Home » 50 Questions People Ask Before Filing for Divorce on Long Island, NY

50 Questions People Ask Before Filing for Divorce on Long Island, NY

by | Mar 24, 2026 | Divorce Long Island, NY

Divorce is one of the most significant legal and personal decisions a person can make. Before filing for divorce, most people on Long Island, NY spend weeks or even months researching their options, trying to understand how the process works and what the outcome might mean for their finances, their children, and their future. If you are considering divorce on Long Island, you likely have many questions about New York divorce laws, court procedures, and the practical steps involved in ending a marriage.

Many of the same concerns come up repeatedly for people in Nassau County and Suffolk County. Questions about the cost of divorce, how long the process takes, how child custody is determined, and what happens to the marital home are among the most common. Others wonder whether mediation might be a better option than going to court, what documents they should gather before filing, or whether they should speak with a divorce attorney before discussing divorce with their spouse. Understanding the answers to these questions can help you avoid costly mistakes and make more informed decisions as you move forward.

In this guide, we address 50 of the most common questions people ask before filing for divorce on Long Island. These questions cover the divorce process in New York, financial considerations such as property division and support, custody issues involving children, and strategic decisions that can affect the outcome of your case. Whether you are just beginning to think about divorce or actively preparing to file, this overview can help you better understand what to expect and how to protect your rights during the process.

In This Guide You’ll Learn:

  • Divorce in New York involves complex legal, financial, and parenting issues.
  • Understanding your rights before filing can help prevent costly mistakes.

  • Many couples benefit from exploring mediation or collaborative divorce options.

  • Consulting an experienced attorney early in the process can help protect your interests and your family’s future.

     

Filing for Divorce in New York

New York state map and divorce petition

1. How do I file for divorce in New York?

To file for divorce in New York, one spouse must prepare and file a Summons with Notice or a Summons and Complaint in Supreme Court. The documents must be served on the other spouse, who then has time to respond. The case proceeds through settlement negotiations or court proceedings.

For more information read, How to File for Divorce in NY

 

2. What are the grounds for divorce in New York?

New York recognizes both fault and no-fault grounds for divorce. The most common ground is an irretrievable breakdown of the marriage for at least six months, often called a no-fault divorce. Other grounds include adultery, abandonment, imprisonment, and cruel and inhuman treatment.

For more information read, Grounds for Divorce on LI

 

3. What are the residency requirements for divorce in New York?

At least one spouse must meet residency requirements before filing. Generally, either both spouses must live in New York, or the marriage must have occurred in New York and one spouse must have lived in the state for at least one year or two years, depending on the circumstances.

For more information read, Residency Requirements for Divorce in Nassau County, Suffolk County

 

4. Do both spouses have to agree to divorce?

No. In New York, one spouse can file for divorce even if the other spouse does not agree. However, disagreements about custody, property division, or support may make the case a contested divorce, which can take longer and require court involvement.

For more information read, 4 Ways Your Spouse Can Respond to Being Served with Divorce in NY

 

5. Can I get divorced if my spouse refuses to participate?

Yes. If your spouse does not respond after being properly served with divorce papers, the court may allow the case to proceed as a default divorce. The judge can still issue orders regarding property, custody, and support even if one spouse refuses to participate.

For more information read, What to Do When Spouse Won’t Sign Divorce Papers

 

6. Do I have to appear in court for divorce?

Many uncontested divorces in New York are finalized without a court appearance. If spouses agree on all issues and submit the required paperwork, the judge may grant the divorce based solely on the written filings.

For more information read, Uncontested Divorce

 

 

Divorce Costs

$100 bills, wooden cutouts of family, gavel, coins over map of Long Island with text, Divorce Costs overlay

7. How much does a divorce cost on Long Island?

The cost of divorce varies depending on whether the case is contested or uncontested. An uncontested divorce may cost a few thousand dollars, while contested cases involving litigation can cost significantly more due to attorney fees, court appearances, and expert witnesses.

For more information read, How Much Does a Divorce Cost?

 

8. What is the cheapest way to get divorced in New York?

The least expensive option is typically an uncontested divorce, where both spouses agree on custody, property division, and support. Divorce mediation can also reduce costs by helping couples resolve disputes without prolonged court battles.

For more information read, Least Expensive Ways to Get Divorced

 

9. How much does a divorce lawyer cost?

Divorce attorneys generally charge hourly rates or flat fees depending on the complexity of the case. Fees vary widely based on the lawyer’s experience, the issues involved, and whether the divorce becomes contested.

 

10. Can I get divorced without a lawyer?

It is possible to file for divorce without a lawyer, particularly in simple uncontested cases. However, because divorce can involve complex issues such as custody, property division, and support, many people benefit from consulting an experienced divorce attorney before filing.

