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How Wealth Impacts Divorce Rates in NY: What You Need to Know

How Wealth Impacts Divorce Rates in NY: What You Need to Know

How Wealth Impacts Divorce Rates in NY: What You Need to Know

Did you know that how much money you and your spouse earn can play a significant role in whether you will get a divorce in the future? Financial difficulties are often one of the largest causes of disagreements in relationships, so it stands to reason that money could impact the divorce rates on Long Island, NY.

Below, we take a look at both the challenges low-income people experience when getting a divorce as well as the problems faced by wealthy couples. You will also learn how you can get qualified legal help with your New York divorce no matter which group you find yourself in.

How Divorce Rates Are Influenced by Economic Factors

Money influences many things in a marriage, including whether or not there even is a marriage. Wealthy and low-income people experience different rates of divorce, but the statistics might not be what you think.

According to Duke University Press, the predicted divorce rate for couples with a net worth of $0 is 5.1%. This rate goes down to 3.8% when the net worth increases to $20,000 and 1.8% when net worth is above $300,000. This appears to suggest that the more money you have, the less likely you are to get a divorce.

Problems Divorcing Couples Experience Based on Their Economic Status

Economic standing also impacts the individual challenges that couples who want to end their marriages will face. Even though wealthy couples are less likely to divorce, that doesn’t mean that they will also have an easier time ending their marriage. Both low-income and wealthy people have unique hardships that can arise when getting a divorce.

Problems Wealthy People Face

Most of the time, the struggles that wealthy couples experience during divorce are related to money and assets. Many affluent couples will disagree about who gets what once the divorce is finalized, which can lead to a long and expensive court battle where neither party feels like they successfully got what they wanted. The most common issues wealthy people deal with during their divorces include:

Disputes about asset division

Going through the process of dividing assets when you have a lot of them can be painstakingly difficult. This might seem like it’s not a bad problem to have, but sorting through things like property valuation and intricate financial arrangements requires meticulous attention. This adds time and cost to your divorce.

High legal fees

Complex divorces take time and require specific legal expertise. Couples going through a high net worth separation often pay higher legal fees than couples who don’t have a lot of money or assets to divide.

Public scrutiny about the divorce

Many wealthy couples who are well known in their communities may also face the added problem of public scrutiny. High-profile divorces can become fodder for tabloids and gossip magazines, making an already difficult situation that much harder to navigate.

Problems Low-Income Couples Have

Couples in poverty also have hurdles to clear in a divorce. Some of these, like child custody, are no different from what rich couples have to deal with. Other problems are unique to the experience of financial hardship, like:

Affording quality legal representation

The cost of legal representation in a divorce can be a significant barrier for low-income people. Many families experience financial strain due to mounting legal fees and may have difficulty navigating the family court system and obtaining a fair settlement.

Housing insecurity

People in poverty who are getting a divorce often face the challenge of obtaining new housing. They may not be able to afford the high costs of moving out, like putting a deposit on an apartment or buying new furniture and cookware.

Meeting alimony and child support obligations

While parents have a responsibility to financially support their children, this can be made more difficult when incoming resources are low. The same is true of alimony, but nonpayment can put you at risk of court action. This leads to ongoing legal battles and continued financial instability.

Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. Are Your Affordable Long Island, NY Divorce Partners

Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. understand that each divorce is different. Whether you have a high net worth or are struggling to make ends meet, you deserve affordable, qualified legal representation for your divorce.

Contact us to learn more about your legal options or to book your free initial consultation to discuss your case in detail. Call now at 631-923-1910 or complete our short contact form and we’ll get in touch with you.

GET YOUR FREE CONSULTATION TODAY
Call 631-923-1910 or fill in the form below

Rob Christine edit

Get your complimentary consultation and case evaluation with our experienced attorneys today.

Your attorney will describe the many options available and determine together which is the right solution for you. By the end of this  conversation, we’ll all understand how we can best help you to move forward.

No Cost or Obligation

There is no cost or obligation for this initial consultation. It is simply an opportunity for us to get to know each other, answer your questions and learn if Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. is right the right law firm for you. Give us a call at 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form below for your free consultation and case evaluation.

All Fields Are Required

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About the Author

Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., Founding Partner, Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.

  • Over 20 years practicing matrimonial law
  • Over 1,000 cases successfully resolved
  • Founder and Partner of Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.
  • Experienced and compassionate Long Island Divorce Attorney, Family Law Attorney, and Divorce Mediator
  • Licensed to practice law in the State of New York
  • New York State Bar Association member
  • Nassau County Bar Association member
  • Suffolk County Bar Association member
  • “Super Lawyer” Metro Rising Star
  • Nominated Best of Long Island Divorce Attorney four consecutive years
  • Alternative Dispute Resolution Committee Contributor
  • Collaborative Law Association of New York – Former Director
  • Martindale Hubbell Distinguished Designation
  • America’s Most Honored Professionals – Top 5%
  • Lead Counsel Rated – Divorce Law
  • American Institute of Family Law Attorneys 10 Best
  • International Academy of Collaborative Professionals
  • Graduate of Hofstra University School of Law
  • Double Bachelor’s degrees in Philosophy, Politics & Law and History from SUNY Binghamton University
Divorce Lawyer Long Island New York
Melissa Rappa
Melissa Rappa
18:09 08 Feb 24
At one of the hardest and most stressful times of my life, it was so comforting to have a team at Hornberger and Verbitsky who ALWAYS responded in record speed to my questions, phone calls, emails or texts and who I felt really cared about helping me through this difficult time. It was a long few years and I am grateful to all of you. Thank you so much Rob, AnneMarie, Christine, Patty, Joan and Lawrence. Your guidance, professionalism and expertise is appreciated beyond measure.
Paul Carmichael
Paul Carmichael
16:21 11 Dec 23
I would give 6 stars if I could. I can't say enough good things about Robert and his firm. We were in a situation for over 2 years and I could have never made it through without Robert's experience and knowledge. He guided me through tough times when needed and his expertise could "read" the situation and make the next best move for me. He was tough when he needed to be tough (thankfully) and at the same time guided me through the process to make me feel comfortable in an uncomfortable situation. I would not want to go through this process without Robert and his team having my back. he helped move the case along and not waste any time or money. One last time, I 100% endorse Robert and his expertise.
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How Rising Inflation Can Affect Your Long Island, NY Divorce

How Rising Inflation Can Affect Your Long Island, NY Divorce

How Rising Inflation Can Affect Your Long Island, NY Divorce

Since the COVID-19 pandemic, the prices of consumer goods have steadily risen to an all-time high. To say we all get sticker shock at the checkout counter is at best an understatement. Social media users are coining the phenomenon the “Silent Depression,” suggesting that the purchasing power of the average citizen has never been lower, yet few seem to be talking about it.

Families dealing with divorce have arguably felt the pinch of inflation the hardest. Those receiving child or spousal support are feeling the strain, while those paying it may be having a harder time paying it. Everyone considering a divorce is wondering how they’re going to afford the legal process. Here’s what to know about how increasing inflation could impact your Long Island, NY divorce and what Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. can do to help.

As Inflation Goes Up, the Value of Your Divorce Settlement Goes Down

When a divorcing couple reaches a settlement agreement, this is usually based on what their finances were at the time they separated. But when inflation rises and the purchasing power of your dollar goes down, so does the value of your divorce settlement and the assets you were awarded.

If you’re currently negotiating a settlement with your spouse or plan to do so in the future, be sure to account for inflation and the potential reduction of your settlement value years from now before reaching an agreement.

You Could Have Trouble Making Alimony or Child Support Payments

Even though the price of housing, fuel, and groceries have risen exponentially, your wages may have remained stagnant for years. This means that your money doesn’t go as far as it used to and you may find yourself having to make sacrifices just to keep food on the table for you and your children.

If you struggle to make child or spousal support payments during this time, you’re not alone. Many divorced spouses and single parents are having a hard time keeping rent and utilities paid and there’s just not enough money left over for support. But it’s risky business to miss court-ordered payments – you could be held in contempt of court or have your wages garnished if you do.

