As a Long Island Divorce Attorney, I help many couples in Suffolk County and Nassau County with their legal separation agreements. Many New York married couples that feel they are headed for divorce choose legal separation instead or as a first step. (more…)
As a Long Island divorce lawyer, I am seeing more and more clients over the age of 50 filing for divorce. (more…)
As a divorce attorney practicing on Long Island, I know that for many Suffolk County and Nassau County residents, a separation agreement governs their schedules, finances and relationships with their children. (more…)
As a Divorce Lawyer on Long Island, I counsel my married clients in Nassau County and Suffolk County that they are entitled to become legally separated if they do not wish to divorce. Many couples choose separation rather than divorce, and they have a variety of reasons for making this choice.
Bringing a Divorce Action in New York – Requirements for Residency
Many couples contemplating or facing divorce no longer live together. In many instances, spouses may live in two different states. Each state has specific requirements for length of residency before an individual can file for divorce in that state. Although New York now has “no-fault” divorce, which requires a breakdown in the marriage for a period of six months, the residency requirement must first be satisfied before a couple can get a divorce on Long Island.
What Constitutes Residency in Nassau County or Suffolk County?
Nassau County or Suffolk County Supreme Courts will hear a matrimonial proceeding so long as the parties have a sufficient connection to the State. Parties commonly establish a sufficient connection to the State by showing that they are residents. The “residency requirement” applies to proceedings for divorce, annulment, or judicial separation. Whether a person is a physical resident depends upon whether he has lived in the state for some length of time during the course of a year, resulting in a significant connection to the state.
Under New York law, residency can be established in one of five ways:
the marriage ceremony took place in New York and one or both parties have lived in New York for at least one year prior to filing.
the parties resided together in New York as husband and wife, and one or both parties have lived in New York for at least one year prior to filing.
the cause of action took place in New York, and one of the parties has lived in New York for at least one year prior to filing.
the cause of action took place in New York, and both parties live in New York at the time of filing.
either party has lived in New York for two or more years immediately prior to filing.
One of these requirements must be satisfied in order for the divorce proceeding to be heard in New York. Residing continuously in the state for the stated period of time does not mean that the party cannot have left the state at any point during that time, and does not mean that the party cannot also maintain a place of residence in another state. However, as stated above, physical residence may be demonstrated by a place of residence and physical presence in the state, and a significant connection to the state. The residency requirement is intended to prevent out-of-state parties from choosing New York as a forum because the laws may be more favorable to them here.
Suffolk County or Nassau County Supreme Court Handles All Divorce-Related Matters: Child Custody, Visitation, Child Support, Spousal Support, Etc.
The Suffolk County or Nassau County court that handles the divorce proceeding will also have jurisdiction over issues related to divorce, such as child custody, visitation, child support, and spousal support. It will also be the court in which any amendments or modifications are made. Therefore, it is important that divorce actions are commenced in the home state of the plaintiff so that parties will not have the stress and expense of traveling out-of-state for each hearing or conference.
File for Divorce on Long Island to Avoid Commuting Out of State
For this reason, if your spouse lives in another state, but you live in New York, it might be wise for you to file in New York before your spouse files in his or her state. As long as your spouse can prove residency in the state or country to which he or she moved, he or she can likely file for divorce there. If a divorce proceeding is commenced in another state, you may be required to participate in the proceeding there. However, related issues such as child custody and visitation may be addressed separately, depending upon where the children reside.
If you have questions about whether your Long Island divorce case meets the residency requirement for divorce in Suffolk County or Nassau County, NY, contact the compassionate and experienced Long Island divorce lawyers at the Office of Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. at 631-923-1910for a free confidential consultation.
For more information about Divorce on Long Island, visit this page: Divorce Lawyers Answer Questions about Long Island Divorce
Our 41-page “Guide to New York Divorce: What You Need to Know Before Hiring a Divorce Lawyer in New York” written by an experienced family law lawyer Long Island’s Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., provides you with real information on the divorce process and the laws it rests upon in the state of New York. This book will help give you a solid foundation upon which you can begin the process of making your family’s, life better. Download your Free Guide to New York Divorce here.
