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What to Do If You’re Being Alienated from Your Child

What to Do If You’re Being Alienated from Your Child

What to Do If You’re Being Alienated from Your Child

One of the most heartbreaking things that can happen to a parent during a divorce is becoming alienated from their children. Sadly, this alienation often caused by the actions of the other parent in an effort to “get back at” or enact retribution for perceived prior transgressions of the alienated parent. Not only does this hurt the alienated parent, but it can have serious negative impacts on a child’s emotional and mental wellbeing, especially when they become unable to connect to either parent in a meaningful way.

If you suspect you’re becoming a victim of parental alienation, it’s important to understand what to look for and how you can get legal assistance to help you protect your family.

Free New York Divorce Lawyer Consultation

#1. Justifying Alienating Actions

Usually, the parent doing the alienating will go through a period of justifying their actions to anyone who will listen. They’ll give reasons as to why they’re trying to keep the kids away from the other parent, even if they’re not true. Their reasoning also tends to be vague, without specific incidents to back it up, like “I just don’t trust them,” or “they’re not acting right.”

#2. Acting as Though Their Ex Is Abusing The Children

A parent doing the alienating will often start to project the things they are doing to harm the children onto their ex, suggesting that it’s actually the ex that’s engaging in troubling behaviors.

For example, they may become hypervigilant and convinced that the children are being abused in the alienated parent’s care. They may examine the children for signs of physical abuse and can become overly protective of where the children go or what they’re doing at any given time.

And even when there’s no evidence to corroborate the claims, the alienating parent maintains their position, potentially even going so far as to suggest that other people are covering for the ex.

#3. Convincing the Children As Though They Are Being Abused

Once the alienating parent is thoroughly enveloped in their beliefs, they begin to convince their children that they’re being abused. Children going through a divorce or the breakup of their parents are frightened, angry, and unsure of how to keep themselves safe. They often pick up on the emotions of their caregivers and mirror their behaviors.

And when a parent believes that their children are being harmed, whether there is evidence for it or not, children become in tune with that experience. Soon, they start to believe that the other parent is abusive too, even if the alienated parent hasn’t done or said anything of the sort.

#4. Reinforcing the Alienation

As the children start acting fearful and upset on their own, the alienating parent doesn’t realize that it’s their own behaviors that are influencing them. Instead, they think that their own emotions are justified and the children are responding to the actions of the “abusive” parent.

This acts as a reinforcement mechanism, perpetuating the emotions and beliefs of both the alienating parent and the child as they feed off and mirror each other.

#5. Ignoring Reality

In the final stage of parental alienation, the beliefs have become ingrained and any evidence to the contrary is ignored. Alienated parents who continue to try to have relationships with their children are often demonized no matter what they do. Any good they accomplish is written off or twisted to appear abusive or self-serving.

Reality essentially doesn’t matter at this point and the damage is nearly completely done. It can be difficult to repair relationships with your children once alienation gets to this stage, but it’s not impossible.

When To Get a Qualified Long Island, NY Divorce Lawyer On Board

If you suspect your child is being alienated from you by your ex, it’s important to talk to a family law attorney who can help you better understand your rights and what you can do to protect yourself and your relationship with your children. At Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C., we can provide you with the aggressive and zealous legal representation you need to stand up to someone trying to alienate you from your kids.

Contact us today for a free consultation to learn more about your parental rights, especially if you’re a father getting a Long Island, NY divorce. Dial 631-923-1910 now or fill out our short online contact form and our team of family legal professionals will get back to you as soon as we can to schedule a free consultation and case evaluation.

GET YOUR FREE CONSULTATION TODAY
Call 631-923-1910 or fill in the form below

Get your complimentary consultation and case evaluation with our experienced attorneys today.

Your attorney will describe the many options available and determine together which is the right solution for you. By the end of this  conversation, we’ll all understand how we can best help you to move forward.

No Cost or Obligation

There is no cost or obligation for this initial consultation. It is simply an opportunity for us to get to know each other, answer your questions and learn if Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. is right the right law firm for you. Give us a call at 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form below for your free consultation and case evaluation.

All Fields Are Required

* indicates required

About the Author

Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., Founding Partner, Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.

  • Over 20 years practicing matrimonial law
  • Over 1,000 cases successfully resolved
  • Founder and Partner of Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.
  • Experienced and compassionate Long Island Divorce Attorney, Family Law Attorney, and Divorce Mediator
  • Licensed to practice law in the State of New York
  • New York State Bar Association member
  • Nassau County Bar Association member
  • Suffolk County Bar Association member
  • “Super Lawyer” Metro Rising Star
  • Nominated Best of Long Island Divorce Attorney four consecutive years
  • Alternative Dispute Resolution Committee Contributor
  • Collaborative Law Association of New York – Former Director
  • Martindale Hubbell Distinguished Designation
  • America’s Most Honored Professionals – Top 5%
  • Lead Counsel Rated – Divorce Law
  • American Institute of Family Law Attorneys 10 Best
  • International Academy of Collaborative Professionals
  • Graduate of Hofstra University School of Law
  • Double Bachelor’s degrees in Philosophy, Politics & Law and History from SUNY Binghamton University
Divorce Lawyer Long Island New York
Google Review of divorce longisland
Melissa Rappa
Melissa Rappa
18:09 08 Feb 24
At one of the hardest and most stressful times of my life, it was so comforting to have a team at Hornberger and Verbitsky who ALWAYS responded in record speed to my questions, phone calls, emails or texts and who I felt really cared about helping me through this difficult time. It was a long few years and I am grateful to all of you. Thank you so much Rob, AnneMarie, Christine, Patty, Joan and Lawrence. Your guidance, professionalism and expertise is appreciated beyond measure.
Paul Carmichael
Paul Carmichael
16:21 11 Dec 23
I would give 6 stars if I could. I can't say enough good things about Robert and his firm. We were in a situation for over 2 years and I could have never made it through without Robert's experience and knowledge. He guided me through tough times when needed and his expertise could "read" the situation and make the next best move for me. He was tough when he needed to be tough (thankfully) and at the same time guided me through the process to make me feel comfortable in an uncomfortable situation. I would not want to go through this process without Robert and his team having my back. he helped move the case along and not waste any time or money. One last time, I 100% endorse Robert and his expertise.
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Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. respects your right to privacy. We will never sell your information to any third party. Follow this link to read our full privacy policy.