You’ll Pay More for a New Home

The cost of housing post-pandemic is higher than it ever has been, with mediocre and damaged homes going for upwards of $300,000 or even half a million dollars in some popular locations. As dodgy landlords let properties fall into disrepair to artificially impact supply and demand, livable homes become more and more unaffordable.

If you plan on buying or renting a home after your divorce, you could have a lot more difficulty than you did when you first got married. You may want to consider staying with another family member or having roommates to offset the radically high cost of living, at least temporarily until you can get more resources.

You May Take on Debt After Your Divorce

Affording expensive divorce litigation when the economy is already in shambles is no small feat. Many families take out loans or credit cards to help them manage the costs of dissolving their marriages, but this unfortunately leaves people in a lot of debt once the divorce is finalized.

In fact, Debt.com reports that as many as 59% of spouses owed money after their divorces. Here’s how that number breaks down:

  • 37% of respondents took on < $1,000 of debt
  • 22% of respondents took on $1,000 to $5,000 of debt
  • 18% of respondents took on $5,000 to $10,000 of debt
  • 11% of respondents took on $10,000 to $15,000 of debt
  • 12% of respondents took on $15,000 to $20,000 of debt

Unless you have a lot of money put back in savings to afford your divorce, chances are you’ll need to borrow to be able to finalize your divorce, particularly if it’s a contested or contentious divorce. If that happens, make sure you factor this into your settlement and make sure you’re getting enough to compensate for the payments you’ll need to make on your divorce debt.

How Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. Can Help Control Inflation’s Effect on Your Divorce

At Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C., our experienced legal team understands the ins and outs of how inflation can affect a divorce and we’re here to help guide you through the process of dissolving your marriage successfully. Contact us today for a free initial consultation and case evaluation to discuss your case by dialing 631-923-1910 or by sending us a quick message online through the short form on this page.

GET YOUR FREE CONSULTATION TODAY
Call 631-923-1910 or fill in the form below

Rob Christine edit

Get your complimentary consultation and case evaluation with our experienced attorneys today.

Your attorney will describe the many options available and determine together which is the right solution for you. By the end of this  conversation, we’ll all understand how we can best help you to move forward.

No Cost or Obligation

There is no cost or obligation for this initial consultation. It is simply an opportunity for us to get to know each other, answer your questions and learn if Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. is right the right law firm for you. Give us a call at 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form below for your free consultation and case evaluation.

All Fields Are Required

* indicates required

About the Author

Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., Founding Partner, Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.

  • Over 20 years practicing matrimonial law
  • Over 1,000 cases successfully resolved
  • Founder and Partner of Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.
  • Experienced and compassionate Long Island Divorce Attorney, Family Law Attorney, and Divorce Mediator
  • Licensed to practice law in the State of New York
  • New York State Bar Association member
  • Nassau County Bar Association member
  • Suffolk County Bar Association member
  • “Super Lawyer” Metro Rising Star
  • Nominated Best of Long Island Divorce Attorney four consecutive years
  • Alternative Dispute Resolution Committee Contributor
  • Collaborative Law Association of New York – Former Director
  • Martindale Hubbell Distinguished Designation
  • America’s Most Honored Professionals – Top 5%
  • Lead Counsel Rated – Divorce Law
  • American Institute of Family Law Attorneys 10 Best
  • International Academy of Collaborative Professionals
  • Graduate of Hofstra University School of Law
  • Double Bachelor’s degrees in Philosophy, Politics & Law and History from SUNY Binghamton University
Divorce Lawyer Long Island New York
Melissa Rappa
Melissa Rappa
18:09 08 Feb 24
At one of the hardest and most stressful times of my life, it was so comforting to have a team at Hornberger and Verbitsky who ALWAYS responded in record speed to my questions, phone calls, emails or texts and who I felt really cared about helping me through this difficult time. It was a long few years and I am grateful to all of you. Thank you so much Rob, AnneMarie, Christine, Patty, Joan and Lawrence. Your guidance, professionalism and expertise is appreciated beyond measure.
Paul Carmichael
Paul Carmichael
16:21 11 Dec 23
I would give 6 stars if I could. I can't say enough good things about Robert and his firm. We were in a situation for over 2 years and I could have never made it through without Robert's experience and knowledge. He guided me through tough times when needed and his expertise could "read" the situation and make the next best move for me. He was tough when he needed to be tough (thankfully) and at the same time guided me through the process to make me feel comfortable in an uncomfortable situation. I would not want to go through this process without Robert and his team having my back. he helped move the case along and not waste any time or money. One last time, I 100% endorse Robert and his expertise.
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Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., P.C. respects your right to privacy. We will never sell your information to any third party. Follow this link to read our full privacy policy.

How to Prioritize Your Divorce Issues on Long Island, NY

How to Prioritize Your Divorce Issues on Long Island, NY

How to Prioritize Your Divorce Issues on Long Island, NY

Navigating a Long Island, NY divorce can be complicated with multiple issues that need your attention, seemingly at the same time. How do you decide which ones are the most important to address first? What are you willing to compromise and what hills are you willing to die on, so to speak?

Making sure your decisions are informed is critical — you often can’t go back and change things and these issues will affect you as you attempt to rebuild your life. Here are some helpful tips on how you can prioritize the most important matters in your divorce and how an experienced divorce lawyer and family law attorney can help.

Look At What Your Children Need

If you have children, consider what they need and the ability of you and your spouse to provide it. Reflecting on your own ability to provide a stable and nurturing environment for your kids can be tough, but the choices you make during the dissolution of your marriage will impact them for the rest of their lives.

Ideally, you’ll be able to communicate openly with your spouse about what’s in their best interest, but if you can’t come to a complete agreement, divorce mediation may be an option that can help if you are still on speaking terms with your spouse. It’s generally agreed that it’s important for children to maintain a meaningful, quality relationship with both their parents after the divorce. Reaching compromises that work for your children is generally less stressful on them than battling it out in court, and

Don’t Forget to Think About Your Needs

When you’re smack in the middle of the emotional turmoil of divorce, it can be hard to remember that your well-being matters just as much as your children’s. And if you don’t have kids, this is a good place to start.

It’s common for people to think that taking care of their own needs during a divorce is selfish, but it’s not — it’s self preservation. Neglecting things like your physical and mental health can make it more difficult to work through the challenges that divorce presents, which usually comes at a cost later on.

You may want to explore therapy or counseling to help you process the grief and emotional challenges that naturally come with getting a divorce. Here are some other things you can do:

  • Invest in your physical wellness. Eat fresh, nutrient-dense foods and listen to your body when it comes to movement and exercise.
  • Sign up for creative classes. Pottery, art, and other creative outlets can help you process your emotions and express them in healthy ways.
  • Read self-help materials you actually enjoy. Take this time to strengthen your weaknesses and learn what you can improve in your relationships going forward.
  • Avoid the post-divorce “party” scene. It’s common for divorcees to hit the bars or become a bit of a club rat after their divorce to numb the pain, but getting caught up in this lifestyle can create new problems, especially if you have kids.

Consider Future Needs Too

Avoid making the mistake of failing to plan for the future when making decisions about your divorce now. Even though your immediate concerns might feel overwhelming, it’s important to keep the long-term outcomes of your choices in mind. This perspective can prevent future numerous hardships later on.

For example, when you’re making a demand for alimony or spousal support, think about where you’re likely to be financially in two, three, or even five years from now. Consider how realistic it is for you to get a new job or if you’ll need more education first, so you can set the groundwork for a smoother transition into the next chapter of your life.

Ask a Qualified Long Island, NY Divorce Attorney What Your Options Are

Before you make anything final, it’s in your best interests to check with a qualified Long Island, NY divorce lawyer about your options. There may be things on the table you don’t know about or things that you think are possible but actually aren’t. An experienced attorney can provide tailored advice based on your unique circumstances, so you can approach the divorce process with clarity and confidence.

