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7 Ways to Cope with Loneliness Following Divorce in NY

by | Jun 6, 2023 | Divorce Long Island, NY

Some of the most difficult aspects of divorce aren’t legal – they’re emotional. One of these is loneliness, especially after a divorce. Adjusting to an emptier home and doing more things alone can be challenging and even heartbreaking at times. Remember, you’re starting a new life; there are going to be growing pains, no matter how much you may have wanted to move on from your old life.

Beginnings can be hard, but here are some ways that can help you manage feelings of loneliness after getting divorced and what a skilled Long Island, NY divorce attorney can do to help with the legal aspects of your split.

#1. Allow Yourself to Grieve

Divorcing isn’t unlike death – you’re grieving the end of something and someone you had, and life won’t ever be the same again. It’s important to allow yourself the time and space to come to terms with the loss of your marriage, your spouse, and perhaps even 100 percent of your children’s attention if you are now sharing custody of them.

Don’t be too hard on yourself if you’re feeling down, especially in the first few weeks and months after the divorce. It’s normal to experience fear, anger, sadness, and frustration after a marriage ends. Instead of pushing these feelings away, try recognizing these emotions within yourself and working through them.

#2. Remember That It Gets Better

Loneliness after divorce can seem far-reaching and never-ending. You may feel like things will never get better than they are now and you don’t know how you will get through it. It is not unlike the feelings after the loss of a loved one. It can feel like you’ll always feel this raw and sad, but this is almost never true. Many people who get divorced often end up in better circumstances than they were before.

In time, the situation you’re in and your feelings about it will shift. What you’re going through now won’t feel as new or intense over the next several weeks, months, and years. It is true that time heals wounds. You’ll gain more coping skills and support resources, along with the experience of using them.

#3. Join a Divorce Support Group

Sometimes, loneliness comes not from being alone but by being surrounded by people who have no idea how to relate to you or vice versa. If you find yourself not really alone but still feeling lonely, you may need some camaraderie with other people who have gone through divorce and know what it’s like.

Try joining a divorce support group online or in person to connect with people who are going through similar issues. This can help you form new friendships with people you have things in common with and who understand where you’re at emotionally.

#4. See a Mental Health Professional

Sometimes, managing post-divorce emotions isn’t something you can do on your own. If feelings of loneliness have kept you from eating, showering, going to work, or completing other basic tasks, it may be time to see a professional.

Different mental health professionals each provide different services, and many divorcees work with more than one to meet their changing needs throughout the process of finalizing their split. If necessary, a psychiatrist can prescribe medication that can help reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression, while a counselor or therapist can help you process your emotions and learn new coping skills.

#5. Try New Things

It’s easy to get trapped in a rut after divorce. You might find it hard to get out and enjoy things you used to, or you may be less motivated to engage in fun or relaxing activities.

But now is a great time to try new things and figure out what you like to do, especially if you’ve been married for a long time. Perhaps there have been things you’ve wanted to do, but your spouse was not interested so you never had a chance to pursue them. Now is your chance.

There may be things that you never thought your could do before, that perhaps now you can. For example, if you’ve never been out to eat at a restaurant alone, you could try making a reservation for your favorite place and taking a book to occupy your time.

#6. Plan Ahead for The Future

You can also help fight feelings of loneliness and sadness after a divorce by planning ahead for the future. Now is the first day of the rest of your life. What do you want that life to look like. Think about things you’d like to do and what resources you’d need to do them to see what’s possible. Planning out your goals and activities can refocus your energy on positive growth and help you avoid falling into a deep depression.

#7. Contact Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. Today

Don’t let the emotional aspects of getting a divorce make the legal process harder. At Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C., our veteran Long Island, NY divorce lawyers can help you navigate the divorce process and will work to negotiate the best outcome possible for you and your family. Contact us today to learn more or to book your free initial divorce consultation by dialing 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form on this page and we’ll get back to you.


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About the Author

Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., Founding Partner, Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.

  • Over 20 years practicing matrimonial law
  • Over 1,000 cases successfully resolved
  • Founder and Partner of Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.
  • Experienced and compassionate Long Island Divorce Attorney, Family Law Attorney, and Divorce Mediator
  • Licensed to practice law in the State of New York
  • New York State Bar Association member
  • Nassau County Bar Association member
  • Suffolk County Bar Association member
  • “Super Lawyer” Metro Rising Star
  • Nominated Best of Long Island Divorce Attorney four consecutive years
  • Alternative Dispute Resolution Committee Contributor
  • Collaborative Law Association of New York – Former Director
  • Martindale Hubbell Distinguished Designation
  • America’s Most Honored Professionals – Top 5%
  • Lead Counsel Rated – Divorce Law
  • American Institute of Family Law Attorneys 10 Best
  • International Academy of Collaborative Professionals
  • Graduate of Hofstra University School of Law
  • Double Bachelor’s degrees in Philosophy, Politics & Law and History from SUNY Binghamton University
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Melissa Rappa
Melissa Rappa
18:09 08 Feb 24
At one of the hardest and most stressful times of my life, it was so comforting to have a team at Hornberger and Verbitsky who ALWAYS responded in record speed to my questions, phone calls, emails or texts and who I felt really cared about helping me through this difficult time. It was a long few years and I am grateful to all of you. Thank you so much Rob, AnneMarie, Christine, Patty, Joan and Lawrence. Your guidance, professionalism and expertise is appreciated beyond measure.
Paul Carmichael
Paul Carmichael
16:21 11 Dec 23
I would give 6 stars if I could. I can't say enough good things about Robert and his firm. We were in a situation for over 2 years and I could have never made it through without Robert's experience and knowledge. He guided me through tough times when needed and his expertise could "read" the situation and make the next best move for me. He was tough when he needed to be tough (thankfully) and at the same time guided me through the process to make me feel comfortable in an uncomfortable situation. I would not want to go through this process without Robert and his team having my back. he helped move the case along and not waste any time or money. One last time, I 100% endorse Robert and his expertise.
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