How Courts Evaluate Fathers in Child Custody Cases in NY

How Courts Evaluate Fathers in Child Custody Cases in NY

How Courts Evaluate Fathers in Child Custody Cases in NY

Getting divorced is an emotional and stressful experience for all involved, but as a divorced or divorcing father you have special and unique concerns. One of the biggest issues for divorced dads on Long Island, NY are issues surrounding child custody and child support. It can be difficult to navigate the New York state legal system, especially when it comes to proving to the court that you’re a fit parent and that it would be in your child’s best interests to be in your care.

Here’s what you can expect during the child custody evaluation process and how to get qualified legal help when dissolving your marriage.

Free New York Divorce Lawyer Consultation

Child Custody Evaluations in NY Explained

Any time two parents separate, important decisions need to be made about who will be primarily responsible for the child and where the child will primarily live. New York courts consider the best interests of the child above all, so before awarding custody to one parent or the other, a judge will order a custody evaluation to assess which parent is the best fit for the child’s specific needs.

An evaluator then visits the parents’ homes and checks for specific things like:

#1. Your Physical & Mental Health

The court will want to make sure that you are physically and mentally capable of providing care to your child while they’re with you. They may ask several questions about your health history, your mental state, and any conditions that you were diagnosed with by a physician and the medications you may have been prescribed to treat those conditions.

The court will also assess if you have a history of violence of any kind, especially against vulnerable individuals like the elderly, animals, and children.

#2. The Location of Your Home

Where your home is located in relation to your child’s school and extracurricular activities is also a major consideration for where your child will stay during the school year. If you live far away from your child’s school and other events, courts may consider an alternative custody arrangement where your child stays with you primarily throughout the summer and with his or her mother during the school year. They stay with the parent located closest to their school so they can easily commute back and forth.

The court will also take note of the neighborhood that you live in and how safe the area is for children. You’ll need to have a reasonably clean home and show that you have enough space for your child to have an area of their own.

#3. How Much You Earn

The judge will also want to make sure that you are earning enough money to be able to provide for your child while they’re in your home. This is generally calculated after your familial financial responsibilities like alimony and child support.

If a judge determines that you don’t currently earn enough to provide stable housing for you to be considered for full custody, you may still be able to petition for joint custody and/or frequent visitation. The state of New York understands how important it is for children to maintain strong family bonds and generally only deny custody or visitation in situations where it would be harmful to the child.

#4. Your Work Schedule

How often you work, for what hours, and for how long are all things that will play a significant role in how child custody is determined. You will need to be able to show that you primarily work while your child is not at home and that you have the ability, as needed, to take time off for doctor’s appointments, extracurriculars, and just to spend quality time with your child.

If you are extremely busy with work or travel a lot, this could potentially have an impact on how a judge decides to allocate child custody and visitation time.

When To Contact an Experienced Long Island, NY Divorce Lawyer

If you are a divorcing father, don’t wait to get experienced legal help from a qualified Long Island NY, family lawyer. An attorney with vast experience in this area of the law can help you better prepare for the custody evaluation process and make any arguments against decisions that afford you less contact with your child.

At Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C., we have the skills and experience to provide you with comprehensive child custody and divorce representation. Contact us today for more information about what you can expect during a child custody evaluation or to schedule your free initial consultation to discuss your case. Call now at 631-923-1910 or complete our short online contact form and our legal team will be happy to get back to you as quickly as possible.

GET YOUR FREE CONSULTATION TODAY
Call 631-923-1910 or fill in the form below

Get your complimentary consultation and case evaluation with our experienced attorneys today.

Your attorney will describe the many options available and determine together which is the right solution for you. By the end of this  conversation, we’ll all understand how we can best help you to move forward.

No Cost or Obligation

There is no cost or obligation for this initial consultation. It is simply an opportunity for us to get to know each other, answer your questions and learn if Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. is right the right law firm for you. Give us a call at 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form below for your free consultation and case evaluation.

All Fields Are Required

* indicates required

About the Author

Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., Founding Partner, Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.

  • Over 20 years practicing matrimonial law
  • Over 1,000 cases successfully resolved
  • Founder and Partner of Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.
  • Experienced and compassionate Long Island Divorce Attorney, Family Law Attorney, and Divorce Mediator
  • Licensed to practice law in the State of New York
  • New York State Bar Association member
  • Nassau County Bar Association member
  • Suffolk County Bar Association member
  • “Super Lawyer” Metro Rising Star
  • Nominated Best of Long Island Divorce Attorney four consecutive years
  • Alternative Dispute Resolution Committee Contributor
  • Collaborative Law Association of New York – Former Director
  • Martindale Hubbell Distinguished Designation
  • America’s Most Honored Professionals – Top 5%
  • Lead Counsel Rated – Divorce Law
  • American Institute of Family Law Attorneys 10 Best
  • International Academy of Collaborative Professionals
  • Graduate of Hofstra University School of Law
  • Double Bachelor’s degrees in Philosophy, Politics & Law and History from SUNY Binghamton University
Divorce Lawyer Long Island New York
Google Review of divorce longisland
Melissa Rappa
Melissa Rappa
18:09 08 Feb 24
At one of the hardest and most stressful times of my life, it was so comforting to have a team at Hornberger and Verbitsky who ALWAYS responded in record speed to my questions, phone calls, emails or texts and who I felt really cared about helping me through this difficult time. It was a long few years and I am grateful to all of you. Thank you so much Rob, AnneMarie, Christine, Patty, Joan and Lawrence. Your guidance, professionalism and expertise is appreciated beyond measure.
Paul Carmichael
Paul Carmichael
16:21 11 Dec 23
I would give 6 stars if I could. I can't say enough good things about Robert and his firm. We were in a situation for over 2 years and I could have never made it through without Robert's experience and knowledge. He guided me through tough times when needed and his expertise could "read" the situation and make the next best move for me. He was tough when he needed to be tough (thankfully) and at the same time guided me through the process to make me feel comfortable in an uncomfortable situation. I would not want to go through this process without Robert and his team having my back. he helped move the case along and not waste any time or money. One last time, I 100% endorse Robert and his expertise.
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Successful Divorce Strategies Free eBook
Child Support & Spousal Maintenance Tools
Spousal Maintenance Calculator
Child Support Calculator
Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. respects your right to privacy. We will never sell your information to any third party. Follow this link to read our full privacy policy.

