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Long Island, NY Child Custody: Who Chooses & Pays Extracurriculars?

Long Island, NY Child Custody: Who Chooses & Pays Extracurriculars?

Long Island, NY Child Custody: Who Chooses & Pays Extracurriculars?

From baseball, football and soccer to piano, gymnastics and dance, most children on Long Island, NY have a full schedule of things to do and engage in after school and on weekends. Each of these extracurricular activities may have its merits to the child’s physical and social development, desires and goals, but they also have associated costs. Often, those costs can rise substantially over time, often making it hard for parents to cover the added expenses. In a Long Island, NY divorce, who pays these additional expenses. What should you do if you and your ex cannot agree on who pays for these extracurricular activities or the costs related to them?

At Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C., our experienced divorce attorneys on Long Island, NY, can provide you with case-specific insight into what your responsibilities are in matters such as these. The following are some of the expectations you can have throughout this process.

Extracurricular Activities Are Typically Included in Child Support Payments

In general, the cost of these activities is expected to be paid as a part of child support. In some situations courts will rule on specific extracurricular costs and requirements. For example, if a child’s mother pays child support for their son to the father, that child support payment should cover the son’s extracurricular activities in most situations.

Sometimes, the court will rule on what are considered “add-on” costs. These would be added costs applied in addition to child support payments. Though not typical, you can request it from the other parent and the courts in general.

How to Request Add-On Payments for Child Support in New York

If you wish to change any type of agreement put in place by a New York court, you must file a formal request with the applicable court. However, we suggest a few key things to potentially support co-parenting.

  • Be sure to first talk to an experienced child support attorney in Long Island, NY before making any assumptions. Ensure that you know what your likelihood is of obtaining add-on support.
  • Mediating these matters out of court tends to be more efficient and faster, providing you with insight and guidance immediately.
  • Save these types of add-on requests for serious and significant needs rather than simple minor expenses.

If you are making a decision about where your child should go to school, such as putting your child into a private school, then add-on changes to your existing agreement may be beneficial. However, if you are hoping the noncustodial parent will cover your child’s swim classes or arts group, that is not likely something the court will rule in favor of, instead requiring that these costs are paid out of the child support payment.

In situations like this, when costs begin to add up, such as when a child is getting older and more involved, the court may be in favor of increasing the amount of child support you receive. This often happens only when it is considered in the child’s best interests. Our Long Island, NY, child support attorneys can help you navigate what the court will consider the child’s best interests.

What Are Your Options If You Do Not Agree with the Extracurricular Activities Your Ex Is Enrolling Your Child In?

Under child custody law in New York, the party with legal custody over the child is the decision maker in matters like this. They typically do not need permission from the other parent when a child wants to engage in an activity or when they put a child into an extracurricular activity. However, that only applies to situations where one parent has sole legal custody. Today, many parents have shared legal custody, and that means there are many instances in which such decisions must be made by the parties together. When possible, that is the best route to take.

In situations where you believe the extracurricular activity is detrimental to what is in the best interests of the child, you may be able to seek a court decision related to it. Court intervention on matters like these can be obtained if you believe the best interests of the child are not being met. The court will gather facts from both parents and even include the child’s preferences in some cases and then make a ruling decision about what to expect.

Let Our Experienced Child Support Attorneys on Long Island, NY Offer You Guidance

The Child Support Family Law attorneys at Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C., understand decisions about extracurricular activities are important to all involved. Let our highly experienced child support attorneys in Long Island, NY, offer you guidance on what your legal rights are. Call us now for a consultation at 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form on this page.

GET YOUR FREE CONSULTATION TODAY
Call 631-923-1910 or fill in the form below

Get your complimentary consultation and case evaluation with our experienced attorneys today.

Your attorney will describe the many options available and determine together which is the right solution for you. By the end of this  conversation, we’ll all understand how we can best help you to move forward.

No Cost or Obligation

There is no cost or obligation for this initial consultation. It is simply an opportunity for us to get to know each other, answer your questions and learn if Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. is right the right law firm for you. Give us a call at 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form below for your free consultation and case evaluation.

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About the Author

Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., Founding Partner, Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.

  • Over 20 years practicing matrimonial law
  • Over 1,000 cases successfully resolved
  • Founder and Partner of Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.
  • Experienced and compassionate Long Island Divorce Attorney, Family Law Attorney, and Divorce Mediator
  • Licensed to practice law in the State of New York
  • New York State Bar Association member
  • Nassau County Bar Association member
  • Suffolk County Bar Association member
  • “Super Lawyer” Metro Rising Star
  • Nominated Best of Long Island Divorce Attorney four consecutive years
  • Alternative Dispute Resolution Committee Contributor
  • Collaborative Law Association of New York – Former Director
  • Martindale Hubbell Distinguished Designation
  • America’s Most Honored Professionals – Top 5%
  • Lead Counsel Rated – Divorce Law
  • American Institute of Family Law Attorneys 10 Best
  • International Academy of Collaborative Professionals
  • Graduate of Hofstra University School of Law
  • Double Bachelor’s degrees in Philosophy, Politics & Law and History from SUNY Binghamton University
Divorce Lawyer Long Island New York
Melissa Rappa
Melissa Rappa
18:09 08 Feb 24
At one of the hardest and most stressful times of my life, it was so comforting to have a team at Hornberger and Verbitsky who ALWAYS responded in record speed to my questions, phone calls, emails or texts and who I felt really cared about helping me through this difficult time. It was a long few years and I am grateful to all of you. Thank you so much Rob, AnneMarie, Christine, Patty, Joan and Lawrence. Your guidance, professionalism and expertise is appreciated beyond measure.
Paul Carmichael
Paul Carmichael
16:21 11 Dec 23
I would give 6 stars if I could. I can't say enough good things about Robert and his firm. We were in a situation for over 2 years and I could have never made it through without Robert's experience and knowledge. He guided me through tough times when needed and his expertise could "read" the situation and make the next best move for me. He was tough when he needed to be tough (thankfully) and at the same time guided me through the process to make me feel comfortable in an uncomfortable situation. I would not want to go through this process without Robert and his team having my back. he helped move the case along and not waste any time or money. One last time, I 100% endorse Robert and his expertise.
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Suspect Ex’s Substance Abuse? How To Fight for Your Child’s Safety in NY

Suspect Ex’s Substance Abuse? How To Fight for Your Child’s Safety in NY

Suspect Ex’s Substance Abuse? How To Fight for Your Child’s Safety in NY

Are you worried about your child’s safety when they are in your ex’s custody? If you believe your ex is using drugs or alcohol and putting your child at risk when in their custody, you need to know what you can do to protect them and ensure their safety. If your ex has custody of your child, it is your right, even your obligation, to ensure your child remains safe there. It is not uncommon for parents to encounter dangerous situations like this, and in those cases you need to know the legal options available to you to protect your child.

Before you do start making accusations of substance abuse against your ex, we encourage you to set up a consultation with the experienced Long Island, NY divorce attorneys at Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. Taking this first step can help ensure you remain protected and your child gets rapid help if they need it. If you are divorcing an addict on Long Island, NY, we encourage you to understand your rights before taking action.

Can You Request a Drug Test of Your Ex with Child Custody?

In any child custody matter, requesting a drug test can be a powerful tool to help you show that your child’s other parent is unfit. If you seek sole custody, you may take this step to you’re your case. However, when the court has already assigned custody to the other parent, the process becomes a bit more challenging.

You should only pursue a drug test request like this if you are confident that the other parent is putting your child at risk through the illegal or misuse of drugs or alcohol. This is key because, if that does not happen, you could be seen as vindictive and wasting the court’s time, which ultimately hurts your case.

What to Do When You Know Your Child Is At Risk

In situations where you need to request a drug test for the other parent, do not speak to the other parent or alert them to this in any way. Instead, work with your Long Island, NY divorce attorney to file a motion with the court. The court will ask for the reasoning behind this motion, and you will need to provide it.

For example, if your child was in the car when your ex was charged with driving under the influence, that is clear evidence. If you have photos or videos of the other parent using substances illicitly while in the presence of your child, that could also be helpful. Witness statements, employer statements, or other information could be considered as well.

