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7 Things Not to Say to Your Ex During Your Divorce

by | Dec 8, 2020 | Divorce Long Island, NY

Emotions tend to run rampant during a divorce, often making it difficult for you to measure your words. However, what you say to your ex can have a significant impact on your divorce case. Here are several things you should never say to your ex, no matter how angry you are, and why you should talk to an experienced divorce lawyer and family law attorney to learn how saying the wrong thing can hurt your divorce case.


#1. ‘I Cheated On You’

Whether you actually cheated on your spouse or not, saying so can automatically put you at a disadvantage during your divorce. Not only is it likely to make your ex more combative, but it may also impact your ability to petition for child custody or obtain fair and equitable distribution of property. Your case may be viewed unfavorably if infidelity is on the record, even if you’ve filed for a no-fault divorce.

#2. ‘The Kids Told Me They Hate You’

If you have children with your spouse, it may be tempting to bring them up during an argument when you feel backed into a corner. Even if your spouse seems like they’re doing everything they can to goad you, it’s important that you don’t sink to their level. Avoid setting the precedent that it’s acceptable to bring your children into the argument at all in such a way and instead, be firm that neither of you will weaponize the children against the other.

#3. ‘You’re Going to Regret That’

Your spouse may well come to regret their actions later on down the road, but saying as much can immediately come off as a threat. This may be true even if no direct threat is made and you could end up in legal trouble if something happens to your spouse. Don’t give them any ammunition that can be used against you to suggest that you are a danger to them or intend to harm them in any way.

#4. ‘I’m Moving Out of the House’

Continuing to live with your spouse in the marital home during the divorce process can be extremely challenging, especially if your spouse is working hard to make it as unpleasant as possible for you so you’ll leave. However tempted you may be to move out, leaving the marital home may potentially impact your ability to claim partial ownership during the property division stage of your divorce. Do what you can to keep the peace and maintain your own space until the divorce has been settled and the property has been awarded.

#5. ‘I Already Have Someone Else’

You might be tempted to tell your spouse that you’re already seeing someone else to “show” them that you’re already emotionally moving on. This doesn’t serve any purpose though and can actually make your divorce more difficult if your spouse decides to start contesting matters that they ordinarily may have been compliant with, such as alimony or child custody and visitation.

#6. ‘Take What You Want, I Don’t Care’

If your spouse contests the divorce and seems to fight you every step of the way, it may feel like your best option is to let them have whatever they want so you can just end it and start moving on. However, this could leave you with far less than you have a right to, which can ultimately make it more difficult for you to start your life again independently.

#7. ‘I Don’t Need an Attorney’

One thing you should absolutely never say is that you don’t need or want to have an attorney represent you during your divorce. Even if money is a little tight and affording a lawyer is difficult, it’s the best way to ensure that your rights and best interests are protected throughout the divorce process and going forward with your life. Making a mistake now could negatively impact your financially and emotionally for decades to come. Make sure you have your own, experienced, lawyer who is unaffiliated with your spouse or your spouse’s attorney in any way.

Getting a Divorce? Contact Long Island Divorce Lawyers & Family Law Attorneys Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. Today

Are you considering your divorce options or has your spouse served you with divorce papers? We can help. At Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C., we understand the many challenges faced by families going through the process of a Long Island divorce. Call today for a free consultation to discuss your legal needs at 631-923-1910.


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