Child Custody and Visitation are often two of the most challenging aspects of divorce for Long Island, NY families.

Family dynamics are constantly changing and sometimes this means the old ways of doing things just don’t work in many circumstances anymore. For many families, traditional visitation becomes difficult, if not impossible, due to external circumstances out of their control.

It’s still critically important for children in these circumstances to engage with their parents. When traditional child visitation is impractical or impossible, virtual visitation can address these issues. Here’s what to know about video visitation and when it might be right for you and your family.

Why Child Visitation and Parenting Time is Important

Courts understand that finding ways to move past barriers to visitation is key to the health and wellbeing of a child. When kids don’t have an ongoing relationship with one or both parents growing up, it can have a negative impact on their mental and emotional health. This often leads to problems like anxiety and depression later in life.

For a child to develop properly, it’s best for them to have a sincere, worthwhile relationship with each of their parents. Children need to know that they’re loved and supported, even if their parents no longer want a relationship with each other. Video visitation can help facilitate worthwhile engagement when other methods aren’t practicable.

The Definition of Video & Virtual Visitation

Video visitation is a type of online visitation that involves parents talking to their kids via webcam. While this is one of the main ways virtual visitation takes place, other forms of non-in-person visitation communication can also be included. Some of those practices include:

• Phone calls
• Emails
• Letters via snail mail
• Engagement on each other’s social media profiles
• Texting and direct messages
• Voice messages

Video visitation is often used in conjunction with other methods of virtual visitation to help create a solid foundation for a child’s relationship with their noncustodial parent.

When is Video Visitation Helpful?

Video visitation can be a great way for families to stay connected when they’re physically apart. For example, if one parent is staying out of town with the kids, the other can still visit with them. Or, if a parent is on an extended business trip, video or other virtual visitation techniques can help maintain the child-parent relationship with the parent out of town. Or, if a parent is going through rehabilitation, video visitation helps them stay meaningfully engaged with their children until traditional visits can be resumed.

Tips for Navigating Video Visitation Sessions

Video and virtual visitation can seem intimidating at first, especially if you’re entirely new to engaging with your child outside your previous family dynamic. Here are some tips to help you get started:  

• Make sure your camera and microphone are working before video visitation visits. If you have a virtual video visit scheduled, take a few minutes before the appointment time to make sure everything is in working order. Check your video and audio to make sure that you can be seen and heard and that your speakers are on and in working order. Nothing can derail a virtual visitation in both the child and parent’s mind as technical difficulties and frustration getting the visit started. This can put such a negative spin on the whole experience that either or both parties may abandon the practice altogether.
• Speak plainly and slowly, especially if your children are young. Take into account that there will probably be a bit of a delay in the audio and video feeds. Speak clearly and pause in between sentences so your children can understand you. Turn your volume up so you can hear and understand your child, too.
• Write letters and send pictures or small gifts to your kids too. Tangible things like cards, photographs, and even small, inexpensive trinkets can be incredibly special to kids and help them feel more physically connected to their parents in between virtual visits. While it may seem “old fashioned”, there is still something special about receiving a letter in the “snail mail”. It shows you took the time and are thinking about them even when you’re not able to communicate virtually.
• If your children are older, interact with them on social media. Liking and commenting on your child’s posts are a great way to connect with them using their language. Just be sure the court knows of your activity and you haven’t been barred from social media engagement with your child for any reason. And make sure your child appreciates communicating in this way. Many children consider social media “their thing” and may feel their parent is intruding on their personal life.

How an Experienced and Qualified Long Island, NY Child Custody Lawyer Can Help with Virtual Visitation

If you’re going through a child custody dispute and need creative visitation arrangements, you need an experienced divorce lawyer and family law attorney on your side. At Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C., our qualified Long Island, NY divorce and family attorneys have a solid track record of success and can apply their skills and expertise to your case for the best possible outcome.

Contact us today for more information or to book a free initial consultation to discuss your case in detail with one of our lawyers. Call now at 631-923-1910 or fill out our quick online message form and our team will get back to you as soon as possible. We’re standing by to assist you with all of your family legal needs.