What Does Legally Separating Mean for Your Kids In NY?

What Does Legally Separating Mean for Your Kids In NY?

What Does Legally Separating Mean for Your Kids In NY?

It’s always tough on kids when their parents separate, even if it ends up being for the best for everyone involved. If you and your spouse have legally separated, you’re not alone. While divorce is final, legal separation gives your family the chance to reconcile. It also keeps you married on paper, so you can continue to access certain important benefits. Sometimes, this is the best option not only for you and your spouse, but also for your children. But how does it impact them and how can you mitigate any ill effects?

Free New York Divorce Lawyer Consultation

How Legal Separation Works When You’re a Parent on Long Island, NY

The process of legally separating is similar to getting a divorce. You will still have to reach an agreement with your spouse on things like who gets child custody or how property is divided. Once your separation agreement has been signed by a judge, it becomes legally enforceable. You may be penalized if you fail to meet the court-ordered obligations of your separation agreement, even though you’re technically not divorced.

Some parents opt to mediate their separation. If you do, you’ll meet with a professional who will help you negotiate with your spouse. You’ll go over each aspect of your marriage, from custody to property division, and make decisions about each one. Mediation can help make separating much easier on you and your family by offering a buffer through which you and your spouse can reach a compromise.

What If We Reconcile?

Legal separation gives you the option to reconcile after a period of time, whereas a traditional divorce doesn’t. You can reconcile with your spouse but the terms of your original agreement will remain in effect until they’re updated in court.

This could spell trouble for you and your kids if your spouse later changes his or her mind and decides to take you to court for violating the agreement. New York courts won’t honor verbal or implied agreements, even when you and your spouse are back together. So if you do reconcile with your spouse, make sure you have a new agreement in place before doing anything differently with your children.

What If We Can’t Agree?

If you can’t reach an agreement on new terms while reconciling, consider whether or not it truly is the right move. Parents need to be on the same page as one another and staying married to someone with whom you can’t make parenting decisions can be extraordinarily challenging. You may also want to consider mediating your reconciliation. Even if you and your spouse intend to get back together, a mediator can help facilitate effective communication.

How To Protect Your Kids When Separating

You need to take steps to protect your children during your legal separation. First, establish clear rules and consistent routines. Your kids need to know what to expect when everything feels unsteady. Try to give them stability by agreeing with your spouse on the rules for each home.

You should also maintain communication with your spouse, even if you’re not getting along. Your kids need you to be civil and focused primarily on their needs and best interests. Try not to speak badly about your spouse in front of your children, even when you’re angry. This adds even more stress for your family.

You should also make sure you and your children have access to professional support. As your family dynamic changes, your family may need extra guidance or advice to navigate life. Consider working with a counselor or therapist who has specific experience working with children whose parents are separating. These professionals are equipped to provide you with tools and resources tailored for your individual situation.

Finally, make time for your kids. Put in the effort to spend quality time with them doing things they are interested in or like doing. Your children need reassurance that you’re still there for them even though their family might look a little different now.

Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. – Your Long Island, NY Separation and Divorce Resource

Don’t wait to get legal help if you’re separating from your spouse. If you have children, qualified representation is even more crucial. Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. can provide you with comprehensive advocacy you can rely on. When your family faces big changes, you need someone on your side who can advocate for the best possible outcome.

Contact our office today for help by dialing 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form on this page to book your free initial consultation with our experienced Long Island divorce lawyers.

GET YOUR FREE CONSULTATION TODAY
Call 631-923-1910 or fill in the form below

Get your complimentary consultation and case evaluation with our experienced attorneys today.

Your attorney will describe the many options available and determine together which is the right solution for you. By the end of this  conversation, we’ll all understand how we can best help you to move forward.

No Cost or Obligation

There is no cost or obligation for this initial consultation. It is simply an opportunity for us to get to know each other, answer your questions and learn if Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. is right the right law firm for you. Give us a call at 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form below for your free consultation and case evaluation.

All Fields Are Required

* indicates required

About the Author

Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., Founding Partner, Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.

