5 Ways to Save Your Marriage Before You Consider Divorce

5 Ways to Save Your Marriage Before You Consider Divorce

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5 Ways to Save Your Marriage Before You Consider Divorce

Most people are surprised when they hear a divorce lawyer say this: not every struggling marriage needs to end in divorce.

I’ve represented clients throughout Nassau and Suffolk counties for many years, and I can tell you something with certainty: many marriages that end in divorce could have been saved — if the right steps were taken early enough.

Divorce can be necessary in some situations, absolutely.

But before you take that step, there are five things worth trying first.

Many couples underestimate how taking targeted steps early can reverse patterns that lead to separation.

As an experienced Long Island divorce lawyer, this post will present you with five practical, lawyer-informed strategies you can use to repair communication, rebuild trust, set clear boundaries, and protect your legal position before you consider divorce.

Key Takeaways from This Article

  • Seek couples therapy early. A licensed therapist can identify destructive patterns and teach communication tools that can save a marriage.
  • Open, structured communication, including schedule talks, using “I” statements, and setting rules prevent blame cycles.
  • Rebuild intimacy through consistent small actions: regular date time, physical affection, and shared responsibilities.
  • Set realistic, measurable goals for change and review progress regularly; prioritize actions over promises.
  • Address finances transparently. Disclose assets and debts, create a joint budget, and agree on short-term financial rules.
  • Consult a divorce lawyer for information, not as a threat. Learn your legal rights, financial consequences, and options like separation agreements.
  • Consider a planned trial separation with clear boundaries and timelines to gain perspective without rushing a decision.

Understanding the Landscape of Marriage

Common Challenges Couples Face

Many couples deal with recurring issues like communication breakdown, finances, infidelity, differing parenting styles and work-life imbalance. By far, most couples cite communication problems are cited as the reason for separation or divorce. For example, I can’t count the number of Long Island couples whose arguments centered on mounting credit-card debt and inconsistent parenting. Some of these actually avoided divorce after a structured budgeting plan and joint parenting calendar reduced daily friction and rebuilt trust over several months.

The Importance of Timing in Addressing Marital Issues

You can benefit from acting early. Take action to save your marriage before resentment hardens or legal papers are filed. Options like mediation, collaborative divorce and temporary agreements are far more effective when both partners engage voluntarily. Empirical estimates often show mediation success rates of 60-80% when pursued prior to litigation, and early intervention usually cuts legal costs and emotional fallout.

When you delay, discovery, temporary court orders and formal filings can lock in positions and escalate costs. Once papers are filed, opposing attorneys often take adversarial stances, evidence collection begins and settlement leverage shifts.

On Long Island, couples who negotiate a short-term parenting and financial plan before filing for divorce frequently preserve more assets and maintain better communication channels, making eventual counseling or collaborative settlement more productive.

Emotional and Financial Implications of Divorce

Couples who divorce face both psychological strain and tangible financial loss that they may not consider ahead of time. Anxiety, grief and disrupted routines for children often accompany divorce, while legal fees and asset division reduce household wealth. Contested divorce cases commonly incur legal costs in the thousands; often exceeding $10,000 per spouse, and can erode retirement savings, increase housing expenses and alter tax liabilities, so early resolution preserves both emotional and financial capital.
For these reasons, you owe it to yourself and your family to do whatever you can to save your marriage before you take the final step of initiating divorce.

Beyond immediate costs, you need to plan for the long-term impacts of divorce. Dividing retirement accounts, valuing businesses, and determining alimony or child support can change your standard of living for years.

Practical steps include consulting a financial planner, using a forensic accountant if income is unclear, and documenting agreements in writing. A coordinated approach with legal counsel and a mediator often limits debt accumulation and speeds emotional recovery for you and any children involved.

Identifying the Signs Your Marriage Needs Help

sad couple with heads in hands realizing marriage is in trouble

You’ll notice patterns that your marriage needs help more than a single incidents. Repeated arguments about the same issues, emotional withdrawal, secrecy, or caregiving breakdowns that last months. If you’re going three months without a meaningful conversation, sleeping apart more nights than together, or one of you has started discussing separation with friends or a lawyer, those are concrete red flags I see that often precede formal separation in Long Island divorce cases.

Communication Breakdown

When you default to sarcasm, silence, or shouting, communication has broken down. If 70-80% of your interactions with your spouse feel negative or avoidant, you may need to address these before it’s too late. Examples of these kinds of breakdowns include using text messages for serious topics, one partner stonewalling for days, or arguments that recycle the same grievances weekly. You should track the frequency of these events. If you can’t have a calm 10 minute talk about a household issue within two weeks, communication needs structured intervention like couples therapy or a mediated conversation plan.

Lack of Intimacy

Your intimacy patterns matter: sex less than once every few weeks, no daily physical touch, and absence of emotional sharing are clear signs there is a significant issue. After events like childbirth, job changes, or illness, intimacy often drops, but if you’re going months without meaningful closeness or you avoid being vulnerable, that decline is a measurable problem that often shows up in my Long Island divorce caseload.

Intimacy loss often stems from identifiable causes you can address: medical issues (low libido, hormone changes), mental health (depression, anxiety), resentment from unresolved conflicts, or physical exhaustion from caregiving. Practical steps to address these can include a medical check for medications or hormonal imbalances, scheduling short weekly “connection” times, and pursuing sex or couples therapy. Many couples regain regular closeness within 8-12 weeks of focused, guided work.

Financial Disagreements

Money fights escalate faster than you expect when one partner hides accounts, accumulates debt, or refuses shared budgeting. Specific signs are secret credit cards, unilateral large purchases, or recurring arguments about bills multiple times per month. You should treat repeated, unresolved money disputes, especially when one partner controls all accounts, as a serious threat to marital stability. It’s time to consider financial counseling or a transparency agreement.

Address finances with concrete tools. Set a simple budget framework (for example, a 50/30/20 split), open one joint account for bills plus individual accounts for personal spending, and use tracking apps to log transactions weekly. If you discover undisclosed debts or accounts, document them and consult a certified financial planner or Long Island family law firm to protect both your relationship and your legal position while you work toward repair.

couple at kitchen table pouring over bills

Step-by-Step Approach to Improve Communication & Save Your Marriage

1. Schedule regular check-ins

Block a 15-minute daily check-in where you and your partner each get uninterrupted time to share one win and one concern; use a timer to keep it focused and predictable.

2. Agree on conversation rules

Set three clear rules-no interrupting, no name-calling, and a 48-hour cooling-off window before major decisions-to prevent escalation and protect safety.

3. Use structured turns

Adopt a 3-minute speaking turn for concerns and a 1-minute paraphrase by the listener; this enforces equal airtime and reduces “but you” rebuttals.

4. Practice reflective listening

After your partner speaks, paraphrase their main point in one sentence and ask one clarifying question before responding, which lowers defensiveness.

5. Create a resolution plan

End each check-in with one specific next step (who does what by when); if you hit a wall, agree to bring in a Long Island mediator or counselor within two weeks.

Establishing Ground Rules for Conversations

Set clear boundaries: no interrupting, no name-calling, phones off, and a predefined timeout signal that pauses escalation for 10 minutes. You also agree on timed speaking turns of perhaps 3-5 minutes each so you both get uninterrupted space. In my Long Island practice, couples who codified these rules in writing reduced repeat fights and stayed focused on solutions during weekly check-ins.

Techniques for Effective Listening

Practice reflective listening. Stop planning your rebuttal, paraphrase what you heard in 20-30 seconds, ask one open-ended clarifying question, and keep neutral body language. You avoid quick fixes and instead aim to understand intent, which lowers defensiveness and shortens recurring arguments.

You can use a five-step listening routine:

(1) pause and face each other

(2) breathe to steady tone

(3) paraphrase the content’

(4) validate the feeling even if you disagree

(5) ask one clarifying question.

Try a 30-day micro-practice-5 minutes daily-where you alternate roles so listening becomes habitual.

The Importance of “I Feel” Statements

In your discussions, frame concerns using the structure: “I feel [emotion] when you [behavior] because [reason].” This shifts focus from blame to experience and makes requests concrete. “I feel anxious when plans change at the last minute because I rely on predictability. Can we confirm plans 24 hours ahead?” This reduces defensiveness and invites problem-solving.

