As a Long Island child custody lawyer I see many clients who wish to modify their child custody orders for one reason or another. Modification of a child custody agreement is possible, although in Nassau County and Suffolk County it is no simple task.
As a Long Island child custody lawyer and divorce attorney, I’m seeing that now that the Holiday season is officially over and we’re back to our more normal routines, many Nassau and Suffolk residents are breathing a sigh of relief instead of feeling a residual sense of joy. Children of divorce, especially, might find that the abundance of gifts, parties and desserts does not quite feel so fulfilling in the midst of family stress. Even if divorced parents (or families) are not openly arguing or criticizing, the undertones of the problems that led to the divorce in the first place often quietly continue throughout the growth and development of the children of divorce.
For any family member involved in a divorce, learning to adjust to day-to-day life is no easy task, and the holidays only increase the challenge. For young children of divorced parents, the level of holiday stress of the holidays is often highly underestimated by the parents. These children are asked to split the holiday festivities between their parents and their two, separate families, and must often hear about their parents’ tensions or disputes about which days are spent with which parents, the precise pick-up and drop-off times, and other details along the way.
The holidays only exacerbate the already existing stress within a divorced family, and children are particularly sensitive to the rifts caused by the divorce. If you suspect that your children had a tough holiday season due to your divorce, it is not too late for you to address and validate your children’s feelings and concerns. It is also important to evaluate what, if any, role you might have played in contributing to your child’s feelings of stress, and how you might begin to ameliorate the effects and make changes in the New Year.
Especially for families with unresolved child custody and visitation issues, it is crucial that parents learn to communicate with one another in respectful and compassionate manner. Putting the children first during and after divorce means putting aside the anger, hurt, betrayal, and sadness that are directed at the other parent. The emotional needs of your children are far more important at this point, as children going through this process are sensitive and impressionable. Remember that the arguments, criticism, and guilt tripping can have long-term impact on childhood development. Unless there are real safety issues involved, make it a priority to encourage your child’s relationships with both parents. Your child should not have to feel guilty for loving or being with his other parent.
Parents should commit to working through their own anger and control issues, as this will benefit their children greatly in the long run. Professional counseling can be a great tool for both parents and children involved in a divorce. Here are some other guidelines to follow if you are concerned about how your divorce is affecting your children:
Among the New Year’s Resolutions you may have made for yourself, consider committing to these guidelines as much as you can. By doing so, you can give your children the freedom to feel safe and happy wherever they are. Divorce is difficult on the children even without the emotional issues between parents. Recovering from a difficult divorce can be a long and difficult process, but with self-awareness and attentive parenting, the bonds between family members can be strengthened rather than worn down.
To learn more about what you need to know about Child Custody on Long Island, visit this page on Child Custody or contact us at 631-923-1910 for a complimentary consultation
If you have questions about a child support, custody, or visitation issue, and are not sure how to best proceed, contact the Law Office of Robert E. Hornberger, P.C. for a free consultation with a premier Long Island family lawyer and divorce attorney.
Download our Free New York Divorce GuideOur 41-page “Guide to New York Divorce: What You Need to Know Before Hiring a Divorce Lawyer in New York” written by an experienced family law lawyer Long Island’s Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., provides you with real information on the divorce process and the laws it rests upon in the state of New York. This book will help give you a solid foundation upon which you can begin the process of making your family’s, life better. Download your Free Guide to New York Divorce here.
As a Family Law and Child Custody Attorney practicing on Long Island, I see that many divorcing parents in Nassau County and Suffolk County have questions about their rights to visitation with their children after divorce.
Arrangements for child custody and visitation can be one of the most difficult agreements for divorcing parents to make, but coming to a private agreement about visitation rather than making the courts decide can result in better outcomes for the children and parents. Parents can avoid the time, cost, and stress of litigating child visitation issues by trying to put differences aside in order to come to a private agreement. Courts in Nassau County and Suffolk County on Long Island are governed by New York state law, which is designed to encourage parents to work together whenever possible to create an amicable environment for the children.
When divorced or separated parents cannot come to a private agreement about child custody and visitation, a court in Nassau County or Suffolk County will likely issue a custody and visitation order, which can include a detailed visitation schedule. When one parent is granted full or sole custody of a child or children, the noncustodial parent is often entitled to visitation with the child. The visitation schedule crafted by the court will consider the schedules and locations of the parents and children, and will keep the best interests of the child in mind, as well as the best interests of the family as a whole.
