As a Long Island Divorce Attorney I know that for parents, one of the most important points of focus in divorce is your children’s wellbeing. It is no secret that children suffer when their parents divorce, as it is a life changing event often surrounded by a lot of difficult emotions.
Pay Attention to Your Child’s Education Through Your Divorce
Staying involved in your children’s education is extremely important during your divorce. Your child’s ability to keep up in school and maintain normal social life and activity is indicative of his or her overall emotional wellbeing, and so it is important that you pay attention. Further, your child will appreciate your attention and involvement, and feeling that extra support during this difficult time will help your child’s ability to adapt the changes that divorce brings.
Stay Involved at Your Child’s School
Keep in regular contact with your child’s teacher to let them know what is happening in your child’s life so that the teacher can pay close attention to your child’s progress. Especially if you are a non-custodial parent, it is important that you make the extra effort to keep in touch. This will help you to stay connected to your child. Remember that your child needs your support and positive influence at this time.
Avoid Disruption to Your Child’s Life As Much As Possible
Ideally, Child Custody agreements will allow for very little disruption to children’s everyday lives. It is usually best for children to remain in the same school they went to before the divorce so they can stay with their friends and participate in the same sports and activities that they enjoy. The idea is that the child’s school can provide the structure the child needs in order to cope with their parents’ divorce in a healthy way.
Pay Attention to Changes In Your Child’s Behavior
Children typically struggle to identify and articulate their emotions. This is particularly true in high stress situations such as divorce. Keep in mind that your child may have never felt these types of emotions before and is not yet fully equipped to deal with them. With that in mind, stay alert to changes in your child’s moods, behavior, sleep and eating habits, for clues about what your child is going through. Sudden changes might indicate that your child is struggling and might need more attention and support in order to adjust to the changes at home.
Provide Consistent Rules & Expectations for Your Child
Talk to your ex-spouse about establishing a routine for your child that will be the same no matter which parent he or she is staying with that day. Your routine might include coming home, having a snack, doing homework, playtime or TV, and then dinner as a family. Whatever you decide, try to be on the same page so that your child can have this consistency.
Communicate as Co-Parents, Not as Ex-Spouses
You and your ex-spouse may differ on many things, but you should do everything you can to find common ground when it comes to your children’s best interests. Your new relationship with your ex can be viewed as a kind of business relationship, taking your personal feelings out of the equation as much as possible, and keeping the focus on your children’s wellbeing.
Be Involved and Supportive
Expressing interest in what is going on in your child’s life may be one of the most important things you can do to support your child. Putting your own emotions aside in order to care for your child can help you to cope with the situation as well. Continue to work on communication with your child and your ex-spouse, while being aware of how your child is experiencing the changes to the family.
Free Long Island Divorce Attorney Consultation
Long Island Divorce Attorney Robert E. Hornberger, Esq. is an experienced and compassionate Long Island Divorce Mediator & Divorce Lawyer who helps his clients to focus on and improve communication in order to achieve their child custody, visitation, and divorce objectives. His law office is located in Melville, New York and provides complimentary divorce and family law consultations. Call 631-923-1910 for your free consultation.
Download our Free New York Divorce Guide
Our 41-page “Guide to New York Divorce: What You Need to Know Before Hiring a Divorce Lawyer in New York” written by an experienced family law lawyer, Long Island’s Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., provides you with real information on the divorce process and the laws it rests upon in the state of New York. This book will help give you a solid foundation upon which you can begin the process of making your family’s, life better. Download your Free Guide to New York Divorce here.