Providing the court with a pattern of substance abuse can also be a clear reason to require a drug test. Providing proof of this through photos, videos, or text messages may be necessary in these situations. Note that it is not uncommon for exes to falsely accuse the other of substance abuse or misuse as a way to influence custody decisions. The court knows that and will carefully examine any request for a drug test before moving forward with it.

What to Expect in Child Custody on Long Island, NY

The court will give both parties a chance to argue their case for or against the drug test and why they feel it may or may not be beneficial. It is up to the court to then decide. Long Island, New York state courts may be willing to order a drug test if they believe the child is at risk. If so, they will determine the type of test to administer, such as a urine, blood, or hair test. Depending on the type, it may provide evidence of substance use for a period of time.

The court will determine:

  • Where the test will be done
  • When the test must be done by
  • And what the outcome of a failed drug test may mean to the parent
  • If and when to consider a challenge to positive test results
  • If a temporary child custody order is necessary

A positive drug test on your ex does not automatically change custody agreements. It also does not mean that the other parent cannot maintain partial custody of the child. Each situation is carefully considered to ensure that the best interests of the child are protected.

What You Should Do Now to Protect Your Child if You Suspect is Abusing Drugs or Alcohol

At Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C., we take action quickly to ensure your child is not being put in harm’s way due to the drug or alcohol abuse of the other parent. If we believe that it is in your best interests to pursue a drug test against your ex to prove that they are putting your child at risk, we will tell you that. Our Long Island, NY child custody attorneys will work diligently to pursue motions to encourage the court to take necessary action. We can also help you understand parental rights after an NY criminal conviction, such as a DUI.

Contact us now for a free initial consultation and case evaluation. Our team is ready to help you when you call 691-923-1910 or fill in the short form on this page.

GET YOUR FREE CONSULTATION TODAY
Call 631-923-1910 or fill in the form below

Get your complimentary consultation and case evaluation with our experienced attorneys today.

Your attorney will describe the many options available and determine together which is the right solution for you. By the end of this  conversation, we’ll all understand how we can best help you to move forward.

No Cost or Obligation

There is no cost or obligation for this initial consultation. It is simply an opportunity for us to get to know each other, answer your questions and learn if Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. is right the right law firm for you. Give us a call at 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form below for your free consultation and case evaluation.

All Fields Are Required

* indicates required

About the Author

Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., Founding Partner, Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.

  • Over 20 years practicing matrimonial law
  • Over 1,000 cases successfully resolved
  • Founder and Partner of Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.
  • Experienced and compassionate Long Island Divorce Attorney, Family Law Attorney, and Divorce Mediator
  • Licensed to practice law in the State of New York
  • New York State Bar Association member
  • Nassau County Bar Association member
  • Suffolk County Bar Association member
  • “Super Lawyer” Metro Rising Star
  • Nominated Best of Long Island Divorce Attorney four consecutive years
  • Alternative Dispute Resolution Committee Contributor
  • Collaborative Law Association of New York – Former Director
  • Martindale Hubbell Distinguished Designation
  • America’s Most Honored Professionals – Top 5%
  • Lead Counsel Rated – Divorce Law
  • American Institute of Family Law Attorneys 10 Best
  • International Academy of Collaborative Professionals
  • Graduate of Hofstra University School of Law
  • Double Bachelor’s degrees in Philosophy, Politics & Law and History from SUNY Binghamton University
Divorce Lawyer Long Island New York
Melissa Rappa
Melissa Rappa
18:09 08 Feb 24
At one of the hardest and most stressful times of my life, it was so comforting to have a team at Hornberger and Verbitsky who ALWAYS responded in record speed to my questions, phone calls, emails or texts and who I felt really cared about helping me through this difficult time. It was a long few years and I am grateful to all of you. Thank you so much Rob, AnneMarie, Christine, Patty, Joan and Lawrence. Your guidance, professionalism and expertise is appreciated beyond measure.
Paul Carmichael
Paul Carmichael
16:21 11 Dec 23
I would give 6 stars if I could. I can't say enough good things about Robert and his firm. We were in a situation for over 2 years and I could have never made it through without Robert's experience and knowledge. He guided me through tough times when needed and his expertise could "read" the situation and make the next best move for me. He was tough when he needed to be tough (thankfully) and at the same time guided me through the process to make me feel comfortable in an uncomfortable situation. I would not want to go through this process without Robert and his team having my back. he helped move the case along and not waste any time or money. One last time, I 100% endorse Robert and his expertise.
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Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., P.C. respects your right to privacy. We will never sell your information to any third party. Follow this link to read our full privacy policy.

How To Work with a Guardian Ad Litem on Long Island, NY

How To Work with a Guardian Ad Litem on Long Island, NY

How To Work with a Guardian Ad Litem on Long Island, NY

What to Expect When Working with a Guardian Ad Litem on Long Island, New York  

In divorce proceedings involving child custody on Long Island, New York, it can be challenging for the court to understand what is best for your child. That is where a guardian ad litem comes into play. A guardian ad litem is an officer of the court, but they are not an attorney – instead, they are tasked with representing the best interests of your child (or children).

If your divorce case involves a guardian ad litem, it’s important to understand the role of this individual, what they can do, and how to interact with them to promote a successful outcome.

What Is a Guardian Ad Litem?

The term “guardian ad litem” might sound intimidating. But really, this person’s job is simple: They are a court-appointed, objective body responsible for looking out for the best interests of someone who cannot represent themselves. These individuals are often employed in child custody cases but can also be used in elder law or cases involving an incapacitated or incarcerated person.

What Should You Expect When Working with a Guardian Ad Litem on Long Island, NY?

Many people refer to the guardian ad litem as the “eyes and ears” of children in a divorce case. Because people under 18 cannot appear in court on their own behalf, the guardian is tasked with advocating for them. To gain an accurate picture of the child’s life and make recommendations about their best interests, the guardian will conduct an in-depth investigation.

This may involve visiting places and situations that are part of the minor’s life. For instance, a guardian ad litem will often visit the child’s school as well as each parent’s residence. They will also conduct detailed interviews. Then, they will report back to the court and make a recommendation concerning custody and visitation issues.

Judges typically hold these reports in high esteem, so it’s important that you take the involvement of a guardian ad litem seriously and put forth a strong effort to impress them. Make sure you are honest and upfront while putting your best foot forward.

Who Pays for the Guardian Ad Litem on Long Island, New York?

Compensation for a guardian ad litem is drawn from the financial resources at stake in your divorce case – likely, your marital assets. The court is responsible for reviewing the guardian ad litem’s fees and ensuring they are reasonable, but typically you will pay for the guardian at litem from your divorce estate.

Will Your Long Island, NY Divorce Case Require a Guardian Ad Litem?

Not every Long Island, NY divorce case involving children will require a guardian ad litem. The court usually appoints one of these guardians only if they have a reason to believe there are problems within the home that present a risk to your child’s well-being. For instance, guardians are often used in cases involving neglect or abuse. Generally, the court will list its reasons for appointing a guardian ad litem in the related court order.

It’s also important to note that the court is not the only party that can request a guardian ad litem be involved in your case. New York Law (Chapter 8, Article 12, Section 1202: Statute on Appointment of Guardian Ad Litem) states that the topic can come before the court upon a motion by any of the following:

  • A party to the divorce action (i.e., either parent)
  • A relative, friend, or conservator
  • The children themselves, if they’re over 14 years old
  • The court, if required by circumstances or if parents have indicated there will be contested issues around how the child is raised.

Can You Fire Your Guardian Ad Litem on Long Island, New York?

Generally speaking, once the guardian ad litem is appointed, a judge is the only person who can discharge them. That said, if you feel your guardian is acting inappropriately, you have options. You can bring a motion requesting that the guardian be discharged – though you will need to express your reasoning. Ultimately, the decision rests in the hands of the judge.

Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. Is a Trusted Family Law Firm on Long Island, New York

If you have questions about a guardian ad litem in your divorce case or if one has already been appointed and you need help navigating the situation, don’t hesitate to reach out. We have extensive experience working with court-appointed guardians, and we can help you achieve a resolution that benefits everyone.