  • Over 20 years practicing matrimonial law
  • Over 1,000 cases successfully resolved
  • Founder and Partner of Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.
  • Experienced and compassionate Long Island Divorce Attorney, Family Law Attorney, and Divorce Mediator
  • Licensed to practice law in the State of New York
  • New York State Bar Association member
  • Nassau County Bar Association member
  • Suffolk County Bar Association member
  • “Super Lawyer” Metro Rising Star
  • Nominated Best of Long Island Divorce Attorney four consecutive years
  • Alternative Dispute Resolution Committee Contributor
  • Collaborative Law Association of New York – Former Director
  • Martindale Hubbell Distinguished Designation
  • America’s Most Honored Professionals – Top 5%
  • Lead Counsel Rated – Divorce Law
  • American Institute of Family Law Attorneys 10 Best
  • International Academy of Collaborative Professionals
  • Graduate of Hofstra University School of Law
  • Double Bachelor’s degrees in Philosophy, Politics & Law and History from SUNY Binghamton University
Divorce Lawyer Long Island New York
Google Review of divorce longisland
Melissa Rappa
Melissa Rappa
18:09 08 Feb 24
At one of the hardest and most stressful times of my life, it was so comforting to have a team at Hornberger and Verbitsky who ALWAYS responded in record speed to my questions, phone calls, emails or texts and who I felt really cared about helping me through this difficult time. It was a long few years and I am grateful to all of you. Thank you so much Rob, AnneMarie, Christine, Patty, Joan and Lawrence. Your guidance, professionalism and expertise is appreciated beyond measure.
Paul Carmichael
Paul Carmichael
16:21 11 Dec 23
I would give 6 stars if I could. I can't say enough good things about Robert and his firm. We were in a situation for over 2 years and I could have never made it through without Robert's experience and knowledge. He guided me through tough times when needed and his expertise could "read" the situation and make the next best move for me. He was tough when he needed to be tough (thankfully) and at the same time guided me through the process to make me feel comfortable in an uncomfortable situation. I would not want to go through this process without Robert and his team having my back. he helped move the case along and not waste any time or money. One last time, I 100% endorse Robert and his expertise.
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Successful Divorce Strategies Free eBook
Child Support & Spousal Maintenance Tools
Spousal Maintenance Calculator
Child Support Calculator
Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. respects your right to privacy. We will never sell your information to any third party. Follow this link to read our full privacy policy.

When Joint Child Custody Isn’t Working After NY Divorce

When Joint Child Custody Isn’t Working After NY Divorce

When Joint Child Custody Isn’t Working After NY Divorce

Having joint child custody after a New York divorce can be a difficult situation for everyone to involved. Of course it’s a new and difficult situation and it takes everyone time to get used to, but, if after an appropriate period, things just are not working out you may see to make a change to your agreement. You are likely unsure of what to do next or even what options are available to you. Here’s what to know and how to get the support you need when you incur more problems with joint custody than it was intended to solve.

Free New York Divorce Lawyer Consultation

Look for the Key Joint Custody Issue

If you don’t seem to be getting around the initial learning curve with your child’s joint custody arrangements, the first step is to figure out the key issue. There may even be multiple issues that are causing unreasonable strain on your family. For example, if you’re constantly having problems with getting your child to and from your ex’s house on time, this could indicate a location or transportation issue.

Or, perhaps the problem is you suspect your ex has become involved with drug use after the divorce and you’re concerned your child may be in danger when in your ex’s custody. Write down a list of deal breakers, as well as things you just think could be improved, so you can start looking for possible solutions and putting together the resources you need to pursue them.

If Logistics Are the Problem with Your Joint Custody

If the problem is mainly a logistical one, such as difficulty in transporting children between homes or too much travel time for the kids, reducing the distance between your home and your ex’s may be a solution. You or your ex might consider moving to be closer to the other parent, or you may agree to meet halfway for pickups and drop-offs depending on what works best for your job, family obligations, and finances.

If Your Ex Is Unfit to Parent Your Child

Is your ex incapable of adequately parenting your child or children. Should they have shared custody to begin with. It may be necessary to make alternative custody arrangements if your ex has a limited ability to provide adequate care for the children, has poor mental health stability and emotional maturity, or a history of domestic violence, neglect, or other criminal activity.

In this case, the first step is to begin documenting your ex’s behaviors and gathering evidence to build your case. Make sure your notes are detailed and include dates, times, places, and specific information about what happened. This will be important evidence for any future discussions or court proceedings regarding the modification of custody arrangements.

It can also be helpful to talk to others who could have witnessed concerning behavior from your spouse, particularly while caring for your child. This could include family members, friends, neighbors, teachers or coaches who interact with your child regularly and may have noticed patterns of neglect or abuse.

Get the Emotional & Legal Support You Need

During the process of establishing or modifying joint child custody agreements, it can be beneficial to seek out professional support from a counselor or therapist. A qualified practitioner can help you sort through difficult emotions and will provide you with stress management tools you can use to manage negative feelings that may arise.

You can also look for divorce and child custody support groups in the Long Island, NY area. These people have gone through similar experiences as yours with joint child custody agreements and can offer mutual support, camaraderie, and an outlet for venting frustrations.

Sometimes just talking about the situation with friends and family members can be therapeutic in itself. It’s a way of getting things off your chest without involving lawyers or counselors directly involved in the case. Just be sure the person offering a listening ear has the ability to make emotional space for you and is willing to do so.

Counseling and/or therapy can’t replace the legal support a qualified attorney is able to provide. At Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C., we can help you navigate issues regarding your joint custody agreement and find solutions that work best for your family. Contact our office today to schedule a free initial consultation and case evaluation with our experienced New York divorce attorneys by dialing 631-923-1910or by filling in the short form on this page.

GET YOUR FREE CONSULTATION TODAY
Call 631-923-1910 or fill in the form below

Get your complimentary consultation and case evaluation with our experienced attorneys today.

Your attorney will describe the many options available and determine together which is the right solution for you. By the end of this  conversation, we’ll all understand how we can best help you to move forward.

No Cost or Obligation

There is no cost or obligation for this initial consultation. It is simply an opportunity for us to get to know each other, answer your questions and learn if Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. is right the right law firm for you. Give us a call at 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form below for your free consultation and case evaluation.

All Fields Are Required

* indicates required

About the Author

Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., Founding Partner, Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.