You should be aware that in Nassau County and Suffolk County, visitation arrangements are no longer confined to an “every-other-weekend” schedule as many parents may believe. Presently, many noncustodial parents are awarded weekly weeknight and weekend visitation, which is arranged based upon the schedules of both parents as well as the child’s or children’s activities.
When issuing a visitation order, courts have the discretion to allow parents to work out the schedules on their own, or to impose specific dates and times for visitation, including pickup and return times and locations, holiday arrangements, and where the children may or may not travel during visits. When the parents can get along well enough to work out details between one another so that they can accommodate everyone’s schedules and locations, courts will likely allow the parents to arrange the details privately. When a divorce is not amicable and parents cannot seem to agree on any point, the court will clearly define the terms of the agreement so that there is no ambiguity and less room for manipulation or argument.
The wishes of minor children will be taken into account, and more weight is given to the wishes of older children. Nassau County and Suffolk County Courts will try to accommodate the children’s wishes in most cases; however, the court will also consider the influences on the child’s wishes as well as the maturity level of the child.
In some cases, noncustodial parents will not be entitled to visitation. Cases in which there is abuse, neglect, or abandonment can result in a withholding of visitation rights, or in extreme cases, a termination of parental rights. As the bottom line for the courts is the best interests of the child, any visitation that could be emotionally or physically damaging to the child is unlikely to be ordered by the court. Visitation may be withheld from parents who are abusive, or who struggle with drug or alcohol addiction (especially if they refuse treatment), emotional volatility, or a propensity to disregard court orders.
Visitation petitions can be filed in the Family Court or the Supreme Court in order to ask the court for an initial order of visitation, or to request modification of an existing order. Child custody and visitation orders can be included in the divorce or separation agreement, or can be made by a separate order of the court. Custody or visitation may also be modified by the court upon the petition of a parent if circumstantial changes have occurred that warrant a change in the custody or visitation arrangements. For example, if a parent’s work schedule has changed, or if a parent is relocating, courts may find that a significant change in circumstances has occurred that makes modification necessary. Finally, if a visitation order is being violated, a parent can file a violation petition in order to address the violation. In response, the court will use its discretion and may terminate or reduce visitation rights.
See this page to learn everything you need to know about Child Custody and Visitation on Long Island.
To learn more about what you need to know about Child Custody on Long Island, visit this page on Child Custody or contact us at 631-923-1910 for a complimentary consultation.
Child custody and visitation is one of the most sensitive issues in the divorce or separation process in Nassau County and Suffolk County, NY. Confide in a trusted Long Island Child Custody Lawyer and Family Law attorney and to address your family’s unique circumstances and needs in order to ensure the best possible outcome for your children and family. If you have questions about your visitation rights in Nassau County, Suffolk County, or the five boroughs of New York City, contact the Family Law Office of Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. at 631-923-1910 for a free, confidential consultation.
Our 41-page “Guide to New York Divorce: What You Need to Know Before Hiring a Divorce Lawyer in New York” written by an experienced family law lawyer Long Island’s Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., provides you with real information on the divorce process and the laws it rests upon in the state of New York. This book will help give you a solid foundation upon which you can begin the process of making your family’s, life better. Download your Free Guide to New York Divorce here.
As a Long Island Family Law lawyer practicing in Nassau County and Suffolk County, I have seen some very special relationships between grandparents and their grandchildren.
The relationship between a grandparent and grandchild is often an important part of family life and child development because grandparents often offer a source of steady, experienced support throughout a child’s upbringing. Although there is a legally recognized value in the grandparent-grandchild relationship, the complexity of family dynamics and relationships often make the determination of grandparent rights difficult. Courts in Nassau County and Suffolk County on Long Island, New York often view the facts on a case-by-case basis. As an increasing number of grandparents care for grandchildren while both parents work outside the home and play an important role in a child’s life, grandparents’ rights have become an increasing concern for all family members.
The rights of grandparents to visitation with grandchildren on Long Island are governed by New York State Domestic Relations Law Section 72. Grandparents have the right to petition for visitation rights with their grandchildren; however, this section of the law merely serves as a means by which grandparents may assert their rights to visitation – it does not grant an automatic right. Under certain circumstances, such as the death of one of the child’s parents, the law is relatively clear with respect to the grandparents’ right to maintain a relationship with the child. However, in other circumstances, such as where hostile relationships and animosity within the family result in barriers to grandparent visitation, grandparents’ rights become less clear. Nevertheless, the law exists to protect grandparents and grandchildren, and Section 72 has been applied uniquely to varying circumstances.
