The process of getting divorced is emotionally difficult no matter which side you’re on. It doesn’t matter if it was  your decision or your spouse’s, it’s always traumatic to end what you thought in your heart would be a lifetime together. The stress of dissolving your marriage can have lasting psychological effects for anyone and in some cases may lead to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Here’s what you should be aware of, how to cope with post-divorce stress, and what an experienced Long Island, NY divorce lawyer can do to help you. 

The Common Psychological Effects of Divorce

Divorce is usually an extremely stressful and emotional life event for everyone involved, and the psychological effects can be far-reaching depending on the circumstances surrounding the divorce. For example, it’s common for either or both spouses to feel overwhelmed, sad, confused, helpless, ashamed, and embarrassed. 

There may also be a sense of relief or the lifting of a burden. Many people struggle with changes in self-identity, particularly people who were married young and/or have been married for a significant amount of time prior to their divorce. 

How Divorce Can Lead To PTSD

PTSD, or post-traumatic stress disorder, is a serious mental health condition that typically comes about after a person is exposed to a traumatic event, including experiences such as natural disasters, the death of someone close, a car accident, or an abusive family dynamic. This condition goes beyond the normal feelings of sadness or frustration after getting a divorce and can cause significant impairment in daily living. 

Several factors can increase the risk of developing PTSD after a divorce, including but not limited to: 

• If the divorce was unexpected or came as a complete shock
• If there was infidelity involved
• If there was physical or emotional abuse during the marriage
• If custody arrangements are disputed and/or child visitation is limited
• If parental alienation occurs

Signs & Symptoms of PTSD After Divorce

PTSD symptoms can vary widely between people from person to person and may come about at different times. For some, symptoms may appear immediately after the divorce. For others, these symptoms may not emerge until months or even years later. This can include: 

• Intrusive thoughts or memories of the divorce 
• Replaying events over in your mind
• Avoiding anything that reminds you of the divorce
• Negative changes in mood and thinking 
• Feeling hopeless about the future
• Having difficulty concentrating
• Changes in physical and emotional reactions 
• Irritability 
• Insomnia

Coping With Post-Divorce PTSD

While PTSD after a divorce is challenging, there are several healthy coping mechanisms that can help you manage its effects.

First, it’s important to give yourself time to grieve the loss of your marriage. This means allowing yourself to feel sad, angry, and scared. You should also consider talking about your feelings with family and friends who can offer support and understanding.

It’s also crucial to take care of yourself physically, including eating well, getting enough sleep, and exercising regularly. These help regulate your nervous system, which in turn gives you more endurance to handle emotional stress too. 

You can also find ways to express yourself creatively, like painting, writing, or playing music. Doing things that make you feel good or creating something beautiful can help you cope with stress and improve your self-esteem.

When To Seek Professional Support 

If you are struggling to cope with post-divorce PTSD on your own, it may be helpful to seek professional help from a therapist or counselor. Experienced professional therapists can provide support and guidance as you work through challenges and help you develop healthy coping mechanisms to deal with triggers in positive ways. In some cases, medication may also be recommended by a doctor or therapist to manage the physical symptoms of PTSD, like anxiety or depression.

How A Competent Long Island, NY Divorce Attorney Can Help

An experienced Long Island, NY divorce attorney can be an invaluable asset when going through a divorce, especially if there are children involved. Your lawyer can help you navigate the legal process and minimize some of the stress of paperwork or dealing with your spouse’s attorneys, so you can focus on taking care of yourself and building new opportunities for your future. They can also provide guidance on how to deal with custody and visitation issues, property division, and other important matters. Contact Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. today for more information or to schedule a consultation to discuss your divorce options and start getting the help you need. Call now by dialing 631-923-1910 or fill out the short form on this page.

In a 2015 study conducted by the American Sociological Association (ACA), researchers found that 69 percent of all opposite-sex divorces are initiated by women. This leaves only 31 percent of men being the ones to take the initiative to end their marriages. Below, we take a look at how men are impacted when their spouses file for divorce and how an experienced Long Island, NY divorce lawyer can help you navigate the process of dissolving your marital union.