Contact us to learn more about your legal options or to book your free initial consultation to discuss your case in detail. Call now at 631-923-1910 or complete our short contact form and we’ll get in touch with you.

GET YOUR FREE CONSULTATION TODAY
Call 631-923-1910 or fill in the form below

Get your complimentary consultation and case evaluation with our experienced attorneys today.

Your attorney will describe the many options available and determine together which is the right solution for you. By the end of this  conversation, we’ll all understand how we can best help you to move forward.

No Cost or Obligation

There is no cost or obligation for this initial consultation. It is simply an opportunity for us to get to know each other, answer your questions and learn if Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. is right the right law firm for you. Give us a call at 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form below for your free consultation and case evaluation.

All Fields Are Required

* indicates required

About the Author

Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., Founding Partner, Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.

  • Over 20 years practicing matrimonial law
  • Over 1,000 cases successfully resolved
  • Founder and Partner of Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.
  • Experienced and compassionate Long Island Divorce Attorney, Family Law Attorney, and Divorce Mediator
  • Licensed to practice law in the State of New York
  • New York State Bar Association member
  • Nassau County Bar Association member
  • Suffolk County Bar Association member
  • “Super Lawyer” Metro Rising Star
  • Nominated Best of Long Island Divorce Attorney four consecutive years
  • Alternative Dispute Resolution Committee Contributor
  • Collaborative Law Association of New York – Former Director
  • Martindale Hubbell Distinguished Designation
  • America’s Most Honored Professionals – Top 5%
  • Lead Counsel Rated – Divorce Law
  • American Institute of Family Law Attorneys 10 Best
  • International Academy of Collaborative Professionals
  • Graduate of Hofstra University School of Law
  • Double Bachelor’s degrees in Philosophy, Politics & Law and History from SUNY Binghamton University
Divorce Lawyer Long Island New York
Melissa Rappa
Melissa Rappa
18:09 08 Feb 24
At one of the hardest and most stressful times of my life, it was so comforting to have a team at Hornberger and Verbitsky who ALWAYS responded in record speed to my questions, phone calls, emails or texts and who I felt really cared about helping me through this difficult time. It was a long few years and I am grateful to all of you. Thank you so much Rob, AnneMarie, Christine, Patty, Joan and Lawrence. Your guidance, professionalism and expertise is appreciated beyond measure.
Paul Carmichael
Paul Carmichael
16:21 11 Dec 23
I would give 6 stars if I could. I can't say enough good things about Robert and his firm. We were in a situation for over 2 years and I could have never made it through without Robert's experience and knowledge. He guided me through tough times when needed and his expertise could "read" the situation and make the next best move for me. He was tough when he needed to be tough (thankfully) and at the same time guided me through the process to make me feel comfortable in an uncomfortable situation. I would not want to go through this process without Robert and his team having my back. he helped move the case along and not waste any time or money. One last time, I 100% endorse Robert and his expertise.
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Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., P.C. respects your right to privacy. We will never sell your information to any third party. Follow this link to read our full privacy policy.

How to Get Temporary Child Custody with an Order of Protection in NY

How to Get Temporary Child Custody with an Order of Protection in NY

How to Get Temporary Child Custody with an Order of Protection in NY

When you’re feeling threatened in any way, an Order of Protection can be an incredibly valuable legal tool to protect you from the threatening party, even if that party is your spouse or ex-spouse. What happens, though, when you pursue this order, and there are children involved? 

First, let’s be clear. If your safety or that of your children is at risk, request an Order of Protection immediately and report the crime to the police. Our experienced Long Island, NY family attorneys can help you every step of the way through this process.

What Happens When You File an Order of Protection?

An Order of Protection is assigned specifically to mitigate your risks. It can order a person to stay away from you, the protected person, and have no contact with them. It serves as a warning not to commit any acts that would be considered harmful to that person. 

There are two specific types of orders that may apply:

  • Stay-away orders: These require that the named party not have any contact with the protected individual. That includes both direct contact as well as through third parties. That may include social media or texting, for example.
  • Refrain-from orders: Sometimes referred to as limited orders, this type of legal requirement requires the named party to refrain from certain acts or offenses related to the protected party. That includes stalking, harassing, or assaulting. An ex-spouse cannot bully you, for example.

Our legal team will work with you to pursue the best type of protection order for your situation so that a Nassua County or Suffolk County court judge will issue the most appropriate type of order for your situation..

How Does Child Custody Play a Role in This?

The next consideration is child custody. If you file an Order of Protection in a Long Island, NY court, you can request that the court provide you with temporary custody of your children. Depending on how the judge writes the Order, it may provide some provisions for visitation and may still require payment for spousal or child support. It may protect parental rights as outlined in a divorce settlement, but the details matter here.

For example, if the court determines the child is at risk for being abused in any way, the Order of Protection could require further investigation and a pause to such visitation if there is danger to the child.

Will a Judge Strip Custody If an Order of Protection Is Awarded?

Unfortunately, there are many situations where these types of Orders are necessary because of child abuse or domestic violence. When that is the case, a judge will use that information in evaluating any visitation or child custody rights. The job of the judge is ultimately to determine what is best for the child. 

If the Order of Protection is not based on violence and seems to be a dispute between just the parents, the court may not automatically eliminate custody or visitation of a child. They may, however, modify how that visitation occurs in stay-away orders to prevent the interaction between parents.

Here Is Why You Need a Family Law Attorney on Long Island, NY

An Order of Protection is a serious legal remedy. When you petition the court for an Order of Protection, you need to provide as much detail and a compelling reason for it. That often means having evidence, witness statements, and comprehensive information that can show the court there’s a real risk here. To ensure that temporary custody is awarded to you in these situations, you also need to show that there’s a risk to the child in the current situation.

This is not simple to do. Our experienced and knowledgeable family law attorneys can provide you with comprehensive help:

  • Determine which court to seek help in. Family court tends to focus on family offenses such as harassment, sexual abuse, disorderly conduct, and reckless endangerment claims. The criminal court will focus on abuse protective orders, which are often issued at the time of the party’s arraignment.
  • Provide you with support in proving your case. We will work with you to present all evidence available to prove what occurred to you was unjust and warrants this order placement.
  • Provide the judge with a reason to award temporary custody. Our family attorneys will then work to show the court that awarding you child custody is a critical move to protect your child.

Don’t make the mistake during child custody battles to assume you can prove your case. Let us help.

What You Should Do Right Now to Protect Yourself and Your Children with an Order of Protection

At Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C., we recognize the risks you are facing and your need for immediate, confidential help. Don’t assume that filing for temporary custody or an Order of Protection is going to be a simple, straightforward process. We can and use the full power of the law to protect your rights and the rights of your children. Contact us now for a free initial consultation and case evaluation. Our team is ready to help you when you call 691-923-1910

GET YOUR FREE CONSULTATION TODAY
Call 631-923-1910 or fill in the form below

Get your complimentary consultation and case evaluation with our experienced attorneys today.

Your attorney will describe the many options available and determine together which is the right solution for you. By the end of this  conversation, we’ll all understand how we can best help you to move forward.

No Cost or Obligation

There is no cost or obligation for this initial consultation. It is simply an opportunity for us to get to know each other, answer your questions and learn if Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. is right the right law firm for you. Give us a call at 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form below for your free consultation and case evaluation.

All Fields Are Required

* indicates required

About the Author

Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., Founding Partner, Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.