Contact Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. to Help You Determine Which Issues Are the Most Important in Your Long Island, NY Divorce   

At Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C., our attorneys understand how overwhelming the process of divorce can be, especially if you’re looking at everything from a bird’s eye view. We can help you better understand your legal options and how different choices could affect your future, allowing you to navigate your divorce with knowledge and power.

Contact us today to learn more about how you can prioritize the important matters in your divorce or to schedule a free initial consultation with one of our divorce attorneys by dialing 631-923-1910. We look forward to answering your call. Or, fill in the short form on this page and we’ll get back to you to discuss your case as soon as possible.

GET YOUR FREE CONSULTATION TODAY
Call 631-923-1910 or fill in the form below

Rob Christine edit

Get your complimentary consultation and case evaluation with our experienced attorneys today.

Your attorney will describe the many options available and determine together which is the right solution for you. By the end of this  conversation, we’ll all understand how we can best help you to move forward.

No Cost or Obligation

There is no cost or obligation for this initial consultation. It is simply an opportunity for us to get to know each other, answer your questions and learn if Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. is right the right law firm for you. Give us a call at 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form below for your free consultation and case evaluation.

All Fields Are Required

* indicates required

About the Author

Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., Founding Partner, Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.

  • Over 20 years practicing matrimonial law
  • Over 1,000 cases successfully resolved
  • Founder and Partner of Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.
  • Experienced and compassionate Long Island Divorce Attorney, Family Law Attorney, and Divorce Mediator
  • Licensed to practice law in the State of New York
  • New York State Bar Association member
  • Nassau County Bar Association member
  • Suffolk County Bar Association member
  • “Super Lawyer” Metro Rising Star
  • Nominated Best of Long Island Divorce Attorney four consecutive years
  • Alternative Dispute Resolution Committee Contributor
  • Collaborative Law Association of New York – Former Director
  • Martindale Hubbell Distinguished Designation
  • America’s Most Honored Professionals – Top 5%
  • Lead Counsel Rated – Divorce Law
  • American Institute of Family Law Attorneys 10 Best
  • International Academy of Collaborative Professionals
  • Graduate of Hofstra University School of Law
  • Double Bachelor’s degrees in Philosophy, Politics & Law and History from SUNY Binghamton University
Divorce Lawyer Long Island New York
Melissa Rappa
Melissa Rappa
18:09 08 Feb 24
At one of the hardest and most stressful times of my life, it was so comforting to have a team at Hornberger and Verbitsky who ALWAYS responded in record speed to my questions, phone calls, emails or texts and who I felt really cared about helping me through this difficult time. It was a long few years and I am grateful to all of you. Thank you so much Rob, AnneMarie, Christine, Patty, Joan and Lawrence. Your guidance, professionalism and expertise is appreciated beyond measure.
Paul Carmichael
Paul Carmichael
16:21 11 Dec 23
I would give 6 stars if I could. I can't say enough good things about Robert and his firm. We were in a situation for over 2 years and I could have never made it through without Robert's experience and knowledge. He guided me through tough times when needed and his expertise could "read" the situation and make the next best move for me. He was tough when he needed to be tough (thankfully) and at the same time guided me through the process to make me feel comfortable in an uncomfortable situation. I would not want to go through this process without Robert and his team having my back. he helped move the case along and not waste any time or money. One last time, I 100% endorse Robert and his expertise.
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Child Support & Spousal Maintenance Tools
Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., P.C. respects your right to privacy. We will never sell your information to any third party. Follow this link to read our full privacy policy.

Answer Your Long Island, NY Divorce Petition the Right Way

Answer Your Long Island, NY Divorce Petition the Right Way

Answer Your Long Island, NY Divorce Petition the Right Way

If you were blindsided by your spouse serving you with divorce papers, you might not be sure what to do next or how you should respond. Below, we go over what you need to know and how our Long Island, NY divorce attorneys can help you navigate the process of dissolving your marriage.

Step #1. Note How Long You Have to Answer the Divorce Petition 

In New York, you have a certain amount of time to respond to a divorce petition. If you fail to do so within the specified window, you essentially forfeit your right to contest the divorce terms your spouse has already laid out in the divorce papers.

If you were personally handed your divorce papers by someone like a police officer or a process server, you have 20 days to file your response to the petition. If you received your summons any other way, you have 30 days to file a response.

Step #2. Obtain The Verified Complaint

When you are served, you may receive either a “Summons with Notice” or a “Summons and Verified Complaint.” If you get the latter, you can respond directly to the verified complaint. If you only receive a “Summons with Notice,” you will need to file a “Notice of Appearance and a Demand for Complaint.” This tells the court presiding over your case that you will be submitting your own request for relief and that you want a copy of the verified complaint.

Step #3. Look At the Grounds for Divorce

Once you receive the verified complaint, you have 20 days to answer it. The first thing you want to look for is what your spouse has listed for the grounds for divorce. Even though New York is a no-fault divorce state, the way the laws are written requires a formal reason to be given. The most common is “irreconcilable differences,” which is essentially neither spouse’s fault, or “no fault”.

If you disagree with the grounds for divorce, you can contest it and provide your own account as to why things went south. However, this may or may not be something you want to put your energy into depending on your circumstances. For example, it might not benefit you much to argue fault if your spouse listed irreconcilable differences, unless you have proof that they cheated and there’s a prenuptial agreement that affords you more alimony in the case of infidelity.

Step #4. Admit Or Deny Each Section

Arguably, the most important parts of the verified complaint are the sections in the relief category. These are the issues that will actually impact your life and the lives of your children, if you have them, after the divorce is finalized.

Look for the numbered paragraphs in the complaint that state your name, your spouse’s information, the date you were married, and other basics that you most likely won’t need to contest. Next to these paragraphs, so long as you agree with everything in them, you will write “agree.” Then, there will be paragraphs about how you’ll divide assets, custody, etc.

If you disagree with any of the statements your spouse has made, you’ll write “deny.” You can also write “deny knowledge of” if you don’t know whether or not the claim is true. If you want to challenge any of the claims, you’ll need to file an “Answer and Counterclaim.” This allows you to provide your own claims as to what happened or things your spouse did and they will have 20 days to respond.

You and your spouse may go back and forth for some time before arriving at a point where all of the paragraphs in the verified complaint are agreed upon by both parties. And you may not ever agree, in which case divorce litigation will be necessary to decide the facts and outcome of your case.

Were You Served with a Long Island, NY Divorce Petition? Call Now

If you were served with divorce papers on Long Island, you need to start getting things in order as soon as possible. Don’t wait – there’s only a limited time in which you have to respond.

Veteran New York divorce lawyers Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. can help you understand your rights and fight for a favorable outcome. Call now to schedule your free initial consultation and case evaluation at 631-923-1910 or contact us via our short web form and we’ll get in touch with you as soon as possible.

GET YOUR FREE CONSULTATION TODAY
Call 631-923-1910 or fill in the form below

Rob Christine edit

Get your complimentary consultation and case evaluation with our experienced attorneys today.

Your attorney will describe the many options available and determine together which is the right solution for you. By the end of this  conversation, we’ll all understand how we can best help you to move forward.

No Cost or Obligation

There is no cost or obligation for this initial consultation. It is simply an opportunity for us to get to know each other, answer your questions and learn if Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. is right the right law firm for you. Give us a call at 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form below for your free consultation and case evaluation.

All Fields Are Required

* indicates required

About the Author

Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., Founding Partner, Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.