The Financial Impact of Getting a Divorce on Men

While it’s true that women are more likely to file for divorce than men, men are more likely to suffer greater economic hardship as a result of divorce. According to Bloomberg, the average standard of living for an older man after a divorce decreases by a shocking 21 percent.

There are several reasons why men tend to suffer greater economic hardship after a divorce. First, men are generally less likely than women to receive custody of their children after a divorce, and so they may have to pay child support payments which can put a strain their finances. They may also have to pay alimony or spousal support to their wives, which can decrease their income further and possibly even elevate their ex’s standard of living above their own.

It’s also worth noting that divorced men are also less likely to remarry than divorced women, meaning that they often have to shoulder the financial burden of single parenthood alone.

The Emotional Impact of Divorce

The emotional impact of divorce on all involved is not to be underestimated. For men, who are traditionally told they must control or hide their feelings and who aren’t encouraged to process them in healthy ways, this can be particularly daunting.

Understand that getting a divorce can be emotionally and mentally draining, and it’s not uncommon for men to feel angry, depressed, or even helpless during this time, particularly if they did not initiate the divorce. Men should seek out support from friends, family, or even a therapist if needed. Men need to remember that divorce does not define who they are as a person, and they can still be a good father, husband, and friend after the divorce.

How Men Can Re-build Their Lives After a Divorce

Many men feel lost and uncertain of their place in the world when their wife files for divorce. While this is an extremely emotionally charged time as mentioned above, it’s also an opportunity to start fresh and build a new life.

You can start by taking some time for yourself to relax and recharge. This may mean taking a vacation, getting involved in hobbies or activities that you enjoy, or simply taking some time each day to do something that you find calming or fun.

You should also make an effort to build some camaraderie between yourself and people who are going through something similar. There are often groups or communities available to help those going through a divorce, whether online or in person. These can provide valuable support and assistance as you navigate this new phase of your life, especially if you don’t feel ready to talk about this huge step with your friends or family in real life.

Now is a great time to make positive changes in your life that will benefit you in the long run, like eating healthier, exercising more, taking up meditation, or making other lifestyle changes. Try to focus on the future and what lies ahead, which may mean setting goals for yourself, planning fun experiences, or simply looking forward to the next day, week, or month.

Get Legal Help with Your New York Divorce Today

The decision of when to consult a divorce lawyer can be a difficult one. Working with an attorney can be expensive and stressful, especially for men who are already struggling with a lower standard of living, but having a lawyer on your side can have many worthwhile benefits, including financial and emotional.

You can increase your chances of receiving a favorable settlement the sooner you contact a professional who can help you. The process of divorce is never easy, but with the help of an experienced divorce lawyer, it can be much less stressful and more manageable.

Contact Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. today to learn more about the impact of divorce on men or to set up a time to speak with one of our experienced family attorneys by calling 631-923-1910 or filling out the short form on this page.

Deciding whether to rent or buy a house after a divorce on Long Island, NY can be a difficult one. There are many, many factors to consider, but some of the most important include your financial situation and whether or not you have children. Here’s what to know about the pros and cons of both renting and buying a house after a divorce and how an experienced Long Island, NY divorce attorney can help you make the right decision.

Things To Consider First Before Buying or Renting on Long Island, NY

Whether or not you should rent or buy following a divorce on Long Island, NY depends on a lot of different things, like how much money you have saved and what your current income is, if you have custody of your children or will be having visitation with them, and what the housing market is in your area and what that means for availability of houses within your price range.

If you have children, renting a small apartment may not be a good option, since you will need to have enough space for each child to sleep, study, and play. But if you plan on relocating any time soon, buying a house may also be less than ideal. If your children are grown and no longer living with you, renting a studio could be a great way to save money after your divorce.

Pros & Cons of Renting a House After Divorce

Renting is a great option for many divorcees, especially those who need the flexibility to move if their job situation changes or if they decide to relocate for any other reason. Another benefit of renting versus buying is that in an apartment or rental home, you don’t have to worry about maintenance and repairs – those are the landlord’s responsibility. This provides you with some security and stability in your monthly budget that homeownership does not provide.

Also, renting usually requires less of a financial investment than buying a home, so it may be a good option if you’re unsure about your long-term plans or if you’re still recovering financially from the divorce itself.