Get Answers to Your Divorce Questions:
We all turn to family and friends when going through difficult times in our lives, but as a Long Island divorce lawyer, I have seen that some of the best of intentions can go horribly wrong during your divorce.
We’ve all grown up hearing that family and friends are the ones who are there through thick and thin. These well-intended love ones will want to be, and usually are, a shoulder for you to cry on. During an extremely stressful time such as a divorce, they may even offer what they think is the best advice on a variety of topics ranging from where to get a cheap divorce, divorce attorney reviews, child custody, father’s rights, and even (what they believe to be) their own free legal advice.
At first you may find this comforting that they are sharing in your pain with you. However there will come a time, likely sooner rather than later, where you need to be alone with your own thoughts, feelings, and understanding of the situation to figure out the proper next step for you and your spouse. No two relationships are the same and so too, no two divorces should be the same. Letting another couple’s divorce experience color yours is not fair to you, your spouse or your children and will likely complicate matters and add to your family’s stress level.
What Do You Say To Well-Meaning Friends & Family?
How do you tell these loved ones that while you appreciate their help, you would rather discuss the upcoming PTA meeting or monthly Sunday brunch than your impending divorce?
1. Tell them the conflicting opinions are confusing you: The last thing your loves ones want to do is be the cause of your stress and emotional discomfort. While one friend might be in your left ear telling you to keep things amicable and give your spouse half of everything, another might be in your right ear telling you that your spouse does not deserve even a penny. Both are trying to help, but the two extremely different opinions can cause your mind to race at a time when your thoughts are already all over the map. Just tell them this is a decision you need to make for yourself, in consultation with your divorce attorney. If they truly have your best interests at heart, they will understand.
2. Make sure they know there are two sides to every story: No one likes to take fault in a divorce, and naturally your friends and family are going to see your spouse as the wrongdoer regardless of the facts of the situation. This may bother you or not, depending upon your unique situation. If it does, there is nothing wrong with telling your family and friends that while you are upset over the divorce, you do not hate your spouse. They may not understand this sentiment, but it is also hard for people to understand something with which they were not personally involved. The spouse bashing may lead you to feel animosity toward your friends or family, and these can have long-lasting implications for your future relationship. It’s difficult to forget what someone says about someone you once loved. So, for the sake of your relationships with your friends and family, try not to let it get to that point.
3. Remind them that all marriages, and therefore all divorces, are different and unique: You may be offered advice based on their experience, or even the experience of your friend’s cousin’s neighbor. However your relationship, and therefore your divorce, is not the same as the forty-eight year old mother of three in Westchester or the twenty-two year old who married her high school sweetheart on the day they graduated college. Your marriage is your marriage, and your divorce is your divorce. What worked for those they have heard stories about may not necessarily work for you and your spouse.
4. This is not an episode of Law and Order: The most damning thing your friends and family may do is provide you with what they believe to be legal advice. You may have that one friend who spends every Sunday on the couch watching Law and Order reruns and now thinks they know every law in New York State. Remind them that while you appreciate their desire to help and offer you guidance, you are going to listen to the legal advice of your divorce attorney. If you wish to soften the blow, simply tell them how complex divorce litigation can be, and that with all the intricacies of New York divorce law you would rather just get all the information from one source than piecemeal from two or three.
5. Suggest other things to do: Your friends may hear divorce and automatically go into safe mode. If you are a woman, they may assume you want to stay home and lay in bed, if you are a man, they may assume you want late nights filled with drinking and clubs. If that is not the case, make sure to tell them. Many people do not know the best way to act when a loved one is going through something they themselves have never experienced. The best way for them to know how to make you feel better is by telling them or showing them. They will likely follow your emotional lead, and if they see the things you are doing to make yourself feel better they are likely to plan similar activities.
An important thing to remember is that your friends and family are trying to help. As difficult as this is for you, your friends and family feel for you and are trying to help, but may not always know the best way to do that. It’s awkward for them, so do not be too hard on them, but remember that you have to protect yourself and your children first and foremost. You’ll want to preserve and protect these relationships because at the end of your Long Island divorce, they will be the ones who are there for you.