For more information read, Can You DIY Your Divorce?

 

11. Who pays attorney fees in a New York divorce?

New York courts may require one spouse to contribute to the other spouse’s legal fees to ensure both parties have access to representation. Judges often consider financial circumstances when deciding whether attorney fees should be shared.

For more information read, Who Pays Attorney Fees in Divorce?

 

Divorce Timeline

clock over wooden cutouts of man and woman on top of calendar

12. How long does a divorce take in New York?

Uncontested divorces may be finalized in a few months once paperwork is properly submitted. Contested divorces can take much longer depending on disputes over custody, property, or support, as well as court scheduling and case complexity.

For more information read, How Long Does a Divorce Take in New York?

 

13. What is the fastest way to get divorced in New York?

The fastest way to obtain a divorce is through an uncontested divorce, where both spouses agree on all major issues. When couples cooperate and submit complete paperwork, the process can move much faster than a contested court case.

For more information read, Divorce Mediation Saves Time, Money & Emotional Stress

 

14. Why do some divorces take years?

Divorces may take longer when spouses disagree about custody, finances, or property division. Court schedules, discovery disputes, and negotiations can also extend the timeline, particularly in high-conflict or complex cases.

For more information read, Why Contested Divorces Take Time: Tips to Speed Up the Process

 

15. What is the difference between contested and uncontested divorce?

An uncontested divorce occurs when both spouses agree on all terms, including custody, property division, and support. A contested divorce involves disagreements that require negotiation, mediation, or court intervention to resolve.

For more information read:

Contested Versus Uncontested Divorce: Which Is Better for You?

What’s the Difference Between Contested and Uncontested Divorce?

 

Property Division

house on top of calendar with keys, cash and coins, couple in background, Property Division overlay

16. Is New York a 50/50 divorce state?

New York follows equitable distribution, not automatic 50/50 division. Courts divide marital property in a way that is fair based on factors such as income, contributions to the marriage, and future financial needs.

For more information read:

‘Equitable Distribution’ is not ‘Equal Distribution’ in NY Divorce

Long Island Divorce Attorney Answers Equitable Distribution Questions

How Does Equitable Distribution Work in Divorce

 

 

17. What is considered marital property?

Marital property generally includes assets and debts acquired during the marriage, regardless of whose name is on the title. This can include homes, retirement accounts, investments, and other financial assets accumulated during the marriage.

For more information read, What You Need to Know About Marital Property Division in New York

 

 

18. What happens to the house in a divorce?

The marital home may be sold and the proceeds divided, or one spouse may keep the home while compensating the other spouse for their share. Courts consider financial circumstances and the best interests of children when deciding what happens to the house.

For more information read, Dividing Your Home in Your Divorce: Sell, Refinance or Buy Out?

 

19. How are retirement accounts divided in divorce?

Retirement accounts earned during the marriage are usually considered marital property. They are often divided through a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO), which allows retirement benefits to be allocated between spouses without tax penalties.

For more information read, Dividing Retirement Assets in Divorce: What You Need to Know

 

20. How are debts divided in divorce?

Debts incurred during the marriage are typically considered marital liabilities and may be divided between spouses. Courts consider factors such as who incurred the debt and how it benefited the household.

For more information read, Dividing Retirement Assets in Divorce: What You Need to Know

 

Spousal Support

spousal support agreement with money on scales, wooden cutouts of couple

21. What is spousal support?

Spousal support, often called alimony or maintenance, is financial assistance one spouse may pay to the other after separation or divorce. It is intended to help the lower-earning spouse maintain financial stability.

For more information read, Spousal Maintenance/Alimony

 

22. How is spousal support calculated in New York?

New York uses statutory formulas and guidelines to estimate spousal support amounts. Courts may adjust the amount based on factors such as income, marriage length, and each spouse’s financial circumstances.

For more information read, Long Island Spousal Maintenance (Alimony) Questions Answered

 

23. How long does spousal support last?

The duration of spousal support depends on factors such as the length of the marriage and the financial situation of both spouses. In many cases, support lasts for a portion of the marriage duration.

For more information read, Alimony FAQs Answered

 

Child Custody

parents fighting over wooden cutout of child, custody agreement in background, Child Custody overlay

24. How is child custody determined in New York?

Child custody decisions are based on the best interests of the child. Courts consider factors such as each parent’s ability to provide a stable environment, the child’s relationship with each parent, and the child’s overall well-being.

For more information read, Long Island Child Custody Lawyers (Nassau, Suffolk) Protect Your Rights

 

Legal custody refers to the authority to make important decisions about a child’s education, health care, and upbringing. Physical custody determines where the child primarily lives and how parenting time is shared.