  • Over 20 years practicing matrimonial law
  • Over 1,000 cases successfully resolved
  • Founder and Partner of Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.
  • Experienced and compassionate Long Island Divorce Attorney, Family Law Attorney, and Divorce Mediator
  • Licensed to practice law in the State of New York
  • New York State Bar Association member
  • Nassau County Bar Association member
  • Suffolk County Bar Association member
  • “Super Lawyer” Metro Rising Star
  • Nominated Best of Long Island Divorce Attorney four consecutive years
  • Alternative Dispute Resolution Committee Contributor
  • Collaborative Law Association of New York – Former Director
  • Martindale Hubbell Distinguished Designation
  • America’s Most Honored Professionals – Top 5%
  • Lead Counsel Rated – Divorce Law
  • American Institute of Family Law Attorneys 10 Best
  • International Academy of Collaborative Professionals
  • Graduate of Hofstra University School of Law
  • Double Bachelor’s degrees in Philosophy, Politics & Law and History from SUNY Binghamton University
Divorce Lawyer Long Island New York
Melissa Rappa
Melissa Rappa
18:09 08 Feb 24
At one of the hardest and most stressful times of my life, it was so comforting to have a team at Hornberger and Verbitsky who ALWAYS responded in record speed to my questions, phone calls, emails or texts and who I felt really cared about helping me through this difficult time. It was a long few years and I am grateful to all of you. Thank you so much Rob, AnneMarie, Christine, Patty, Joan and Lawrence. Your guidance, professionalism and expertise is appreciated beyond measure.
Paul Carmichael
Paul Carmichael
16:21 11 Dec 23
I would give 6 stars if I could. I can't say enough good things about Robert and his firm. We were in a situation for over 2 years and I could have never made it through without Robert's experience and knowledge. He guided me through tough times when needed and his expertise could "read" the situation and make the next best move for me. He was tough when he needed to be tough (thankfully) and at the same time guided me through the process to make me feel comfortable in an uncomfortable situation. I would not want to go through this process without Robert and his team having my back. he helped move the case along and not waste any time or money. One last time, I 100% endorse Robert and his expertise.
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Child Support & Spousal Maintenance Tools
Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., P.C. respects your right to privacy. We will never sell your information to any third party. Follow this link to read our full privacy policy.

Who Makes Religious Decisions in a New York Child Custody Case?

Who Makes Religious Decisions in a New York Child Custody Case?

Who Makes Religious Decisions in a New York Child Custody Case?

You have very strong religious beliefs you want to instill in your child as they get older, but their other parent is very much against your wishes. Who makes religious decisions for a child under New York state law? Like all other major child-rearing decisions, religion can be a difficult issue to navigate when your co-parent objects.

Child custody and the decision-making that comes with are some of the most complex and challenging aspects of any divorce. It’s a bit easier to manage when parents agree on important topics, such as education and healthcare, but when you can’t agree, the law offers some insights into who gets to make what decisions for the child. Let’s take a look at how religion-based decisions are made in New York state courts.

Long Island, NY Has a Diverse Mix of Religions

People in New York, as elsewhere in the world, are passionate about their religion. The Pew Research Center found that, across New York, about 60% of people identify as Christian, with 31% as Catholic, 11% as Mainline Protestant, and 10% as Evangelical Protestant. About 12% follow a non-Christian faith, with about 7% aligning with the Jewish faith and 2% with Muslim. Only about 5% state they are atheists. With so much diversity, it’s easy to see that religion could become a very big factor in any child custody matter.

Decision-Making in a Long Island, NY Divorce Case Comes Down to the Best Interests of the Child

New York Courts require that all decisions made for a child are made in the best interests of that child. Who can say, though, that one religious practice or another is “best?”

First, if there is no court order in place for the child, either parent can make those decisions, and both share equal rights to do so. Let’s assume you are divorcing and working toward a child custody agreement.

Who has legal custody?

Under New York state law, the parent with legal custody of the child has the right to make key decisions about the child’s religious upbringing. Legal custody will be clearly defined and awarded in most child custody battles. In cases of sole legal custody, that person is the decision maker.

What happens in joint custody matters?

In some custody battles, the court awards joint custody, meaning both parents share the right to make decisions regarding medical care, religion, and education. In this situation, the court expects both parents to work together to resolve disagreements like this. Ultimately, in this case, both parents must agree on the decision.

What happens when you do not agree?

Religion is a very complicated topic, and some divorces happen as a direct result of the spiritual beliefs of one parent or the other. When you cannot come to an agreement about the decisions for your child, the court will have to decide this issue for you.

The U.S. Constitution forbids any court from deciding what religion a child should practice. However, it can assign specific rights to make that decision to one parent. The court can provide one parent with a “spheres of influence” designation. This means that parent is given the right to make decisions about one specific topic for the child, such as religion, even if sole legal custody is not awarded to that person. It’s wise that if you’re going to ask the court to make such an important decision, you have an experienced Long Island, NY child custody attorney ready to help you navigate this process.

How Does the Court Decide Who Should Make Religious Decisions?

Assigning legal custody or granting a sphere of influence to one parent is done based on all available facts. Some of the key areas the court will consider include:

  • The religious history of the family. Has the family followed a religion for a long time? If the child is older and has spent 10 years focused on one religion, but a parent wishes to change that to a different religion, the court may be more likely to side with the long-term beliefs.
  • The impact of a religion-based change on the child. What is in the best interests of the child from the perspective of the court? How will a change impact the child?
  • Safety and health risks. If there are significant concerns about the safety or health of a child if they were to follow one religion or another, that could be considered an important factor.

Keep in mind that New York state courts cannot tell the other parent to hide their religion or lack of religion from the child, even if they do not have sole legal custody. That means the court cannot tell one parent not to talk about their religion with their child. If you feel your child is at risk in any way, contact our veteran child custody attorneys on Long Island, NY for immediate help.

What Decisions Can the Parent with Legal Custody Make?

When a parent has legal custody of a child, they can make decisions for all aspects of the upbringing of that child, including:

  • If a religion is followed
  • The child’s religious education
  • Religious-based diets
  • Religious ceremonies
  • Practices in the home that are religion-based

Are You Struggling with Determining the Religious Beliefs of Your Child? Let Our Skilled Divorce Attorneys on Long Island, NY Help You

Whether you want to fight for sole legal custody or are facing risks to your child’s wellbeing and hope to have existing judgments changed, our highly compassionate and skilled child custody attorneys are ready to help you.

Contact our Long Island law firm now for a complimentary divorce and family law consultation at 631-923-1910.

GET YOUR FREE CONSULTATION TODAY
Call 631-923-1910 or fill in the form below

Get your complimentary consultation and case evaluation with our experienced attorneys today.

Your attorney will describe the many options available and determine together which is the right solution for you. By the end of this  conversation, we’ll all understand how we can best help you to move forward.

No Cost or Obligation

There is no cost or obligation for this initial consultation. It is simply an opportunity for us to get to know each other, answer your questions and learn if Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. is right the right law firm for you. Give us a call at 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form below for your free consultation and case evaluation.

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About the Author

Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., Founding Partner, Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.

  • Over 20 years practicing matrimonial law
  • Over 1,000 cases successfully resolved
  • Founder and Partner of Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.
  • Experienced and compassionate Long Island Divorce Attorney, Family Law Attorney, and Divorce Mediator
  • Licensed to practice law in the State of New York
  • New York State Bar Association member
  • Nassau County Bar Association member
  • Suffolk County Bar Association member
  • “Super Lawyer” Metro Rising Star
  • Nominated Best of Long Island Divorce Attorney four consecutive years
  • Alternative Dispute Resolution Committee Contributor
  • Collaborative Law Association of New York – Former Director
  • Martindale Hubbell Distinguished Designation
  • America’s Most Honored Professionals – Top 5%
  • Lead Counsel Rated – Divorce Law
  • American Institute of Family Law Attorneys 10 Best
  • International Academy of Collaborative Professionals
  • Graduate of Hofstra University School of Law
  • Double Bachelor’s degrees in Philosophy, Politics & Law and History from SUNY Binghamton University
Divorce Lawyer Long Island New York
Melissa Rappa
Melissa Rappa
18:09 08 Feb 24
At one of the hardest and most stressful times of my life, it was so comforting to have a team at Hornberger and Verbitsky who ALWAYS responded in record speed to my questions, phone calls, emails or texts and who I felt really cared about helping me through this difficult time. It was a long few years and I am grateful to all of you. Thank you so much Rob, AnneMarie, Christine, Patty, Joan and Lawrence. Your guidance, professionalism and expertise is appreciated beyond measure.
Paul Carmichael
Paul Carmichael
16:21 11 Dec 23
I would give 6 stars if I could. I can't say enough good things about Robert and his firm. We were in a situation for over 2 years and I could have never made it through without Robert's experience and knowledge. He guided me through tough times when needed and his expertise could "read" the situation and make the next best move for me. He was tough when he needed to be tough (thankfully) and at the same time guided me through the process to make me feel comfortable in an uncomfortable situation. I would not want to go through this process without Robert and his team having my back. he helped move the case along and not waste any time or money. One last time, I 100% endorse Robert and his expertise.
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What to Know About Parental Rights After NY Criminal Conviction

What to Know About Parental Rights After NY Criminal Conviction

What to Know About Parental Rights After NY Criminal Conviction

Even in the best of situations, parents face many unexpected challenges on their journeys to raise their children. When family legal issues, such as a criminal conviction, enters the picture, things can become exponentially more complicated. Parents may be at risk of losing their rights to be involved in their children’s lives. Learn how you can navigate this emotionally charged territory and protect the best interests of your children, and yourself.