  • Over 20 years practicing matrimonial law
  • Over 1,000 cases successfully resolved
  • Founder and Partner of Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.
  • Experienced and compassionate Long Island Divorce Attorney, Family Law Attorney, and Divorce Mediator
  • Licensed to practice law in the State of New York
  • New York State Bar Association member
  • Nassau County Bar Association member
  • Suffolk County Bar Association member
  • “Super Lawyer” Metro Rising Star
  • Nominated Best of Long Island Divorce Attorney four consecutive years
  • Alternative Dispute Resolution Committee Contributor
  • Collaborative Law Association of New York – Former Director
  • Martindale Hubbell Distinguished Designation
  • America’s Most Honored Professionals – Top 5%
  • Lead Counsel Rated – Divorce Law
  • American Institute of Family Law Attorneys 10 Best
  • International Academy of Collaborative Professionals
  • Graduate of Hofstra University School of Law
  • Double Bachelor’s degrees in Philosophy, Politics & Law and History from SUNY Binghamton University
Divorce Lawyer Long Island New York
Google Review of divorce longisland
Melissa Rappa
Melissa Rappa
18:09 08 Feb 24
At one of the hardest and most stressful times of my life, it was so comforting to have a team at Hornberger and Verbitsky who ALWAYS responded in record speed to my questions, phone calls, emails or texts and who I felt really cared about helping me through this difficult time. It was a long few years and I am grateful to all of you. Thank you so much Rob, AnneMarie, Christine, Patty, Joan and Lawrence. Your guidance, professionalism and expertise is appreciated beyond measure.
Paul Carmichael
Paul Carmichael
16:21 11 Dec 23
I would give 6 stars if I could. I can't say enough good things about Robert and his firm. We were in a situation for over 2 years and I could have never made it through without Robert's experience and knowledge. He guided me through tough times when needed and his expertise could "read" the situation and make the next best move for me. He was tough when he needed to be tough (thankfully) and at the same time guided me through the process to make me feel comfortable in an uncomfortable situation. I would not want to go through this process without Robert and his team having my back. he helped move the case along and not waste any time or money. One last time, I 100% endorse Robert and his expertise.
js_loader

Successful Divorce Strategies Free eBook
Child Support & Spousal Maintenance Tools
Spousal Maintenance Calculator
Child Support Calculator
Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. respects your right to privacy. We will never sell your information to any third party. Follow this link to read our full privacy policy.

Who Gets Custody of Adopted Children on Long Island, NY?

Who Gets Custody of Adopted Children on Long Island, NY?

Who Gets Custody of Adopted Children on Long Island, NY?

When you make the decision to adopt children into your family, the last thing you expect is to wind up getting divorced. But for any number of reasons, including the stress of adoption, compiled with other issues in the relationship, can cause your marriage to deteriorate and you wind up on the path to divorce. If you’ve found yourself in this situation, you’re not alone. Many adoptive parents experience the crumbling of their marriages soon after their adoption goals have been reached, which is even more distressing after a family finally achieves the growth for which they’d been working, sometimes for years.

Below, we explore who might be entitled to custody of an adopted child on Long Island, NY, what factors are considered in determining which party gets custody, and how to get in touch with an experienced New York divorce attorney to help you through the process.

Free New York Divorce Lawyer Consultation

Entitled Parties in Adoption Custody Cases on Long Island, NY

Depending on your situation, more than two parties may be entitled to consideration for custody and/or visitation. This includes the child’s:

Biological Parents

Biological parents are typically considered the first entitled party in an adoption custody case because they are the child’s natural guardians and have a pre-existing legal relationship with the child. For example, in cases where a divorcee has adopted their spouse’s child from a previous relationship, courts will generally give more weight to the biological parent versus the adoptive parent.

However, there are circumstances under which a biological parent may not be considered for custody, such as if they abandoned their child or were found unfit to care for them.

Adoptive Parents

Adoptive parents are also entitled to custody and visitation, particularly when the child’s biological parents aren’t in the picture. Adoptive parents have the same legal rights and responsibilities as biological parents, including the right to make decisions about the child’s upbringing and education. If both parents are adoptive and are getting divorced, a court will evaluate which parent is the most suitable for primary physical and legal custody.

Grandparents

Grandparents may be entitled to custody in certain circumstances, such as if they have been actively involved in raising the child and/or if the biological or adoptive parents are unable to care for them. Grandparents may also be favored over other relatives if they can provide a more stable home environment for the child.

Other Relatives

Other relatives, such as siblings or cousins are less likely to be awarded custody than grandparents or other close relatives because it can be difficult to prove that these relatives have a strong enough bond with the child or that they can provide a better home environment than other individuals with more custody rights can offer.

Factors Considered in Determining Adoption Custody Cases on Long Island, NY

When determining which party is the best fit for the custody of an adopted child, courts use the same factors as they do when assessing custody for a biological child whose parents are getting divorced. The child’s best interests are always prioritized, meaning that any decision made regarding custody must be in line with what would best promote the child’s physical, emotional, and mental health and well-being.

These factors include things like how old the child is and what developmental stage they’re at, what kind of relationship the child has with their biological and adoptive parents, the ability of each potential custodian to provide for the child, and the location and stability of each potential custodian’s home environment. Courts also take into account any mental health or physical disabilities potential custodians may have, and if there have been any past instances of domestic violence or drug abuse in the home.

Legal Representation in Adoption Custody Cases on Long Island

Having experienced legal representation in an adoption custody case is essential to help you navigate the complex legal system, ensure that your rights are protected, and give you the best chance of success in court. When choosing an adoption custody lawyer, make sure the attorney has specific experience with these types of cases.

You can expect a veteran family lawyer to provide you with honest and straightforward advice about your case. At Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C., we will work tirelessly to advocate on your behalf and protect your rights throughout the legal process. If you have any questions or concerns, we can answer them in a timely manner. Call today for a consultation at 631-923-1910 or fill out the short form on this page.

GET YOUR FREE CONSULTATION TODAY
Call 631-923-1910 or fill in the form below

Get your complimentary consultation and case evaluation with our experienced attorneys today.

Your attorney will describe the many options available and determine together which is the right solution for you. By the end of this  conversation, we’ll all understand how we can best help you to move forward.