The experienced and compassionate Long Island divorce lawyers at Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., PC can help you sort out the conflicting advice you may be receiving and chart a course for your divorce that works for you and your family. Contact us today at 631-923-1910 or fill out the short form on this page for a complimentary divorce consultation.
For more information about Divorce on Long Island, visit this page: Divorce Lawyers Answer Questions about Long Island Divorce
Can I Change the Locks During My Long Island Divorce to Keep My Spouse Out?During your Long Island divorce, a main area of concern for you and your spouse is likely the question of who gets to remain in the marital residence. The two of you may have purchased this home at the beginning of your marriage and resided there for years, or it may be a relatively new home you moved into after you had your children.
Whatever the case may be, you both feel a connection to the residence and neither is willing to voluntarily say it is no longer their home. Many clients who find themselves in situations such as this ask me if they may change the locks on the residence when their spouse is at work or otherwise out. In short, the answer is no, absent a few rare situations which are discussed below.
The fact that I am telling you to refrain from changing your locks may seem odd to you as a homeowner. However, you are free to change the locks on the residence just as you always were. The catching point is that during a divorce most people’s intent behind doing so is to keep his or her spouse out, and that is what is not permitted. If you do decide to change the locks, you must give your spouse the new keys, therefore giving him or her access to the residence just as before.
While your divorce is pending, there are a limited number of circumstances in which one spouse is granted use of the marital residence to the exclusion of the other spouse.
The bottom line: do not resort to self-help. While locking your spouse out may seem like an attractive option, it will only work against you in court, as it may be seen as abandonment by lock-out, which then may provide your spouse with a counter-claim or additional grounds for divorce. Until a court rules otherwise or your spouse abandons you, both parties are entitled the same access to the marital residence as before. As always, be sure to speak to your divorce attorney about the specifics of your case.
The compassionate and experienced divorce attorneys at Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. have years of experience helping couples resolve their marital residence issues. If you have questions, give us a call Contact us today at 631-923-1910 to schedule your free, no-obligation consultation with an experienced Long Island divorce attorney.
For more information about Property Division in your divorce, visit our Complete Guide to Dividing Property in Divorce.
When a marriage breaks down, often a Long Island couple will try to “stay together for the children” rather than recognize that this can sometimes do more harm to the child than seeking the services of a divorce lawyer to end the destructive pattern of the marriage.
Many people dream that their children will grow up with a white picket fence, two parents who love them and each other, a loving pet, siblings, and a tire swing. But at times, that scenario is simply that, a dream that a couple just cannot seem to achieve in real life.
As you read this, you may feel that hint of familiarity in thinking you were on the path to realizing the dream, but just cannot find your way back to it. You are not alone. Hundreds of couples begin families with rose-colored glasses, only to find that the stresses of bills, mortgage payments, a random flat tire, and even the traumas of raising children can all put stress on a marriage. Often, these stresses reveal real problems in the relationship that cannot be repaired. When this happens, couples have two options: stay together “for the sake of the children” or get a divorce.
Should We Stay Together for the Children?
While each marriage, and therefore each divorce, is unique, it is important to discuss all your options, including any possibility for reconciliation, with your Long Island divorce attorney. However, if you and your partner are already seeking the assistance of an attorney, one or both of you may recognize you are already past the point of reconciliation. One of you may have suggested the option of staying together for the children, but you now wonder if that is such a good idea.
When couples who no longer get along, love each other, or find each other attractive stay together, they usually explain it by saying it will benefit their children. The following are a few points both you and your spouse should be aware of before deciding to “stay together for the children.”
How many times have we all heard our Long Island friends or family members say that their marriage just is not working anymore, but that they want to stay together for the kids rather than seek the counsel of a divorce attorney? You may even be saying it to yourself right now. In theory, an attempt to save a marriage for the sake of the children seems like a valiant and great idea, however, in reality doing so can cause more harm than good to the children.
The experienced and compassionate divorce attorneys at Robert E. Hornberger, Esq. P.C. have helped hundreds of Long Island couples resolved their divorce and legal separation issues amicably and affordably. Contact us today at 631-923-1910 to schedule your free, no-obligation consultation with an experienced Long Island divorce attorney.