  • Over 20 years practicing matrimonial law
  • Over 1,000 cases successfully resolved
  • Founder and Partner of Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.
  • Experienced and compassionate Long Island Divorce Attorney, Family Law Attorney, and Divorce Mediator
  • Licensed to practice law in the State of New York
  • New York State Bar Association member
  • Nassau County Bar Association member
  • Suffolk County Bar Association member
  • “Super Lawyer” Metro Rising Star
  • Nominated Best of Long Island Divorce Attorney four consecutive years
  • Alternative Dispute Resolution Committee Contributor
  • Collaborative Law Association of New York – Former Director
  • Martindale Hubbell Distinguished Designation
  • America’s Most Honored Professionals – Top 5%
  • Lead Counsel Rated – Divorce Law
  • American Institute of Family Law Attorneys 10 Best
  • International Academy of Collaborative Professionals
  • Graduate of Hofstra University School of Law
  • Double Bachelor’s degrees in Philosophy, Politics & Law and History from SUNY Binghamton University
Divorce Lawyer Long Island New York
Melissa Rappa
Melissa Rappa
18:09 08 Feb 24
At one of the hardest and most stressful times of my life, it was so comforting to have a team at Hornberger and Verbitsky who ALWAYS responded in record speed to my questions, phone calls, emails or texts and who I felt really cared about helping me through this difficult time. It was a long few years and I am grateful to all of you. Thank you so much Rob, AnneMarie, Christine, Patty, Joan and Lawrence. Your guidance, professionalism and expertise is appreciated beyond measure.
Paul Carmichael
Paul Carmichael
16:21 11 Dec 23
I would give 6 stars if I could. I can't say enough good things about Robert and his firm. We were in a situation for over 2 years and I could have never made it through without Robert's experience and knowledge. He guided me through tough times when needed and his expertise could "read" the situation and make the next best move for me. He was tough when he needed to be tough (thankfully) and at the same time guided me through the process to make me feel comfortable in an uncomfortable situation. I would not want to go through this process without Robert and his team having my back. he helped move the case along and not waste any time or money. One last time, I 100% endorse Robert and his expertise.
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Child Support & Spousal Maintenance Tools
Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., P.C. respects your right to privacy. We will never sell your information to any third party. Follow this link to read our full privacy policy.

How to Talk to Your Adult Kids About Your NY Divorce

How to Talk to Your Adult Kids About Your NY Divorce

How to Talk to Your Adult Kids About Your NY Divorce

Getting a divorce later in life can be particularly challenging, especially when you consider all the additional assets that come with being more established in life. Things like jointly owned property, home businesses, and retirement plans can really complicate a divorce later in life.

With all of these issues, there is unfortunately one thing that often gets put on the back burner during divorces of this sort: talking to adult children about the divorce. Many couples who have already raised their children think that a divorce won’t affect their children since they’re grown and have their own lives. 

But emotions can still run high for your adult children, so it’s important to break the news gently and support them through the process. Here’s how to talk to your older children about your upcoming divorce and where to get qualified legal assistance you can trust. 

Break The News of Your Divorce in a Private Setting 

For many families, it’s tradition to break bad news to other people in public, perhaps over dinner at the person’s favorite restaurant. This supposedly discourages emotional outbursts, but being in public when receiving heartbreaking information can be uncomfortable and frightening. You aren’t guaranteed a calm response either. 

It’s better to give the news of your upcoming divorce to your adult children in a private setting, such as the family home or while on a secluded nature walk. If your kids get emotional or even angry, it’s usually easier to manage when you’re at home or someplace where it’s just you and your family.  

Give Your Children Time to Process the News of Your Divorce

Many older couples getting what’s known as a “gray divorce” don’t expect their children to be as affected as they would be if they were much younger. When adult kids become upset or distraught over their parents’ divorce, many older couples are shocked and unsure what to do next. They often don’t expect a strong reaction since things like child custody, visitation, and financial support aren’t an issue. 

The best thing you can do after giving the news of your divorce to your older children is to give them time to come to terms with it. For them, a fundamental building block of their life and identity is being challenged. 

Even though custody battles won’t be on the table, your child will still need to come to terms with the fact that their parents no longer love each other or want to be together. Don’t expect them to bounce back from the news quickly and try to show compassion if your children are hurt, frustrated, or even very angry. 

Allow Kids to Maintain Whatever Relationship They Want With Your Spouse 

Whether your kids are young or out of the house, it’s best for them to maintain a healthy and meaningful relationship with both of their parents. Avoid talking to them about the divorce or what you think your spouse did “wrong” to end the marriage. Be careful not to influence their thoughts or opinions about the other parent, regardless of how significant those issues are to you or how deeply they impact you. 

This is often a little easier with adult rather than younger children, since you don’t have to facilitate custody and visitation schedules. Your kids can go see their other parent on their own time and can use their own vehicle or public transportation. You won’t have to communicate with your ex about where your children are or when they’ll be brought back, which can help make the divorce process easier. 

Get Qualified Legal Assistance for Your New York Divorce 

If you’re getting a divorce from your spouse later in life, or even if you’re just considering the possibility, it’s in your best interests to reach out for legal help as soon as possible. At Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C., we have the experience to provide you with comprehensive legal representation throughout your divorce process, from having your spouse served with the divorce petition to fighting for the property and spousal support you deserve. 

Call our office today for more information about getting a divorce when you have adult children or to schedule your free initial consultation to discuss the details of your specific case. Contact us now by dialing 631-923-1910 or by filling out the short form on this page. We have the skills and expertise needed to help you navigate the difficult process of dissolving your marriage and will guide you through each step with care, compassion, and experience.

GET YOUR FREE CONSULTATION TODAY
Call 631-923-1910 or fill in the form below

Rob Christine edit

Get your complimentary consultation and case evaluation with our experienced attorneys today.

Your attorney will describe the many options available and determine together which is the right solution for you. By the end of this  conversation, we’ll all understand how we can best help you to move forward.

No Cost or Obligation

There is no cost or obligation for this initial consultation. It is simply an opportunity for us to get to know each other, answer your questions and learn if Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. is right the right law firm for you. Give us a call at 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form below for your free consultation and case evaluation.

All Fields Are Required

* indicates required

About the Author

Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., Founding Partner, Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.

  • Over 20 years practicing matrimonial law
  • Over 1,000 cases successfully resolved
  • Founder and Partner of Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.
  • Experienced and compassionate Long Island Divorce Attorney, Family Law Attorney, and Divorce Mediator
  • Licensed to practice law in the State of New York
  • New York State Bar Association member
  • Nassau County Bar Association member
  • Suffolk County Bar Association member
  • “Super Lawyer” Metro Rising Star
  • Nominated Best of Long Island Divorce Attorney four consecutive years
  • Alternative Dispute Resolution Committee Contributor
  • Collaborative Law Association of New York – Former Director
  • Martindale Hubbell Distinguished Designation
  • America’s Most Honored Professionals – Top 5%
  • Lead Counsel Rated – Divorce Law
  • American Institute of Family Law Attorneys 10 Best
  • International Academy of Collaborative Professionals
  • Graduate of Hofstra University School of Law
  • Double Bachelor’s degrees in Philosophy, Politics & Law and History from SUNY Binghamton University
Divorce Lawyer Long Island New York
Melissa Rappa
Melissa Rappa
18:09 08 Feb 24
At one of the hardest and most stressful times of my life, it was so comforting to have a team at Hornberger and Verbitsky who ALWAYS responded in record speed to my questions, phone calls, emails or texts and who I felt really cared about helping me through this difficult time. It was a long few years and I am grateful to all of you. Thank you so much Rob, AnneMarie, Christine, Patty, Joan and Lawrence. Your guidance, professionalism and expertise is appreciated beyond measure.
Paul Carmichael
Paul Carmichael
16:21 11 Dec 23
I would give 6 stars if I could. I can't say enough good things about Robert and his firm. We were in a situation for over 2 years and I could have never made it through without Robert's experience and knowledge. He guided me through tough times when needed and his expertise could "read" the situation and make the next best move for me. He was tough when he needed to be tough (thankfully) and at the same time guided me through the process to make me feel comfortable in an uncomfortable situation. I would not want to go through this process without Robert and his team having my back. he helped move the case along and not waste any time or money. One last time, I 100% endorse Robert and his expertise.
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4 Ways Your Spouse Can Respond to Divorce Papers in NY

4 Ways Your Spouse Can Respond to Divorce Papers in NY

4 Ways Your Spouse Can Respond to Divorce Papers in NY

When you file for a divorce in the State of New York, your spouse has a few different ways they can respond after you serve them with divorce papers. How they respond directly sets the stage for what’s to come and how the next several months – or in some cases years – will play out. Here are four potential ways your spouse can respond and what you should know and how to prepare:

#1. Spouse Signs & Returns the Paperwork

If your spouse signs and returns your divorce papers, this means they are in agreement with everything listed in the petition and the divorce is uncontested. The agreement then gets sent to a judge for approval and the divorce decree is issued shortly after. This is usually the shortest and least expensive way to get a divorce in New York.

