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How to Interact with Your Children During Your Divorce

by | Mar 16, 2021 | divorce, News and Events

As a parent going through a divorce in New York, all eyes tend to be on you. Your soon-to-be-ex, the judge, the guardian ad litem, and other key parties will all be paying close attention to how you interact with your children. They’ll be looking for signs of child abuse or domestic violence, and will be evaluating the impact of your home environment on your children’s wellbeing.

Here are some simple guidelines on how to interact with your children during a divorce to ensure you get the best outcome and how to get experienced legal help during this difficult chapter in your life.


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Spend Quality Time with Your Children During Your Divorce

First and foremost, your children want you to know that even though you and their other parent weren’t able to make it work between the two of you, you still love them and cherish your relationship together. Make it a priority to spend quality time with your children engaging in fun activities that help keep their minds off what’s going on in the background.

Attend their school or sporting events to cheer them on, go to birthday parties, get involved in the classroom, and take them to various activities that allow you to join too. It’s important to show the court that you’re committed to enriching the lives of your children, but even more critical to show your children that your time, effort, and love are freely available to them.

Avoid Tense or Upsetting Situations

When your children are with you, do what you can to avoid involving them in tense or upsetting situations. This includes arguing with your ex in front of them or yelling at them when they’ve done something wrong. Now is the time for gentle parenting techniques and to make an active effort to protect the emotional health and wellbeing of your kids.

Talk to Your Children During Your Divorce

It’s important to communicate with your children about what is going on in the family in an age-appropriate way. It’s difficult, but you must learn how to walk the fine line between giving your kids enough information to quell their curiosity and divulging so much that they begin to feel burdened by the matter and responsible for its outcome. Here are some tips on how to do that:

Don’t Offer Details

It’s not necessary to divulge the details of the divorce to your children, even if they are old enough to understand what happened between you and their other parent. Avoid conversations about “whose fault it is” or “he said, she said” discussions. This accomplishes very little to help your child process the reason for the divorce and what life will be like in the future, but can cause them to become confused and unsure of their emotions.

Don’t Get Too Emotional

There’s nothing wrong with showing emotion when discussing divorce with your children. It’s an emotional situation, after all. What you want to avoid is “venting” to your child or using them as an emotional crutch to help you process your own feelings about the divorce. Emotional support is important for you too, however, a close friend or an experienced family or divorce counselor are much better resources than your children.

Direct the Conversation to Your Child’s Experience

Once you’ve let your child know that you’re getting a divorce and have given them an appropriate amount of information, direct the topic of conversation to your child’s experience. Let them know it’s okay to ask questions and that you will answer them as best you can. Make sure they understand that their experience is important to you and you’re there anytime they need support.

Learn the Top 12 Smart Long Island Divorce Strategies.

Consult with a Long Island Divorce Lawyer Who Has Child Custody Experience

You also need good support during your divorce, but your child isn’t a good place to get it no matter how old they are. An experienced attorney can help you navigate the difficult process of dissolving your marriage while directing you to supportive resources.

Contact Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. today to learn more about your divorce options. Book an appointment for your initial consultation by calling 631-923-1910 or fill out the short form below. We are available now to take your call and look forward to working with you to resolve your divorce and move forward with the best possible outcome.


Call 631-923-1910 or fill in the form below

Schedule your complimentary consultation and case evaluation with our experienced attorneys today. When you call, you’ll speak to our friendly Client Services Director, who will be able to answer your general questions and set up your appointment with an attorney who specializes in your unique case.

At your meeting, your attorney will describe the many options available and determine together which is the right solution for you. By the end of this meeting we’ll all understand how we can best help you to move forward.

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There is no cost or obligation for this initial consultation. It is simply an opportunity for us to get to know each other, answer your questions and learn if Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. is right the right law firm for you. Give us a call at 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form below to schedule your free consultation and case evaluation.

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Tara Tocci
Tara Tocci
20:59 17 Sep 21
I called to make an appointment for a consultation to discuss a mediated divorce, the office was fantastic with getting me a prompt appointment. When going in all my questions were asked and I left feeling comfortable in my decision to move forward in using the Hornberger/Verbitsky office. Despite a pandemic going on the office still worked diligently to get my papers filed and my divorce complete in a timely manner. Highly recommend!
cristina romero
cristina romero
20:17 17 Sep 21
Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C were phenomenal in every way. Robert was very genuine, patient and professional. Walking in, I had no idea what to expect but he went above and beyond to explain the entire process thoroughly. He guided and informed me of my rights. Patty was amazing, she answered every question I had no matter how many times I called, she was very understanding. I highly recommend Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. Even if its just for questions on how to navigate this process.
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