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How to Avoid 7 Common Mistakes Men Make During Divorce

by | Sep 29, 2020 | divorce, divorce lawyer long island ny, News and Events

Divorce is difficult for all involved no matter which way you look at it. Divorcing men, in particular, often have a distinct lack of resources and support compared to women who are getting divorced. This lack of support, when combined with inexperienced legal counsel, can lead to easily avoidable mistakes that set a precedent for the continued loss of rights throughout the divorce. Here are several common mistakes men make during their Long Island divorce and how you can avoid them.

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#1. Leaving the Marital Home

One of the first major mistakes men make when beginning the divorce process is moving out of the marital home. If you’ve moved out of your home already and have been living away from it for some time, a judge is less likely to award you the home or force the sale so you get an equal share. Judges are keen to keep the status quo, even if the status quo has been you living outside of your own home.

#2. Living Away from Your Children

You should not live away from your children unless a court order demands it for the same reason that you shouldn’t leave the marital home. If your children have been living with your spouse since you split, it’s far more likely that the judge will award your spouse primary child custody to avoid disrupting the status quo that has already been established. It’s much harder to get that time with your kids back than it is to maintain your stance as an equal custodian.

#3. Retaliating Against Your Spouse

Divorce is wrought with intense emotions, ranging from sadness to apathy to intense anger. You may be tempted to retaliate against your ex-spouse in a number of ways. This could be as simple as making it difficult for your spouse to get their belongings or something more serious, like destroying their property. Don’t give in to this temptation; your ex can use anything you do to paint you in a negative light, increasing their chances of an outcome in their favor instead of yours.

#4. Disagreeing for the Sake of Disagreeing

Many men drag their feet during a divorce or refuse to negotiate on things like alimony, spousal or child support simply for the sake of making sure their ex-spouse gets as little as possible. However, this comes at a higher cost. Family court judges see this all the time and can spot this tactic a mile away and are less likely to look upon you favorably if you appear stubborn or contrary on purpose.

#5. Not Providing Full Financial Disclosure

Legally, you must provide full financial disclosure in your Long Island divorce. If you attempt to hide assets and are caught, you could be held in contempt of court and face criminal charges. You may think that concealing a few assets so your ex-spouse can’t get them is no big deal, but you stand to lose much more if you don’t fully disclose your finances from the start.

#6. Letting Your Spouse’s Attorney Handle the Entire Divorce

Your ex may suggest that you use a single lawyer for the entire divorce to save money and make the divorce process faster. However, this is a terrible idea. You need your own lawyer who is solely focused on your best interests to ensure your divorce stays as fair for you as possible.

#7. Not Hiring an Attorney Early Enough In the Divorce Process

Finally, one of the most damaging mistakes you can make as a divorcing man on Long Island is failing to hire a family law attorney early enough in the divorce process. If you wait to hire a divorce lawyer until you’re nearly ready for court, you’ll have received no guidance on what to do to protect your rights in the meantime. Consulting with an experienced family law attorney as soon as you learn divorce is on the table ensures that you have the advocacy you need.

Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. Will Protect Your Rights in Your Divorce

At Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C., we understand how challenging it is for men to successfully dissolve their marriage while keeping their rights intact. We’re dedicated to helping Long Island residents navigate the rough waters of divorce while protecting the best interests of our clients and their children. Contact us today for a consultation to learn about the legal options you may have available to you. Call now at 631-923-1910.


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At your meeting, your attorney will describe the many options available and determine together which is the right solution for you. By the end of this meeting we’ll all understand how we can best help you to move forward.

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