Grandparents may petition for visitation rights when they are deprived of contact with their grandchild because of (1) the death of their child, (2) the divorce of their child, or (3) the adoption of the grandchild. However, in some cases, the court may extend the grandparents’ rights to visitation to cases when visitation is being withheld by the parents.
While the best interests of the child are an important consideration and given significant weight by Nassau County and Suffolk County courts, in general, courts in New York also look at the impact of the visitation on the family as a whole. In fact, the Court of Appeals held that the best interests of the child cannot be the only factor considered in granting visitation to grandparents. Courts may also consider the rights of parents to educate and socialize their children in a way that they feel is appropriate.
The difficulty lies in weighing the best interests of the child against those of the parents, and even the family as a whole. For example, if an extraordinary circumstance exists, such as an extended disruption of custody in which the grandparents were the sole caretaker of the child, then the best interests of the child may be given increased weight in a court’s decision. A lengthy separation between a parent and child during which the child resided with the grandparents may suggest that the grandparents are the natural substitute guardians for the child, and that visitation should be granted.
In such circumstances where there is a lengthy separation between a parent and child, there is often an issue pertaining the parent’s stability or mental health, a factor which Nassau County or Suffolk County Family Courts will likely take into consideration upon hearing a petition for grandparent’s visitation rights. When the grandparents care for the grandchildren for years or even months at a time, there is a strong possibility that their rights will be protected by the law. In this situation, the best interests of the child are at stake in that denial of grandparent visitation after such an arrangement may be damaging to the child and result in the loss of a secure and stable relationship.
Family members may wish to enter into private, consensual agreements regarding child visitation to avoid what can often be a stressful experience in Nassau County Family Court or Suffolk County Family Court. Some may be of the opinion that grandparent visitation laws encourage courts to intervene in private family affairs. Indeed, compromise is often in the best interests of all involved. However, when a compromise cannot be reached, certain family members have rights that are recognized by the law.
It is also important to understand the difference between grandparent visitation and grandparent custody. Grandparent custody may be granted in instances of child abuse or neglect, or a termination of parental rights. Visitation may be granted to grandparents in cases where a child is adopted outside of the family, one of the child’s parents passes away or the child’s parents are divorced. However, in most cases, adoption of the child outside the family will foreclose any right of the grandparents to obtain custody of the child.
See this page to learn everything you need to know about Child Custody and Visitation on Long Island.
To learn more about what you need to know about Child Custody on Long Island, visit this page on Child Custody or contact us at 631-923-1910 for a complimentary consultation.
A Long Island family law attorney or divorce lawyer can best help you to protect your rights and interests concerning your family. Reach out to the Law Offices of Robert E. Hornberger, Esq. at 631-923-1910 for a free confidential consultation, or fill out the form on this page and we’ll get right back to you.
For more information about how to protect yourself and your children during your divorce in Nassau County of Suffolk County, contact a Long Island divorce attorney with great experience in child support and other divorce and family law matters. Long Island’s Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., PC and his compassionate and experienced divorce lawyers can help. Call us at 631-923-1910 for a complimentary, confidential consultation or fill out the short form on this page and we’ll get right back to you.
Our 41-page “Guide to New York Divorce: What You Need to Know Before Hiring a Divorce Lawyer in New York” written by an experienced divorce lawyer Long Island’s Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., provides you with real information on the divorce process and the laws it rests upon in the state of New York. This book will help give you a solid foundation upon which you can begin the process of making your family’s, life better. Download your Free Guide to New York Divorce here.
As a divorce attorney on Long Island, I’ve seen that child custody is one of the most contentious of issues in a divorce in Nassau County or Suffolk County courts. If custody of your unemancipated child(ren) is a contested issue during your divorce, chances are the judge assigned to your matter will appoint an attorney to represent your children, otherwise known as a Law Guardian. During your Long Island Divorce the Law Guardian has one purpose and one purpose only – to represent your children.
When meeting with a Law Guardian, he or she will speak to your children privately, although at times he or she will request to speak with you and your spouse as well. If your children see a therapist or attend school, the Law Guardian may also request to speak with those individuals to obtain additional information. However, once your children turn 18, neither you nor the Court can order them to live with either you or your spouse.
The Law Guardian plays the most important role in matters where parents are unable to agree with each other as it pertains to custody and visitation of their unemancipated children. In these cases, the Law Guardian’s goal is to shield your children from being placed in the middle of a nasty divorce battle between you and your spouse.