Getting divorced is an emotional and stressful experience for all involved, but as a divorced or divorcing father you have special and unique concerns. One of the biggest issues for divorced dads on Long Island, NY are issues surrounding child custody and child support. It can be difficult to navigate the New York state legal system, especially when it comes to proving to the court that you’re a fit parent and that it would be in your child’s best interests to be in your care.

Here’s what you can expect during the child custody evaluation process and how to get qualified legal help when dissolving your marriage.

Child Custody Evaluations in NY Explained

Any time two parents separate, important decisions need to be made about who will be primarily responsible for the child and where the child will primarily live. New York courts consider the best interests of the child above all, so before awarding custody to one parent or the other, a judge will order a custody evaluation to assess which parent is the best fit for the child’s specific needs.

An evaluator then visits the parents’ homes and checks for specific things like:

#1. Your Physical & Mental Health

The court will want to make sure that you are physically and mentally capable of providing care to your child while they’re with you. They may ask several questions about your health history, your mental state, and any conditions that you were diagnosed with by a physician and the medications you may have been prescribed to treat those conditions.

The court will also assess if you have a history of violence of any kind, especially against vulnerable individuals like the elderly, animals, and children.

#2. The Location of Your Home

Where your home is located in relation to your child’s school and extracurricular activities is also a major consideration for where your child will stay during the school year. If you live far away from your child’s school and other events, courts may consider an alternative custody arrangement where your child stays with you primarily throughout the summer and with his or her mother during the school year. They stay with the parent located closest to their school so they can easily commute back and forth.

The court will also take note of the neighborhood that you live in and how safe the area is for children. You’ll need to have a reasonably clean home and show that you have enough space for your child to have an area of their own.

#3. How Much You Earn

The judge will also want to make sure that you are earning enough money to be able to provide for your child while they’re in your home. This is generally calculated after your familial financial responsibilities like alimony and child support.

If a judge determines that you don’t currently earn enough to provide stable housing for you to be considered for full custody, you may still be able to petition for joint custody and/or frequent visitation. The state of New York understands how important it is for children to maintain strong family bonds and generally only deny custody or visitation in situations where it would be harmful to the child.

#4. Your Work Schedule

How often you work, for what hours, and for how long are all things that will play a significant role in how child custody is determined. You will need to be able to show that you primarily work while your child is not at home and that you have the ability, as needed, to take time off for doctor’s appointments, extracurriculars, and just to spend quality time with your child.

If you are extremely busy with work or travel a lot, this could potentially have an impact on how a judge decides to allocate child custody and visitation time.

When To Contact an Experienced Long Island, NY Divorce Lawyer

If you are a divorcing father, don’t wait to get experienced legal help from a qualified Long Island NY, family lawyer. An attorney with vast experience in this area of the law can help you better prepare for the custody evaluation process and make any arguments against decisions that afford you less contact with your child.

At Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C., we have the skills and experience to provide you with comprehensive child custody and divorce representation. Contact us today for more information about what you can expect during a child custody evaluation or to schedule your free initial consultation to discuss your case. Call now at 631-923-1910 or complete our short online contact form and our legal team will be happy to get back to you as quickly as possible.

It’s always tough on kids when their parents separate, even if it ends up being for the best for everyone involved. If you and your spouse have legally separated, you’re not alone. While divorce is final, legal separation gives your family the chance to reconcile. It also keeps you married on paper, so you can continue to access certain important benefits. Sometimes, this is the best option not only for you and your spouse, but also for your children. But how does it impact them and how can you mitigate any ill effects?

How Legal Separation Works When You’re a Parent on Long Island, NY

The process of legally separating is similar to getting a divorce. You will still have to reach an agreement with your spouse on things like who gets child custody or how property is divided. Once your separation agreement has been signed by a judge, it becomes legally enforceable. You may be penalized if you fail to meet the court-ordered obligations of your separation agreement, even though you’re technically not divorced.

Some parents opt to mediate their separation. If you do, you’ll meet with a professional who will help you negotiate with your spouse. You’ll go over each aspect of your marriage, from custody to property division, and make decisions about each one. Mediation can help make separating much easier on you and your family by offering a buffer through which you and your spouse can reach a compromise.

What If We Reconcile?