You refine statements by naming specific emotions (anxious, hurt, relieved) and tying them to observable behavior and a clear request. Practice converts vague complaints into three actionable lines per week: emotion, behavior example, and one small ask. This steadies conversations and speeds resolution.

Rebuilding Emotional Connection: Tips and Techniques

Rebuilding emotional connection relies on repeatable, measurable actions:

• Schedule biweekly date nights for 2-3 hours

• Practice 10-minute daily check-ins with reflective listening

• Choose one shared hobby and set monthly goals

In my Long Island practice, couples who adopted two of these steps for eight weeks reported fewer arguments and clearer priorities. You and your partner should track small wins to rebuild trust and momentum.

Schedule Regular Date Nights

date night schedule

Block out two hours every other week and alternate planning so both partners feel invested. Try a $30 cooking-night rotation or a 90-minute walk plus coffee. In my experience, Long Island couples who kept a biweekly schedule for three months reported noticeably improved communication and a 30-50% drop in recurring disputes. Treat the time as non-negotiable and put it on a shared calendar.

Engage in Shared Activities

You can rebuild rapport by committing to one shared activity weekly. It could be gardening, tennis, volunteering, a book club, or whatever. Aim for eight consecutive weeks to form a habit and positive memories. Couples who score small, regular wins together report stronger teamwork and fewer emotional withdrawals.

In one Long Island case, a couple enrolled in a 12-week pottery class, met weekly, and reported better patience and a 40% reduction in reactive arguments; set measurable checkpoints (attendance, skill progress, post-activity reflections) and reviewed outcomes monthly to keep the momentum going.

Establish Boundaries with Technology

You should set clear tech rules: no phones at dinner, a 60-minute no-screen window before bed, and a device-free bedroom. You can use Do Not Disturb from 9 p.m. to 7 a.m. to protect uninterrupted time. Implementing these limits quickly reduces passive disengagement and makes conversations more present and focused.

Practical steps include a central charging station, weekly audits of screen time, and mutually agreed upon consequences for breaches. In practice, couples who enforce night-time device rules report better sleep, more morning conversations, and fewer resentments tied to distracted behavior.

Financial Transparency: The Foundation of Trust

To minimize financial arguments, full disclosure of income, debts, credit scores and monthly obligations can ensure decisions are based on facts, not assumptions. On Long Island cases I’ve handled, couples who listed all accounts and agreed on a 3 6 month emergency fund (often $3,000-$9,000 depending on expenses) reduced surprise bills and heated disputes. Start by sharing pay stubs, recent statements and a simple Net Worth snapshot to create a baseline you can both trust and act on. You’re going to have to share all this information if you proceed with a divorce, so why not share it now if it can save your marriage.

Types of Financial Issues That Arise

Common financial triggers include secret credit cards, mismatched spending priorities, unpaid taxes, uneven contribution to household costs, and inadequate emergency savings-each one damages trust quickly and feeds escalation if unchecked.

• Undisclosed credit card or personal loans

• Habitual overspending on entertainment or shopping

• Failure to save for emergencies or taxes

• Unequal contribution to mortgages, utilities, childcare

• Perceiving secret accounts or transfers as intentional betrayal

ISSUE EXAMPLE/IMPACT
Undisclosed Debt Example: $12,000 in credit charges unknown to partner causes late payments and credit hits
Overspending Example: $400+/month discretionary spending when budget allows $150
Tax Liabilities Example: Unpaid $3,500 state tax bill discovered after filing jointly
Unequal Contributions Example: One partner pays 90% of bills while the other covers none
No Emergency Fund Example: $0 savings leads to credit reliance for a $2,000 car repair
   

 

Steps to Create a Joint Budget

Begin by listing net income and fixed expenses, then set shared priorities: 30% housing, 10-15% debt repayment, 10-20% savings, and the remainder split for groceries, childcare and discretionary spending. Assign one account for bills and track them monthly with a simple spreadsheet or app so you both see changes in real time.

Next, you should reconcile variable costs by reviewing three months of statements and categorizing spend. Identify one-off items versus recurring drains. Agree on a buffer (at least $500) for unexpected expenses, set automated transfers for savings, and revisit the budget monthly for 15-30 minutes to adjust percentages when income or expenses change.

Pros and Cons of Financial Counseling

Financial counseling can provide neutral mediation, help you draft repayment plans, and teach money management skills. The downsides of course, include the cost, time commitment, and the chance the counselor’s style won’t fit both partners. You can opt for single sessions ($100-$250) for a plan or ongoing coaching if deeper behavior change is needed.

Pros and Cons

Neutral third‑party perspective Cost per session can be $100-$250
Concrete repayment and savings plans Requires time commitment (weekly/biweekly sessions)
Skill building (budgeting, communication) Potential mismatch with counselor approach
Reduces blame by focusing on systems May not address deep trust issues alone
Can improve credit management and reduce debt faster Progress depends on both partners’ follow‑through
Often results in a written, enforceable plan Some insurers or employers don’t cover fees

You’ll want to vet counselors for certifications (CFCC, AFC®), ask for case examples, and choose someone experienced with couples and divorce adjacent issues. In many Long Island cases, targeted counseling plus a 6 month follow up reduced joint debt by measurable amounts and kept couples aligned on priorities.

Exploring Marriage Counseling Options

couple taking notes at kitchen table with candles

Different Types of Counseling Available

You can pursue several evidence-based approaches to marriage counseling that can really help re-build the bonds of a broken marriage.
Some of these include:

  • Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) to rebuild attachment
  • The Gottman Method for communication skills
  • Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to change interaction patterns
  • Sex therapy for intimacy issues
  • Faith-based counseling if your values guide decisions.

Typical programs run weekly for 8-20 sessions and often include homework and communication exercises tailored to your situation.

  • Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) – attachment repair and emotional bonding.
  • Gottman Method – skills-building, conflict management, practical exercises.
  • Cognitive-Behavioral Couple Therapy – patterns, thoughts, and behavior change.
  • Sex and intimacy therapy – medical/psychosexual focus with a certified specialist.
  • Assume that some therapists specialize in infidelity, blended families, military deployment, or financial conflict and that specialization matters for outcomes.
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) Focus: attachment; Typical length: 10-20 sessions
Gottman Method Focus: communication & conflict; Typical length: 8-16 sessions
Cognitive-Behavioral Couple Therapy Focus: interaction patterns; Typical length: 8-20 sessions
Sex & Intimacy Therapy Focus: sexual function & desire; Typical length: 6-12 sessions
Family/Group or Faith-Based Focus: systemic or values-based issues; Typical length: variable, 6+ sessions

Benefits of Professional Guidance

Professional guidance gives you structured tools, neutral feedback, and measurable goals so you both make concrete progress. Studies indicate many couples report improved communication and reduced conflict within 3 months when attending weekly sessions, and therapists can shorten cycles of blame using proven interventions.

Therapists provide assessment (e.g., conflict patterns, attachment styles), practical tools like “time-out” rules and repair rituals, and accountability-so you don’t drift into repetitive fights. Nassau County and Suffolk County courts and mediators also view documented therapy efforts favorably, which can matter if separation becomes unavoidable.

How to Find a Suitable Counselor

You should check credentials (LMFT, LCSW, PsyD/PhD), verify state licensure in New York, ask about experience with Long Island couples and issues like infidelity or custody, and request a 15-30 minute phone consult to assess the therapist’s fit with you and your spouse. Typical Long Island rates range $100-$250 per session, with some therapists offering sliding scales or insurance billing.

Start by getting referrals from your divorce lawyer, primary care doctor, or trusted friends. Review therapists’ websites for training in EFT or the Gottman Method, read client reviews, ask direct questions about success metrics and typical session plans, confirm telehealth availability, and watch for red flags such as a therapist who pressures you to take sides or promises instant fixes.

The Role of Mediation in Conflict Resolution

You can use mediation to take control of outcomes while avoiding protracted court battles; trained mediators guide dialogue, help you and your spouse frame workable agreements, and often settle family matters in 1-4 sessions. On Long Island, mediation resolves settlement issues in roughly 70-80% of family disputes and can cut legal costs by 50% or more compared with full litigation, making it a practical step before filing for divorce when both parties are willing to compromise and negotiate.