If your case proceeds to trial in Nassau County or Suffolk County court on the issue of custody, the Law Guardian will call witnesses and state his or her case just the same as your divorce attorney. However, the point which he or she will try to make may be different from that of your attorney – the Law Guardian will need to show that custody with one parent over the other is in the best interests of the child.
In some instances, parents will settle the issue of child custody and visitation without a trial. This is done by a Custody Agreement on Consent, meaning that both parents consent to the terms set forth therein. Naturally, one would assume that due to this the Court or the Law Guardian cannot appeal the agreement. However, the Second Department case of Velez v. Alvarez, which was decided on June 26, 2015, held that a Law Guardian may appeal from an order of custody on consent.
In Velez, the parties entered into a custody agreement on consent which provided that the parties would have joint legal custody of the unemancipated children. In the event the parties were unable to reach an agreement, the Mother would have final decision-making authority. However, this order was entered over the objection of the Law Guardian, and therefore, the Law Guardian had the right to appeal from said order.
The Court noted that although “the paramount concern in any custody or visitation determination is the best interests of the child, under the totality of the circumstances”, it cannot enter an order of custody “based upon controverted allegations without the benefit of a full hearing.” Velez v. Alvarez, 129 A.D.3d 1096 (2d Dep’t 2015). The Law Guardian felt the custody agreement entered into between the parties was not in the best interests of the children involved, and therefore, when the agreement was entered against his wishes, he appealed it. On appeal the Second Department found that the Family Court did not have sufficient facts in its possession to “render an informed and provident determination as to the best interests of the subject children.” Id. Therefore, the case was remanded to the Family Court for further fact finding inquiries.
This case likely causes discomfort in the minds of many parents going through a divorce on Long Island. However, your Long Island divorce attorney should be equipped with the knowledge necessary to know how to prevent this type of outcome. First and foremost, any time there is an issue of custody your attorney should seek for you to be put on the record and for the judge to conduct a hearing. This way, any determination is based upon your sworn testimony, and not simply motion papers. Additionally, your Long Island divorce attorney should be prepared with witnesses whom he or she may call to testify on your behalf if need be. Because the law states there must be a hearing before a custody determination, it is in your best interests for your attorney to insist on a hearing being performed in your matter.
See this page to learn everything you need to know about Child Custody and Visitation on Long Island.
To learn more about what you need to know about Child Custody on Long Island, visit this page on Child Custody or contact us at 631-923-1910 for a complimentary consultation.
For more information about how to protect yourself and your children during your divorce in Nassau County of Suffolk County, contact Long Island divorce attorney with great experience in contested child custody cases. Long Island’s Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., PC and his compassionate and experienced divorce lawyers can help. Call us at 631-923-1910 for a complimentary, confidential consultation or fill out the short form on this page and we’ll get right back to you.
Our 41-page “Guide to New York Divorce: What You Need to Know Before Hiring a Divorce Lawyer in New York” written by an experienced divorce lawyer Long Island’s Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., provides you with real information on the divorce process and the laws it rests upon in the state of New York. This book will help give you a solid foundation upon which you can begin the process of making your family’s, life better. Download your Free Guide to New York Divorce here.
As a divorce lawyer on Long Island, I have seen that many couples, after their divorce, find it difficult to communicate with each other calmly and rationally regarding their children. At first, emotions are raw and it is unlikely you wish to engage in any type of communication with your now ex-spouse. After a time, emotions calm down but other issues develop that can complicate the issue.
As children grow older they become involved in a multitude of activities, making it difficult for both parents to enjoy consistent, uninterrupted, scheduled parenting time. The non-custodial parent often begins to feel as though the custodial parent is scheduling doctor’s appointments, swimming lessons or dance classes during his or her parenting time, when, in reality, this may have been the only time available. These types of miscommunications and assumptions are exactly what lead to fights and arguments down the road.
As a divorce attorney serving Suffolk County and Nassau County I encourage my clients to maintain open channels of communication with each other after their divorce is finalized. However, I realize this may be difficult as time goes on and their daily lives become less inter-twined. Therefore, when I received a brochure in the mail for a program called “The Our Family Wizard” I saw it as a useful tool for my clients and any potential clients.
What is “The Our Family Wizard”?
“The Our Family Wizard” is a computer software program designed to minimize miscommunication and arguments between parents who have joint legal custody of their children. Joint legal custody means that both you and your ex-spouse have the right to be involved in major decisions on behalf of your children, such as those relating to education, religion and health. The software, which contains the following features, can be installed on a desktop computer, laptop or downloaded as an application on a mobile smartphone.