Legal separation gives you the option to reconcile after a period of time, whereas a traditional divorce doesn’t. You can reconcile with your spouse but the terms of your original agreement will remain in effect until they’re updated in court.

This could spell trouble for you and your kids if your spouse later changes his or her mind and decides to take you to court for violating the agreement. New York courts won’t honor verbal or implied agreements, even when you and your spouse are back together. So if you do reconcile with your spouse, make sure you have a new agreement in place before doing anything differently with your children.

What If We Can’t Agree?

If you can’t reach an agreement on new terms while reconciling, consider whether or not it truly is the right move. Parents need to be on the same page as one another and staying married to someone with whom you can’t make parenting decisions can be extraordinarily challenging. You may also want to consider mediating your reconciliation. Even if you and your spouse intend to get back together, a mediator can help facilitate effective communication.

How To Protect Your Kids When Separating

You need to take steps to protect your children during your legal separation. First, establish clear rules and consistent routines. Your kids need to know what to expect when everything feels unsteady. Try to give them stability by agreeing with your spouse on the rules for each home.

You should also maintain communication with your spouse, even if you’re not getting along. Your kids need you to be civil and focused primarily on their needs and best interests. Try not to speak badly about your spouse in front of your children, even when you’re angry. This adds even more stress for your family.

You should also make sure you and your children have access to professional support. As your family dynamic changes, your family may need extra guidance or advice to navigate life. Consider working with a counselor or therapist who has specific experience working with children whose parents are separating. These professionals are equipped to provide you with tools and resources tailored for your individual situation.

Finally, make time for your kids. Put in the effort to spend quality time with them doing things they are interested in or like doing. Your children need reassurance that you’re still there for them even though their family might look a little different now.

Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. – Your Long Island, NY Separation and Divorce Resource

Don’t wait to get legal help if you’re separating from your spouse. If you have children, qualified representation is even more crucial. Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. can provide you with comprehensive advocacy you can rely on. When your family faces big changes, you need someone on your side who can advocate for the best possible outcome.

Contact our office today for help by dialing 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form on this page to book your free initial consultation with our experienced Long Island divorce lawyers.

Having joint child custody after a New York divorce can be a difficult situation for everyone to involved. Of course it’s a new and difficult situation and it takes everyone time to get used to, but, if after an appropriate period, things just are not working out you may see to make a change to your agreement. You are likely unsure of what to do next or even what options are available to you. Here’s what to know and how to get the support you need when you incur more problems with joint custody than it was intended to solve.

Look for the Key Joint Custody Issue

If you don’t seem to be getting around the initial learning curve with your child’s joint custody arrangements, the first step is to figure out the key issue. There may even be multiple issues that are causing unreasonable strain on your family. For example, if you’re constantly having problems with getting your child to and from your ex’s house on time, this could indicate a location or transportation issue.

Or, perhaps the problem is you suspect your ex has become involved with drug use after the divorce and you’re concerned your child may be in danger when in your ex’s custody. Write down a list of deal breakers, as well as things you just think could be improved, so you can start looking for possible solutions and putting together the resources you need to pursue them.

If Logistics Are the Problem with Your Joint Custody

If the problem is mainly a logistical one, such as difficulty in transporting children between homes or too much travel time for the kids, reducing the distance between your home and your ex’s may be a solution. You or your ex might consider moving to be closer to the other parent, or you may agree to meet halfway for pickups and drop-offs depending on what works best for your job, family obligations, and finances.

If Your Ex Is Unfit to Parent Your Child

Is your ex incapable of adequately parenting your child or children. Should they have shared custody to begin with. It may be necessary to make alternative custody arrangements if your ex has a limited ability to provide adequate care for the children, has poor mental health stability and emotional maturity, or a history of domestic violence, neglect, or other criminal activity.

In this case, the first step is to begin documenting your ex’s behaviors and gathering evidence to build your case. Make sure your notes are detailed and include dates, times, places, and specific information about what happened. This will be important evidence for any future discussions or court proceedings regarding the modification of custody arrangements.

It can also be helpful to talk to others who could have witnessed concerning behavior from your spouse, particularly while caring for your child. This could include family members, friends, neighbors, teachers or coaches who interact with your child regularly and may have noticed patterns of neglect or abuse.