Differences Between Mediation and Litigation

You retain decision-making power in mediation, crafting solutions that fit your family, whereas litigation hands final decisions to a judge after formal discovery and hearings. Mediation is private, faster (often weeks to months) and less costly while litigation can take 12-24 months or longer, follows strict rules of evidence, and creates a public record. Agreements reached in mediation become enforceable if entered as a stipulation or court order.

Pros and Cons of Mediation

You should weigh mediation’s benefits, like lower cost, confidentiality, and flexibility, against limitations like potential power imbalances and limited discovery. The table below breaks these down to help you decide if mediation fits your situation.

Pros and Cons of Mediation

Lower cost (often 50%+ less than full litigation) Not binding unless formalized in court
Faster resolution (typically weeks to a few months) May not reveal all financial information without full discovery
Confidential process, private discussions Power imbalances can skew outcomes if not managed
Flexible, creative solutions tailored to your family Not appropriate when there’s ongoing abuse or coercion
Preserves better co-parenting relationships in many cases Mediator cannot provide legal advice-need counsel for rights
High settlement rates in family law (about 70-80%) May require follow-up to convert agreement into enforceable order

You can improve mediation outcomes by involving attorneys for legal guidance, requesting limited discovery when needed, or using a co-mediation model to address power imbalances. Courts on Long Island often support mediated settlements but expect clear documentation to enter agreements as enforceable orders.

When to Consider Mediation

You should consider mediation when both of you can negotiate in good faith, there’s no history of domestic violence, and your issues are amenable to compromise. Common examples include dividing retirement accounts, setting parenting schedules, or agreeing on spousal support structures. Mediation is also appropriate if you want to minimize costs and preserve a cooperative parenting relationship.

You will get the most from mediation when you prepare financial disclosures in advance, set realistic priorities (e.g., child stability over perfect asset splits), and consider attending 1-3 sessions for parenting plans or several sessions for complex property division. If safety or severe imbalance exists, choose litigation or protected legal measures instead.

Techniques for De-escalating Arguments

To de-escalate arguments with your spouse, use clear, repeatable techniques, including soft start-ups, “I” statements, reflective listening, and agreed time-outs (try a 20-minute pause). Clinicians advise a 5-breath reset to de-escalate and a script such as “I need 20 minutes to calm down; can we pick this up at X?” to prevent shouting matches from spiraling.

Practical steps you can try include a two-step pause: state the pause (“I need 20 minutes”), set a visible timer, and do a focused activity like 5 deep breaths, a 10-minute walk, or 5 minutes of journaling about your feelings. When you reconvene, limit the first exchange to 3 minutes each with reflective listening (repeat back 60 seconds). In many Long Island cases I’ve seen, couples who adopted a single scripted pause reduced heated exchanges from weekly to monthly within two months.

Repair Attempts During Conflicts

You should deploy repair attempts like brief apologies, offers to pause, light humor, or a gentle touch, to defuse rising tension. Gottman’s research highlights repair attempts as a key predictor of stability. Aim to make at least one repair effort in every escalating interaction to signal safety and a willingness to reconnect.
Examples you can use immediately: “I’m sorry-I didn’t mean to hurt you,” “Can we take a breather?” or “That came out wrong; let me try again.” Non-defensive apologies that name the action and offer a change work best. Physical gestures such as a hand on the arm or a short hug can lower cortisol and quickly reduce arousal, so agree with your partner on acceptable repair signals and track successful repairs per week to measure progress.

Setting Shared Goals and Values

You and your partner need a clear roadmap to steer decisions and reduce fights over daily choices. Many Long Island clients I’ve represented stabilized their marriages after committing to a simple 5-year plan covering finances, parenting, and career moves. Schedule a 30-minute weekly check-in, write goals on one shared document, and treat the plan as a living agreement you both update every 90 days.

Importance of a Shared Vision

You gain alignment when both of you agree on where the marriage is headed, whether that’s buying a home in 3-5 years, saving $18,000 for tuition, or agreeing on joint parenting approaches. Shared vision turns vague hopes into actionable priorities, reduces resentment over unilateral decisions, and gives you a concrete baseline if tensions escalate and you need to negotiate or seek legal counsel.

Aligning Values for a Stronger Bond

You strengthen the relationship when you surface and align core values. Pick your top three (e.g., security, family, independence), discuss where they overlap or conflict, and draft a few behavioral rules that honor both sets of values. That clarity prevents small value clashes from snowballing into major breaches of trust.
To operationalize alignment, conduct a values-ranking exercise: each of you lists 10 values, then reveal and explain the top three. Identify practical trade-offs. If one of you prioritizes saving and the other values growth through travel, create a 70/30 split of discretionary funds or a travel fund with defined limits. Put agreements in writing (even a single page) and revisit them during your 90-day check-ins so the values guide daily choices rather than becoming vague talking points.

Recognizing Situations Where Divorce May Be Necessary

couple filling out divorce papers

When patterns cross safety, stability or legal lines, you may have no choice but to consider divorce. Repeated physical or sexual violence, substance-driven chaos, or ongoing betrayal that destroys parenting and finances may mean your marriage is beyond repair. If you’ve documented 911 calls, medical reports, or repeated DUI arrests, those tangible records change negotiation leverage and custody considerations. As a Long Island divorce lawyer, I advise prioritizing your and your children’s immediate safety first. If daily life places you or your children at risk, legal separation can be the protective step marriage won’t provide.

Abuse and Unhealthy Dynamics

If you face physical, sexual, or coercive control, you must act to protect yourself and your children. The CDC estimates about 1 in 4 women and 1 in 9 men experience intimate partner violence, and courts take documented abuse (photos, police reports, medical records) very seriously in custody and support decisions. You should create an evidence file, contact local shelters or hotlines, and consult an attorney about protective orders. Ongoing emotional manipulation that isolates you from friends or finances also constitutes an unhealthy dynamic that may justify ending the marriage.

Impact of Substance Abuse

When substance abuse controls household routines and finances, it erodes trust and safety. Relapse rates for substance use disorders range roughly 40-60%, meaning temporary treatment success doesn’t guarantee stability. You should track missed work, legal incidents like DUIs, and unpaid bills to show how addiction affects your family’s welfare. Nassau and Suffolk courts may order evaluation or treatment, but if your partner refuses help and your children are endangered, pursuing divorce and supervised custody exchanges can be the only practical step to protect your family.

Beyond immediate risk, substance abuse creates measurable financial harm. Annual costs commonly include thousands in fines, legal fees, lost wages and rehab. One client I represented saw household debt double after three years of untreated alcoholism, forcing divorce to separate liabilities. You should obtain bank statements, police reports, and employer letters, and consider emergency custody if drugs are present in the home. Judges often weigh ongoing addiction heavily when allocating custody to prioritize children’s stability.

The Dangers of Chronic Infidelity

Repeated infidelity isn’t just a betrayal; it often signals patterns of deceit that undermine parenting, finances, and negotiations over assets. Research estimates 20-40% of marriages experience infidelity, and when it recurs, especially with hidden spending, secret accounts, or long-term outside relationships, it can justify divorce because trust repairs repeatedly fail. You should document communications, financial transfers, and any overlap with parenting duties to demonstrate the ongoing breach and its material impact on your household.

In practice, chronic infidelity frequently coincides with financial misconduct, including credit card charges, secret leases, or diverted joint funds, making forensic accounting valuable. One Long Island divorce revealed $25,000 diverted to a paramour over 18 months, which shifted settlement talks dramatically. You should preserve texts, bank records, and timestamps, and consult legal counsel about subpoenas or discovery to uncover hidden assets. Courts consider the extent of deception when dividing property and setting custody to protect children from continued instability.

The Benefits of Taking a Break Before Divorce

You can gain clarity, reduce escalation, and protect finances by taking a structured break from your spouse. A 30-90 day trial separation often reveals whether problems are situational or systemic, gives space for individual therapy, and allows you to negotiate temporary support, custody and living arrangements without filing papers immediately. This approach can lower conflict at mediation and preserve options if reconciliation proves possible.