No Cost or Obligation

There is no cost or obligation for this initial consultation. It is simply an opportunity for us to get to know each other, answer your questions and learn if Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. is right the right law firm for you. Give us a call at 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form below for your free consultation and case evaluation.

All Fields Are Required

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About the Author

Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., Founding Partner, Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.

  • Over 20 years practicing matrimonial law
  • Over 1,000 cases successfully resolved
  • Founder and Partner of Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.
  • Experienced and compassionate Long Island Divorce Attorney, Family Law Attorney, and Divorce Mediator
  • Licensed to practice law in the State of New York
  • New York State Bar Association member
  • Nassau County Bar Association member
  • Suffolk County Bar Association member
  • “Super Lawyer” Metro Rising Star
  • Nominated Best of Long Island Divorce Attorney four consecutive years
  • Alternative Dispute Resolution Committee Contributor
  • Collaborative Law Association of New York – Former Director
  • Martindale Hubbell Distinguished Designation
  • America’s Most Honored Professionals – Top 5%
  • Lead Counsel Rated – Divorce Law
  • American Institute of Family Law Attorneys 10 Best
  • International Academy of Collaborative Professionals
  • Graduate of Hofstra University School of Law
  • Double Bachelor’s degrees in Philosophy, Politics & Law and History from SUNY Binghamton University
Divorce Lawyer Long Island New York
Google Review of divorce longisland
Melissa Rappa
Melissa Rappa
18:09 08 Feb 24
At one of the hardest and most stressful times of my life, it was so comforting to have a team at Hornberger and Verbitsky who ALWAYS responded in record speed to my questions, phone calls, emails or texts and who I felt really cared about helping me through this difficult time. It was a long few years and I am grateful to all of you. Thank you so much Rob, AnneMarie, Christine, Patty, Joan and Lawrence. Your guidance, professionalism and expertise is appreciated beyond measure.
Paul Carmichael
Paul Carmichael
16:21 11 Dec 23
I would give 6 stars if I could. I can't say enough good things about Robert and his firm. We were in a situation for over 2 years and I could have never made it through without Robert's experience and knowledge. He guided me through tough times when needed and his expertise could "read" the situation and make the next best move for me. He was tough when he needed to be tough (thankfully) and at the same time guided me through the process to make me feel comfortable in an uncomfortable situation. I would not want to go through this process without Robert and his team having my back. he helped move the case along and not waste any time or money. One last time, I 100% endorse Robert and his expertise.
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Top Strategies to Stop Parental Alienation on Long Island, NY

Top Strategies to Stop Parental Alienation on Long Island, NY

Top Strategies to Stop Parental Alienation on Long Island, NY

Divorce is always difficult for all involved, but it can be hardest on the children who have no say in what is transpiring between their parents. While the divorce may be inevitable, parents can go the extra mile to work together to co-parent their children with time, effort, and dedication. Ideally, parents will put their children, and their needs, first and foremost.

Not all divorces go this way though, and many turn contentious. When this happens and children are involved, one parent may attempt to turn their children against the other parent. Regardless of whether or not the other parent is successfully ostracized, it can have devastating consequences on the child and the family. This phenomenon, known as “parental alienation”, can tear families apart and leave everyone involved feeling hurt and alone.

If you’re concerned that your family might be heading down this destructive path, it’s important to know how to stop parental alienation before it starts. Early intervention is key, so pay attention to signs that your child is being manipulated by one parent against the other. And if you’re already caught in the middle of an alienation dynamic, there are still things you can do to protect yourself and your relationship with your child. Here’s what to know.

Free New York Divorce Lawyer Consultation

The Problem with Parental Alienation

Parental alienation occurs when one parent attempts to undermine the relationship between the child and the other parent. This behavior can take many forms, from badmouthing the other parent, lying about them and their actions or motivations, to outright denying them access to the child.

The consequences of this type of behavior are severe. Children who are subjected to parental alienation manipulation can suffer from emotional distress, behavioral problems, and difficulties forming and maintaining relationships themselves as adults. In extreme cases, parental alienation can lead to estrangement, which means the child completely cuts off contact with the targeted parent.

Early Intervention Is Key to Stopping Parental Alienation

The earlier you can intervene in parental alienation, the better. By catching the behavior early, you may be able to prevent the alienation from becoming more severe and damaging.

Talk to your child about their relationship with the other parent. Ask them how they feel and encourage them to express any concerns they have. Although this may be difficult in a contentious contested divorce where you angry and fighting with your ex, it’s important to put the child’s needs ahead of your own and encourage a healthy relationship between your child and the other parent, regardless of how you feel about them. This includes making sure they’re spending time together, that you’re talking positively about the other parent, and constructively resolving conflicts.

What Happens If You’re Being Alienated?

If you think that you might be a victim of parental alienation, there are a few key signs to look out for. First, see if there is a sudden and unexplained change in your relationship with your child. If you used to have a close, loving relationship and now your child seems distant or even hostile, this could be a sign the other parent is succeeding at parental alienation of your relationship.

Other signs include:

  • Your child repeating negative things about you that they couldn’t possibly know on their own
  • Your child refusing to spend time with you or telling you that they don’t want to see you
  • Your child bad mouthing you to other family members or friends
  • Your child making false accusations against you

Strategies To Stop Parental Alienation

Parental alienation can be emotionally devastating to the one being alienated and the child. If possible, try to have an adult conversation with the other parent about what’s going on and how it’s negatively affecting your child and their future. It’s important to stay calm and avoid accusing them of anything. Instead, simply express your concerns and ask if there’s anything they can do to help improve the situation.

Counseling may help you deal with the pain and anger you’re feeling while also giving you practical tools for dealing with the situation. It may also help to talk to someone who’s been through something similar. There are many online forums and support groups for parents dealing with parental alienation. Talking to others who understand what you’re going through can help ease the feelings of isolation and loneliness that often come with this type of situation.

