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How to Interact with Your Children During Your Divorce

by | Mar 16, 2021 | divorce, News and Events

As a parent going through a divorce in New York, all eyes tend to be on you. Your soon-to-be-ex, the judge, the guardian ad litem, and other key parties will all be paying close attention to how you interact with your children. They’ll be looking for signs of child abuse or domestic violence, and will be evaluating the impact of your home environment on your children’s wellbeing.

Here are some simple guidelines on how to interact with your children during a divorce to ensure you get the best outcome and how to get experienced legal help during this difficult chapter in your life.


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Spend Quality Time with Your Children During Your Divorce

First and foremost, your children want you to know that even though you and their other parent weren’t able to make it work between the two of you, you still love them and cherish your relationship together. Make it a priority to spend quality time with your children engaging in fun activities that help keep their minds off what’s going on in the background.

Attend their school or sporting events to cheer them on, go to birthday parties, get involved in the classroom, and take them to various activities that allow you to join too. It’s important to show the court that you’re committed to enriching the lives of your children, but even more critical to show your children that your time, effort, and love are freely available to them.

Avoid Tense or Upsetting Situations

When your children are with you, do what you can to avoid involving them in tense or upsetting situations. This includes arguing with your ex in front of them or yelling at them when they’ve done something wrong. Now is the time for gentle parenting techniques and to make an active effort to protect the emotional health and wellbeing of your kids.

Talk to Your Children During Your Divorce

It’s important to communicate with your children about what is going on in the family in an age-appropriate way. It’s difficult, but you must learn how to walk the fine line between giving your kids enough information to quell their curiosity and divulging so much that they begin to feel burdened by the matter and responsible for its outcome. Here are some tips on how to do that:

Don’t Offer Details

It’s not necessary to divulge the details of the divorce to your children, even if they are old enough to understand what happened between you and their other parent. Avoid conversations about “whose fault it is” or “he said, she said” discussions. This accomplishes very little to help your child process the reason for the divorce and what life will be like in the future, but can cause them to become confused and unsure of their emotions.

Don’t Get Too Emotional

There’s nothing wrong with showing emotion when discussing divorce with your children. It’s an emotional situation, after all. What you want to avoid is “venting” to your child or using them as an emotional crutch to help you process your own feelings about the divorce. Emotional support is important for you too, however, a close friend or an experienced family or divorce counselor are much better resources than your children.

Direct the Conversation to Your Child’s Experience

Once you’ve let your child know that you’re getting a divorce and have given them an appropriate amount of information, direct the topic of conversation to your child’s experience. Let them know it’s okay to ask questions and that you will answer them as best you can. Make sure they understand that their experience is important to you and you’re there anytime they need support.

Learn the Top 12 Smart Long Island Divorce Strategies.

Consult with a Long Island Divorce Lawyer Who Has Child Custody Experience

You also need good support during your divorce, but your child isn’t a good place to get it no matter how old they are. An experienced attorney can help you navigate the difficult process of dissolving your marriage while directing you to supportive resources.

Contact Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. today to learn more about your divorce options. Book an appointment for your initial consultation by calling 631-923-1910 or fill out the short form below. We are available now to take your call and look forward to working with you to resolve your divorce and move forward with the best possible outcome.


Call 631-923-1910 or fill in the form below

Schedule your complimentary consultation and case evaluation with our experienced attorneys today. When you call, you’ll speak to our friendly Client Services Director, who will be able to answer your general questions and set up your appointment with an attorney who specializes in your unique case.

At your meeting, your attorney will describe the many options available and determine together which is the right solution for you. By the end of this meeting we’ll all understand how we can best help you to move forward.

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22:45 17 Dec 20
I went to see Rob for a modification for my child custody agreement to relocate, I can honestly say that working with Rob and Christine has been the best experience. I cannot recommend them enough I only wish I had seen them sooner. They are prompt with communication, and they are honest which I appreciate so much. They do not give you fake promises and they do their best to fight for what you want which they do amazingly well! You can tell they are passionate about what they do and care about their clients. A very important aspect of lawyer client relationship for me is an open line of communication, the anxiety of the unknown always gets the best of us. The fact they were always available whether it be phone call or email to answer any question was extremely comforting and exactly what I needed. I am not well versed with laws and regulation so knowing I had Rob and his partners there when I was unsure or conflicted was extremely needed and greatly appreciated.When it comes to family court it's never easy but having Rob and his partner by my side I felt extremely comfortable and he helped me have realistic expectations. Please TRUST HIM!! If you're looking for a lawyer (at least for my end from child custody/Family Court) don't look any further you will not be disappointed. I hope to never have to use them again but in the event I have to, they are going to be my forever first call.
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Sam Berg
15:42 16 Sep 20
I hired Robert to handle a child custody and child support matter. He was prompt and professional and was able to achieve a result that 3 prior attorneys could not. He and his staff made a stressful situation easy. I highly recommend his office.


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