Differentiating a Trial Separation from Divorce

A trial separation is a temporary, agreed period living apart with rules you set, while divorce is a legal termination requiring court filings. You should document intent, dates, financial arrangements and parenting plans in your legal separation agreement because courts and attorneys will treat separation behavior, like maintaining separate residences or commingling funds, very differently when later addressing assets or custody.

Pros and Cons of Taking Time Apart

A structured separation gives you breathing room to test changes, pursue therapy and negotiate terms, but it can also increase uncertainty, complicate finances and risk emotional distancing if not managed with clear agreements. The table below breaks specific advantages and drawbacks into practical items you can weigh.

Pros and Cons of Taking Time Apart

Pros Cons
Gives perspective without immediate legal finality Can create emotional distance that becomes permanent
Allows time for therapy (individual or couples) May complicate joint finances and credit
Reduces day-to-day conflict, improving parenting stability Unclear agreements can lead to custody disputes later
Provides a window to negotiate temporary support One partner may use separation to disengage from resolution
Preserves legal options while testing reconciliation Housing and moving costs can strain budgets
Creates documentation of intent and efforts to reconcile Third-party perceptions (family, courts) may shift negatively

 

From the Long Island divorce lawyer perspective, you can mitigate cons by putting agreements in writing. Specify dates, living arrangements, who pays which bills, temporary child schedules and therapy commitments. Aim for a 30-90 day initial term with a written review at 30 days so you and your spouse can assess progress and avoid indefinite limbo that often leads to resentment or unnecessary litigation.

You should draft a written separation agreement outlining duration (commonly 30-90 days), clear financial responsibilities, a detailed parenting schedule, communication rules, and therapy expectations. Include weekly or biweekly checkpoints and an agreed process if one partner wants to file for divorce during the separation.

In practice, include clauses specifying who keeps the residence, how mortgage or rent and utilities are paid, temporary child support amounts, a prohibition or limits on dating if you choose, and a dispute-resolution step (mediation) before filing. Consult an attorney to formalize enforceable terms and schedule a 30-day review to decide next steps based on documented progress.

Preparing for the Future: The Role of Self-Care

When you plan next steps, protecting your physical and mental health changes outcomes. I’ve seen Long Island clients who prioritized 7+ hours of sleep, 150 minutes of weekly exercise, and focused therapy make clearer choices in negotiations and parenting plans, reduce conflict, and preserve financial and emotional resources during separation.

Importance of Individual Well-Being

You need steady emotional regulation to negotiate, co-parent, or decide on divorce. The CDC’s 7+ hours sleep guideline and routine exercise (150 minutes/week) directly improve attention and impulse control, while the American Psychological Association reports therapy reduces symptoms that otherwise fuel reactive fights and poor decision-making.

Activities to Enhance Self-Care

You can adopt concrete habits: weekly therapy sessions or 8-12 focused sessions for measurable change, 30-minute daily walks, consistent sleep schedules, a simple budgeting plan, and 10 minutes of nightly mindfulness to lower stress before conversations with your spouse or attorney.

For example, start with one measurable change: schedule two therapy sessions this month, track sleep with a phone app, and commit to a 20-30 minute walk three times a week. Clients who combined one mental-health step and one physical routine reported fewer escalations in meetings and clearer priorities when discussing assets or custody.

How Self-Care Affects Relationship Dynamics

Your self-care shifts the emotional climate. Improved sleep and therapy reduce reactivity, better boundaries limit escalation, and steady routines model stability to your partner and children, often lowering the frequency and intensity of conflicts during separation or negotiations.

Mechanically, caring for yourself enhances executive control and empathy. When you reduce stress hormones and get consistent rest you judge less impulsively, communicate with more calm, and can set limits without escalation. In Long Island cases I’ve handled, parties who maintained self-care settled faster and with fewer contentious hearings.

The Impact of Parenting on Marital Wellness

When parenting disputes become nightly battles, your relationship erodes faster than you might expect. On Long Island family-law dockets, those conflicts often trigger separation discussions. Addressing specific flashpoints such as discipline, screen time, and extracurricular costs reduces resentment. For example, one client shifted from daily fights about bedtime to a shared weekly plan and saw arguments drop to monthly, preserving the partnership while stabilizing the household for the kids.

Co-Parenting Strategies

Use tools and boundaries to keep conflict out of parenting. A+dopt a shared calendar app (Google Calendar or OurFamilyWizard), schedule a 15-minute weekly check-in, and commit to written communication for plans and exchanges. Avoid using children as messengers and standardize phrases for transitions. This consistency cuts miscommunication and gives you clear records if disputes escalate.

From a legal and practical angle, draft a temporary parenting plan early and consider mediation or a parenting coordinator before court. Judges favor stability and documented cooperation. Bring school calendars, medical records, and communication logs to sessions so you can negotiate custody schedules grounded in facts rather than emotions.

Keeping Children’s Best Interests at Heart

Center decisions on routines, emotional safety, and predictability. Keep consistent bedtimes, split attendance at school events when possible, and shield children from conflict by using neutral handoffs. When you prioritize daily stability, you reduce anxiety and support academic and behavioral gains even amid marital strain.

For added support, engage school counselors or child therapists and create a simple crisis plan (who picks up, who notifies school) so children feel secure. Courts on Long Island often note parental cooperation and proactive child-focused steps, so documenting these efforts both protects your child and strengthens your position if legal action becomes necessary.

Honest Communication is the Key to Saving Your Marriage Before You Consider Divorce

Considering all points, you can still preserve your marriage by prioritizing honest communication, seeking professional counseling or mediation, setting clear boundaries, addressing financial and parenting issues together, and consulting an attorney only to understand options rather than escalate conflict; with focused effort and willingness from both partners, you may rebuild trust and avoid divorce.

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Horberger Verbitsky, P.C. partners Robert E. Hornberger, Esq. and Christine M. Verbitsky, Esq.
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About the Author

Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., Founding Partner, Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.

  • Over 20 years practicing matrimonial law
  • Over 1,000 cases successfully resolved
  • Founder and Partner of Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.
  • Experienced and compassionate Long Island Divorce Attorney, Family Law Attorney, and Divorce Mediator
  • Licensed to practice law in the State of New York
  • New York State Bar Association member
  • Nassau County Bar Association member
  • Suffolk County Bar Association member
  • “Super Lawyer” Metro Rising Star
  • Nominated Best of Long Island Divorce Attorney four consecutive years
  • Alternative Dispute Resolution Committee Contributor
  • Collaborative Law Association of New York – Former Director
  • Martindale Hubbell Distinguished Designation
  • America’s Most Honored Professionals – Top 5%
  • Lead Counsel Rated – Divorce Law
  • American Institute of Family Law Attorneys 10 Best
  • International Academy of Collaborative Professionals
  • Graduate of Hofstra University School of Law
  • Double Bachelor’s degrees in Philosophy, Politics & Law and History from SUNY Binghamton University
  • Full Robert E. Hornberger, Esq. Bio
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Frequently Asked Questions About 5 Steps to Save Your Marriage

Q: What are the five ways to save your marriage before considering divorce?

A: Communicate with intention, pursue couples therapy, address financial conflicts, rebuild trust and intimacy, and consult a lawyer for legal and practical planning. Communication means scheduled, non-defensive conversations with clear goals. Therapy provides neutral guidance and tools to break negative patterns. Financial transparency and a joint plan reduce recurring fights. Rebuilding trust requires consistent actions, accountability, and small shared experiences that restore closeness. A legal consultation clarifies rights and options so you can make informed decisions without rushing into divorce.

Q: How do we start a productive conversation about saving our marriage?

A: Choose a calm time, set a short agenda, use “I” statements, and agree to one topic at a time. Begin by setting a shared goal (for example, improving weekly connection for 30 days) and commit to 10 minutes of uninterrupted listening each. Avoid blame, ask clarifying questions, reflect what you heard, and end with a concrete next step and a time to check progress. If conversations escalate quickly, bring in a therapist or neutral mediator.

Q: When should we seek couples therapy and what can we expect?

A: Seek therapy as soon as patterns of avoidance, constant conflict, or emotional distance appear. Expect an intake assessment, identification of negative interaction cycles, and a plan with specific communication and homework exercises. Therapists use evidence-based methods (for example, EFT or the Gottman approach) to rebuild attachment and teach repair strategies. Regular sessions and practice between sessions produce measurable change; short-term intensives can help couples stuck in crisis.

