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DIY Divorce on Long Island, NY: What You Can Do Yourself and When to Call a Lawyer

Most people in Nassau County and Suffolk County, Long Island, NY find Do It Yourself (DIY) divorce appealing for the cost savings. In this post I’ll explain what you need to consider when handling your divorce yourself so you can decide if that makes sense for your situation versus when you should hire an experienced Long Island divorce law firm.
You can often manage a very simple uncontested divorces with no children, few assets, and clear agreements between you and your spouse by yourself, or with minimal assistance from a Long Island divorce lawyer to handle the paperwork. When you need to call an experienced divorce lawyer if there are any disputes over child custody, child support, complex assets or businesses, hidden finances, tax implications, or any history of abuse or coercion.
Key Takeaways from This Article
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DIY divorce is reasonable when both spouses fully agree on property division, child support and child custody, with limited assets and zero contested issues.
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Marital real estate on Long Island, NY, mortgages and home equity often complicate DIY settlements. Get a lawyer if the marital home is a significant asset.
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Any custody, child-support disputes, relocation requests or history of abuse call for legal representation to protect children and parental rights.
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Complex finances including business interests, retirement plans, pensions, stock options or significant tax consequences, require an attorney and often forensic expert assistance.
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Uncontested divorce papers and filings can be handled with state forms or online services, but we recommend having an attorney review the final agreement for enforceability and tax pitfalls.
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Divorce mediation or collaborative divorce can save money while using professionals to negotiate and draft binding agreements.
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Local court procedures, temporary orders, uncooperative spouses or enforcement/modification issues are situations where hiring an experienced Long Island divorce lawyer is important.
Navigating the DIY Divorce Landscape on Long Island, New York
In this post, I will assess whether your case fits DIY criteria by looking for clear agreement on custody and finances, limited assets, and no history of abuse or hidden business interests. I often handle Long Island, NY divorces where spouses split bank accounts, retirement, and one property, typically needing 6-10 forms; anything involving complex valuations, contested custody, or high net worth should push you toward utilizing experienced legal counsel.
What Is a DIY Divorce on Long Island, New York: What You Need to Know
DIY divorce means you prepare and file the paperwork, negotiate the settlement, and manage the servicing of legal documents and court filings yourself. I advise a DIY approach when both parties fully agree on parenting time and asset division. A DIY divorce can save you roughly $2,000-$10,000 in legal fees, but failures in valuation or incomplete disclosures often erase those savings, create costly delays and can come back to “haunt” filers for years to come, just when you’re trying to put your new life on track.
Essential Online Forms and the Importance of Proper Nassau County & Suffolk County Court Filing Basics
Key New York documents include a Summons with Notice or Summons and Verified Complaint, affidavits proving service, the Judgment of Divorce, and mandatory financial disclosures (pay stubs, recent tax returns, sworn financial statement). It is critically important that you provide the Nassau County Supreme Court or Suffolk County Supreme Court with precise, complete submissions because clerks in these courts routinely reject or adjourn filings for missing pages, unsigned affidavits, or absent exhibits.
Practical filing steps:
- Confirm your county’s e filing rules (see links for Nassau County and Suffolk County Supreme Courts above)
- Assemble the 6-10 required documents
- Arrange for personal service or agreed alternate service for divorce Summons and Complaint
- File the Affidavit of Service plus financial exhibits.
Note: I’ve seen Nassau County and Suffolk County divorce cases delayed three months over a missing affidavit, so it’s important to verify cover sheets, index numbers, signatures, and ensure that exhibits are tabbed and attached.
Am I a Candidate for DIY Divorce?
Short, amicable splits with limited assets and no children are the cases I believe are most suited to DIY filing. If your marriage lasted under five years, you and your spouse agree on dividing joint accounts and debts, property values are under $75,000 combined, and there’s no history of abuse or hidden income, you may be able to complete the forms, file with the appropriate Nassau County or Suffolk County Supreme Court clerk, and finalize the decree without hiring legal counsel.