Get the Emotional & Legal Support You Need

During the process of establishing or modifying joint child custody agreements, it can be beneficial to seek out professional support from a counselor or therapist. A qualified practitioner can help you sort through difficult emotions and will provide you with stress management tools you can use to manage negative feelings that may arise.

You can also look for divorce and child custody support groups in the Long Island, NY area. These people have gone through similar experiences as yours with joint child custody agreements and can offer mutual support, camaraderie, and an outlet for venting frustrations.

Sometimes just talking about the situation with friends and family members can be therapeutic in itself. It’s a way of getting things off your chest without involving lawyers or counselors directly involved in the case. Just be sure the person offering a listening ear has the ability to make emotional space for you and is willing to do so.

Counseling and/or therapy can’t replace the legal support a qualified attorney is able to provide. At Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C., we can help you navigate issues regarding your joint custody agreement and find solutions that work best for your family. Contact our office today to schedule a free initial consultation and case evaluation with our experienced New York divorce attorneys by dialing 631-923-1910or by filling in the short form on this page.

Divorce is always difficult for all involved, but it can be hardest on the children who have no say in what is transpiring between their parents. While the divorce may be inevitable, parents can go the extra mile to work together to co-parent their children with time, effort, and dedication. Ideally, parents will put their children, and their needs, first and foremost.

Not all divorces go this way though, and many turn contentious. When this happens and children are involved, one parent may attempt to turn their children against the other parent. Regardless of whether or not the other parent is successfully ostracized, it can have devastating consequences on the child and the family. This phenomenon, known as “parental alienation”, can tear families apart and leave everyone involved feeling hurt and alone.

If you’re concerned that your family might be heading down this destructive path, it’s important to know how to stop parental alienation before it starts. Early intervention is key, so pay attention to signs that your child is being manipulated by one parent against the other. And if you’re already caught in the middle of an alienation dynamic, there are still things you can do to protect yourself and your relationship with your child. Here’s what to know.

The Problem with Parental Alienation

Parental alienation occurs when one parent attempts to undermine the relationship between the child and the other parent. This behavior can take many forms, from badmouthing the other parent, lying about them and their actions or motivations, to outright denying them access to the child.

The consequences of this type of behavior are severe. Children who are subjected to parental alienation manipulation can suffer from emotional distress, behavioral problems, and difficulties forming and maintaining relationships themselves as adults. In extreme cases, parental alienation can lead to estrangement, which means the child completely cuts off contact with the targeted parent.

Early Intervention Is Key to Stopping Parental Alienation

The earlier you can intervene in parental alienation, the better. By catching the behavior early, you may be able to prevent the alienation from becoming more severe and damaging.

Talk to your child about their relationship with the other parent. Ask them how they feel and encourage them to express any concerns they have. Although this may be difficult in a contentious contested divorce where you angry and fighting with your ex, it’s important to put the child’s needs ahead of your own and encourage a healthy relationship between your child and the other parent, regardless of how you feel about them. This includes making sure they’re spending time together, that you’re talking positively about the other parent, and constructively resolving conflicts.

What Happens If You’re Being Alienated?

If you think that you might be a victim of parental alienation, there are a few key signs to look out for. First, see if there is a sudden and unexplained change in your relationship with your child. If you used to have a close, loving relationship and now your child seems distant or even hostile, this could be a sign the other parent is succeeding at parental alienation of your relationship.

Other signs include:

• Your child repeating negative things about you that they couldn’t possibly know on their own
• Your child refusing to spend time with you or telling you that they don’t want to see you
• Your child bad mouthing you to other family members or friends
• Your child making false accusations against you

Strategies To Stop Parental Alienation

Parental alienation can be emotionally devastating to the one being alienated and the child. If possible, try to have an adult conversation with the other parent about what’s going on and how it’s negatively affecting your child and their future. It’s important to stay calm and avoid accusing them of anything. Instead, simply express your concerns and ask if there’s anything they can do to help improve the situation.