Of course, there are also some downsides to renting after a divorce. For one thing, you’ll likely have less space and fewer amenities than you would if you owned your own home. Additionally, rent can go up over time, which means that you could end up paying more in the long run than you would if you’d bought a house. It’s also important to note that as a renter, you’ll never build any equity in your property and the money you spend on rent won’t amount to anything if and when you decide to move.

Pros & Cons of Buying a Home After Divorce

One of the biggest pros of buying a house after a divorce is that you’ll have more control over your living situation. When you own your own home, you can make changes as you see fit and don’t have to worry about getting permission from a landlord. You also won’t have to worry about things like unexpected rent increases. If you have children, owning your own home can also give you more stability and allow them to stay in the same school district.

Furthermore, purchasing a home after a divorce can help you build credit and improve your financial situation in the long run, provided you pay your mortgage on time. If you buy wisely, your home could go up in value over time, giving you equity that you can tap into later on down the road.

On the other hand, buying a house after a divorce can be expensive. Not only do you have to come up with a down payment, but you also have to pay closing costs, real estate taxes, and other fees. If you’re not careful, these costs can add up quickly and put a strain on your finances and if the housing market is weak, you may also end up losing money on your investment.

What an Experienced New York Attorney Can Do to Help Your Post-Divorce Living Situation

If you’re getting a divorce and are unsure of whether or not you should rent or buy your next home, a qualified Long Island divorce lawyer can help you navigate the challenges and obstacles up ahead. At Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C., we can give you the support and legal advice needed to make the best decisions for your post-divorce housing.

Contact our office today for more information or to book a free initial consultation by calling 631-923-1910 or filling in the short form on this page. We’ve been proudly serving Nassau and Suffolk counties in New York and surrounding

No one gets married expecting to get divorced, but unfortunately, it happens. If you find yourself in this situation, it can be difficult to know how to handle it, especially when it comes to your career. In some cases, the stigma of being divorced and the distractions of getting divorced can have a severe impact on your employment. Add to this the increased costs and responsibilities of being a single parent and how that impacts your available time for your job and you soon you’re your divorce is having a negative impact on your career. Below, we take a look at the potential impacts of divorce on your career and how to navigate these issues to increase your chances of coming out ahead.

The Stigma of Being a Divorced Employee in New York

The stigma of being a divorced employee can be significant. In some cases, it may lead to discrimination in the workplace. In other cases, it may simply make it more difficult to advance in your career.

There are several reasons why this stigma exists. Often, many people perceive divorce as an indicator of personal failings. This is especially true if the divorce was acrimonious or if there was infidelity involved. Employers often think that divorcing employees will experience personal problems that could affect their work performance or have difficulty balancing work and family responsibilities.

The impact of stigma can vary depending on the individual situation. In some cases, it may simply make it more difficult to find a job or to be promoted if your employer knows of your divorce or you have to take time off to deal with the various legal issues involved. In other cases, it may result in actual discrimination in the workplace.

While this is against the law, it may be difficult to prove an employer retaliated against you for your divorce status versus legitimate disciplinary action, particularly in employment-at-will states like New York.

The Difficulty of Juggling Work and Child-Rearing

Divorce can often make it difficult to juggle work and child-rearing responsibilities. This is particularly true if one parent is awarded primary custody and the other parent has limited visitation rights. In such cases, working full-time may simply not be possible. Even if both parents have joint custody, working full-time may still be difficult if one parent lives far away from the children or if there are scheduling conflicts with school and extracurricular activities.

Furthermore, divorce can also make childcare costs and paying child support more burdensome. Most people aren’t getting a raise when they get divorced, but they are taking on new expenses that they didn’t have before, particularly with regard to the need for extra supplies between two households and the cost of daycare or hiring a babysitter when childcare wasn’t needed before.

How Your Finances Are Impacted by Divorce

While the emotional and psychological effects of divorce can be difficult to deal with, the financial impact can be just as devastating. Not only do you have to contend with the legal fees associated with getting a divorce, but you also have to deal with the financial fallout from splitting up your assets. This can often mean having to take on additional debt at a time when you may already be struggling to make ends meet.