In some cases, legal action may be necessary. If there is evidence that the other parent is deliberately trying to turn your child against you, a restraining order may be appropriate. Or, you may benefit from filing for full custody.

Call an Experienced Long Island, NY Divorce Lawyer for Help with Parental Alienation Issues Today

It’s important to remember that parental alienation is a serious problem that can have lasting consequences for both children and parents. If you’re concerned about parental alienation, the best thing you can do is to seek help from a professional as soon as possible.

Contact Long Island divorce lawyers Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. for a free consultation to discuss your case and legal strategy by dialing 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form on this page.

 

GET YOUR FREE CONSULTATION TODAY
Call 631-923-1910 or fill in the form below

Get your complimentary consultation and case evaluation with our experienced attorneys today.

Your attorney will describe the many options available and determine together which is the right solution for you. By the end of this  conversation, we’ll all understand how we can best help you to move forward.

No Cost or Obligation

There is no cost or obligation for this initial consultation. It is simply an opportunity for us to get to know each other, answer your questions and learn if Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. is right the right law firm for you. Give us a call at 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form below for your free consultation and case evaluation.

All Fields Are Required

* indicates required

About the Author

Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., Founding Partner, Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.

  • Over 20 years practicing matrimonial law
  • Over 1,000 cases successfully resolved
  • Founder and Partner of Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.
  • Experienced and compassionate Long Island Divorce Attorney, Family Law Attorney, and Divorce Mediator
  • Licensed to practice law in the State of New York
  • New York State Bar Association member
  • Nassau County Bar Association member
  • Suffolk County Bar Association member
  • “Super Lawyer” Metro Rising Star
  • Nominated Best of Long Island Divorce Attorney four consecutive years
  • Alternative Dispute Resolution Committee Contributor
  • Collaborative Law Association of New York – Former Director
  • Martindale Hubbell Distinguished Designation
  • America’s Most Honored Professionals – Top 5%
  • Lead Counsel Rated – Divorce Law
  • American Institute of Family Law Attorneys 10 Best
  • International Academy of Collaborative Professionals
  • Graduate of Hofstra University School of Law
  • Double Bachelor’s degrees in Philosophy, Politics & Law and History from SUNY Binghamton University
Divorce Lawyer Long Island New York
Google Review of divorce longisland
Melissa Rappa
Melissa Rappa
18:09 08 Feb 24
At one of the hardest and most stressful times of my life, it was so comforting to have a team at Hornberger and Verbitsky who ALWAYS responded in record speed to my questions, phone calls, emails or texts and who I felt really cared about helping me through this difficult time. It was a long few years and I am grateful to all of you. Thank you so much Rob, AnneMarie, Christine, Patty, Joan and Lawrence. Your guidance, professionalism and expertise is appreciated beyond measure.
Paul Carmichael
Paul Carmichael
16:21 11 Dec 23
I would give 6 stars if I could. I can't say enough good things about Robert and his firm. We were in a situation for over 2 years and I could have never made it through without Robert's experience and knowledge. He guided me through tough times when needed and his expertise could "read" the situation and make the next best move for me. He was tough when he needed to be tough (thankfully) and at the same time guided me through the process to make me feel comfortable in an uncomfortable situation. I would not want to go through this process without Robert and his team having my back. he helped move the case along and not waste any time or money. One last time, I 100% endorse Robert and his expertise.
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Successful Divorce Strategies Free eBook
Child Support & Spousal Maintenance Tools
Spousal Maintenance Calculator
Child Support Calculator
Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. respects your right to privacy. We will never sell your information to any third party. Follow this link to read our full privacy policy.

What is ‘Bird’s Nest’ Custody & Is it Available in NY?

What is ‘Bird’s Nest’ Custody & Is it Available in NY?

What is ‘Bird’s Nest’ Custody & Is it Available in NY?

If you’re considering divorce and have children, you may have heard the term “Bird’s Nest Custody” and wonder if it’s an option on Long Island, NY. Or, perhaps you’ve never heard of this type of child custody and are interested in learning how it works. Discover bird nesting, how to know if it’s right for your family, and how an experienced Long Island divorce attorney can help you understand your custody options, which one is right for your family and make sure your rights are protected.

Free New York Divorce Lawyer Consultation

What Is ‘Bird’s Nest Custody’ & How Does It Work?

Bird’s nest custody refers to a situation where, after the divorce, the children remain in the family home and the divorced parents take turns living there. This allows the children to have stability and continuity in their daily lives, while still having access to both parents.

There are a few different ways that bird’s nest custody can work in practice. In some cases, the parents alternate living in the family home every week. So, for example, Parent A would live in the home with the children from Monday to Friday, while Parent B would live elsewhere. Then, on Friday evening, Parent B would move into the family home and stay there until Monday morning when Parent A moves back in.

In other cases, one parent may live in the family home full-time while the other parent has an apartment nearby. The parent who is not living in the family home will typically visit on weekends and during weeknights.

The arrangement can also be made around the parents’ work schedules or social commitments. For example, if one parent works nights and weekends while the other has a more traditional 9-5 job, they may switch off living at home accordingly.

Benefits of Bird’s Nesting for Children & Parents

There are many potential benefits of bird’s nest custody arrangements. First and foremost, it offers children more consistency during a time of upheaval and change. It also makes it easier for the child to maintain a quality relationship with both parents post-divorce.

Another potential benefit is that it can make co-parenting easier as there is no need to coordinate pick-ups and drop-offs of children between households. This can be especially helpful if parents live far apart from each other or have difficulty communicating with each other.

It can also help save money, since only one household needs to be maintained for the children instead of two separate homes.

Does Long Island Allow Bird’s Nest Child Custody?