Counseling may help you deal with the pain and anger you’re feeling while also giving you practical tools for dealing with the situation. It may also help to talk to someone who’s been through something similar. There are many online forums and support groups for parents dealing with parental alienation. Talking to others who understand what you’re going through can help ease the feelings of isolation and loneliness that often come with this type of situation.

In some cases, legal action may be necessary. If there is evidence that the other parent is deliberately trying to turn your child against you, a restraining order may be appropriate. Or, you may benefit from filing for full custody.

Call an Experienced Long Island, NY Divorce Lawyer for Help with Parental Alienation Issues Today

It’s important to remember that parental alienation is a serious problem that can have lasting consequences for both children and parents. If you’re concerned about parental alienation, the best thing you can do is to seek help from a professional as soon as possible.

Contact Long Island divorce lawyers Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. for a free consultation to discuss your case and legal strategy by dialing 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form on this page.

If you’re considering divorce and have children, you may have heard the term “Bird’s Nest Custody” and wonder if it’s an option on Long Island, NY. Or, perhaps you’ve never heard of this type of child custody and are interested in learning how it works. Discover bird nesting, how to know if it’s right for your family, and how an experienced Long Island divorce attorney can help you understand your custody options, which one is right for your family and make sure your rights are protected.

What Is ‘Bird’s Nest Custody’ & How Does It Work?

Bird’s nest custody refers to a situation where, after the divorce, the children remain in the family home and the divorced parents take turns living there. This allows the children to have stability and continuity in their daily lives, while still having access to both parents.

There are a few different ways that bird’s nest custody can work in practice. In some cases, the parents alternate living in the family home every week. So, for example, Parent A would live in the home with the children from Monday to Friday, while Parent B would live elsewhere. Then, on Friday evening, Parent B would move into the family home and stay there until Monday morning when Parent A moves back in.

In other cases, one parent may live in the family home full-time while the other parent has an apartment nearby. The parent who is not living in the family home will typically visit on weekends and during weeknights.

The arrangement can also be made around the parents’ work schedules or social commitments. For example, if one parent works nights and weekends while the other has a more traditional 9-5 job, they may switch off living at home accordingly.

Benefits of Bird’s Nesting for Children & Parents

There are many potential benefits of bird’s nest custody arrangements. First and foremost, it offers children more consistency during a time of upheaval and change. It also makes it easier for the child to maintain a quality relationship with both parents post-divorce.

Another potential benefit is that it can make co-parenting easier as there is no need to coordinate pick-ups and drop-offs of children between households. This can be especially helpful if parents live far apart from each other or have difficulty communicating with each other.

It can also help save money, since only one household needs to be maintained for the children instead of two separate homes.

Does Long Island Allow Bird’s Nest Child Custody?

In New York, bird’s nest custody is not specifically recognized by state law, nor is it a prohibited arrangement. If this is something you’re interested in, you have the right to discuss these arrangements with your ex and pursue this type of custody. However, courts have the discretion to approve or deny such arrangements depending on whether or not they’re in the best interests of the children involved.

How to Decide If Bird Nesting Is Right for Your Family

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer to whether bird’s nest custody is right for you and your family. If you are considering this as an option for your divorce, there are a few things you should keep in mind. First, it’s critical to make sure that both you and your ex-spouse are on board. This type of custody arrangement can be emotionally challenging, and both parents must be committed to making it work.

Another issue that’s important to consider is whether or not your children are old enough to fully understand the boundaries in a bird’s nest arrangement. If your children are very young, they may find it confusing. Of course, very young children often find the whole concept and arrangements of divorce confusing. On the other hand, older children often find it easier to understand and may prefer this type of arrangement, since it allows them to have a stable home life even though their parents aren’t married.

Finally, you should also think about whether or not you and your ex can afford to maintain two households for your children. In a traditional child custody arrangement, each parent has their own home where the children alternate spending their time. Bird nesting allows parents to pay for only one family home, and the other can stay in a small apartment or with a roommate. This is often much cheaper than the alternative.

When You Need a Consultation with a Long Island, NY Divorce Lawyer

If you think bird’s nest custody might be right for you and your family, reach out to an experienced Long Island divorce attorney to help you understand the legal implications of this type of arrangement and navigate the complex logistics involved in making it work. Call Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. today for more information at 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form on this page.