Q: How can talking to a Long Island divorce lawyer help without accelerating divorce?

A: A lawyer can explain New York law, outline options (mediation, collaborative divorce, litigation), and advise on protecting assets and custody during a trial separation. That information reduces fear of the unknown, helps you negotiate from knowledge rather than emotion, and facilitates informed temporary agreements that support reconciliation. Good attorneys act as advisors, not promoters of divorce, and can draft short-term separation or financial agreements while you work on the marriage.

Q: What specific steps should we take to manage finances and reduce money-related conflict?

A: Start with full, honest disclosure of income, debts, and accounts. Create a prioritized budget together, agree on spending limits and approval rules for large purchases, and decide whether to keep joint or separate accounts temporarily. Consider a neutral financial coach to mediate and create a debt-reduction plan. Set automatic transfers for bills and savings to remove daily friction, and review the budget weekly for 30-90 days to build trust through transparency.

Q: How do we rebuild trust and physical/emotional intimacy after breaches or long-term distance?

A: Begin with clear accountability: acknowledge harm, offer specific reparative actions, and agree on measurable steps and timelines. Increase predictability through consistent communication and follow-through on promises. Schedule regular low-pressure connection activities (short daily check-ins, weekly dates) and practice vulnerability exercises from therapy. Physical intimacy returns more reliably when emotional safety is re-established through small, reliable behaviors over time.

Q: How should we involve our children while trying to save the marriage?

A: Protect children from adult conflicts and maintain routines and stability. Provide age-appropriate explanations focused on safety and love, avoid placing blame, and never use children as messengers or leverage. Coordinate parenting strategies and rules so children experience consistency. If the process causes visible stress for kids, consult a child therapist or family counselor to support them and guide parents on communicating changes in a healthy way.

Going through a divorce is never easy, but Hornberger Verbitsky made the process smooth, respectful, and solution-focused. I worked closely with attorney Anne Marie Lanni, who was outstanding in every way. She resolved conflicts with professionalism, communicated clearly and effectively, and authored an agreement that was thoughtful and fair. Her attention to detail and calm, competent approach gave me real peace of mind.

Lead attorney Rob was also fantastic—personable, friendly, and genuinely supportive throughout. He made a tough process feel manageable and always took time to check in and make sure I felt heard and supported.

The team’s commitment to a problem-solving approach, their impressive professional network, and even their supportive nature and community values really set them apart. I felt like more than just a case—I felt cared for and well-represented.

Highly recommend Hornberger Verbitsky if you want trusted guidance and a team that gets results with integrity and compassion.”

~ John Genova

RECOGNIZED FOR EXCELLENCE BY:

10 Best Family Law Attorney Award 2022 - American Institute of Family Law Attorneys
Avvo 10.0 Rating - Robert Eugene Hornberger Top Divorce Attorney
Super Lawyers Rising Stars - Robert E. Hornberger
5-Star Avvo Reviews – Robert Eugene Hornberger
Lead Counsel Verified Family Law Attorney Badge
Avvo Clients’ Choice Award 2020 – Robert Eugene Hornberger
Lead Counsel Rated Attorney – Verified Professional Distinction
Distinguished Peer Rating 2023 – High Professional Achievement


Google Reviews for Robert Hornberger, Divorce Attorney


Successful Divorce Strategies Free eBook



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Emotional & Mental Health Support During and After Divorce on Long Island, NY

Emotional & Mental Health Support During and After Divorce on Long Island, NY

Home » Divorce Lawyer Divorce Attorney, NY

Emotional & Mental Health Support During and After Divorce on Long Island, NY

When people think about divorce on Long Island, NY the first things that come to mind are often lawyers, paperwork, and court dates. But the truth is that divorce is never just a legal process. Divorce is also one of the most significant emotional and psychological transitions a person can face in their lifetime. Whether you’re contemplating legal separation, just beginning the divorce process, or already navigating its aftermath, the experience touches every part of your life: your identity, your relationships, your finances, and your sense of stability.

This article will provide you with the resources to identify emotional and mental health symptoms of emotional and mental health issues related to you divorce and provide you with concrete methods to combat these and the resources to get help when you need it.

Key Takeaways from This Article

  • Divorce affects more than just your legal status; it’s an emotional and psychological journey that requires as much care as the legal process itself.
  • Allow yourself the space to grieve and seek guidance from a Long Island therapist who understands divorce-related stress, trauma, and family transitions.
  • Lean on community and peer support through local divorce groups, online forums, and faith-based or nonprofit programs in Nassau and Suffolk counties.
  • Prioritize daily self-care. Consistent sleep, exercise, nutrition, and mindfulness routines can stabilize your mood and improve your decision-making.
  • Support your children’s mental health with counseling, co-parenting workshops, and predictable routines that foster security and resilience.
  • Use professional and crisis resources when needed. Long Island hotlines, national services (988), and community mental-health centers are available.
  • Build a reliable network of friends, family, faith leaders, and professionals who can provide both emotional reassurance and practical assistance.

On Long Island, NY, where families are deeply connected to their communities and routines, divorce can feel like an earthquake that shakes more than just your household. Most people experience some kind of grief, anxiety, or even physical symptoms of stress. Parents worry about how their children will cope with the divorce. Others struggle with loneliness, anger, or a loss of confidence. These challenges are normal, but they can become overwhelming without the right tools and support systems in place.

That’s why it’s so important to view divorce not only through a legal lens but also through the lens of emotional and mental health. Proactively addressing the psychological side of divorce can help you make clearer decisions, protect your children, and begin rebuilding a sense of stability for the future. In this article, we’ll explore practical ways to support your mental well-being by connecting you with therapists, support groups, community resources, and daily coping strategies available across Nassau and Suffolk Counties on Long Island, NY so that you can move forward in your post-divorce life with resilience and clarity.

Divorce Will Change Your Life, But Doesn’t Define Your Future

Divorce may change the shape of your daily life, but it doesn’t have to define your future. By recognizing that emotional health and legal strategy go hand in hand, you can approach this transition with greater clarity and resilience.

In the sections that follow, we’ll look more closely at how divorce impacts your mental health, the ways grief and anxiety can surface, and the specific resources available on Long Island, NY to help you cope. From counseling options and community support groups to daily coping practices and child-focused strategies, you’ll find concrete steps to manage the emotional toll of separation while building a foundation for long-term recovery and growth.

The Psychological Transformation After Divorce on Long Island, NY

Understand how separation reshapes your identity and daily life

Post-divorce, I often see my Long Island clients experience divorce stress from the emotional impact of divorce. These clients experience anxiety, sleep disruption, and decision-fatigue surface alongside identity shifts. Roughly 40-50% of U.S. marriages end in divorce, and many clients report depression symptoms that last for months after the divorce is final. The psychological effects of divorce can manifest in many ways, including hypervigilance around finances or parenting, cognitive fog during legal decisions, and fluctuating motivation-patterns.

The Role of Grief in Divorce: More Than the Loss of a Partner

Recognizing and processing losses tied to routines, community, and self

Grief after divorce often includes loss of shared plans, social networks, and a previous sense of self, not just your partner. You might grieve rituals, mutual friends, or housing stability. To help them cope with the loss of divorce, I guide clients to name specific losses, differentiate ambiguous losses from concrete ones, and connect them with Long Island grief groups and therapists who offer targeted processing and practical resources.

Spotting the Signals: Depression and Anxiety During Divorce on Long Island, NY

When stress turns into clinical concern and how to respond early

I watch clients on Long Island move from the initial shock of the dissolution of their marriage to persistent divorce depression signs, including low energy, appetite shifts, insomnia, and spiraling worry, that can signal real concern for their mental health. Research indicates divorced adults can be up to twice as likely to develop major depression or anxiety disorders after divorce, especially in the first year after separation. If your daily functioning, work, or parenting slips, I advise connecting with a clinician, support group, or your primary care physician for screening and early mental health help on Long Island, NY.

Noticeable changes you should look out for include persistent sadness for two weeks or more, loss of interest in activities you used to enjoy, withdrawal from friends, difficulty concentrating, and neglecting basic self-care. Suicidal thoughts or increased substance use require immediate attention. I recommend tracking mood daily and bringing specific examples, like missed workdays, appetite shifts and sleep pattern changes, to a therapist or your doctor. There are many clinics and crisis lines on Long Island that can provide rapid evaluation of your symptoms.

