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Should You Record Your Ex During Your Divorce?

by | Mar 30, 2021 | divorce, News and Events

Recording Interactions with Your Ex During Your Long Island Divorce  

It’s important to cover your bases when getting a divorce on Long Island. You can be sure that your ex-spouse isn’t going to protect you, nor will their legal team. It’s up to you to make sure you have the evidence and support you need during your divorce.

Here’s what you should know about recording interactions with your ex and how to get the help you need during the difficult process of dissolving your marriage.​


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Why Should You Record Contact with Your Ex-Spouse?

Many issues within a divorce are “he said, she said” problems, where there are no third-party witnesses, and it’s one spouse’s word against the other’s. When you obtain records of contact with your spouse, you create a “paper trail” that can be used to protect and defend yourself as needed. For example, if your ex falsely accuses you of domestic violence, and you have a video recording of the time in question that shows no altercation, this can be used to prove to the court that the allegations are false.

What Kind of Interactions Should You Record?

Generally, you should have a record of all contact you have with your ex, whether it’s by text, phone, email, or in person. Print copies of all emails and store them in a paper folder, along with saving them in an email folder. Save all voicemails and texts, and make copies of any important video or telephone recordings. Once you and your spouse decide to dissolve your marriage, everything they say and do in connection with you and vice versa should be at least noted. Just be sure to never record your children. These records are not admissible in court and the court frowns upon the recording of children, even if they are your own.

How Should You Record Interactions With Your Ex?

Ideally, record interactions in whatever way you can as soon as they occur. This may not always be feasible, but being aware of the need for records can help you remember to save things you might ordinarily delete, etc.

If you can, record verbal conversations with your smartphone or a tape recorder. New York has one-party consent laws regarding the recording of conversations between two people, meaning that only one person needs to provide consent to record and that person can be you. Take photographs or record video footage if your ex comes onto your property or if they happen to run into you out in public. If you have no way to record an interaction, take notes of what happened to the best of your recollection as soon as you can get to a pen and paper. Sign and date it, and keep it with the rest of your records.

What to Do with Contact Records Once You Have Them

Keep any records of contact with your ex-spouse in a safe place to which only you have. Do not trust anyone besides your divorce attorney with the location and content of these records, even close friends and family. If you are still living in your home during the divorce process, make sure wherever you’re storing those records is outside the house. A safe deposit box in your name only is an excellent place to keep any important documents and items during your divorce.

When you hire an attorney, allow them to review all the raw evidence you have to determine what can and cannot be used in court and what may best support your case.

How to Get the Legal Help You Need During a Long Island Divorce

Going through the process of getting a divorce in New York can be frightening and overwhelming, even if it’s something you wanted or know is best for you and your family. It’s critical that you have someone on your side who can help you navigate through the legal system and who knows how to protect your rights. At Hornberger Verbitsky, PC, we understand how difficult a divorce can be and are committed to providing our clients with the comprehensive support they need throughout each stage of their case.

Contact us today to book your appointment for a free initial consultation or to learn more about how to record interactions with your ex to protect yourself during a divorce at 631-923-1910. We’re available to speak with you at your convenience.


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