For more information read, Understanding Your Child Custody Options on Long Island, NY

 

26. Can fathers get custody in New York?

Yes. New York courts do not favor one parent over the other based on gender. Fathers can and do receive custody when it is in the best interests of the child.

For more information read:

Can a Father Win Sole Child Custody?

How Courts Evaluate Fathers in Child Custody Cases in NY

5 Child Custody Problems Fathers Face

 

27. At what age can a child choose which parent to live with?

A child’s preferences may be considered by the court, particularly for older children. However, the final custody decision is always based on the child’s best interests rather than the child’s choice alone.

For more information read, Can Children Choose Custodial Parent?

 

28. What is a parenting plan?

A parenting plan outlines how parents will share responsibilities after divorce. It may include custody arrangements, parenting schedules, holiday plans, and decision-making responsibilities.

For more information read, How to Create a Strong Child Custody Parenting Plan

 

Child Support

Parents and child among money bills, piggy bank child support agreement, Child Support overlay

29. How is child support calculated in New York?

New York uses the Child Support Standards Act (CSSA) to calculate support. The formula considers both parents’ income and the number of children involved.

For more information read, Child Support Calculator

 

30.  How long does child support last in New York?

Child support generally continues until the child turns 21 years old, unless the child becomes emancipated earlier.

For more information read, Child Support Lawyers Protect Your Long Island, NY Family’s Future

 

31. Can child support be modified?

Yes. Child support orders may be modified if there is a significant change in circumstances, such as income changes or shifts in parenting time.

For more information read, Can Child Support/Custody Agreements be Modified on Long Island, NY?

 

Preparing for Divorce

Preparing for divorce checklist on desk with money,  keys, calculator, gavel, forms

32. Should I move out before filing for divorce?

Moving out of the marital home can have legal and financial consequences, particularly if children are involved. It is often wise to consult an attorney before leaving the home to understand how it may affect custody or property claims.

For more information read, Don’t Move Out Before Divorce is Final

 

33. What documents should I gather before filing for divorce?

Important documents include tax returns, bank statements, retirement account records, mortgage documents, credit card statements, and business records. These documents help establish a clear financial picture of the marriage.

For more information read, How To Prepare Documents for Your Divorce

 

34. Should I open a separate bank account before divorce?

Some individuals choose to open a separate account to manage personal finances during separation. However, large transfers or unusual financial activity should be approached carefully and discussed with an attorney.

For more information read, What Will Happen to My Bank Accounts in My Divorce?

 

35. What mistakes should I avoid before filing for divorce?

Common mistakes include hiding assets, making large financial decisions without legal advice, posting about the divorce on social media, and failing to gather important financial records.

For more information read, Avoid Mistakes at the Start of Your Long Island, NY Divorce

 

Divorce Alternatives

different divorce alternatives thumbtacked to wall

36. What is divorce mediation?

Divorce mediation is a process where a neutral mediator helps spouses negotiate agreements about custody, finances, and property division. Mediation can often reduce conflict and help couples reach settlements more efficiently.

For more information read, Divorce Mediation on Long Island, NY | Nassau & Suffolk

 

37. What is collaborative divorce?

Collaborative divorce involves both spouses working with specially trained attorneys to resolve disputes without litigation. The goal is to reach a mutually acceptable agreement outside of court.

For more information read, Collaborative Divorce Attorney Long Island, NY

 

38. Is mediation required in New York divorce?

Mediation is not always required, but courts often encourage it as a way to resolve disputes before trial. Many couples choose mediation voluntarily to reduce conflict and costs.

For more information read, Your Comprehensive Guide to Divorce Mediation

 

Strategic Divorce Questions

couple on couch, lawyer with clipboard of strategic divorce questions, Strategic Divorce Questions overlay

39. Should I talk to a divorce lawyer before telling my spouse?

Many people consult a lawyer privately before discussing divorce with their spouse. This can help them understand their rights and prepare for the legal and financial implications of divorce.

For more information read, the New York Divorce Guide

 

40. Can my spouse hide assets during divorce?

Courts require both spouses to disclose financial information during divorce proceedings. If a spouse hides assets, the court may impose penalties or adjust the distribution of property.

For more information read:

Top 4 Ways a Spouse Can Hide Assets in a Divorce

Beware a Spouse Hiding Assets During Divorce on Long Island

Do You Think Your Spouse is Hiding Assets?

Ex Hiding Income? Get Spousal Support You Deserve in NY

Economic Abuse in Divorce: When Money Becomes a Weapon

 

law books, divorce agreement, gavel, scales with Strategic and Legal Considerations overlay

41. Can I date while my divorce is pending?

Dating during a divorce is not illegal, but it can complicate negotiations and potentially impact issues such as custody or spousal support. New relationships may increase tension between spouses and could be used as evidence in certain fault-based claims, so it is wise to discuss the situation with your attorney.