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Anxiety in Transition: Facing Financial and Custody Uncertainty in Divorce on Long Island, NY

Uncertainty about finances, custody, and housing commonly trigger hypervigilance about these matters, including racing thoughts, and panic symptoms that disrupt sleep and decision-making. I’ve seen that anxiety often peaks around court dates or financial deadlines. Grounding techniques, brief Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and structured checklists for decisions can help reduce divorce anxiety that can overwhelm you while navigating legal timelines and stress-inducing appointments.

Physically, many of my clients experience tension headaches, gastrointestinal upset, and muscle tightness. Panic attacks can mimic cardiac events, so I advise clients to get an immediate medical evaluation if they experience chest pains. Practical steps to reduce divorce anxiety can include scheduling short, timed decision sessions, using financial worksheets, and attending a skills-based support group.

Finding Professional Help on Long Island, NY

Counseling, therapy, and community programs available in Nassau and Suffolk counties

I often steer clients in need of divorce counseling on Long Island toward therapy resources in Nassau and Suffolk, including Family Service League, Northwell Health’s behavioral health programs, the Nassau County Department of Mental Health, and the Suffolk County Division of Community Mental Hygiene Services. Private clinicians on the Long Island commonly offer CBT, and Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, while dozens of weekly support groups and 12-week divorce mental health services run across community centers. You’ll find evening and teletherapy options plus many sliding-scale fees, which helps you maintain consistent care through legal timelines and custody exchanges.

Individual vs. Group Therapy in Nassau and Suffolk: Choosing What Works for You

Tailoring support to your needs, budget, and emotional goals

When clients need focused trauma work, individual therapy for divorce issues including EMDR or targeted CBT over 6-12 sessions often speeds symptom relief. Group divorce therapy on Long Island is typically 6-10 people in 90-minute weekly sessions for 8-12 weeks, provides peer feedback, practice with co-parenting skills, and lower cost per session. Complex attachment or trauma histories are likely best served by individual counseling, while group therapy can help if you need validation, social learning, and accountability during separation.

Specialized Support for Diverse Needs on Long Island, NY

Bilingual providers, trauma-informed care, faith-based groups, and more

There are a number of Long Island providers that provide niche support systems, including bilingual therapists (Spanish, Haitian Creole), faith-based DivorceCare groups, trauma-informed clinicians for domestic violence survivors, and court-recognized parenting education. You can access legal and therapy collaboration for child custody evaluations, clinics offering perinatal mental health, and veteran-focused counselors, each tailored to the caregiving, cultural, and litigation realities many clients face on Long Island, NY.

I frequently refer clients to specific programs: local churches and community centers host DivorceCare and 8-week co-parenting classes; Family Service League runs short-term counseling plus parenting workshops; private practitioners offer many trauma informed divorce therapy programs; and Northwell-affiliated clinics provide coordinated care with psychiatric consultation. Teletherapy expansion since 2020 means you can join specialized groups across Long Island without long commutes, improving continuity through court dates and moving transitions.

The Power of Community: Divorce Support Groups on Long Island, NY

Tailored Groups: Divorced Men, Women, and Parents Finding Solace

If you feel more comfortable in a more exclusive setting you can try tailored divorce support groups on Long Island that address gendered dynamics and parenting realities. There are men’s peer support groups for divorce that focus on anger management, dating and financial rebuilding, while women’s divorce support groups tackle safety, self-esteem and career reinvention. Divorce recovery classes and parenting groups often run 6-8 weeks with modules on co-parenting, school communication, and managing holiday transitions.

Building a Network: The Importance of Shared Divorce Experiences on Long Island

I’ve seen many of my clients blend clinician-led sessions with peer-run meetups and online forums to create a divorce recovery network that covers therapy, practical advice and day-to-day solidarity. There are many Long Island community centers that offer weekly or biweekly options and nonprofit listings can help you find groups by town or specialty.

Networking often produces concrete benefits. One client joined a local co-parenting group and learned about a shared scheduling parenting app that reduced court conflicts, another found a mediator through a Facebook peer group. I advise tracking 3-5 trusted contacts from each group (therapist, parent-peer, legal referral) so your support network has both emotional and practical resources.

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Daily Coping Mechanisms for Emotional Stability During Divorce on Long Island, NY

Routines and habits that strengthen resilience and restore balance

I recommend practical steps to help you cope with divorce stress. These daily routines after divorce can include keeping a consistent sleep routine (7-9 hours), 150 minutes of moderate exercise weekly, 5-10 minute grounding practices during spikes of anxiety, limiting alcohol and stimulants, and maintaining a mood-and-trigger log. Short-term CBT programs (8-12 weeks) or weekly DivorceCare meetings on Long Island pair well with these habits and help you spot patterns you can actively change.

Effective Strategies: Daily Coping Tactics for Emotional Resilience

Short, consistent habits build resilience: 10-minute morning journaling to set one achievable task, 20 to 30-minute brisk walks after meals, progressive muscle relaxation before bed, and box-breathing or the STOP technique when anxiety rises.

Beyond Survival: Rebuilding and Thriving After Divorce

Setting goals and rediscovering identity in the next chapter of life

Rebuilding your life after divorce means setting three 12-month goals: career, social, personal-and converting them into monthly actions. Enroll in workshops on Long Island or community college classes, volunteer to expand purpose and networks, and track milestones like completed courses or new social groups so you can see measurable growth beyond day-to-day coping. These steps can help your divorce recovery and enable you to thrive after separation.

One client moved from weekly therapy to leading a local peer group within a year after completing a bookkeeping certificate. She reported better sleep and reduced social anxiety. Pairing therapy with skill-building classes, networking events, and quarterly goal reviews turn strategies into concrete wins you can celebrate in your divorce recovery on Long Island, NY.

Supporting Children Through Divorce on Long Island

Practical strategies to reduce anxiety and maintain stability for kids

To help children cope with divorce, I recommend Long Island families focus on predictable routines, clear explanations, and safe outlets for their emotions. While parents are going through a divorce, children ages 3-12 often show regression or clinginess while teens may act out or withdraw. I encourage parents to coordinate with school counselors and arrange child counseling when signs persist beyond three months. Using concrete tools, including visual schedules, comfort objects, and consistent co-parenting rules help reduce anxiety and promote the child’s resilience.

Communication Techniques: Supporting Kids Emotionally During Divorce

To help your child cope with the divorce, parents should use short, age-appropriate phrases, avoid blame, and set a daily 10-15 minute check-ins so children can share their feelings without pressure. Offer concrete reassurances like, “You’ll see both of us on these days,” and model emotion naming, for example, “I’m sad today, but I can handle it.” In one case, a nine year old girl’s nightmares decreased after nightly 10-minute talks with their parent and a simple co-parent calendar for transitions.

Building Stability: Creating a Safe Space for Children

To help children deal with divorce, experts recommend maintaining core routines like mealtimes, school times, and bedtimes consistent within 30 minutes of their previous schedule and limiting major household changes for at least six months. They suggest maintaining the same pediatrician, school, and extracurriculars whenever possible. A shared co-parenting calendar can prevent conflicts and provide children with a predictable environment that supports their emotional recovery.

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Mindfulness and Self-Care as Anchors

Simple practices to manage stress, restore calm, and protect energy

Mindfulness and self-care can go a long way toward stress relief from a Long Island divorce. Try short, targeted techniques like 10-minute breathwork, a 5-minute body scan, or a 15-minute mindful walk, to interrupt negative rumination and provide stress relief from your Long Island divorce. Clinical programs like 6-8 week Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) courses regularly report measurable reductions in anxiety and improved sleep. You can also join meditation groups on Long Island who offer guided sessions.

Self-Care Essentials: Prioritizing Your Wellbeing

I prioritize sleep (7-9 hours), 150 minutes of moderate activity weekly, balanced meals, and weekly therapy or support group check-ins; setting firm boundaries around calls or paperwork for at least 90 minutes a day to protect your emotional energy. Tracking these basics for 30 days can help identify the one change that most improves your mood and resilience during and after your divorce or separation.