When a DIY Divorce Might Work for You: Short Marriages Without Complications
If your marriage lasted less than five years, you have no children under 18, and both you and your spouse agree on all aspects of property division and spousal support (alimony), DIY divorce can save you thousands of dollars. Low-cost document services and court filing fees often total $300-$1,200 compared with attorney fees of $5,000-$15,000 for contested divorce cases. I recommend DIY divorces when these criteria are met and there are no pensions, no small business ownership, and asset values are small and straightforward.
The Checklist: Assessing Your Suitability for Self-Representation in DIY Divorce on Long Island
I use this quick checklist to determine if DIY divorce is right for you:
- Do you and your spouse agree on child custody, child support and spousal support agreements?
- Is there no order of protection or domestic violence allegations?
- Are combined assets and debts under about $75,000?
- Is neither party self-employed or own a business?
- Are retirement accounts under $10,000 or easily divisible?
- Do both parties feel comfortable with handling the paperwork and court deadlines?
If you can answer an emphatic yes to all of these questions, DIY divorce may work for you.
Property Valuations Are Key in DIY (and All) Divorces on Long Island, NY
Valuing property matters. Get a certified appraisal for real estate ($300-$500) and statements for retirement accounts. Under New York’s CSSA child support formulas, gross income and parenting time determine obligations, so run the numbers before signing any agreement. I advise obtaining credit reports, documenting two years of paystubs, and avoiding DIY if there’s any potential for hidden income, complex tax issues, or disputes over a business or pension that could change your settlement outcomes.
Risks of DIY Divorce: Mistakes, Delays, Unfair Settlements
I often see DIY filers underestimate hidden complexities, including undisclosed retirement accounts, tax liabilities, and enforceable parenting schedules. A missed QDRO can wipe out tens of thousands of dollars; incorrect financial disclosure invites later litigation; poorly drafted support or property terms lead to reopened cases. The list goes on and on. On Long Island, NY, contested matters can stretch into months and add thousands of dollars in legal costs that erase initial savings, so you need to weigh short-term thrift against long-term financial exposure.
Common DIY Divorce Mistakes That Could Cost You Long Term
People frequently submit incomplete financial affidavits, forget QDRO drafting for 401(k)/pensions, or waive health coverage without alternatives. Simple form errors, including missing notarizations or simply wrong captions, can delay filings by 30 or more days on the court calendar and incur additional fees. I’ve seen clients accept asset splits without specifying tax consequences and later absorb unexpected capital gains or withholding penalties that reduced their recovery by thousands of dollars.
Risks of Delays and Unfair Settlements in DIY Divorce
When a spouse stalls or conceals income, unrepresented parties often take hurried agreements that greatly undervalue assets or understate support obligations. I handled a Long Island divorce case where a pro se (DIY) filer accepted a settlement roughly 30% below fair value because no valuation expert or QDRO language was used. Overturning the original settlement naturally cost far more than initial counsel from an experienced divorce lawyer would have. These kinds of delays also freeze child support and spousal maintenance payments for months, which can dramatically increasing the hardship for the recipient of these payments.
Hidden debts and late-disclosed assets regularly create significant issues. Forensic accounting uncovers undisclosed transfers in about 10-15% of contested divorce cases I review. Securing temporary orders early preserves support and exclusive use of the home, avoiding the need for emergency motions. Cashing out retirement without a QDRO triggers a 10% federal penalty plus income tax, often eroding 20-30% of the account, so rushing a settlement can produce substantial, avoidable losses.
When to Call in the Experts: Complexity and Legal Nuance
If your case involves high-value assets, a family business, stock options, multiple properties on Long Island or elsewhere, or contested child custody with allegations of abuse, I strongly recommend involving an experienced Long Island divorce attorney. Equitable distribution, tax consequences, and retirement division often require valuation experts and QDROs. New York child support guidelines (17% for one child, 25% for two) can be misleading when income is irregular. You can DIY simple uncontested divorces, but these complications benefit from professional review to avoid costly mistakes now that will dramatically impact your future for years to come.