Coupling that with child support and the additional costs of child-rearing after divorce can further strain your finances and make it difficult to maintain your standard of living. If you are unable to keep up with your child support payments, you could face serious legal consequences, including jail time.

All of this can have a major impact on your career. If you are unable to meet your financial obligations, it could lead to decreased productivity at work and potentially job loss. Additionally, the stress of dealing with financial problems can take a toll on your mental health, which can adversely affect your ability to perform well at work.

Positive Impacts of Divorce On a Person’s Career

The Opportunity to Start Over

Your divorce will likely be a difficult and emotionally charged experience, but it can also have some positive impacts on your career. In some cases, divorce can provide the motivation you need to prove yourself at work. If you have been a stay-at-home parent or working in a lower-paying job during your marriage, getting divorced can allow you to start over professionally. Divorce can also give you the chance to pursue new opportunities and make positive changes in your career.

Recharging Your Batteries

Although taking time off work during a divorce can have some negative consequences, it can also allow you to focus on your personal life and family. This break from work can help you recharge and come back refreshed and motivated. If you use this time wisely, you may also be able to network with other professionals in your field or take classes to improve your skill set.

Contact an Experienced Long Island, NY Divorce Attorney Today

Going through a divorce is a difficult process that can have an impact on every aspect of your life, including your career. There may be both negative consequences and positive outcomes, like incurring extra expenses but being able to take time for yourself. Contact Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. for a free consultation and case evaluation at 631-923-1910 or fill out the short form on this page.

When getting a divorce, your spouse has the opportunity to use text messages sent to them in private against you to control the situation or obtain some type of benefit, like primary custody of the children or a higher alimony payment. Here’s what to know and how you can protect yourself with the help of a veteran Long Island, NY divorce attorney.

How Text Messages Can Be Used Against You in a Divorce

Unfortunately, your text messages to your spouse may not be as private as you thought they were when you sent them. Text messages can be used in a variety of ways to gain the upper hand or paint you in a negative light, including but not limited to the following:

#1. Proof of Infidelity

If you are having an affair, or are even just suspected of cheating, your text messages could be used as evidence against you in a divorce. Even if your spouse can’t prove that you’ve been unfaithful, simply the suspicion of infidelity can be enough to damage your relationship and give your spouse an advantage during the divorce.

#2. Evidence of Financial Fraud

Text messages can also be used to suggest you may be committing financial fraud against your spouse. For example, if you are hiding assets or income from your spouse, or if you are spending marital funds without your spouse’s knowledge, your texts could provide clues to support these allegations.

#3. Indicators of Other Misconduct

In addition to infidelity and financial wrongdoing, text messages can also be used to allege other forms of misconduct. Your spouse may accuse you of engaging in illegal activity or domestic violence, and your text messages could unintentionally support these allegations. Your spouse may even set you up to say something specific so they can take a screenshot of it for later use against you.

How To Protect Yourself from Unwanted Use of Your Texts

If you are concerned about your text messages being to harm you during your divorce, there are some steps you can take to protect yourself:

#1. Keep Your Text Messages Secure

Password-protect your phone and only give the password to trusted family and friends, if you give it to anyone at all. You should also avoid storing sensitive information in your text messages, such as financial records or details of a meeting with someone. If possible, you should encrypt your text messages so that they can only be read by the intended recipient.

#2. Avoid Sending Potentially Damaging Messages

Be careful about what you say in your text messages and be aware that your words can be used against you before you click send. Avoid writing explicit or romantic messages that would prove a romantic connection and don’t text anyone anything about your finances or income. Don’t send threatening or abusive messages or even messages that could be interpreted that way, since these can be used to support claims of domestic violence.

#3. Keep Records of Everything You Send and Receive

Keep records of all the texts you send and receive from your spouse in case you are accused of something you didn’t do or in case your spouse says or does something you need to prove in court. Take screenshots of any potentially damaging messages before deleting them, and don’t delete any of your messages. If there’s anything that could be manipulated against you, it’s usually best to just be upfront about it.

