Select Page

Long Island Divorce Mediator Answers Divorce Mediation Questions

Divorce Mediator Long Island Mediation AnswersWhat is Divorce Mediation on Long Island, NY?

Long Island Divorce Mediators handle divorce mediation as an option for married couples who wish to divorce but wish to avoid the time, expense and stress of hashing out all of their personal details in court. In divorce mediation, you and your spouse meet with a neutral third-party divorce mediator to decide the terms of your divorce. Things like division of property, responsibility for debts and liabilities, child custody and visitation, as well as spousal maintenance and child support can all be thoroughly addressed in private sessions with your divorce mediator. With your divorce mediator, you and your spouse can work through these difficult issues in a flexible and confidential environment with the goal of coming to an agreement that best serves the family as a whole.

What Are the Benefits of Divorce Mediation on Long Island?

Divorce litigation often result in ongoing battles that can exhaust plenty of time, money, and add a great deal of stress to the whole family. Litigated divorces that are particularly contentious or complex can last for years, which can take an extreme toll on everyone involved. Most Long Island couples going through a divorce are looking for ways to save some money, and spare themselves of emotional difficulty when possible. Divorce mediation is a highly effective option that allows couples to take control of the outcome of their divorce rather than leaving decisions up to a judge. This means that your negotiation is done privately instead of in a Nassau County or Suffolk County courtroom. The confidentiality aspect of divorce mediation has a tremendous appeal to most. Furthermore, mediation tends to be far less expensive than divorce litigation, and will save you the stress of an ongoing divorce in court. Divorce mediation is also proven to be an effective and efficient manner of resolving divorce terms with minimal stress on the family, particularly the children.

What If I Don’t Think My Spouse and I Can Ever Come to an Agreement?

Many divorcing couples believe that mediation is not for them. Some believe that divorce mediation is only for couples who can already agree on the terms of the divorce. This is not, however, always the case. Instead, mediation is a process that helps couples to resolve some of their conflicts. In contrast with the adversarial approach of litigation, mediation encourages collaboration between the soon-to-be former spouses in order to reach a resolution through negotiation and compromise. All that is required for successful mediation is a willingness of the spouses to meet and review these issues. While it may seem as though you and your spouse will not be able to agree, many issues can be efficiently resolved in mediation with the help of an experienced divorce mediator. Even if there are some issues upon which you feel you are not willing to compromise, it is possible that open-minded negotiation on both sides can result in a plan that is agreeable to everyone.

What is the Role of the Divorce Mediator on Long Island?

A Long Island divorce mediator is a neutral third party who will moderate and counsel the discussions and negotiations between spouses. The divorce mediator does not represent either spouse or give advice; instead, the mediator may make suggestions based on the wishes of both parties, and encourage compromise and solutions that will satisfy everyone. Your divorce mediator will help you and your spouse to address one issue at a time in an logical and dispassionate environment. Your mediation sessions can take place weekly, bi-weekly, or on any schedule agreed upon by the spouses and the divorce mediator. The length of time and number of sessions it takes to mediate your divorce depends upon the complexity of the divorce and the ability of the spouses to work together cooperatively.  If you wish, you can bring your own attorney to mediation, although this is usually not necessary.

How Do I Get Started with Divorce Mediation?

When you first speak with your divorce mediator, he or she will ask you for some background information about your marriage and the issues that will need to be addressed in your divorce. This consultation may be done over the phone or in the divorce mediator’s office or conference room. Depending on your circumstances, your mediator may wish to meet with you and your spouse together or separately for the initial meeting. Separate meetings are in many cases beneficial at first so that your divorce mediator can obtain important background information and get your candid version of your goals for mediation.

How Do I Prepare for Divorce Mediation?

Because divorce is a complicated process in both the emotional and financial aspects, it is important to be organized. You will need to have your legal and financial documents in order, such as proof of income, assets, debts, and health and life insurance records. Your divorce mediator can provide you with a complete list of documents and information to have ready. Organization will not only decrease your level of stress as you begin mediation, but will likely result in a smoother process.

In addition to preparing your documents and scheduling for these sessions, it is also important to take care of yourself as best you can. Your divorce is likely an extremely stressful time, so it is important to do your best to maintain your wellness so that you are able to make the best decisions to achieve your objectives. It is important that you attend these sessions and make these important decisions with a clear head. If you feel you are not ready for divorce mediation, you should communicate this to your mediator. There may be other important steps that you can take to mentally prepare for mediation before you begin meeting with your spouse in a divorce mediation setting.

Many divorce mediators encourage spouses to refrain from discussing sensitive divorce issues outside the mediation sessions, as this can potentially lead to arguments and unwillingness to compromise in the mediation room.

How Long Does Divorce Mediation Take on Long Island?

Mediation can take place weekly, bi-weekly, or on any schedule agreed upon by the spouses and the mediator. The length of time it takes to mediate depends on the complexity of the divorce and the ability of the spouses to work together cooperatively.

What Else Should I Know About Divorce Mediation?

Divorce is plainly and simply not a quick and painless process, but some of the common sources of stress can be mitigated or avoided by mediation. It will help you to realize that there are likely some concessions that you will have to make as a result of ending a marriage, especially if you do not want the process to take an excessively long time. A good strategy is to be willing to make compromises on less important issues, while standing your ground on those issues that are most important to you. As much as you can, cultivate a cooperative spirit with your soon to be ex-spouse to increase the chances of reaching a quicker and more peaceful resolution. Unfortunately, many spouses become indignant during divorce, which truly costs them more in the long run.

What Happens After My Long Island Divorce Mediation is Completed?

Once your divorce mediation is successfully completed, you and your spouse will sign an agreement that will allow you to have an uncontested divorce. The uncontested divorce process on Long Island is far more efficient than its counterpart, the contested divorce. An uncontested divorce means that you and your spouse will not have to “contest” any issues in court. For this reason alone, divorce mediation is often far less stressful and costly than divorce litigation, and is a worthwhile pursuit for many divorcing couples.

Long Island Divorce Mediator Answers Your Questions at Free Consultation

If you have questions about whether divorce mediation is a good option for you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse, you can contact the Divorce Mediators in our Long Island office to discuss your concerns. At the Law Office of Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., P.C., we are experienced in Divorce Mediation in Nassau County and Suffolk County. Give us a call today at 631-923-1910 to arrange a free consultation.

Free Long Island Divorce Guide

Download our Free New York Divorce Guide

Our 41-page “Guide to New York Divorce: What You Need to Know Before Hiring a Divorce Lawyer in New York” written by an experienced family law lawyer, Long Island’s Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., provides you with real information on the divorce process and the laws it rests upon in the state of New York. This book will help give you a solid foundation upon which you can begin the process of making your family’s, life better. Download your Free Guide to New York Divorce here.