Understanding How Criminal Convictions Impact Parental Rights

The consequences of a criminal conviction are far-reaching, especially for parents who are involved in family legal issues like divorce and child custody. While parents who commit crimes are at risk of losing their rights, this doesn’t happen automatically after a conviction.

Courts must determine if the parent’s criminal behavior actually poses a safety risk to the child, since the law recognizes that children benefit greatly when they maintain a meaningful relationship with their caregivers.

The Legal Process for Deciding Parental Rights Post-Conviction

Determining whether a parent’s criminal history will affect their rights usually involves multiple assessments, hearings, and meetings with child advocacy professionals. A key consideration is the nature and severity of the parent’s criminal actions.

Crimes that are related to child abuse, endangerment, or other serious offenses typically raise immediate concerns with family courts or child protective services. Even so, parents are usually given a chance to show they’re committed to providing a safe and stable environment for their child.

Alternatives to the Termination of Parental Rights

If a child needs protection, but it’s not in their best interests to sever the parent-child relationship, a court may decide to explore alternatives like:

Supervised Visitation

Supervised visitation is a court-ordered arrangement where a trained professional oversees the interaction between a parent and their child for a specific period of time. The goal of supervised visitation is to create a safe and supportive environment for the child that allows them to cultivate a rewarding relationship with their caregiver without putting the child at risk.

During the visit, the supervisor will document the interaction for the court to review later. They will also intervene on the spot if the parent neglects to follow visitation guidelines or engages in any behavior that poses a risk to the child’s safety. This could include warning the parent, ending the session early, or removing the child from the situation entirely and filing a petition to formally terminate that parent’s rights.

Supervised visitation is often complemented by additional supportive services, like counseling or parenting classes. These resources help provide parents who have criminal convictions the framework they need to rebuild a healthy and safe relationship with their child.

Reunification Therapy

Reunification is a specific therapeutic approach designed to help mend fractured family relationships after divorce, separation, or a parent’s criminal conviction. Within this framework, parents and children can work together with a trained therapist to rebuild trust and improve communication.

Reunification therapy is most often used in cases where there has been a disruption to the parent-child relationship, but a court determines that the child’s best interests are served by reintegrating the parent into the child’s life.

Fighting to Keep Your Parental Rights

If you find yourself in a situation where you’ve been convicted of a crime and a court is considering limiting your parental rights, it’s important that you take action right away. Don’t wait for the court to decide whether you are a fit parent – instead, take the initiative to show the court that you’re serious about rehabilitation and becoming a safe and stable part of your child’s life.

How Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. Can Help Protect Your Parental Rights

Working with a qualified Long Island, NY family lawyer is key to successfully keeping your parental rights after a criminal conviction. We can help you show the court that it’s in your child’s best interests for their relationship with you to remain intact and can fight for alternative options like supervised visitation or reunification therapy if you’re at risk of losing your rights.

Contact us today to learn more about how to protect your relationship with your child after a criminal conviction or to schedule your free initial consultation by calling 631-923-1910 or filling in the short form on this page.

GET YOUR FREE CONSULTATION TODAY
Call 631-923-1910 or fill in the form below

Get your complimentary consultation and case evaluation with our experienced attorneys today.

Your attorney will describe the many options available and determine together which is the right solution for you. By the end of this  conversation, we’ll all understand how we can best help you to move forward.

No Cost or Obligation

There is no cost or obligation for this initial consultation. It is simply an opportunity for us to get to know each other, answer your questions and learn if Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. is right the right law firm for you. Give us a call at 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form below for your free consultation and case evaluation.

All Fields Are Required

* indicates required

About the Author

Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., Founding Partner, Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.

  • Over 20 years practicing matrimonial law
  • Over 1,000 cases successfully resolved
  • Founder and Partner of Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.
  • Experienced and compassionate Long Island Divorce Attorney, Family Law Attorney, and Divorce Mediator
  • Licensed to practice law in the State of New York
  • New York State Bar Association member
  • Nassau County Bar Association member
  • Suffolk County Bar Association member
  • “Super Lawyer” Metro Rising Star
  • Nominated Best of Long Island Divorce Attorney four consecutive years
  • Alternative Dispute Resolution Committee Contributor
  • Collaborative Law Association of New York – Former Director
  • Martindale Hubbell Distinguished Designation
  • America’s Most Honored Professionals – Top 5%
  • Lead Counsel Rated – Divorce Law
  • American Institute of Family Law Attorneys 10 Best
  • International Academy of Collaborative Professionals
  • Graduate of Hofstra University School of Law
  • Double Bachelor’s degrees in Philosophy, Politics & Law and History from SUNY Binghamton University
Divorce Lawyer Long Island New York
Melissa Rappa
Melissa Rappa
18:09 08 Feb 24
At one of the hardest and most stressful times of my life, it was so comforting to have a team at Hornberger and Verbitsky who ALWAYS responded in record speed to my questions, phone calls, emails or texts and who I felt really cared about helping me through this difficult time. It was a long few years and I am grateful to all of you. Thank you so much Rob, AnneMarie, Christine, Patty, Joan and Lawrence. Your guidance, professionalism and expertise is appreciated beyond measure.
Paul Carmichael
Paul Carmichael
16:21 11 Dec 23
I would give 6 stars if I could. I can't say enough good things about Robert and his firm. We were in a situation for over 2 years and I could have never made it through without Robert's experience and knowledge. He guided me through tough times when needed and his expertise could "read" the situation and make the next best move for me. He was tough when he needed to be tough (thankfully) and at the same time guided me through the process to make me feel comfortable in an uncomfortable situation. I would not want to go through this process without Robert and his team having my back. he helped move the case along and not waste any time or money. One last time, I 100% endorse Robert and his expertise.
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Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., P.C. respects your right to privacy. We will never sell your information to any third party. Follow this link to read our full privacy policy.

Parallel Parenting: A Viable Option for High-Conflict Divorces

Parallel Parenting: A Viable Option for High-Conflict Divorces

Parallel Parenting: A Viable Option for High-Conflict Divorces

Parenting after divorce can be extraordinarily challenging, especially if you and your ex don’t really get along and can’t communicate effectively. If this is your situation, parallel parenting might be a viable option.

If you’ve never heard of the term “parallel parenting,” you’re not alone. It’s a relatively new phrase being used to describe an old form of parenting after divorce, where there’s as little contact between parents as possible. While regular communication between parents regarding their children might be the optimal situation for all involved, sometimes this is simply not possible if the parents cannot communicate without arguing or fighting. In these cases, parallel may be the only option.

Here’s what to know about parallel parenting and how to get the legal help you need from a qualified New York divorce lawyer when important child custody matters are on the table.

Parallel Parenting Defined

Parallel parenting refers to ex-spouses who parent their children alongside each other instead of with each other, which can be a great option for exes who can’t interact civilly. In these cases, the child spends time with each of their parents in the parent’s home and has a set schedule of when this happens. Other important matters, like where the child will go to school and what kind of healthcare they will receive, are also decided at the start of the parenting relationship.

