Divorce is always difficult for all involved, but it can be hardest on the children who have no say in what is transpiring between their parents. While the divorce may be inevitable, parents can go the extra mile to work together to co-parent their children with time, effort, and dedication. Ideally, parents will put their children, and their needs, first and foremost.

Not all divorces go this way though, and many turn contentious. When this happens and children are involved, one parent may attempt to turn their children against the other parent. Regardless of whether or not the other parent is successfully ostracized, it can have devastating consequences on the child and the family. This phenomenon, known as “parental alienation”, can tear families apart and leave everyone involved feeling hurt and alone.

If you’re concerned that your family might be heading down this destructive path, it’s important to know how to stop parental alienation before it starts. Early intervention is key, so pay attention to signs that your child is being manipulated by one parent against the other. And if you’re already caught in the middle of an alienation dynamic, there are still things you can do to protect yourself and your relationship with your child. Here’s what to know.

The Problem with Parental Alienation

Parental alienation occurs when one parent attempts to undermine the relationship between the child and the other parent. This behavior can take many forms, from badmouthing the other parent, lying about them and their actions or motivations, to outright denying them access to the child.

The consequences of this type of behavior are severe. Children who are subjected to parental alienation manipulation can suffer from emotional distress, behavioral problems, and difficulties forming and maintaining relationships themselves as adults. In extreme cases, parental alienation can lead to estrangement, which means the child completely cuts off contact with the targeted parent.

Early Intervention Is Key to Stopping Parental Alienation

The earlier you can intervene in parental alienation, the better. By catching the behavior early, you may be able to prevent the alienation from becoming more severe and damaging.

Talk to your child about their relationship with the other parent. Ask them how they feel and encourage them to express any concerns they have. Although this may be difficult in a contentious contested divorce where you angry and fighting with your ex, it’s important to put the child’s needs ahead of your own and encourage a healthy relationship between your child and the other parent, regardless of how you feel about them. This includes making sure they’re spending time together, that you’re talking positively about the other parent, and constructively resolving conflicts.

What Happens If You’re Being Alienated?

If you think that you might be a victim of parental alienation, there are a few key signs to look out for. First, see if there is a sudden and unexplained change in your relationship with your child. If you used to have a close, loving relationship and now your child seems distant or even hostile, this could be a sign the other parent is succeeding at parental alienation of your relationship.

Other signs include:

• Your child repeating negative things about you that they couldn’t possibly know on their own
• Your child refusing to spend time with you or telling you that they don’t want to see you
• Your child bad mouthing you to other family members or friends
• Your child making false accusations against you

Strategies To Stop Parental Alienation

Parental alienation can be emotionally devastating to the one being alienated and the child. If possible, try to have an adult conversation with the other parent about what’s going on and how it’s negatively affecting your child and their future. It’s important to stay calm and avoid accusing them of anything. Instead, simply express your concerns and ask if there’s anything they can do to help improve the situation.

Counseling may help you deal with the pain and anger you’re feeling while also giving you practical tools for dealing with the situation. It may also help to talk to someone who’s been through something similar. There are many online forums and support groups for parents dealing with parental alienation. Talking to others who understand what you’re going through can help ease the feelings of isolation and loneliness that often come with this type of situation.

In some cases, legal action may be necessary. If there is evidence that the other parent is deliberately trying to turn your child against you, a restraining order may be appropriate. Or, you may benefit from filing for full custody.

Call an Experienced Long Island, NY Divorce Lawyer for Help with Parental Alienation Issues Today

It’s important to remember that parental alienation is a serious problem that can have lasting consequences for both children and parents. If you’re concerned about parental alienation, the best thing you can do is to seek help from a professional as soon as possible.

Contact Long Island divorce lawyers Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. for a free consultation to discuss your case and legal strategy by dialing 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form on this page.