#2. Spouse Suggests Changes

Your spouse may also respond with an alternative agreement for you to review or their attorney may do so on their behalf. This process may go back and forth for some time while you hammer out the details about who gets what with regards to property division, child custody and visitation, and all the other details that need to be resolved to complete your divorce.

One method that is often employed when you and your spouse are on amicable terms, but have disagreements about the details is through divorce mediation. In mediation, you and your spouse work with a neutral, third-party mediator who facilitates communication and helps you arrive at mutually beneficial resolutions.

While it’s possible to negotiate with your spouse on your own without the help of a mediator or family lawyer, it is often not recommended. Emotions are often volatile during this time and it may be difficult for you to talk to your spouse about important issues like alimony or child custody without getting angry or sad. In addition, the details you work out now will affect your life for years and years down the road. One small mistake or omission here can have dramatically negative impact on your life for years to come. It can pay to have an experienced attorney who is looking out for your interests review any agreement before you sign away rights you may not even know you had.

Once you both agree on everything, the petition then goes in front of a judge like in the above scenario. The judge will finalize the divorce and both you and your spouse will be legally bound to its terms.

#3. Spouse Does Nothing

If your spouse doesn’t respond to the divorce petition or file any paperwork in relation to your case, it will be considered an uncontested divorce by default. In most situations, these cases are resolved in favor of the petitioner.

Even when there are children involved, if your spouse fails to respond to the notice of your divorce within 20 days of being properly served, you will likely be awarded physical custody and standard child support.

If you intend to pursue a divorce by default, you will need to prove to the judge presiding over your case that you made every reasonable effort to have your spouse served and that more than likely, they have seen the petition and have no intent to respond.

#4. Spouse Files A Notice of Appearance

The fourth thing your spouse can choose to do in response to being served divorce papers is file a Notice of Appearance. This means they contest one or more issues with the divorce and are requesting a hearing in front of a judge.

When this happens, the court will set the date of your first hearing and both you and your spouse will appear with your respective attorneys. At this stage, your lawyers may still be able to negotiate terms on behalf of you and your spouse to try one last time to avoid litigation.

If this isn’t successful, your case will go to court and each of your legal representatives will make a case on your behalf. Then, a judge makes a final decision that you both must abide by. If you or your spouse fail to adhere to court orders, you may face penalties like fines or possibly even jail time depending on the severity of the circumstances.

When To Contact an Experienced New York Divorce Attorney

If you are considering serving your spouse with divorce papers, it’s important to be aware of your rights and responsibilities before you take that step toward ending your marriage. At Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C., we can help you navigate the process of filing a divorce petition and let you know what to expect at each stage.

Contact our office today to learn more about filing for divorce on Long Island, NY by dialing 631-923-1910 or by completing our quick online form and we’ll get right back to you to schedule an appointment to evaluate your case answer your important questions.

GET YOUR FREE CONSULTATION TODAY
Call 631-923-1910 or fill in the form below

Rob Christine edit

Get your complimentary consultation and case evaluation with our experienced attorneys today.

Your attorney will describe the many options available and determine together which is the right solution for you. By the end of this  conversation, we’ll all understand how we can best help you to move forward.

No Cost or Obligation

There is no cost or obligation for this initial consultation. It is simply an opportunity for us to get to know each other, answer your questions and learn if Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. is right the right law firm for you. Give us a call at 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form below for your free consultation and case evaluation.

All Fields Are Required

* indicates required

About the Author

Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., Founding Partner, Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.

  • Over 20 years practicing matrimonial law
  • Over 1,000 cases successfully resolved
  • Founder and Partner of Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.
  • Experienced and compassionate Long Island Divorce Attorney, Family Law Attorney, and Divorce Mediator
  • Licensed to practice law in the State of New York
  • New York State Bar Association member
  • Nassau County Bar Association member
  • Suffolk County Bar Association member
  • “Super Lawyer” Metro Rising Star
  • Nominated Best of Long Island Divorce Attorney four consecutive years
  • Alternative Dispute Resolution Committee Contributor
  • Collaborative Law Association of New York – Former Director
  • Martindale Hubbell Distinguished Designation
  • America’s Most Honored Professionals – Top 5%
  • Lead Counsel Rated – Divorce Law
  • American Institute of Family Law Attorneys 10 Best
  • International Academy of Collaborative Professionals
  • Graduate of Hofstra University School of Law
  • Double Bachelor’s degrees in Philosophy, Politics & Law and History from SUNY Binghamton University
Divorce Lawyer Long Island New York
Melissa Rappa
Melissa Rappa
18:09 08 Feb 24
At one of the hardest and most stressful times of my life, it was so comforting to have a team at Hornberger and Verbitsky who ALWAYS responded in record speed to my questions, phone calls, emails or texts and who I felt really cared about helping me through this difficult time. It was a long few years and I am grateful to all of you. Thank you so much Rob, AnneMarie, Christine, Patty, Joan and Lawrence. Your guidance, professionalism and expertise is appreciated beyond measure.
Paul Carmichael
Paul Carmichael
16:21 11 Dec 23
I would give 6 stars if I could. I can't say enough good things about Robert and his firm. We were in a situation for over 2 years and I could have never made it through without Robert's experience and knowledge. He guided me through tough times when needed and his expertise could "read" the situation and make the next best move for me. He was tough when he needed to be tough (thankfully) and at the same time guided me through the process to make me feel comfortable in an uncomfortable situation. I would not want to go through this process without Robert and his team having my back. he helped move the case along and not waste any time or money. One last time, I 100% endorse Robert and his expertise.
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Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., P.C. respects your right to privacy. We will never sell your information to any third party. Follow this link to read our full privacy policy.

NY Divorce: How To Buy Out Spouse’s Property

NY Divorce: How To Buy Out Spouse’s Property

NY Divorce: How To Buy Out Spouse’s Property

One of the most significant issues in a divorce is that of property division. And because couples often accumulate more assets the longer their marriage lasts, this is particularly the case when spouses divorce after 20, 30, or even 40 years together.

A popular resolution to the issue of allocating possessions is for one spouse to buy out the other’s shares in their co-owned property. Many people choose to do this when one spouse wants to keep an asset and would rather not sell it to split the proceeds. Here’s what to know and how an experienced Long Island, NY divorce attorney can help.

Offer Your Spouse a Direct Payment

If you have the means to offer your spouse a lump sum payment for their portion of an asset, like a house or car, this is probably the easiest way to settle the matter.

You can also take out a loan for the amount, so you can purchase your spouse’s half of the property outright and pay back your lender over time. This allows you to sever ties completely with your spouse at the time of your divorce, even if you can’t come up with all of the money you would need to make the purchase.

Offer Your Spouse Something in Exchange

Another way to buy your spouse’s share of an asset is to offer them something of equal value in return. This equitable exchange is common in New York divorces, but it does require you to have the ability to communicate with your spouse to iron out the details of the trade.

For example, if you really want the house in your divorce, but your spouse would rather have your vehicles and boat, you could call it an even exchange so long as you both agree to it. Keep in mind that the trade has to be fair on both sides – courts give some leeway to items with great personal significance, but what you offer your spouse can’t be grossly under the value of what you want in return.

Refinance Your Mortgage

If the property you want is a home, you may be able to refinance your mortgage under your name only to purchase your ex’s shares. Whether or not you can do this depends on several factors though, like how much equity you personally have in the property and what your credit score looks like. If you haven’t built enough equity or can’t get approved for a loan, this is unlikely to be a good option for you.