This pre-planning allows parents to engage with their child on their own terms, without having to communicate or negotiate with the other parent. Both parents know what to expect and when to expect it, which eliminates surprises and potential disagreements about custody or visitation matters. However, both parents are barred from deviating from the agreement and aren’t able to talk to each other to work things out on the fly if the situation calls for it.

How is Parallel Parenting Different from Co-Parenting?

Parallel parenting and co-parenting are both intended to help preserve the relationships between children and their parents after a breakup or divorce. With co-parenting, exes typically work together to make decisions about their child’s health, education, and time spent with each parent. They can text or talk to each other about discipline, medical appointments, and changes to the schedule as needed.

With parallel parenting, however, responsibilities are clearly established at the start and each parent is required to abide by them exactly. This allows each parent to spend time with their child and be involved in their child’s life without having to interact or even talk to their ex.

For example, instead of using a co-parenting app to discuss which family your child will spend holidays with this year, the matter would have already been decided when the court order was originally issued. Both parents are responsible for picking up and dropping off the child at the predetermined time and place and if they don’t, it could become an issue of parental kidnapping.

Tips for Making Parallel Parenting Work for You

If you’re considering parallel parenting, there are a few things to keep in mind and some steps you can take to prepare, like:

  • Being ready to adhere to a strict schedule
  • Having a contingency plan already in place if one parent has to cancel their custody or visitation time (this is usually only permissible in the event of an emergency)
  • Outlining when and in what situations each parent has the power to make decisions for the child
  • Committing to not being in the same place at the same time with the other parent
  • Respecting the time that your child spends with their other parent
  • Not insulting or belittling your child’s other parent in front of them
  • Having a divorce mediator or family law attorney on hand to communicate with your ex on your behalf

How an Experienced New York Divorce Lawyer Can Help

If you have a child with someone you no longer want to be in a relationship or even communicate with, getting untangled can be an intimidating and frustrating process. Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. can help. Our veteran New York divorce and family law attorneys can go over your legal options and help you understand them so you can make informed decisions about your family’s future.

Contact us today to learn more about parallel parenting or to schedule your free initial consultation to talk about the details of your case and how to move forward. Call now by dialing 631-923-1910 or by completing our online contact form and we’ll get in touch with you as soon as possible to answer your questions.

GET YOUR FREE CONSULTATION TODAY
Call 631-923-1910 or fill in the form below

Get your complimentary consultation and case evaluation with our experienced attorneys today.

Your attorney will describe the many options available and determine together which is the right solution for you. By the end of this  conversation, we’ll all understand how we can best help you to move forward.

No Cost or Obligation

There is no cost or obligation for this initial consultation. It is simply an opportunity for us to get to know each other, answer your questions and learn if Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. is right the right law firm for you. Give us a call at 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form below for your free consultation and case evaluation.

All Fields Are Required

* indicates required

About the Author

Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., Founding Partner, Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.

  • Over 20 years practicing matrimonial law
  • Over 1,000 cases successfully resolved
  • Founder and Partner of Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.
  • Experienced and compassionate Long Island Divorce Attorney, Family Law Attorney, and Divorce Mediator
  • Licensed to practice law in the State of New York
  • New York State Bar Association member
  • Nassau County Bar Association member
  • Suffolk County Bar Association member
  • “Super Lawyer” Metro Rising Star
  • Nominated Best of Long Island Divorce Attorney four consecutive years
  • Alternative Dispute Resolution Committee Contributor
  • Collaborative Law Association of New York – Former Director
  • Martindale Hubbell Distinguished Designation
  • America’s Most Honored Professionals – Top 5%
  • Lead Counsel Rated – Divorce Law
  • American Institute of Family Law Attorneys 10 Best
  • International Academy of Collaborative Professionals
  • Graduate of Hofstra University School of Law
  • Double Bachelor’s degrees in Philosophy, Politics & Law and History from SUNY Binghamton University
Divorce Lawyer Long Island New York
Melissa Rappa
Melissa Rappa
18:09 08 Feb 24
At one of the hardest and most stressful times of my life, it was so comforting to have a team at Hornberger and Verbitsky who ALWAYS responded in record speed to my questions, phone calls, emails or texts and who I felt really cared about helping me through this difficult time. It was a long few years and I am grateful to all of you. Thank you so much Rob, AnneMarie, Christine, Patty, Joan and Lawrence. Your guidance, professionalism and expertise is appreciated beyond measure.
Paul Carmichael
Paul Carmichael
16:21 11 Dec 23
I would give 6 stars if I could. I can't say enough good things about Robert and his firm. We were in a situation for over 2 years and I could have never made it through without Robert's experience and knowledge. He guided me through tough times when needed and his expertise could "read" the situation and make the next best move for me. He was tough when he needed to be tough (thankfully) and at the same time guided me through the process to make me feel comfortable in an uncomfortable situation. I would not want to go through this process without Robert and his team having my back. he helped move the case along and not waste any time or money. One last time, I 100% endorse Robert and his expertise.
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Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., P.C. respects your right to privacy. We will never sell your information to any third party. Follow this link to read our full privacy policy.

How Video Visitation Can Keep Families Connected

How Video Visitation Can Keep Families Connected

How Video Visitation Can Keep Families Connected

Child Custody and Visitation are often two of the most challenging aspects of divorce for Long Island, NY families.

Family dynamics are constantly changing and sometimes this means the old ways of doing things just don’t work in many circumstances anymore. For many families, traditional visitation becomes difficult, if not impossible, due to external circumstances out of their control.

It’s still critically important for children in these circumstances to engage with their parents. When traditional child visitation is impractical or impossible, virtual visitation can address these issues. Here’s what to know about video visitation and when it might be right for you and your family.

Why Child Visitation and Parenting Time is Important

Courts understand that finding ways to move past barriers to visitation is key to the health and wellbeing of a child. When kids don’t have an ongoing relationship with one or both parents growing up, it can have a negative impact on their mental and emotional health. This often leads to problems like anxiety and depression later in life.

For a child to develop properly, it’s best for them to have a sincere, worthwhile relationship with each of their parents. Children need to know that they’re loved and supported, even if their parents no longer want a relationship with each other. Video visitation can help facilitate worthwhile engagement when other methods aren’t practicable.

The Definition of Video & Virtual Visitation

Video visitation is a type of online visitation that involves parents talking to their kids via webcam. While this is one of the main ways virtual visitation takes place, other forms of non-in-person visitation communication can also be included. Some of those practices include:

  • Phone calls
  • Emails
  • Letters via snail mail
  • Engagement on each other’s social media profiles
  • Texting and direct messages
  • Voice messages

Video visitation is often used in conjunction with other methods of virtual visitation to help create a solid foundation for a child’s relationship with their noncustodial parent.

When is Video Visitation Helpful?

Video visitation can be a great way for families to stay connected when they’re physically apart. For example, if one parent is staying out of town with the kids, the other can still visit with them. Or, if a parent is on an extended business trip, video or other virtual visitation techniques can help maintain the child-parent relationship with the parent out of town. Or, if a parent is going through rehabilitation, video visitation helps them stay meaningfully engaged with their children until traditional visits can be resumed.

Tips for Navigating Video Visitation Sessions

Video and virtual visitation can seem intimidating at first, especially if you’re entirely new to engaging with your child outside your previous family dynamic. Here are some tips to help you get started:  

  • Make sure your camera and microphone are working before video visitation visits. If you have a virtual video visit scheduled, take a few minutes before the appointment time to make sure everything is in working order. Check your video and audio to make sure that you can be seen and heard and that your speakers are on and in working order. Nothing can derail a virtual visitation in both the child and parent’s mind as technical difficulties and frustration getting the visit started. This can put such a negative spin on the whole experience that either or both parties may abandon the practice altogether.
  • Speak plainly and slowly, especially if your children are young. Take into account that there will probably be a bit of a delay in the audio and video feeds. Speak clearly and pause in between sentences so your children can understand you. Turn your volume up so you can hear and understand your child, too.
  • Write letters and send pictures or small gifts to your kids too. Tangible things like cards, photographs, and even small, inexpensive trinkets can be incredibly special to kids and help them feel more physically connected to their parents in between virtual visits. While it may seem “old fashioned”, there is still something special about receiving a letter in the “snail mail”. It shows you took the time and are thinking about them even when you’re not able to communicate virtually.
  • If your children are older, interact with them on social media. Liking and commenting on your child’s posts are a great way to connect with them using their language. Just be sure the court knows of your activity and you haven’t been barred from social media engagement with your child for any reason. And make sure your child appreciates communicating in this way. Many children consider social media “their thing” and may feel their parent is intruding on their personal life.