1. Calendar. The calendar feature allows you and your ex-spouse to set the parenting schedule as you see fit. You have the ability to input information such as designated parenting time, requests for changes in the parenting schedule and the children’s after school activities or scheduled appointments. Families in Nassau County and Suffolk County use their phones for everything these days. Now, you can swap your old handwritten journal and schedules filled with parenting issues for a simple application on your iPhone, Droid, Blackberry or Kindle Fire. It will most likely be with you all the time and you won’t have to worry about losing that scrap of paper with your child’s reschedule soccer game ever again.
2. Message Board. With the message board you can communicate with your ex-spouse with the ease of an e-mail. You or your ex-spouse will receive an instant notification when the other makes an entry or a request for change on the calendar. This way, there is no chance of miscommunication, or either party failing to receive a message. Each and every message regarding your children is sent via “The Our Family Wizard” secure, private sever.
3. Expense Log. Perhaps the most important feature for Long Island couples who have been divorced in Nassau County or Suffolk County is the expense log. Most parents enter into child support agreements where they are each supposed to pay their pro-rata share of the cost of the children’s unreimbursed medical expenses and extracurricular and educational activities. In reality though, once couples are divorced and the children reside mainly with one parent, that parent tends to absorb the majority of the cost of the children’s day-to-day expenses. To combat this, these expenses can be tracked using “The Our Family Wizard” expense log feature. The paying parent has the ability to input all the appropriate information, including the amount of payment, what it was for and when it was made, and the software will calculate each parent’s pro-rata share. From there, the non-paying parent will receive notification of the payment and their share through the message board. Once the payment is received it may be marked as “paid,” which provides both parents with an easy way to keep track of those payments which are satisfied and those which are due and owning.
“The Our Family Wizard” takes the guess work out of co-parenting. You no longer have to provide your ex-spouse with receipts for every item purchased or co-pay paid for. You no longer have to call your ex-spouse every time you need to request a change in the parenting schedule. Having everything related to your children in one place makes the aftermath of a Nassau County or Suffolk County, Long Island divorce that much easier.
For more information about how to keep the lines of communication open with your spouse before and after your Long Island Divorce, contact an experienced Long Island divorce attorney. Long Island’s Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., PC and his compassionate and experienced divorce lawyers can help. Call us at 631-923-1910 for a complimentary, confidential consultation or fill out the short form on this page and we’ll get right back to you
Our 41-page “Guide to New York Divorce: What You Need to Know Before Hiring a Divorce Lawyer in New York” written by an experienced divorce lawyer Long Island’s Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., provides you with real information on the divorce process and the laws it rests upon in the state of New York. This book will help give you a solid foundation upon which you can begin the process of making your family’s, life better. Download your Free Guide to New York Divorce here.
As an experienced divorce lawyer on Long Island, I have seen that the summer vacation period can be a very stressful period for parents, especially those who are divorced or separated. The summer vacation period, that is, the period of time that our children are off from school beginning around the middle or the end of June until around Labor Day (with some school districts having students returning just before and others just after the Holiday) can be the cause of much stress for parents, especially those parents who are separated or divorced.
Dozens of decisions about child-rearing have to be made with your former spouse, such as:
An experienced Long Island Divorce lawyer or Long Island Family Law Attorney should be able to guide his or her clients toward making intelligent decisions about how to share the child(ren), their activities and the costs during this time.
What are My Options?
Whether your custodial arrangement is joint or sole or even shared, the Summer Vacation period affords parents options that the more stringent requirements of the school schedule do not. For example, while some parents will adhere to a schedule in which the children sleep only in the custodial parent’s home on school nights, during the Summer, many of those parents will agree to share the summer vacation time. Some parents will share the children a week at a time, or split the week days and continue alternating weekends, while some parents will actually go day to day. Some parents will go month to month with one parent having the children for July and the other for August. This option is popular among parents who live far apart (such as a situation where one of the parents move off Long Island or out of state).
What is important to understand that since the children do not have to be up at a particular time to go to school the next day and since they do not have homework to complete, you can be more flexible with the schedule.
Child Care Options
If you are a teacher (with summers off) or a domestic engineer (stay-at-home parent or primary caretaker), you probably don’t worry about child care during the summer because you care for your children during the summer the same way you do during the school year. However, if both parents are employed, the summer vacation period can pose a dilemma.