But if you do have good credit and income, and you can get refinanced, you can pay your spouse for their half of the house and own the property yourself. The mortgage will be yours after that and you’ll only have to deal with your lender going forward.

Create a Buyout Agreement

If you don’t have the money to make a direct offer for your spouse’s shares in the property, and if refinancing through a traditional lender isn’t an option, you may be able to create a buyout agreement where you make payments to your spouse over time until you’ve purchased all of their holdings. Usually, this requires you to be on reasonably good terms, since communication and trust are key to making an arrangement like this work.

When To Get in Touch with a Qualified NY Divorce Lawyer

If you are considering a divorce or your spouse has announced to you their intent to divorce, you should consult with an experienced divorce and family law attorney right away. The outcome of your case, including what property you get and whether or not you have custody and visitation of your kids, often depends on how quickly you act and how skilled your legal representation is.

In most situations, the more experienced your attorney, the better your case results are, so it’s important that you work with someone who has what it takes. At Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C., we have the experience and dedication to help you navigate the difficult issues of dividing property during a divorce and will advocate for realistic solutions for you and your family.

Serving all of Long Island, New York and surrounding areas.Contact us today for a consultation by dialing 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form on this page.

GET YOUR FREE CONSULTATION TODAY
Call 631-923-1910 or fill in the form below

Rob Christine edit

Get your complimentary consultation and case evaluation with our experienced attorneys today.

Your attorney will describe the many options available and determine together which is the right solution for you. By the end of this  conversation, we’ll all understand how we can best help you to move forward.

No Cost or Obligation

There is no cost or obligation for this initial consultation. It is simply an opportunity for us to get to know each other, answer your questions and learn if Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. is right the right law firm for you. Give us a call at 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form below for your free consultation and case evaluation.

All Fields Are Required

* indicates required

About the Author

Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., Founding Partner, Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.

  • Over 20 years practicing matrimonial law
  • Over 1,000 cases successfully resolved
  • Founder and Partner of Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.
  • Experienced and compassionate Long Island Divorce Attorney, Family Law Attorney, and Divorce Mediator
  • Licensed to practice law in the State of New York
  • New York State Bar Association member
  • Nassau County Bar Association member
  • Suffolk County Bar Association member
  • “Super Lawyer” Metro Rising Star
  • Nominated Best of Long Island Divorce Attorney four consecutive years
  • Alternative Dispute Resolution Committee Contributor
  • Collaborative Law Association of New York – Former Director
  • Martindale Hubbell Distinguished Designation
  • America’s Most Honored Professionals – Top 5%
  • Lead Counsel Rated – Divorce Law
  • American Institute of Family Law Attorneys 10 Best
  • International Academy of Collaborative Professionals
  • Graduate of Hofstra University School of Law
  • Double Bachelor’s degrees in Philosophy, Politics & Law and History from SUNY Binghamton University
Divorce Lawyer Long Island New York
Melissa Rappa
Melissa Rappa
18:09 08 Feb 24
At one of the hardest and most stressful times of my life, it was so comforting to have a team at Hornberger and Verbitsky who ALWAYS responded in record speed to my questions, phone calls, emails or texts and who I felt really cared about helping me through this difficult time. It was a long few years and I am grateful to all of you. Thank you so much Rob, AnneMarie, Christine, Patty, Joan and Lawrence. Your guidance, professionalism and expertise is appreciated beyond measure.
Paul Carmichael
Paul Carmichael
16:21 11 Dec 23
I would give 6 stars if I could. I can't say enough good things about Robert and his firm. We were in a situation for over 2 years and I could have never made it through without Robert's experience and knowledge. He guided me through tough times when needed and his expertise could "read" the situation and make the next best move for me. He was tough when he needed to be tough (thankfully) and at the same time guided me through the process to make me feel comfortable in an uncomfortable situation. I would not want to go through this process without Robert and his team having my back. he helped move the case along and not waste any time or money. One last time, I 100% endorse Robert and his expertise.
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Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., P.C. respects your right to privacy. We will never sell your information to any third party. Follow this link to read our full privacy policy.

Compassionately Divorcing Someone with Mental Illness on Long Island, NY

Compassionately Divorcing Someone with Mental Illness on Long Island, NY

Compassionately Divorcing Someone with Mental Illness on Long Island, NY

Mental illness is no one’s fault, but it can often make that person difficult to live with and maintain a healthy relationship. Of course, if you love your partner, you will want to help them get the professional help they need to cope with their mental illness. Often, this will help your partner manage their mental illness and may improve your relationship. All too often however, some people refuse to get help or do the work necessary to help resolve or learn to manage their condition. This can make them impossible to live with and may necessitate getting a divorce to protect yourself and your future.

If your spouse is struggling with a mental health condition, and you want to get a divorce, you may feel guilty or even responsible for their wellbeing. Here’s what you can do to separate from your spouse with care and compassion on Long Island, NY.

Ensure Your Spouse Has Professional Support

If they don’t have professional support already, you can help your spouse find a psychiatrist, psychologist, or therapist with whom they are comfortable and motivated to get professional treatment for their mental illness. You may want to wait until this is in place before you give your partner the news so they have someone with whom to work through this likely traumatic event.

Get Professional Support for Yourself, Too

It’s also important to ensure that you have qualified support to help you process your emotions about the divorce. Even if you’re not mentally ill yourself, working with a counselor or even a divorce support group can help you heal from the normal distress that comes along with the end of a meaningful relationship. When your partner is mentally ill, a professional can help you deal with potential feelings of guilt that may be associated with initiating divorce proceedings.

Consider Petitioning for Full Child Custody

If you have children, and your spouse’s mental illness makes it difficult for them to safely care for them, you may want to consider filing for full child custody. You will need to be able to show evidence to make your case, such as medical records or reports of your spouse’s behavior that provide the court with insight into their dynamic with your children.

With time and treatment, the majority of people with mental health conditions can be great parents. However, if you are concerned that your partner is a threat or a danger to your children, it’s critical that you protect them. Some mentally unwell people can be pushed to their breaking point by the demands of being responsible for a child’s welfare.

If you believe your children are unsafe with your spouse, include as much information as possible with your petition. You can request that the court review whether or not your spouse should only have supervised visitation or, in rare cases, if parental rights should be revoked.

Set Clear Boundaries with Your Spouse

If you’re co-parenting with a mentally ill spouse, navigating things like pickups, drop offs, discipline, and healthcare can be extra challenging. It’s important that you have firm boundaries with your spouse about when and where pickups or drop offs will happen, when and how you will communicate with each other, and what types of behavior are unacceptable. Be kind and compassionate, but be clear and firm.

If possible, get these boundaries in writing. A court may be able to help you enforce terms of your child custody or divorce agreement, but can’t provide you with any legal support if you and your spouse only verbally agreed to terms with one another.

Prepare To Pay Alimony

In the event that your spouse’s mental health condition prevents them from becoming gainfully employed, you may be required to pay spousal support for a period of time following the divorce. For spouses who are mentally ill and cannot be expected to provide for themselves at any point in the future, alimony may be permanent.

Document Everything

In addition to gathering whatever evidence you already have, it’s important that you continue to document everything that happens or is said between you and your ex. This is important should you find yourself back in court with your ex and you need evidence to help bolster your argument later on.

For example, your ex-spouse may seem fit to co-parent with you initially, but if their mental health condition regresses, this arrangement may no longer be in the best interests of your child or children. Since the judge has already made a ruling on your ex’s parental rights, you’ll need to request a modification of court orders and show new evidence that these rights should be revoked or modified.

Get Help from a Qualified Long Island, NY Divorce Lawyer

Ending your marriage with someone who struggles emotionally and psychologically is a double-edged sword. You might feel relieved, afraid, and even worried about your ex’s future wellbeing once the divorce is finalized.

But first and foremost, you need to protect the best interests of you and your children. Contact the experienced Long Island, NY divorce attorneys at Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. for more information or to schedule your free initial case consultation by calling 631-923-1910 or fill out the short form on this page and we’ll get back to you ASAP.