How an Experienced and Qualified Long Island, NY Child Custody Lawyer Can Help with Virtual Visitation

If you’re going through a child custody dispute and need creative visitation arrangements, you need an experienced divorce lawyer and family law attorney on your side. At Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C., our qualified Long Island, NY divorce and family attorneys have a solid track record of success and can apply their skills and expertise to your case for the best possible outcome.

Contact us today for more information or to book a free initial consultation to discuss your case in detail with one of our lawyers. Call now at 631-923-1910 or fill out our quick online message form and our team will get back to you as soon as possible. We’re standing by to assist you with all of your family legal needs.

GET YOUR FREE CONSULTATION TODAY
Call 631-923-1910 or fill in the form below

Get your complimentary consultation and case evaluation with our experienced attorneys today.

Your attorney will describe the many options available and determine together which is the right solution for you. By the end of this  conversation, we’ll all understand how we can best help you to move forward.

No Cost or Obligation

There is no cost or obligation for this initial consultation. It is simply an opportunity for us to get to know each other, answer your questions and learn if Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. is right the right law firm for you. Give us a call at 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form below for your free consultation and case evaluation.

All Fields Are Required

* indicates required

About the Author

Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., Founding Partner, Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.

  • Over 20 years practicing matrimonial law
  • Over 1,000 cases successfully resolved
  • Founder and Partner of Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.
  • Experienced and compassionate Long Island Divorce Attorney, Family Law Attorney, and Divorce Mediator
  • Licensed to practice law in the State of New York
  • New York State Bar Association member
  • Nassau County Bar Association member
  • Suffolk County Bar Association member
  • “Super Lawyer” Metro Rising Star
  • Nominated Best of Long Island Divorce Attorney four consecutive years
  • Alternative Dispute Resolution Committee Contributor
  • Collaborative Law Association of New York – Former Director
  • Martindale Hubbell Distinguished Designation
  • America’s Most Honored Professionals – Top 5%
  • Lead Counsel Rated – Divorce Law
  • American Institute of Family Law Attorneys 10 Best
  • International Academy of Collaborative Professionals
  • Graduate of Hofstra University School of Law
  • Double Bachelor’s degrees in Philosophy, Politics & Law and History from SUNY Binghamton University
Divorce Lawyer Long Island New York
Melissa Rappa
Melissa Rappa
18:09 08 Feb 24
At one of the hardest and most stressful times of my life, it was so comforting to have a team at Hornberger and Verbitsky who ALWAYS responded in record speed to my questions, phone calls, emails or texts and who I felt really cared about helping me through this difficult time. It was a long few years and I am grateful to all of you. Thank you so much Rob, AnneMarie, Christine, Patty, Joan and Lawrence. Your guidance, professionalism and expertise is appreciated beyond measure.
Paul Carmichael
Paul Carmichael
16:21 11 Dec 23
I would give 6 stars if I could. I can't say enough good things about Robert and his firm. We were in a situation for over 2 years and I could have never made it through without Robert's experience and knowledge. He guided me through tough times when needed and his expertise could "read" the situation and make the next best move for me. He was tough when he needed to be tough (thankfully) and at the same time guided me through the process to make me feel comfortable in an uncomfortable situation. I would not want to go through this process without Robert and his team having my back. he helped move the case along and not waste any time or money. One last time, I 100% endorse Robert and his expertise.
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Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., P.C. respects your right to privacy. We will never sell your information to any third party. Follow this link to read our full privacy policy.

What to Do If You’re Being Alienated from Your Child

What to Do If You’re Being Alienated from Your Child

What to Do If You’re Being Alienated from Your Child

One of the most heartbreaking things that can happen to a parent during a divorce is becoming alienated from their children. Sadly, this alienation often caused by the actions of the other parent in an effort to “get back at” or enact retribution for perceived prior transgressions of the alienated parent. Not only does this hurt the alienated parent, but it can have serious negative impacts on a child’s emotional and mental wellbeing, especially when they become unable to connect to either parent in a meaningful way.

If you suspect you’re becoming a victim of parental alienation, it’s important to understand what to look for and how you can get legal assistance to help you protect your family.

#1. Justifying Alienating Actions

Usually, the parent doing the alienating will go through a period of justifying their actions to anyone who will listen. They’ll give reasons as to why they’re trying to keep the kids away from the other parent, even if they’re not true. Their reasoning also tends to be vague, without specific incidents to back it up, like “I just don’t trust them,” or “they’re not acting right.”

#2. Acting as Though Their Ex Is Abusing The Children

A parent doing the alienating will often start to project the things they are doing to harm the children onto their ex, suggesting that it’s actually the ex that’s engaging in troubling behaviors.

For example, they may become hypervigilant and convinced that the children are being abused in the alienated parent’s care. They may examine the children for signs of physical abuse and can become overly protective of where the children go or what they’re doing at any given time.

And even when there’s no evidence to corroborate the claims, the alienating parent maintains their position, potentially even going so far as to suggest that other people are covering for the ex.

#3. Convincing the Children As Though They Are Being Abused

Once the alienating parent is thoroughly enveloped in their beliefs, they begin to convince their children that they’re being abused. Children going through a divorce or the breakup of their parents are frightened, angry, and unsure of how to keep themselves safe. They often pick up on the emotions of their caregivers and mirror their behaviors.

And when a parent believes that their children are being harmed, whether there is evidence for it or not, children become in tune with that experience. Soon, they start to believe that the other parent is abusive too, even if the alienated parent hasn’t done or said anything of the sort.

#4. Reinforcing the Alienation

As the children start acting fearful and upset on their own, the alienating parent doesn’t realize that it’s their own behaviors that are influencing them. Instead, they think that their own emotions are justified and the children are responding to the actions of the “abusive” parent.

This acts as a reinforcement mechanism, perpetuating the emotions and beliefs of both the alienating parent and the child as they feed off and mirror each other.

#5. Ignoring Reality

In the final stage of parental alienation, the beliefs have become ingrained and any evidence to the contrary is ignored. Alienated parents who continue to try to have relationships with their children are often demonized no matter what they do. Any good they accomplish is written off or twisted to appear abusive or self-serving.

Reality essentially doesn’t matter at this point and the damage is nearly completely done. It can be difficult to repair relationships with your children once alienation gets to this stage, but it’s not impossible.

When To Get a Qualified Long Island, NY Divorce Lawyer On Board

If you suspect your child is being alienated from you by your ex, it’s important to talk to a family law attorney who can help you better understand your rights and what you can do to protect yourself and your relationship with your children. At Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C., we can provide you with the aggressive and zealous legal representation you need to stand up to someone trying to alienate you from your kids.

Contact us today for a free consultation to learn more about your parental rights, especially if you’re a father getting a Long Island, NY divorce. Dial 631-923-1910 now or fill out our short online contact form and our team of family legal professionals will get back to you as soon as we can to schedule a free consultation and case evaluation.

GET YOUR FREE CONSULTATION TODAY
Call 631-923-1910 or fill in the form below

Get your complimentary consultation and case evaluation with our experienced attorneys today.

Your attorney will describe the many options available and determine together which is the right solution for you. By the end of this  conversation, we’ll all understand how we can best help you to move forward.

No Cost or Obligation

There is no cost or obligation for this initial consultation. It is simply an opportunity for us to get to know each other, answer your questions and learn if Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. is right the right law firm for you. Give us a call at 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form below for your free consultation and case evaluation.

All Fields Are Required

* indicates required

About the Author

Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., Founding Partner, Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.

