islanders like you. If you have any questions regarding these issues, we will be delighted to assist you. Give us a call at 631-923-1910 to schedule a free complimentary consultation to discuss your needs and options.

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Divorce Lawyer Long Island New York
Melissa Rappa
Melissa Rappa
18:09 08 Feb 24
At one of the hardest and most stressful times of my life, it was so comforting to have a team at Hornberger and Verbitsky who ALWAYS responded in record speed to my questions, phone calls, emails or texts and who I felt really cared about helping me through this difficult time. It was a long few years and I am grateful to all of you. Thank you so much Rob, AnneMarie, Christine, Patty, Joan and Lawrence. Your guidance, professionalism and expertise is appreciated beyond measure.
Paul Carmichael
Paul Carmichael
16:21 11 Dec 23
I would give 6 stars if I could. I can't say enough good things about Robert and his firm. We were in a situation for over 2 years and I could have never made it through without Robert's experience and knowledge. He guided me through tough times when needed and his expertise could "read" the situation and make the next best move for me. He was tough when he needed to be tough (thankfully) and at the same time guided me through the process to make me feel comfortable in an uncomfortable situation. I would not want to go through this process without Robert and his team having my back. he helped move the case along and not waste any time or money. One last time, I 100% endorse Robert and his expertise.
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