GET YOUR FREE CONSULTATION TODAY
Call 631-923-1910 or fill in the form below

Rob Christine edit

Get your complimentary consultation and case evaluation with our experienced attorneys today.

Your attorney will describe the many options available and determine together which is the right solution for you. By the end of this  conversation, we’ll all understand how we can best help you to move forward.

No Cost or Obligation

There is no cost or obligation for this initial consultation. It is simply an opportunity for us to get to know each other, answer your questions and learn if Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. is right the right law firm for you. Give us a call at 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form below for your free consultation and case evaluation.

All Fields Are Required

* indicates required

About the Author

Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., Founding Partner, Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.

  • Over 20 years practicing matrimonial law
  • Over 1,000 cases successfully resolved
  • Founder and Partner of Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.
  • Experienced and compassionate Long Island Divorce Attorney, Family Law Attorney, and Divorce Mediator
  • Licensed to practice law in the State of New York
  • New York State Bar Association member
  • Nassau County Bar Association member
  • Suffolk County Bar Association member
  • “Super Lawyer” Metro Rising Star
  • Nominated Best of Long Island Divorce Attorney four consecutive years
  • Alternative Dispute Resolution Committee Contributor
  • Collaborative Law Association of New York – Former Director
  • Martindale Hubbell Distinguished Designation
  • America’s Most Honored Professionals – Top 5%
  • Lead Counsel Rated – Divorce Law
  • American Institute of Family Law Attorneys 10 Best
  • International Academy of Collaborative Professionals
  • Graduate of Hofstra University School of Law
  • Double Bachelor’s degrees in Philosophy, Politics & Law and History from SUNY Binghamton University
Divorce Lawyer Long Island New York
Melissa Rappa
Melissa Rappa
18:09 08 Feb 24
At one of the hardest and most stressful times of my life, it was so comforting to have a team at Hornberger and Verbitsky who ALWAYS responded in record speed to my questions, phone calls, emails or texts and who I felt really cared about helping me through this difficult time. It was a long few years and I am grateful to all of you. Thank you so much Rob, AnneMarie, Christine, Patty, Joan and Lawrence. Your guidance, professionalism and expertise is appreciated beyond measure.
Paul Carmichael
Paul Carmichael
16:21 11 Dec 23
I would give 6 stars if I could. I can't say enough good things about Robert and his firm. We were in a situation for over 2 years and I could have never made it through without Robert's experience and knowledge. He guided me through tough times when needed and his expertise could "read" the situation and make the next best move for me. He was tough when he needed to be tough (thankfully) and at the same time guided me through the process to make me feel comfortable in an uncomfortable situation. I would not want to go through this process without Robert and his team having my back. he helped move the case along and not waste any time or money. One last time, I 100% endorse Robert and his expertise.
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Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., P.C. respects your right to privacy. We will never sell your information to any third party. Follow this link to read our full privacy policy.

7 Ways to Cope with Loneliness Following Divorce in NY

7 Ways to Cope with Loneliness Following Divorce in NY

7 Ways to Cope with Loneliness Following Divorce in NY

Some of the most difficult aspects of divorce aren’t legal – they’re emotional. One of these is loneliness, especially after a divorce. Adjusting to an emptier home and doing more things alone can be challenging and even heartbreaking at times. Remember, you’re starting a new life; there are going to be growing pains, no matter how much you may have wanted to move on from your old life.

Beginnings can be hard, but here are some ways that can help you manage feelings of loneliness after getting divorced and what a skilled Long Island, NY divorce attorney can do to help with the legal aspects of your split.

#1. Allow Yourself to Grieve

Divorcing isn’t unlike death – you’re grieving the end of something and someone you had, and life won’t ever be the same again. It’s important to allow yourself the time and space to come to terms with the loss of your marriage, your spouse, and perhaps even 100 percent of your children’s attention if you are now sharing custody of them.

Don’t be too hard on yourself if you’re feeling down, especially in the first few weeks and months after the divorce. It’s normal to experience fear, anger, sadness, and frustration after a marriage ends. Instead of pushing these feelings away, try recognizing these emotions within yourself and working through them.

#2. Remember That It Gets Better

Loneliness after divorce can seem far-reaching and never-ending. You may feel like things will never get better than they are now and you don’t know how you will get through it. It is not unlike the feelings after the loss of a loved one. It can feel like you’ll always feel this raw and sad, but this is almost never true. Many people who get divorced often end up in better circumstances than they were before.

In time, the situation you’re in and your feelings about it will shift. What you’re going through now won’t feel as new or intense over the next several weeks, months, and years. It is true that time heals wounds. You’ll gain more coping skills and support resources, along with the experience of using them.

#3. Join a Divorce Support Group

Sometimes, loneliness comes not from being alone but by being surrounded by people who have no idea how to relate to you or vice versa. If you find yourself not really alone but still feeling lonely, you may need some camaraderie with other people who have gone through divorce and know what it’s like.

Try joining a divorce support group online or in person to connect with people who are going through similar issues. This can help you form new friendships with people you have things in common with and who understand where you’re at emotionally.

#4. See a Mental Health Professional

Sometimes, managing post-divorce emotions isn’t something you can do on your own. If feelings of loneliness have kept you from eating, showering, going to work, or completing other basic tasks, it may be time to see a professional.

Different mental health professionals each provide different services, and many divorcees work with more than one to meet their changing needs throughout the process of finalizing their split. If necessary, a psychiatrist can prescribe medication that can help reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression, while a counselor or therapist can help you process your emotions and learn new coping skills.

#5. Try New Things

It’s easy to get trapped in a rut after divorce. You might find it hard to get out and enjoy things you used to, or you may be less motivated to engage in fun or relaxing activities.

But now is a great time to try new things and figure out what you like to do, especially if you’ve been married for a long time. Perhaps there have been things you’ve wanted to do, but your spouse was not interested so you never had a chance to pursue them. Now is your chance.

There may be things that you never thought your could do before, that perhaps now you can. For example, if you’ve never been out to eat at a restaurant alone, you could try making a reservation for your favorite place and taking a book to occupy your time.

#6. Plan Ahead for The Future

You can also help fight feelings of loneliness and sadness after a divorce by planning ahead for the future. Now is the first day of the rest of your life. What do you want that life to look like. Think about things you’d like to do and what resources you’d need to do them to see what’s possible. Planning out your goals and activities can refocus your energy on positive growth and help you avoid falling into a deep depression.

#7. Contact Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. Today

Don’t let the emotional aspects of getting a divorce make the legal process harder. At Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C., our veteran Long Island, NY divorce lawyers can help you navigate the divorce process and will work to negotiate the best outcome possible for you and your family. Contact us today to learn more or to book your free initial divorce consultation by dialing 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form on this page and we’ll get back to you.

 

GET YOUR FREE CONSULTATION TODAY
Call 631-923-1910 or fill in the form below

Rob Christine edit

Get your complimentary consultation and case evaluation with our experienced attorneys today.

Your attorney will describe the many options available and determine together which is the right solution for you. By the end of this  conversation, we’ll all understand how we can best help you to move forward.

No Cost or Obligation

There is no cost or obligation for this initial consultation. It is simply an opportunity for us to get to know each other, answer your questions and learn if Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. is right the right law firm for you. Give us a call at 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form below for your free consultation and case evaluation.

All Fields Are Required

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About the Author

Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., Founding Partner, Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.