Some parents are fortunate enough to have grandparents who are retired and local who can watch the children. Other parents will send the children away for the summer to visit an aunt or an uncle off Long Island or out off the country. Other parents will employ traditional child care either in or outside the home while others will enroll the children in a number of activities and camps to keep them occupied in supervised activities. Some parents are able to mirror their schedules so that when one is working the other is off and vice versa.
If you are not fortunate enough to have a relative or neighbor who can watch your children, and, you cannot mirror your schedules, then, you will likely incur some cost for child care. This is where you will need the services of a good Long divorce lawyer or Long Island child custody Attorney.
A good divorce lawyer on Long Island should ensure the cost of child care or camp in this situation should be shared in proportion to the parents’ respective incomes. For example, if the parents have equal incomes, then, they will share the expense equally, however, if one parent earns twice that of the other, that parent will pay 2/3 and the other parent will pay 1/3 of the cost.
Transportation Options
When possible, parents should share the responsibility of transporting the children back and forth to child care, camp and/or their activities. One parent can drop the children off in the morning and the other can pick them up in the afternoon. Or, if the parents have a week on week off type of schedule, one week the parent who has the children will provide transportation and next week the other parent will when they have the children. Again, one parent should not shoulder the entire responsibility, if possible.
Vacation Options
The Summer Vacation period also affords parents an opportunity to take the children away to explore new adventures. Whether it is a European vacation, a trip to Disney, a cruise, a rental on the shore, etc., taking your children away is good for their development and can serve as a well-deserved reward for a getting good grades or other good behavior throughout the school year.
Parents should be excited for the children to be going away, even it is with the other parent. Your child custody or divorce lawyer on Long Island should be able to help you craft a schedule that affords you the opportunity to take your children on vacation at least once during the summer. Of course this also means you need to make arrangements with your spouse regarding appropriate notice provisions, passport access provisions, itinerary provisions, etc. And, if your attorney does not suggest any of the aforementioned to you when working out your parenting plan, it is safe to say you should seek another opinion.
If you have questions about making a summer parenting plan with your child or children’s other parent, consult with an experienced Long Island divorce lawyer. Long Island’s Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., PC’s compassionate and experienced divorce attorneys can help. Call us at 631-923-1910 for a complimentary, confidential consultation or fill out the short form on this page and we’ll get right back to you
Our 41-page “Guide to New York Divorce: What You Need to Know Before Hiring a Divorce Lawyer in New York” written by an experienced Divorce Attorney Long Island’s Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., provides you with real information on the divorce process and the laws it rests upon in the state of New York. This book will help give you a solid foundation upon which you can begin the process of making your family’s, life better. Download your Free Guide to New York Divorce here.
As a Long Island Divorce Lawyer, I have been captivated by the sweeping headlines of the past five years, and especially throughout the last couple weeks, regarding the heart-wrenching story of a Colorado man who never gave up hope of seeing his two daughters again. The story begins around 2010, when the man, Dennis Burns, was granted residential custody of his two children after a heated legal battle with his soon to be ex-wife, Ana Alianelli. Shortly thereafter, Ms. Alianelli took the parties’ two children to her native Argentina against both Burn’s wishes and the Court Order which stated the children were to reside with their father. After approximately five long years, numerous trips to Argentina, multiple court appearances and appeals and countless sleepless nights, Mr. Burns was finally reunited with his children in April 2015.
Please keep in mind there are underlying international abduction and kidnapping issues at play in the Burns’ matter; however, putting those aside for a moment, I believe the case highlighted certain aspects of custody battles which are important to couples experiencing similar circumstances in Nassau County and Suffolk County during their Long Island Divorce. In reading articles and watching news programs about the Burns family, the phrase “best interests of the child” was continuously mentioned.
If you’ve read in prior posts on the subject of Child Custody on this Long Island Divorce Law website, you will know that the best interests of the child is the standard used by the Courts in Nassau and Suffolk counties, and all divorce courts in New York state, when making a child custody determination.
Pretend for a moment there are no international issues involved, the parties in this case both reside within the State of New York and Ms. Alianelli legally relocated with the children from Long Island to Buffalo. Five years later, Mr. Burns files with the Family Court seeking a modification of the current child custody order to declare him the residential parent and order Ms. Alianelli to return the children to Long Island. Not only would the court consider whether the potential relocation was in the best interests of the children, but it would also consider whether the potential change in custody was in the child’s best interests.