#4. Contact a Long Island, NY Family Law Firm For Help With Your Divorce

If you suspect your spouse may use your text messages against you, you must seek legal advice from an experienced divorce attorney as soon as possible. They will be able to advise you on how best to protect yourself and ensure that your rights and best interests are advocated for throughout the process of dissolving your marriage.

Reach Out to Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. Today

Understanding how text messages can be used to harm you in a divorce can help you take the necessary steps to protect yourself. If you have any questions or concerns, reach out to Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. today for help. Our veteran Long Island, New York family lawyers have the experience and expertise needed to provide you with zealous, comprehensive family legal representation when you need it most. Call now for a consultation to discuss the details of your case at 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form on this page.

When considering a divorce, it’s important to understand how your own personal “attachment style” can impact your relationships with everyone involved in the process, including your  spouse and your lawyer. Attachment styles are formed in early childhood and influence your relationships throughout your entire life. In a Long Island, NY divorce, your attachment style affects the way you interact with your spouse, communicate with your lawyer, and approach conflict resolution.

According to psychologists, most people have one of three different attachment styles — Anxious, Secure, or Avoidant. People with a secure attachment style tend to be more trusting and intimate in their relationships. Those with an anxious attachment style often feel insecure and clingy, while those with an avoidant attachment style may have difficulty forming close attachments.

How your attachment style manifests itself during a divorce can vary depending on the specific situation. However, understanding your own attachment style can help you be prepared for and adjust to the unique challenges that may arise during the divorce process.

The 3 Different Attachment Styles

#1. Secure Attachment

The secure attachment style is characterized by a sense of trust and security in relationships. Individuals with a secure attachment style tend to feel comfortable with intimacy and are able to express their emotions openly. They typically have positive views of themselves and their partners, and they are usually able to weather the ups and downs of relationships.

#2. Anxious Attachment Style

Anxious attachment is characterized by a fear of abandonment or rejection. Individuals with this attachment style may feel insecure in their relationships and may have difficulty trusting their partners. They may also experience anxiety about being separated from their loved ones, and they may be clingy or needy in relationships.

#3. Avoidant Attachment Style

Avoidant attachment is characterized by the avoidance of intimacy and close relationships. Individuals with an avoidant attachment style often view themselves as independent and self-sufficient, and they may have difficulty trusting or getting close to others. They may also keep their emotions bottled up, which can make it difficult for them to connect with others on a deeper level.

How Your Attachment Style Can Impact Your Long Island Divorce

Because individuals with secure attachment styles are more likely to feel confident and secure in themselves, this can be very positive during a difficult divorce process. While these people may still experience some sadness and anxiety during their divorce, they are more likely to handle it in a healthy way. They are also more likely to communicate openly with their ex-partner and work together to reach a fair agreement.

Those with an anxious attachment style, may find the divorce process especially challenging. They tend to be more clingy and dependent in your relationships, which can make it hard to let go. They may also struggle with trust issues, which can make it difficult to communicate with their ex-partner during the divorce process. Changes to child custody arrangements or financial instability that are brought on by a divorce may be particularly difficult for them.

People with avoidant attachment styles tend to be more independent and self-reliant in relationships. They are more likely to have difficulty trusting others and may find it hard to open up emotionally. This can make the divorce process harder for them, since they may not want to rely on anyone for support. They may also find it difficult to communicate with their ex-partner about important decisions like child custody or financial arrangements.

Regardless of which attachment style you have, understanding its strengths and weaknesses and how it impacts your relationships can help you get through your divorce with less mess, less time, and less money. For example, if you know you have an anxious attachment style, you can put extra support measures in place before you announce your interest in separating. Or, people with avoidant attachment styles can make notes to check in with important people like their divorce attorney.

Should You Call a Long Island, NY Divorce Lawyer?

If you’re going through a divorce on Long Island, NY, it’s important to understand how your attachment style can impact the process. If you have any questions or need help navigating the issue of divorce, Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. can help. We have extensive experience representing clients in divorce and other family legal cases and have the skills and expertise necessary to offer you comprehensive legal advocacy that you can rely on.

Reach out to us today to schedule a consultation to learn more or to get started by dialing 631-923-1910 or fill out the short form on this page. Our team of legal professionals are available now to take your call.