  • Over 20 years practicing matrimonial law
  • Over 1,000 cases successfully resolved
  • Founder and Partner of Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.
  • Experienced and compassionate Long Island Divorce Attorney, Family Law Attorney, and Divorce Mediator
  • Licensed to practice law in the State of New York
  • New York State Bar Association member
  • Nassau County Bar Association member
  • Suffolk County Bar Association member
  • “Super Lawyer” Metro Rising Star
  • Nominated Best of Long Island Divorce Attorney four consecutive years
  • Alternative Dispute Resolution Committee Contributor
  • Collaborative Law Association of New York – Former Director
  • Martindale Hubbell Distinguished Designation
  • America’s Most Honored Professionals – Top 5%
  • Lead Counsel Rated – Divorce Law
  • American Institute of Family Law Attorneys 10 Best
  • International Academy of Collaborative Professionals
  • Graduate of Hofstra University School of Law
  • Double Bachelor’s degrees in Philosophy, Politics & Law and History from SUNY Binghamton University
Divorce Lawyer Long Island New York
Melissa Rappa
Melissa Rappa
18:09 08 Feb 24
At one of the hardest and most stressful times of my life, it was so comforting to have a team at Hornberger and Verbitsky who ALWAYS responded in record speed to my questions, phone calls, emails or texts and who I felt really cared about helping me through this difficult time. It was a long few years and I am grateful to all of you. Thank you so much Rob, AnneMarie, Christine, Patty, Joan and Lawrence. Your guidance, professionalism and expertise is appreciated beyond measure.
Paul Carmichael
Paul Carmichael
16:21 11 Dec 23
I would give 6 stars if I could. I can't say enough good things about Robert and his firm. We were in a situation for over 2 years and I could have never made it through without Robert's experience and knowledge. He guided me through tough times when needed and his expertise could "read" the situation and make the next best move for me. He was tough when he needed to be tough (thankfully) and at the same time guided me through the process to make me feel comfortable in an uncomfortable situation. I would not want to go through this process without Robert and his team having my back. he helped move the case along and not waste any time or money. One last time, I 100% endorse Robert and his expertise.
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Signs Your Spouse is Seeking a Divorce on Long Island, NY

Signs Your Spouse is Seeking a Divorce on Long Island, NY

Signs Your Spouse is Seeking a Divorce on Long Island, NY

If you’ve felt a negative shift in your marriage that you can’t quite explain, it might be symptoms of one of many issues in your relationship, or it could also be a signal that your spouse is planning to divorce you. This may or may not come as a shock depending on the previous state of your relationship, but you need to determine if this is the case as soon as possible to protect yourself and your assets.

Without actually confronting your spouse, how can you tell if they’re planning to start divorce proceedings against you? Here are some telltale signs and how to get qualified help to protect yourself when navigating an impending divorce on Long Island, NY.

#1. Your Spouse Has Started to Move Assets

If your spouse suddenly starts to move assets between accounts, open new accounts, or give away large assets as impromptu gifts to friends, this could be a sign that they’re planning on a divorce in their future.

Take note when this happens but consider not revealing that you’re aware of what your spouse is doing. Instead, you may want to document each asset they move and provide this information to an experienced attorney later on. Since New York is an equitable distribution state, all of your marital assets need to be split between you and your spouse in a divorce.

The reason to record these transactions is that, in the event that your spouse is trying to hide assets from you, you will have the documents needed to show what the asset was, its value, and where it was moved from. This can ensure that when it comes to equitable distribution, you get your fair share of the marital assets.

#2. They’re Not Talking to You

If your spouse has reduced their communication with you or has stopped talking to you altogether, this is another indicator that they may consider the relationship already over. This might be a sudden change, or it could be something that slowly develops over time.

If your spouse starts giving you the silent treatment over a long period of time or just seems uninterested in having a conversation with you, take note of when this starts and if it’s accompanied by any other unusual behaviors.

#3. They’re Staying Away from Home Often

Staying away from home often or for extended periods of time may not mean that your spouse is cheating – it could mean any number of things, including that they’re planning on getting a divorce. Of course it could also mean they are cheating AND planning to get divorced. This behavior is also often accompanied by less communication even when they are at home.

Look for signs that your spouse has another residence that they’re going to or that they’ve been staying in a hotel or at a friend’s house instead of coming home. You can confront them about their activity or you can save this information for later if the divorce papers actually come.

If you’re resigned to end the relationship, having your spouse out of the house while you’re getting things together could even be a blessing in disguise.

#4. They’ve Hired a Lawyer

You should also be suspicious if your spouse has hired an attorney but they won’t talk to you about what it’s for. If you receive mail from a lawyer at your house, look up the name of the lawyer and what areas of law they practice. If the attorney specializes in family law, or has family or divorce law as part of the practice, the likelihood that the lawyer is assisting your spouse with preparing for a divorce is much higher.

If you suspect your spouse is planning to start divorce proceeedings, it’s time to start putting together copies of your important documents and opening your own bank account if you don’t already have one in your name. You don’t want to be blindsided by a divorce, especially if your suspect your spouse has taken their time getting everything on their end together.

Make sure you keep these documents in a safe place, ideally one that’s not in your home where your spouse might accidentally come across them.

How Experienced Long Island, NY Divorce Lawyers Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. Can Help

If you think your spouse is considering or moving forward with a divorce on Long Island, NY don’t wait to secure your own legal representation. At Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C., we can provide you with comprehensive and zealous advocacy when you need it most.

Our legal team can help you gather critical documents, understand your rights throughout the divorce process, and argue for an outcome in your favor. Contact our office today for a free initial consultation to learn more by dialing 631-923-1910 or fill out the short form on this page.

GET YOUR FREE CONSULTATION TODAY
Call 631-923-1910 or fill in the form below

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Get your complimentary consultation and case evaluation with our experienced attorneys today.

Your attorney will describe the many options available and determine together which is the right solution for you. By the end of this  conversation, we’ll all understand how we can best help you to move forward.

No Cost or Obligation

There is no cost or obligation for this initial consultation. It is simply an opportunity for us to get to know each other, answer your questions and learn if Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. is right the right law firm for you. Give us a call at 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form below for your free consultation and case evaluation.

All Fields Are Required

* indicates required

About the Author

Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., Founding Partner, Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.

  • Over 20 years practicing matrimonial law
  • Over 1,000 cases successfully resolved
  • Founder and Partner of Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.
  • Experienced and compassionate Long Island Divorce Attorney, Family Law Attorney, and Divorce Mediator
  • Licensed to practice law in the State of New York
  • New York State Bar Association member
  • Nassau County Bar Association member
  • Suffolk County Bar Association member
  • “Super Lawyer” Metro Rising Star
  • Nominated Best of Long Island Divorce Attorney four consecutive years
  • Alternative Dispute Resolution Committee Contributor
  • Collaborative Law Association of New York – Former Director
  • Martindale Hubbell Distinguished Designation
  • America’s Most Honored Professionals – Top 5%
  • Lead Counsel Rated – Divorce Law
  • American Institute of Family Law Attorneys 10 Best
  • International Academy of Collaborative Professionals
  • Graduate of Hofstra University School of Law
  • Double Bachelor’s degrees in Philosophy, Politics & Law and History from SUNY Binghamton University
Divorce Lawyer Long Island New York
Melissa Rappa
Melissa Rappa
18:09 08 Feb 24
At one of the hardest and most stressful times of my life, it was so comforting to have a team at Hornberger and Verbitsky who ALWAYS responded in record speed to my questions, phone calls, emails or texts and who I felt really cared about helping me through this difficult time. It was a long few years and I am grateful to all of you. Thank you so much Rob, AnneMarie, Christine, Patty, Joan and Lawrence. Your guidance, professionalism and expertise is appreciated beyond measure.
Paul Carmichael
Paul Carmichael
16:21 11 Dec 23
I would give 6 stars if I could. I can't say enough good things about Robert and his firm. We were in a situation for over 2 years and I could have never made it through without Robert's experience and knowledge. He guided me through tough times when needed and his expertise could "read" the situation and make the next best move for me. He was tough when he needed to be tough (thankfully) and at the same time guided me through the process to make me feel comfortable in an uncomfortable situation. I would not want to go through this process without Robert and his team having my back. he helped move the case along and not waste any time or money. One last time, I 100% endorse Robert and his expertise.
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Child Support & Spousal Maintenance Tools
Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., P.C. respects your right to privacy. We will never sell your information to any third party. Follow this link to read our full privacy policy.