As a Divorce Lawyer on Long Island, one of the questions I hear when marriages are called off, or even result in divorce is, “Do I get to keep my engagement ring?” or “Can I get the engagement ring back?”
In most relationships, one partner spends a significant amount of money on an engagement ring on behalf of the other partner. A lot of “advice” on this topic suggests the proposer should spend two months’ salary on the engagement ring. Naturally, one would assume that the partner who purchased the ring was entitled to keep it or get it back if the engagement is called off, but that’s not always the case. Who gets to keep the ring is solely centered upon whether that ring was a straightforward gift from one partner to the other, or if the ring was solely a gift in contemplation of marriage. In any case, once the marriage occurs, the engagement ring is usually considered to be the property of the recipient, unless the couple comes to some other agreement.
What is a Gift in Nassau County or Suffolk County Courts?
When you think of the word “gift” your mind likely jumps to special days like birthdays, anniversaries, etc. or holidays like Christmas, Hanukkah, Valentine’s Day, etc. due to the giving and/or receiving of beautifully wrapped presents. However, clothes or jewelry do not require wrapping paper to be considered a gift. So long as the giver has the intent to give a gift, the same is delivered to the recipient, and the recipient accepts it, a gift has been made. Upon the satisfaction of the above three requirements, the gift becomes irrevocable.
So, Does the Recipient Always Get to Keep the Engagement Ring?
If the parties never marry, the answer in Suffolk County and Nassau County courts on Long Island is an emphatic “no”. Most states, including New York, require the recipient to return the engagement ring to the giver because the ring is classified as a conditional gift. The condition placed upon the gift, naturally, is the marriage of the parties. If the condition is not satisfied and the marriage is called off, the engagement ring must be returned to the giver, regardless of whose fault the broken engagement is.
The recent Nassau County case of Torres v. Lopez demonstrates this point
The Defendant testified as follows: Although there was no marriage proposal, the Plaintiff had given the Defendant a diamond ring in April of 2010, after at least six years of dating and referring to each other as “spouses”. The Plaintiff’s reasons for purchasing this ring were to show his appreciation to the Defendant for being a good mother. However, the Defendant contributed $4,500 of her own funds toward the purchase of such. Additionally, when asked by friends and family if the ring was an engagement ring, the Defendant always stated that she was not sure yet because the Plaintiff had never asked her to marry him. Sometime in October of 2011 the Plaintiff and Defendant parted ways, and the Defendant eventually moved out of the parties’ shared apartment.
The Plaintiff’s testimony: The Plaintiff testified that the ring was an engagement ring, and therefore he was entitled to its return. According to the Plaintiff, the Defendant did not contribute funds to its purchase price, the two referred to each other as “fiancée”, the Defendant’s family had already begun planning an engagement party for the couple, and the couple had looked at wedding venues. However, upon the relationship’s demise, the Defendant refused to give the Plaintiff the ring back.
Weighing the testimony of both parties against the other, the Court found the Defendant’s testimony to be more credible. While the factual issues presented were close, the Plaintiff had the burden to establish by a preponderance of the evidence that the ring was given to the Defendant in contemplation of marriage. Because he called no other witnesses, submitted no bank records, no receipts stating that the ring was an engagement ring, or anything else evidencing the fact this was not an unconditional gift, the Court held that Plaintiff was entitled to keep the ring.
What Does This Mean For Me?
Therefore, while it seems the outcome of these situations may be highly fact-specific, it is important to note that if it is not clear whether or not the ring was an “engagement ring” given upon the condition that the parties would marry, the recipient may be entitled to retain its possession. If you are thinking of a marriage proposal, you may even wish to ensure the invoice or receipt states that the ring is in fact an engagement ring. As always, it is important to discuss the specifics of your case with your Long Island Divorce Attorney.
The experienced and compassionate divorce attorneys at Robert E. Hornberger, Esq. P.C. have helped hundreds of Long Island couples resolved their divorce and legal separation issues amicably and affordably. Contact us today at 631-923-1910 to schedule your free, no-obligation consultation with an experienced Long Island divorce attorney.