If you’re considering divorce and have children, you may have heard the term “Bird’s Nest Custody” and wonder if it’s an option on Long Island, NY. Or, perhaps you’ve never heard of this type of child custody and are interested in learning how it works. Discover bird nesting, how to know if it’s right for your family, and how an experienced Long Island divorce attorney can help you understand your custody options, which one is right for your family and make sure your rights are protected.

What Is ‘Bird’s Nest Custody’ & How Does It Work?

Bird’s nest custody refers to a situation where, after the divorce, the children remain in the family home and the divorced parents take turns living there. This allows the children to have stability and continuity in their daily lives, while still having access to both parents.

There are a few different ways that bird’s nest custody can work in practice. In some cases, the parents alternate living in the family home every week. So, for example, Parent A would live in the home with the children from Monday to Friday, while Parent B would live elsewhere. Then, on Friday evening, Parent B would move into the family home and stay there until Monday morning when Parent A moves back in.

In other cases, one parent may live in the family home full-time while the other parent has an apartment nearby. The parent who is not living in the family home will typically visit on weekends and during weeknights.

The arrangement can also be made around the parents’ work schedules or social commitments. For example, if one parent works nights and weekends while the other has a more traditional 9-5 job, they may switch off living at home accordingly.

Benefits of Bird’s Nesting for Children & Parents

There are many potential benefits of bird’s nest custody arrangements. First and foremost, it offers children more consistency during a time of upheaval and change. It also makes it easier for the child to maintain a quality relationship with both parents post-divorce.

Another potential benefit is that it can make co-parenting easier as there is no need to coordinate pick-ups and drop-offs of children between households. This can be especially helpful if parents live far apart from each other or have difficulty communicating with each other.

It can also help save money, since only one household needs to be maintained for the children instead of two separate homes.

Does Long Island Allow Bird’s Nest Child Custody?

In New York, bird’s nest custody is not specifically recognized by state law, nor is it a prohibited arrangement. If this is something you’re interested in, you have the right to discuss these arrangements with your ex and pursue this type of custody. However, courts have the discretion to approve or deny such arrangements depending on whether or not they’re in the best interests of the children involved.

How to Decide If Bird Nesting Is Right for Your Family

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer to whether bird’s nest custody is right for you and your family. If you are considering this as an option for your divorce, there are a few things you should keep in mind. First, it’s critical to make sure that both you and your ex-spouse are on board. This type of custody arrangement can be emotionally challenging, and both parents must be committed to making it work.

Another issue that’s important to consider is whether or not your children are old enough to fully understand the boundaries in a bird’s nest arrangement. If your children are very young, they may find it confusing. Of course, very young children often find the whole concept and arrangements of divorce confusing. On the other hand, older children often find it easier to understand and may prefer this type of arrangement, since it allows them to have a stable home life even though their parents aren’t married.

Finally, you should also think about whether or not you and your ex can afford to maintain two households for your children. In a traditional child custody arrangement, each parent has their own home where the children alternate spending their time. Bird nesting allows parents to pay for only one family home, and the other can stay in a small apartment or with a roommate. This is often much cheaper than the alternative.

When You Need a Consultation with a Long Island, NY Divorce Lawyer

If you think bird’s nest custody might be right for you and your family, reach out to an experienced Long Island divorce attorney to help you understand the legal implications of this type of arrangement and navigate the complex logistics involved in making it work. Call Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. today for more information at 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form on this page.

GET YOUR FREE CONSULTATION TODAY
Call 631-923-1910 or fill in the form below

Get your complimentary consultation and case evaluation with our experienced attorneys today.

Your attorney will describe the many options available and determine together which is the right solution for you. By the end of this  conversation, we’ll all understand how we can best help you to move forward.

No Cost or Obligation

There is no cost or obligation for this initial consultation. It is simply an opportunity for us to get to know each other, answer your questions and learn if Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. is right the right law firm for you. Give us a call at 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form below for your free consultation and case evaluation.

All Fields Are Required