In New York, bird’s nest custody is not specifically recognized by state law, nor is it a prohibited arrangement. If this is something you’re interested in, you have the right to discuss these arrangements with your ex and pursue this type of custody. However, courts have the discretion to approve or deny such arrangements depending on whether or not they’re in the best interests of the children involved.

How to Decide If Bird Nesting Is Right for Your Family

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer to whether bird’s nest custody is right for you and your family. If you are considering this as an option for your divorce, there are a few things you should keep in mind. First, it’s critical to make sure that both you and your ex-spouse are on board. This type of custody arrangement can be emotionally challenging, and both parents must be committed to making it work.

Another issue that’s important to consider is whether or not your children are old enough to fully understand the boundaries in a bird’s nest arrangement. If your children are very young, they may find it confusing. Of course, very young children often find the whole concept and arrangements of divorce confusing. On the other hand, older children often find it easier to understand and may prefer this type of arrangement, since it allows them to have a stable home life even though their parents aren’t married.

Finally, you should also think about whether or not you and your ex can afford to maintain two households for your children. In a traditional child custody arrangement, each parent has their own home where the children alternate spending their time. Bird nesting allows parents to pay for only one family home, and the other can stay in a small apartment or with a roommate. This is often much cheaper than the alternative.

When You Need a Consultation with a Long Island, NY Divorce Lawyer

If you think bird’s nest custody might be right for you and your family, reach out to an experienced Long Island divorce attorney to help you understand the legal implications of this type of arrangement and navigate the complex logistics involved in making it work. Call Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. today for more information at 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form on this page.

GET YOUR FREE CONSULTATION TODAY
Call 631-923-1910 or fill in the form below

Long Island Divorce Lawyers Robert Hornberger and Christine Verbitsky

Get your complimentary consultation and case evaluation with our experienced attorneys today.

Your attorney will describe the many options available and determine together which is the right solution for you. By the end of this  conversation, we’ll all understand how we can best help you to move forward.

No Cost or Obligation

There is no cost or obligation for this initial consultation. It is simply an opportunity for us to get to know each other, answer your questions and learn if Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. is right the right law firm for you. Give us a call at 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form below for your free consultation and case evaluation.

All Fields Are Required

About the Author

Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., Founding Partner, Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.

  • Over 20 years practicing matrimonial law
  • Over 1,000 cases successfully resolved
  • Founder and Partner of Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.
  • Experienced and compassionate Long Island Divorce Attorney, Family Law Attorney, and Divorce Mediator
  • Licensed to practice law in the State of New York
  • New York State Bar Association member
  • Nassau County Bar Association member
  • Suffolk County Bar Association member
  • “Super Lawyer” Metro Rising Star
  • Nominated Best of Long Island Divorce Attorney four consecutive years
  • Alternative Dispute Resolution Committee Contributor
  • Collaborative Law Association of New York – Former Director
  • Martindale Hubbell Distinguished Designation
  • America’s Most Honored Professionals – Top 5%
  • Lead Counsel Rated – Divorce Law
  • American Institute of Family Law Attorneys 10 Best
  • International Academy of Collaborative Professionals
  • Graduate of Hofstra University School of Law
  • Double Bachelor’s degrees in Philosophy, Politics & Law and History from SUNY Binghamton University
Divorce Lawyer Long Island New York
Google Review of divorce longisland
Melissa Rappa
Melissa Rappa
18:09 08 Feb 24
At one of the hardest and most stressful times of my life, it was so comforting to have a team at Hornberger and Verbitsky who ALWAYS responded in record speed to my questions, phone calls, emails or texts and who I felt really cared about helping me through this difficult time. It was a long few years and I am grateful to all of you. Thank you so much Rob, AnneMarie, Christine, Patty, Joan and Lawrence. Your guidance, professionalism and expertise is appreciated beyond measure.
Paul Carmichael
Paul Carmichael
16:21 11 Dec 23
I would give 6 stars if I could. I can't say enough good things about Robert and his firm. We were in a situation for over 2 years and I could have never made it through without Robert's experience and knowledge. He guided me through tough times when needed and his expertise could "read" the situation and make the next best move for me. He was tough when he needed to be tough (thankfully) and at the same time guided me through the process to make me feel comfortable in an uncomfortable situation. I would not want to go through this process without Robert and his team having my back. he helped move the case along and not waste any time or money. One last time, I 100% endorse Robert and his expertise.
js_loader

Successful Divorce Strategies Free eBook
Child Support & Spousal Maintenance Tools
Spousal Maintenance Calculator
Child Support Calculator
Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. respects your right to privacy. We will never sell your information to any third party. Follow this link to read our full privacy policy.

How to Get Child Custody Back on Long Island, NY

How to Get Child Custody Back on Long Island, NY

How to Get Child Custody Back on Long Island, NY

Everyone is capable of making mistakes. But when those mistakes involve your children, the stakes are very high. If you find yourself in the situation of having lost custody of your child, you may be frightened, angry, or even embarrassed. But it’s possible to get custody back with time and effort. Here’s what you need to know about the process and what you can do to improve your chances of success.

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What to Know About Court-Ordered Parenting Classes in New York

What to Know About Court-Ordered Parenting Classes in New York

What to Know About Court-Ordered Parenting Classes in New York

In some child custody cases, parents are ordered to take mandatory educational courses by a judge. Many parents are concerned when this happens and are unsure of what steps to take next. Here’s what you should know about court-ordered parenting classes in New York and how a veteran New York family lawyer can help.

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Who Makes Medical Decisions in NY Child Custody Cases?

Who Makes Medical Decisions in NY Child Custody Cases?

Who Makes Medical Decisions in NY Child Custody Cases?  

 

 

 

Who Makes Medical Decisions in NY Child Custody Cases?

When two parents decide to end their relationship, many decisions must be made regarding their children’s health and welfare. Which parent the child stays with, who has visitation, and which parent can make medical decisions for their child depends on what the parents agree upon or what a judge decides. Let’s explore the latter aspect of child custody cases below.

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