  • Over 20 years practicing matrimonial law
  • Over 1,000 cases successfully resolved
  • Founder and Partner of Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.
  • Experienced and compassionate Long Island Divorce Attorney, Family Law Attorney, and Divorce Mediator
  • Licensed to practice law in the State of New York
  • New York State Bar Association member
  • Nassau County Bar Association member
  • Suffolk County Bar Association member
  • “Super Lawyer” Metro Rising Star
  • Nominated Best of Long Island Divorce Attorney four consecutive years
  • Alternative Dispute Resolution Committee Contributor
  • Collaborative Law Association of New York – Former Director
  • Martindale Hubbell Distinguished Designation
  • America’s Most Honored Professionals – Top 5%
  • Lead Counsel Rated – Divorce Law
  • American Institute of Family Law Attorneys 10 Best
  • International Academy of Collaborative Professionals
  • Graduate of Hofstra University School of Law
  • Double Bachelor’s degrees in Philosophy, Politics & Law and History from SUNY Binghamton University
Divorce Lawyer Long Island New York
Melissa Rappa
Melissa Rappa
18:09 08 Feb 24
At one of the hardest and most stressful times of my life, it was so comforting to have a team at Hornberger and Verbitsky who ALWAYS responded in record speed to my questions, phone calls, emails or texts and who I felt really cared about helping me through this difficult time. It was a long few years and I am grateful to all of you. Thank you so much Rob, AnneMarie, Christine, Patty, Joan and Lawrence. Your guidance, professionalism and expertise is appreciated beyond measure.
Paul Carmichael
Paul Carmichael
16:21 11 Dec 23
I would give 6 stars if I could. I can't say enough good things about Robert and his firm. We were in a situation for over 2 years and I could have never made it through without Robert's experience and knowledge. He guided me through tough times when needed and his expertise could "read" the situation and make the next best move for me. He was tough when he needed to be tough (thankfully) and at the same time guided me through the process to make me feel comfortable in an uncomfortable situation. I would not want to go through this process without Robert and his team having my back. he helped move the case along and not waste any time or money. One last time, I 100% endorse Robert and his expertise.
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How Courts Evaluate Fathers in Child Custody Cases in NY

How Courts Evaluate Fathers in Child Custody Cases in NY

How Courts Evaluate Fathers in Child Custody Cases in NY

Getting divorced is an emotional and stressful experience for all involved, but as a divorced or divorcing father you have special and unique concerns. One of the biggest issues for divorced dads on Long Island, NY are issues surrounding child custody and child support. It can be difficult to navigate the New York state legal system, especially when it comes to proving to the court that you’re a fit parent and that it would be in your child’s best interests to be in your care.

Here’s what you can expect during the child custody evaluation process and how to get qualified legal help when dissolving your marriage.

Child Custody Evaluations in NY Explained

Any time two parents separate, important decisions need to be made about who will be primarily responsible for the child and where the child will primarily live. New York courts consider the best interests of the child above all, so before awarding custody to one parent or the other, a judge will order a custody evaluation to assess which parent is the best fit for the child’s specific needs.

An evaluator then visits the parents’ homes and checks for specific things like:

#1. Your Physical & Mental Health

The court will want to make sure that you are physically and mentally capable of providing care to your child while they’re with you. They may ask several questions about your health history, your mental state, and any conditions that you were diagnosed with by a physician and the medications you may have been prescribed to treat those conditions.

The court will also assess if you have a history of violence of any kind, especially against vulnerable individuals like the elderly, animals, and children.

#2. The Location of Your Home

Where your home is located in relation to your child’s school and extracurricular activities is also a major consideration for where your child will stay during the school year. If you live far away from your child’s school and other events, courts may consider an alternative custody arrangement where your child stays with you primarily throughout the summer and with his or her mother during the school year. They stay with the parent located closest to their school so they can easily commute back and forth.

The court will also take note of the neighborhood that you live in and how safe the area is for children. You’ll need to have a reasonably clean home and show that you have enough space for your child to have an area of their own.

#3. How Much You Earn

The judge will also want to make sure that you are earning enough money to be able to provide for your child while they’re in your home. This is generally calculated after your familial financial responsibilities like alimony and child support.

If a judge determines that you don’t currently earn enough to provide stable housing for you to be considered for full custody, you may still be able to petition for joint custody and/or frequent visitation. The state of New York understands how important it is for children to maintain strong family bonds and generally only deny custody or visitation in situations where it would be harmful to the child.

#4. Your Work Schedule

How often you work, for what hours, and for how long are all things that will play a significant role in how child custody is determined. You will need to be able to show that you primarily work while your child is not at home and that you have the ability, as needed, to take time off for doctor’s appointments, extracurriculars, and just to spend quality time with your child.

If you are extremely busy with work or travel a lot, this could potentially have an impact on how a judge decides to allocate child custody and visitation time.

When To Contact an Experienced Long Island, NY Divorce Lawyer

If you are a divorcing father, don’t wait to get experienced legal help from a qualified Long Island NY, family lawyer. An attorney with vast experience in this area of the law can help you better prepare for the custody evaluation process and make any arguments against decisions that afford you less contact with your child.

At Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C., we have the skills and experience to provide you with comprehensive child custody and divorce representation. Contact us today for more information about what you can expect during a child custody evaluation or to schedule your free initial consultation to discuss your case. Call now at 631-923-1910 or complete our short online contact form and our legal team will be happy to get back to you as quickly as possible.

GET YOUR FREE CONSULTATION TODAY
Call 631-923-1910 or fill in the form below

Get your complimentary consultation and case evaluation with our experienced attorneys today.

Your attorney will describe the many options available and determine together which is the right solution for you. By the end of this  conversation, we’ll all understand how we can best help you to move forward.

No Cost or Obligation

There is no cost or obligation for this initial consultation. It is simply an opportunity for us to get to know each other, answer your questions and learn if Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. is right the right law firm for you. Give us a call at 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form below for your free consultation and case evaluation.

All Fields Are Required

* indicates required

About the Author

Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., Founding Partner, Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.

  • Over 20 years practicing matrimonial law
  • Over 1,000 cases successfully resolved
  • Founder and Partner of Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.
  • Experienced and compassionate Long Island Divorce Attorney, Family Law Attorney, and Divorce Mediator
  • Licensed to practice law in the State of New York
  • New York State Bar Association member
  • Nassau County Bar Association member
  • Suffolk County Bar Association member
  • “Super Lawyer” Metro Rising Star
  • Nominated Best of Long Island Divorce Attorney four consecutive years
  • Alternative Dispute Resolution Committee Contributor
  • Collaborative Law Association of New York – Former Director
  • Martindale Hubbell Distinguished Designation
  • America’s Most Honored Professionals – Top 5%
  • Lead Counsel Rated – Divorce Law
  • American Institute of Family Law Attorneys 10 Best
  • International Academy of Collaborative Professionals
  • Graduate of Hofstra University School of Law
  • Double Bachelor’s degrees in Philosophy, Politics & Law and History from SUNY Binghamton University
Divorce Lawyer Long Island New York
Melissa Rappa
Melissa Rappa
18:09 08 Feb 24
At one of the hardest and most stressful times of my life, it was so comforting to have a team at Hornberger and Verbitsky who ALWAYS responded in record speed to my questions, phone calls, emails or texts and who I felt really cared about helping me through this difficult time. It was a long few years and I am grateful to all of you. Thank you so much Rob, AnneMarie, Christine, Patty, Joan and Lawrence. Your guidance, professionalism and expertise is appreciated beyond measure.
Paul Carmichael
Paul Carmichael
16:21 11 Dec 23
I would give 6 stars if I could. I can't say enough good things about Robert and his firm. We were in a situation for over 2 years and I could have never made it through without Robert's experience and knowledge. He guided me through tough times when needed and his expertise could "read" the situation and make the next best move for me. He was tough when he needed to be tough (thankfully) and at the same time guided me through the process to make me feel comfortable in an uncomfortable situation. I would not want to go through this process without Robert and his team having my back. he helped move the case along and not waste any time or money. One last time, I 100% endorse Robert and his expertise.
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Child Support & Spousal Maintenance Tools
Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., P.C. respects your right to privacy. We will never sell your information to any third party. Follow this link to read our full privacy policy.