Expanding that toolbox, try to keep concrete routines: a bedtime ritual (no screens 30 minutes prior to going to bed), meal prep with protein and vegetables three times a day, and scheduling three 30-minute walks each week to hit the CDC-recommended 150 minutes.

When to Seek Professional or Emergency Help on Long Island, NY

Recognizing red flags and knowing where to turn quickly

Beware of these warning signs  you should take seriously. If you are experiencing low moods, tearfulness, or loss of interest for more than two weeks, you experience suicidal thoughts or a plan, panic attacks multiple times a week, sleep under four hours nightly, or are increasing your alcohol/drug use (daily or escalating) you should seek help immediately. You should also seek help if you notice you are experiencing a functional decline like missed work, unsafe parenting, or severe social withdrawal over 4-6 weeks. These are signals that you need for professional care; call 988 or a local Long Island mental health provider immediately for crisis support.

Utilize Long Island’s Many Resources to Support Your Emotional & Mental Health During and After Your Divorce

Divorce is as much an emotional journey as a legal one, and I encourage you to prioritize your mental wellbeing by accessing Long Island’s wealth of counseling, support groups, and community resources. Identify coping strategies, build a support network, and stabilize routines so you can make clear decisions, manage stress, and protect your children and yourself through and after your divorce or separation.

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Emotional & Mental Health Support During and After Divorce

At Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C., we understand that divorce is not only a legal process but an emotional journey that requires compassionate, comprehensive support. Our experienced divorce and family law attorneys serve clients throughout Nassau and Suffolk counties with personalized legal strategies and empathetic guidance tailored to your unique situation.

We work closely with professionals across Long Island — including therapists, mental health providers, and parenting specialists — to ensure your emotional well-being is protected while we advocate for your legal rights.

At Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C., we understand that divorce is never just a legal matter. It’s an emotional journey that affects every part of your life. With decades of experience guiding clients across Nassau and Suffolk counties on Long Island, NY, our attorneys combine skilled legal representation with compassionate support to help you make clear decisions, protect your family, and move forward with confidence. If you’re facing divorce, you don’t have to go through it alone. If you are navigating the stress of separation, custody, or divorce-related anxiety, we encourage you to take the first step toward peace of mind. Contact us today for a free consultation and case evaluation, and let our team help you navigate both the legal and personal challenges of this difficult time. Call 631-923-1910 or fill in the brief form on this page. We’ll help you move forward with clarity, stability, and strength.

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Frequently Asked Questions About DIY Divorce

Q: How can I manage the immediate emotional shock after separation or filing for divorce?

A: Accept that intense feelings of grief, anger, relief, and confusion are normal. Create a short daily routine that includes sleep, hygiene, regular meals, light exercise, and a brief grounding practice (deep breaths, sensory check). Limit major decisions for a few weeks when possible and lean on one trusted friend or a therapist for perspective. If you have children, keep routines predictable for them to reduce household stress.

Q: What types of mental health support are available on Long Island and how do I find them?

A: Long Island offers community mental health centers, private therapists, faith-based counseling, and peer-led divorce support groups; county health departments in Nassau and Suffolk list local providers. Use online directories like Psychology Today or Zocdoc or Long Island Crisis Center or call your health insurance company for an in-network list for referrals. Many providers offer sliding-scale fees or telehealth appointments to increase your convenient access.

Q: How do I cope with anxiety, panic attacks, or depressive symptoms during the divorce process?

A: Use immediate grounding techniques for panic (5-4-3-2-1 sensory method, paced breathing) and establish a daily structure to reduce rumination. Engage in regular physical activity, maintain social contact, and consider evidence-based treatments like cognitive behavioral therapy or medication if recommended by a psychiatrist. Keep a symptom log to share with your provider so care can be tailored effectively.

Q: What strategies help support children's emotional health through divorce?

A: Keep communication age-appropriate, honest, and consistent Reassure children that both of their parents love them and that they are not to blame. Maintain predictable routines, collaborate with the other parent on rules and schedules when possible, and watch for changes in sleep, school performance, or behavior. Consider family therapy or child-focused counseling on Long Island to give kids a safe space to process emotions.

Q: How can I build social support and reduce isolation after a divorce on Long Island?

A: Join local support groups, community centers, or classes (fitness, art, volunteering, etc.) to meet people outside the divorce context. Many towns host divorce workshops or meetup groups; check library and community calendars. Use technology for connection-trusted online forums or therapy groups if necessary, but prioritize in-person contacts that foster consistent, reciprocal relationships.

Q: How should I handle conflict and communication with an ex to protect my mental health?

A: Establish clear boundaries and prefer written communication for logistics to reduce emotional escalation. Use neutral language, keep messages brief and focused on facts, and set response-time expectations. When conflict is frequent, consider parallel parenting plans, mediation, or court-ordered communication tools to minimize direct contact and preserve stability for you and any children.

Q: When is professional or emergency help necessary and what local resources can I contact?

A: Seek urgent help if you have thoughts of harming yourself or others, severe panic that disrupts functioning, or marked withdrawal and inability to care for daily needs. Call 988 for immediate crisis support or contact 911 emergency services. For non-emergency intensive care, reach out to Nassau County Department of Mental Health, Chemical Dependency & Developmental Disabilities Services  or Suffolk County Division of Community Mental Hygiene Services, local hospitals with behavioral health units, or the Long Island Crisis Center to arrange assessments and next-step treatment.

Going through a divorce is never easy, but Hornberger Verbitsky made the process smooth, respectful, and solution-focused. I worked closely with attorney Anne Marie Lanni, who was outstanding in every way. She resolved conflicts with professionalism, communicated clearly and effectively, and authored an agreement that was thoughtful and fair. Her attention to detail and calm, competent approach gave me real peace of mind.

Lead attorney Rob was also fantastic—personable, friendly, and genuinely supportive throughout. He made a tough process feel manageable and always took time to check in and make sure I felt heard and supported.

The team’s commitment to a problem-solving approach, their impressive professional network, and even their supportive nature and community values really set them apart. I felt like more than just a case—I felt cared for and well-represented.

Highly recommend Hornberger Verbitsky if you want trusted guidance and a team that gets results with integrity and compassion.”

~ John Genova

RECOGNIZED FOR EXCELLENCE BY:

10 Best Family Law Attorney Award 2022 - American Institute of Family Law Attorneys
Avvo 10.0 Rating - Robert Eugene Hornberger Top Divorce Attorney
Super Lawyers Rising Stars - Robert E. Hornberger
5-Star Avvo Reviews – Robert Eugene Hornberger
Lead Counsel Verified Family Law Attorney Badge
Avvo Clients’ Choice Award 2020 – Robert Eugene Hornberger
Lead Counsel Rated Attorney – Verified Professional Distinction
Distinguished Peer Rating 2023 – High Professional Achievement


Google Reviews for Robert Hornberger, Divorce Attorney


Successful Divorce Strategies Free eBook



Child Support & Spousal Maintenance Tools
Spousal Maintenance Calculator
Child Support Calculator
Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. respects your right to privacy. We will never sell your information to any third party. Follow this link to read our full privacy policy.

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Horberger Verbitsky, P.C. partners Robert E. Hornberger, Esq. and Christine M. Verbitsky, Esq.
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About the Author

Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., Founding Partner, Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.

  • Over 20 years practicing matrimonial law
  • Over 1,000 cases successfully resolved
  • Founder and Partner of Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.
  • Experienced and compassionate Long Island Divorce Attorney, Family Law Attorney, and Divorce Mediator
  • Licensed to practice law in the State of New York
  • New York State Bar Association member
  • Nassau County Bar Association member
  • Suffolk County Bar Association member
  • “Super Lawyer” Metro Rising Star
  • Nominated Best of Long Island Divorce Attorney four consecutive years
  • Alternative Dispute Resolution Committee Contributor
  • Collaborative Law Association of New York – Former Director
  • Martindale Hubbell Distinguished Designation
  • America’s Most Honored Professionals – Top 5%
  • Lead Counsel Rated – Divorce Law
  • American Institute of Family Law Attorneys 10 Best
  • International Academy of Collaborative Professionals
  • Graduate of Hofstra University School of Law
  • Double Bachelor’s degrees in Philosophy, Politics & Law and History from SUNY Binghamton University
  • Full Robert E. Hornberger, Esq. Bio

Post-Divorce Financial Planning for Long Island, NY Residents

Post-Divorce Financial Planning for Long Island, NY Residents

Home » Divorce Lawyer Divorce Attorney, NY

Post-Divorce Financial Planning for Long Island, NY Residents

It’s an undisputed fact: divorce  will no doubt reshape your finances. As a divorce attorney with over 20 years of experience practicing matrimonial law, I try to advise my Long Island clients in Nassau County and Suffolk County to take practical, actionable steps to rebuild their budget post-divorce, protect their retirement assets, manage their debt, and update their insurance and tax strategies. I lean on local resources and my legal experience so they can make informed choices about credit, investments, and when it makes sense to bring in a financial advisor or CPA to help you on your path to financial security.