Taking facts from the Burns’ matter and simply replacing Argentina with Buffalo, the court would certainly consider the fact that while in Buffalo with the children Ms. Alianelli refused to allow Mr. Burns reasonable access to them. Although there was an existing Court Order which directed Ms. Alianelli to allow Mr. Burns to communicate with the children via Skype three times a week, Ms. Alianelli continuously and willfully violated this Order. It is the court’s strong opinion that it is in the best interests of the children to have two loving and caring parents. Naturally, the court looks unfavorably upon one parent if he or she alienates the children from the other parent.
Furthermore, Ms. Alianelli refused to allow the children to speak to their paternal grandparents while in Buffalo. However, upon the children’s return to Long Island, Mr. Burns seems more than willing to facilitate their relationship with their mother, even permitting their mother to travel from Buffalo to Long Island with them and agreeing to allow their mother to enjoy supervised visitation with the children.
If you are seeking custody or a modification of custody you must demonstrate that you foster a relationship between not only the children and their other parent, but also between your children and the other parent’s family.
As stated, it is important to keep in mind there were underlying international issues at play in the Burns matter, however, the three factors previously mentioned play an extremely important role in your Long Island Divorce if there is a custody battle, or if you believe there is the potential for a custody battle. As much as you and your soon to be ex-spouse may not get along or cannot stand to be in the same room together, you cannot let that get in the way of the child or children’s relationship with their parents. If you truly seek to be the residential parent, you must facilitate and foster the relationship between your children and their other parent, as well as their relationship with the children and their extended family.
To learn more about what you need to know about Child Custody on Long Island, visit this page on Child Custody or contact us at 631-923-1910 for a complimentary consultation.
If you have questions about your children’s custody or need more information about issues of Child Custody in Nassau County or Suffolk County on Long Island, you should immediately consult a local divorce lawyer. Long Island’s Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., PC’s compassionate and experienced divorce attorneys can help. Call us at 631-923-1910 for a complimentary, confidential consultation or fill out the short form on this page and we’ll get right back to you.
Our 41-page “Guide to New York Divorce: What You Need to Know Before Hiring a Divorce Lawyer in New York” written by an experienced Divorce Attorney Long Island’s Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., provides you with real information on the divorce process and the laws it rests upon in the state of New York. This book will help give you a solid foundation upon which you can begin the process of making your family’s, life better. Download your Free Guide to New York Divorce here.
When most people contemplate the term “parental alienation” they imagine a mother or girlfriend refusing to allow or making it difficult for her husband or boyfriend to see his children. However that could not be farther from the truth. Parental alienation comes in all shapes and sizes, including husbands and boyfriends who refuse to let their children see or have meaningful interactions with their mother. Therefore, if you find yourself in a situation which you believe may be tantamount to parental alienation, it is important to be aware of a few of the warning signs. What is Parental Alienation? Parental alienation is a term developed by psychologists in the 1980s which is used to describe children who seem to unreasonably reject and/or withdraw from their non-custodial parent. The consequences of parental alienation affect the relationship between the child and the non-custodial parent, but the custodial parent is often the cause of the problem. As the non-custodial parent, it is important to take note if your child seems to be engaging in any of the following behaviors, especially after spending an extended period of time with the custodial parent, or, if the custodial parent engages in any of the following behaviors:
The above is, of course, not an all-inclusive list. You should speak to your Nassau County or Suffolk County Divorce Attorney for more specific details and circumstances which may be considered parental alienation. To find out more specific details and circumstances which may be considered parental alienation, speak to your Nassau County or Suffolk County Divorce Attorney; Long Island residents can contact Robert E. Hornberger, Esq. for more information. Why is the Custodial Parent Attempting to Alienate Me from Our Child? There are a variety of reasons why the custodial parent would attempt to, for lack of better words, sabotage your relationship with your child. Because parental alienation is often referred to as a “syndrome,” I will refer to the reasons set forth by various psychologists:
What Recourse Do I Have as a Non-Custodial Parent in the State of New York? The Second Department recently ruled on the issue of parental alienation as it pertains to New York’s “best interests of the child” standard in the March 25, 2015 case of Matter of Halioris, 2015 NY Slip OP 02479. As your Long Island Divorce Attorney will likely inform you, in order to modify a custody arrangement the movant must be able to show that there was a substantial change in circumstances and that the change of custody is in the best interests of the child. In Matter of Halioris, the mother was the custodial parent and the Father was the non-custodial parent. Based upon the mother’s parental alienation of the child to the father, the Court found that a “transfer of sole custody to the father would be in the children’s best interests.” Most importantly however was the Court’s notation that “[p]arental alienation of a child from the other parent is ‘an act so inconsistent with the best interest of the children as to, per se, raise a strong probability that the [offending parent] is unfit to act as custodial parent.” Accordingly, because the best interests of the child are among the most important considerations when making a custody determination, the Court granted the father’s petition for a modification of custody.