For more information read, Can I Date During My Divorce?

 

42. What happens if my spouse and I reconcile after filing for divorce?

If spouses reconcile after filing for divorce, they can pause or withdraw the case. Courts may allow a divorce action to be discontinued if both parties agree. If reconciliation fails later, the couple may choose to resume the case or file a new divorce action.

For more information read, 5 Ways to Save Your Marriage Before Considering Divorce

 

43. Can I move out of New York during a divorce?

Relocating during a divorce can create legal complications, particularly if children are involved. Courts may restrict relocation if it interferes with custody arrangements or parenting time. Anyone considering moving during a divorce should seek legal advice before making plans.

For more information read, Why You Shouldn’t Move Out Before Your Divorce is Final

 

44. Can I move away with my child after divorce?

Relocation with a child typically requires either the other parent’s consent or a court order. Judges consider factors such as the child’s relationship with both parents, educational opportunities, and the impact of the move on the child’s well-being.

For more information read: Can I Move Away with My Children After Divorce?

 

 

45. What happens if there is domestic violence during a divorce?

Domestic violence can significantly affect divorce proceedings. Courts may issue orders of protection, determine custody arrangements differently, and address safety concerns for the victim and children. Evidence of abuse can influence decisions related to parenting time and living arrangements.

For more information read:

How to Prove or Disprove Domestic Violence

How Can a Domestic Violence Lawyer Help?

Can Men Be Victims of Domestic Violence

Is Emotional Abuse Domestic Violence in NY?

 

46. What is an order of protection?

An order of protection is a court order designed to protect someone from harassment, threats, or violence. It may prohibit the abusive party from contacting or approaching the protected person and may also establish temporary custody or residence arrangements.

For more information read, Order of Protection & Domestic Violence Attorney Long Island

 

47. What happens if one spouse owns a business?

A business started or operated during the marriage may be considered marital property. Courts may require a business valuation to determine its worth before deciding how it should be divided or compensated between spouses.

For more information read, Dividing a Business in Divorce: What You Need to Know

 

48. How are taxes affected by divorce?

Divorce can change filing status, tax obligations, and eligibility for deductions or credits. Property transfers, alimony payments, and child-related tax benefits may all have tax consequences, so many individuals consult both a divorce attorney and a tax professional.

For more information read, Tips for Filing Taxes After Your Divorce

 

49. What happens to prenuptial agreements during divorce?

A valid prenuptial agreement can significantly affect property division, spousal support, and financial obligations during divorce. Courts generally enforce prenuptial agreements unless they are found to be invalid due to fraud, coercion, or improper disclosure.

For more information read, Prenuptial and Postnuptial Agreements Attorney in New York, Long Island

 

50. Should I consult a divorce attorney before filing?

Speaking with an experienced divorce attorney before filing can help you understand your rights, financial situation, and potential custody issues. Early legal advice allows you to plan strategically, gather important documents, and avoid mistakes that could affect the outcome of your case.

For more information read, 5 Ways to Save Your Marriage Before Considering Divorce

 

 

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Schedule a complimentary confidential consultation and case evaluation today to discuss your options and take the first step toward protecting your future. Call 631-923-1910 or fill out the form below and we’ll get right back to you to schedule your appointment at a time that’s convenient for you.

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Horberger Verbitsky, P.C. partners Robert E. Hornberger, Esq. and Christine M. Verbitsky, Esq.
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About the Author

Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., Founding Partner, Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.

  • Over 20 years practicing matrimonial law
  • Over 1,000 cases successfully resolved
  • Founder and Partner of Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.
  • Experienced and compassionate Long Island Divorce Attorney, Family Law Attorney, and Divorce Mediator
  • Licensed to practice law in the State of New York
  • New York State Bar Association member
  • Nassau County Bar Association member
  • Suffolk County Bar Association member
  • “Super Lawyer” Metro Rising Star
  • Nominated Best of Long Island Divorce Attorney four consecutive years
  • Alternative Dispute Resolution Committee Contributor
  • Collaborative Law Association of New York – Former Director
  • Martindale Hubbell Distinguished Designation
  • America’s Most Honored Professionals – Top 5%
  • Lead Counsel Rated – Divorce Law
  • American Institute of Family Law Attorneys 10 Best
  • International Academy of Collaborative Professionals
  • Graduate of Hofstra University School of Law
  • Double Bachelor’s degrees in Philosophy, Politics & Law and History from SUNY Binghamton University
  • Full Robert E. Hornberger, Esq. Bio
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