Identifying Red Flags: Complex Situations That Demand an Experienced Long Island Divorce Lawyer
Signs that you need an experienced Long Island divorce lawyer include hidden or self-employed income, business valuations, complex debt allocation, pension or 401(k) division requirements, relocation disputes, or protective orders. I’ve seen cases where undisclosed rental income changed support by thousands of dollars monthly, and where improper handling of a QDRO cost clients tens of thousands of dollars. If either party seeks temporary relief, spousal support, or contested custody timeframes, get a divorce attorney involved early.
Limited-Scope Representation Can Save You Thousands in DIY Divorce
Limited-scope representation lets you handle most of the case yourself while hiring a divorce attorney for specific tasks, such as
- Drafting or reviewing a divorce settlement
- Negotiating one outstanding issue (like spousal or child support, etc.)
- Preparing a QDRO
- Representing you at a single hearing.
I often use this model to keep costs down while addressing legal risks. In this way you stay in control of filings and communication, and I step in for targeted expertise when the stakes or complexity rise.
Typical limited-scope arrangements include document review and redline, negotiation-only services for a flat fee, or court appearance for a single motion. This approach lets you avoid full retainers while securing help for high-risk moments like valuations, child custody hearings, or drafting enforceable settlement language.
Resources for the Self-Representee: Finding Help in Nassau County and Suffolk County, Long Island, NY
Directory of Free or Low-Cost Legal Resources
On Long Island I direct people to the Nassau County Bar Association or the Suffolk County Bar Association referral services, the Suffolk County Legal Aid Society or Nassau County Legal Aid Society offices, the New York Legal Assistance Group (NYLAG) and the New York State Unified Court System self-help centers located in Nassau County and Suffolk County courthouses. Free weekend clinics, law library workshops, and Pro Bono Net partners run periodic intake events; many offer unbundled services or document review for modest fees, often suitable for straightforward uncontested divorces and basic custody paperwork.
How to Access Support and Guidance when Needed
I suggest starting with a limited-scope consultation with an experienced divorce law firm Our firm, Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. offers a free, no-obligation, confidential consultation and case evaluation either in person, over the phone or via internet meeting (Zoom). Many Long Island family lawyers offer 30-90 minute sessions for roughly $150-$400-so you can get targeted advice without full representation. Court-sponsored mediation programs in Nassau and Suffolk often resolve parenting and financial issues faster and cheaper than litigation; ask the court clerk about Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) calendars or request a referral through the county bar referral service.
Document Preparation is Key to any Divorce Consultation
Prepare for any consultation with a divorce attorney by gathering appropriate paperwork.
- Pay stubs
- Recent tax returns
- Mortgage/lease documents
- Bank statements
- Proposed settlement outline
Bring copies of these documents for your divorce attorney to review. Ask for a written engagement letter defining the limited scope (document review, phone follow-up, or drafting one agreement) and a flat-fee or capped hourly estimate so you control costs while getting the legal protection you need on key points of your divorce agreement.
Long Island DIY Divorce Can Save You Time & Money If Your Case is Simple & Straightforward
DIY divorce on Long Island can save you time and money when you and your spouse agree on custody, support, division of assets, and there are no complex pensions, hidden debts, or safety concerns. However, you should only handle paperwork and court filings yourself only if you can stay objective and follow Nassau County or Suffolk County Supreme Court rules. If any disputes, significant assets, business interests, or child welfare are at stake, I recommend hiring an experienced attorney to protect your rights and your future.
“Annemarie Lanni represented me and I could not have asked for a better experience. Annemarie is exactly what you hope for in a lawyer and makes the best possible experience out of a bad situation. Annemarie takes the time and effort to fully understand your position and goals and then uses her expertise to devise a strategy that works perfectly for you. She is a great listener and someone you can really trust. I would recommend Annemarie to anyone.”
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Frequently Asked Questions About DIY Divorce
Q: When is a DIY divorce on Long Island, NY a practical option?
A: A DIY divorce can work when both spouses agree on all major issues, there are no minor children or both parents have a clear, workable parenting plan, assets are few and simple (bank accounts, one car, no pensions or businesses), debts are minimal and undisputed, and neither party needs emergency court orders. If you can draft a clear written agreement covering division of property, debts, support, and custody/visitation (if any), and both you and your spouse will sign the required court forms, an uncontested, pro se filing is potentially feasible.