See this page to learn everything you need to know about Child Custody and Visitation on Long Island.
Long Island residents who need more information about issues of Parental Alienation should consult a local divorce attorney. Long Island’s Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., PC’s compassionate and experienced divorce attorneys can help. Looking for legal services from an experienced and knowledgeable divorce attorney? Long Island residents can call us at 631-923-1910 for a complimentary, confidential consultation or fill out the short form on this page and we’ll get right back to you.
Our 41-page “Guide to New York Divorce: What You Need to Know Before Hiring a Divorce Lawyer in New York” written by an experienced Divorce Attorney Long Island’s Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., provides you with real information on the divorce process and the laws it rests upon in the state of New York. This book will help give you a solid foundation upon which you can begin the process of making your family’s, life better. Download your Free Guide to New York Divorce here.
When you get divorced on Long Island, New York, you and your spouse will be faced with many decisions. One of those decisions will be what type of child custody arrangement you will enter into. While there are many types, the two most common are Joint Legal Custody and Joint Residential Custody, and both of these raise concerns when dealing with the child’s education.
Joint Legal Custody is an arrangement you and your spouse may enter into that allows you both to play a role in all major decision making on behalf of the child. This may include issues involving the child’s health, religion and education. Naturally, you and your spouse may opt to include other decisions as “major decisions” in your Settlement or Separation Agreement.
Joint Residential Custody simply allows both parents to have physical custody of the children on an equal basis.
As a divorce lawyer on Long Island, New York, I have a great deal of experience explaining the implications both joint legal and joint residential custody may have when it comes time to consider your child’s education. When you enter into a joint legal custody arrangement with your spouse, it is important to be aware that you both will continue to have the legal right to access any and all of your child’s educational records.
According to the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act, educational records are anything that is maintained by a school that is receiving federal funding which contains information that would allow you to directly identify the student. This means that both you and your ex-spouse will have access to any records maintained by the school concerning your child. While this is of concern to some parents, if you are considering entering into a joint legal custody arrangement, it is likely that you and your spouse have a somewhat amicable relationship and you would not object to him or her being involved in the child’s education.
On the other hand, joint residential custody prevents a greater barrier to a child’s education than joint legal custody. Under Section 3202 of New York’s Education Law, children “are entitled to attend school in the District where they reside” tuition free. To establish residence within a specific district, the student and/or parent must show that the student is physically present within the confines of the school district and has the intent to remain there. If your child does not reside within the boundaries of a specific school district, they still may be entitled to attend school but on the condition that tuition be paid. You may be wondering how this ties into your Long Island Divorce, but it plays a greater role than you may imagine. If you and your spouse elect a joint residential custody arrangement, your child technically resides in two homes, and may be two school districts. For educational purposes, a child can only have one residence. Therefore, if you and your spouse reside in different school districts, your child may not be a resident of either and you may be faced with a situation of having to pay tuition for an otherwise free public school education.
The easiest way to prevent barriers to your child’s education is to elect to enter into a joint legal custody arrangement, with only one parent having residential custody. This way, both parents will have access to the child’s school records but the child will have one residence for purposes of the school districts. Your Long Island divorce lawyer can guide you as to specific parenting time schedules to be placed in your stipulation of settlement or separation agreement so both parents are provided ample time with the child.
A second possible solution is to elect a joint physical custody arrangement, but declare one parent the residential parent for educational purposes. This way, both parents may be permitted to have the child on an equal basis, but the child will attend school in the district of the designated parent. If you decide to enter such an arrangement, keep in mind that a school district may not provide your child transportation outside of the district’s boundaries. Therefore, you and your spouse may opt to live close to one another so you can provide transportation if the district refuses.
While each divorce is different, the above are a few general points of consideration to think about when faced with decisions regarding child custody on Long Island and how that will affect your child’s education.
See this page to learn everything you need to know about Child Custody and Visitation on Long Island.
To learn more about what you need to know about Child Custody on Long Island, visit this page on Child Custody or contact us at 631-923-1910 for a complimentary consultation.
The experienced and compassionate divorce attorneys at Robert E. Hornberger, Esq. P.C. have helped hundreds of Long Island couples resolved their divorce and Child Custody and Support issues amicably and affordably. Contact us today at 631-923-1910 to schedule your free, no-obligation consultation with an experienced Long Island divorce attorney.