Q: What basic steps and paperwork are involved in filing a DIY divorce on Long Island, NY?
A: You must file a divorce case in the Supreme Court of the county where either spouse lives (Nassau or Suffolk). Typical steps: prepare and file the summons and complaint (or summons with notice), serve the other spouse with proper proof of service, exchange required financial disclosure (income, assets, debts), negotiate and sign a written settlement agreement, submit the agreement and the necessary court forms for an uncontested judgment of divorce, and pay filing fees. County clerk offices and the court website provide local filing rules and form checklists. If custody/support are involved, include a parenting plan and child support worksheet.
Q: Which financial issues are safe to handle without a lawyer?
A: You can handle division of simple bank accounts, a single jointly titled vehicle, household items, and straightforward debt splits when both parties agree. Simple spousal support arrangements for short marriages where amounts and duration are mutually acceptable, and uncomplicated child support calculated using the state guideline, can be handled pro se if fully documented. The key is full, honest financial disclosure and a clear written settlement that both parties sign and file with the court.
Q: What financial and asset situations should push you to hire an attorney?
A: Hire an experienced Long Island divorce lawyer if there are business interests, pensions, stock options, multiple real estate properties or mortgage issues, complex investments, significant retirement accounts, concealed or disputed assets, substantial debts, or complex tax consequences. These situations require valuation, tax analysis, enforcement tools and negotiation experience to avoid giving up value or assuming unexpected liabilities.
Q: Can parents handle custody and child support in a DIY divorce on Long Island, NY?
A: Yes, if parents communicate well, can draft a detailed parenting plan addressing legal and physical custody, visitation schedules, decision-making, school and medical arrangements, and a child support agreement based on New York guidelines. The court will review agreements to protect the child’s best interests. If there is high conflict, allegations of abuse, relocation plans, or uncertainty about the child’s needs, you should involve an attorney or child custody specialist to protect parental rights and the child’s welfare.
Q: When is legal help needed for spousal support (maintenance) issues?
A: Legal help is advisable when the marriage was long, one spouse has significantly higher earning capacity, there are career sacrifices or health issues, or parties disagree on the amount and duration of maintenance. An attorney can calculate presumptive maintenance, negotiate lump-sum versus periodic payments, consider tax and retirement impacts, and draft enforceable terms. If enforcement, modification, or temporary support hearings are likely, an experienced divorce lawyer is strongly recommended.
Q: What other circumstances on Long Island mean you should consult a lawyer rather than proceed with a DIY divorce?
A: Consult an attorney if there’s domestic violence or active orders of protection, emergency relief is needed, the case will be contested, discovery disputes or subpoenas are likely, enforcement or post-judgment modifications may be required, or one spouse is uncooperative or represented. Consider limited-scope (unbundled) representation or mediation/arbitration as cost-controlled alternatives to full representation for discrete tasks like drafting agreements, reviewing settlements, or representing you at a single hearing.
About the Author
Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., Founding Partner, Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.
- Over 20 years practicing matrimonial law
- Over 1,000 cases successfully resolved
- Founder and Partner of Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.
- Experienced and compassionate Long Island Divorce Attorney, Family Law Attorney, and Divorce Mediator
- Licensed to practice law in the State of New York
- New York State Bar Association member
- Nassau County Bar Association member
- Suffolk County Bar Association member
- “Super Lawyer” Metro Rising Star
- Nominated Best of Long Island Divorce Attorney four consecutive years
- Alternative Dispute Resolution Committee Contributor
- Collaborative Law Association of New York – Former Director
- Martindale Hubbell Distinguished Designation
- America’s Most Honored Professionals – Top 5%
- Lead Counsel Rated – Divorce Law
- American Institute of Family Law Attorneys 10 Best
- International Academy of Collaborative Professionals
- Graduate of Hofstra University School of Law
- Double Bachelor’s degrees in Philosophy, Politics & Law and History from SUNY Binghamton University
- Full Robert E. Hornberger, Esq. Bio