Key Takeaways 

  • Make a list of all assets and debts, note any ownership changes, and update payees and beneficiaries as a result of your divorce.
  • Create a post-divorce budget that’s realistic for a single person, covering housing, childcare, taxes, and be sure to set up an emergency fund.
  • Rebuild and protect your credit: open individual accounts, pull your credit reports monthly, prioritize paying down high-interest debt, and stay current with all payments.
  • Understand the tax angle on divorce settlements: alimony rules, filing status; don’t forget transfers of retirement accounts (401(k), IRA) and the impact of capital gains.
  • Review retirement plans and consider adjustments: get QDROs when needed, roll over your 401(k)/IRA correctly, and reassess your retirement savings targets.
  • Review and update your insurance and health coverage: evaluate COBRA or Marketplace options, update beneficiaries on life insurance, and confirm disability coverage.
  • Engage local professionals (attorneys, financial advisors, CPAs) who understand Nassau and Suffolk counties’ legal framework. Consider Long Island counseling services for structured planning.

The Critical Importance of Financial Literacy after Divorce on Long Island, NY

Financial literacy drives every decision post-divorce. Knowing your cash flow, the tax impact of your divorce settlement, how retirement is split, and how to rebuild credit can help you avoid costly mistakes. I generally suggest my clients track 90 days’ worth of their spending habits. I also suggest they set an emergency fund target of 3-6 months of expenses and review all asset accounts-like 401(k)s, IRAs, and pensions. On Long Island, a second income loss can shrink cash flow by 30-50% or more. Forecasting your cash flow accurately and negotiating smart settlement terms can protect your housing stability and your long-term retirement security.

Emotional vs. Financial Recovery After Divorce

The emotional turmoil of a divorce can push people toward rushed financial decisions. Too often, I’ve seen clients cash out retirement accounts and end up with a poorer settlement just to move on. An early withdrawal from a 401(k) before age 59½ triggers a 10% penalty, and income tax on the balance can wipe out thousands of dollars. I encourage my clients to set a 90-day interim period before taking any big financial steps. You can create a monthly cash-flow statement, then consult a CPA or financial planner to understand the implications of alimony, child support, and tax filing status before agreeing to anything.

Long-Term Implications of Poor Financial Decisions

Quick fixes today can echo for decades. For example, cashing out a $100,000 retirement account may cost 20-30% in taxes and penalties and erase the compound growth that could have doubled the balance in 20 years. Missing a QDRO can prevent access to pension funds. A damaged credit score means higher mortgage rates and pricier auto loans. I suggest running 10-, 20-, and 30-year projections to identify and quantify potential retirement income shortfalls and risks, especially around the issue housing affordability, especially here on Long Island, where housing costs are particularly challenging.

Technical Errors Magnify Over Time

I suggest trustee-to-trustee rollovers so there’s no withholding, verify QDRO language for defined benefit plans, and have clients update beneficiaries. If you forget to update your beneficiaries, your former spouse could end up with your funds. When someone is eligible for spousal or survivor benefits from Social Security, those benefits have defined periods of eligibility; while there’s no penalty for delaying benefits, delaying can increase your monthly benefit. Running scenarios with different timing for Social Security, taxes, health premiums, and refinancing can help you prioritize what to do and close long-term gaps.

Creating a Sustainable Budget for Your New Reality

Here’s how I suggest you approach a post-divorce budget to fits your new reality.

  1. Build an emergency fund of 3-6 months’ expenses
  2. Keep housing costs to about 30-40% of your net pay (Long Island realities)
  3. Contribute 10-15% of your take-home pay to retirement until your accounts are rebuilt.

To ensure this works, track your incomes and expenses for a few months to see how your discretionary spending breaks down. Do it in a spreadsheet or an app, then set discretionary monthly goals for savings, debt repayment, child-related expenses, and bills.

Free New York Divorce Lawyer Consultation

How to Identify Your Income and Expenses

To craft your new budget, pull together:

  • Pay stubs
  • Settlement documents if you’re receiving child support or alimony
  • Investment statements if you’re receiving a distribution
  • Any freelance income
  • If you’re renting or have rental income
  • The last 3 months of bank and credit card statements to separate recurring expenses from likely one-time costs

If your net income is about $5,000 a month, it’s reasonable to expect housing, taxes, and insurance to run roughly $1,500-$2,000 per month on Long Island, NY. Also note the one-time costs that pop up like annual property taxes, higher winter heating bills, or auto costs-that can help you cushion cash flow so you’re not blindsided.

Funding Requirements for New Priorities

Given the current economic environment, I often suggest new clients start with a modified 50/30/20 budget until they’re back on their feet: 50% needs, 30% wants/transition costs, 20% savings/debt. If child care obligations or legal expenses are especially tight, you can go with 60/20/20.

Key moves to start with:

  • Rebuild your emergency fund
  • Reinstate your employer retirement contributions and maximize employer matches
  • Put the remaining cash toward paying off high-interest debt
  • Create separate monthly allocations for childcare, school fees, and medical co-pays so these don’t chip away at your basic living expenses

I also suggest keeping child support and school costs in a separate account. It’s better to have, say, a $6,000 tax bill and set aside $500/month in a tax sinking fund than to borrow when the bill comes due. Use your tax refunds and any lump sums from a settlement first to top up your emergency fund and knock down high-interest debt, then split the rest between a down payment fund and retirement savings for long-term stability.

Rebuilding Your Credit Score in Phases

I often suggest clients to pull their three credit reports at AnnualCreditReport.com or a similar service and dispute any inaccuracies right away. Lower revolving utilization to below 30%, ideally under 10%, to see real gains. Consider adding an extra secured card or a credit-builder loan, but make sure everything is paid on time, avoid new hard inquiries, and check your progress each month. With disciplined behavior and corrected items, most clients see tangible increases in 3-6 months.

Credit Repair Road Map Step-by-Step

Step 1: Obtain reports – Order Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion reports using AnnualCreditReport.com

Step 2: Find errors – Identify wrong balances, duplicate accounts, erroneous late payments, etc.

Step 3: Dispute – Dispute online and by mail with certified receipt and supporting documentation

Step 4: Reduce utilization – Pay down balances. Goal is <30% utilization, ideally <10%

Step 5: Build tradelines – Use secured cards, credit-builder loans, or be authorized on a positive account

Step 6: Watch – Use alerts, monthly checks, and free monitoring for incongruities

 

notebook of financial charts on desk

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Understanding The Credit Repair Process

I suggest my clients start by pulling all three credit reports and logging every discrepancy with screenshots or statements. Each dispute prompts an investigation by the bureaus, and creditors usually have 30-45 days to respond.

When inaccuracies in your credit reports create a large balance, I recommend sending dispute letters by certified mail. Include invoices or proof of payment. If the credit bureau can’t fix the errors, I escalate the issue to the creditor-and, if needed, to the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB).

Strategies To Manage And Lower Debt: the Avalanche Versus Snowball Theories

To create a strategy to manage and reduce your debt, I suggest weighing both the avalanche method (paying the highest APR first) and the snowball method (paying the smallest balance first), and then pick the best fit based on your patterns. For example, if you’ve got a $12,000 balance at 22% and a $2,000 balance at a lower rate, you can see real savings by tackling the high-rate card first. Because the bigger balance accrues more interest, you’ll save more even if you keep paying the lower-rate card for a while.

I often suggest debt consolidation with a 0% interest balance transfer (that can last 12-18 months) or a personal loan at 8-12% APR. Either option can reduce monthly interest and simplify your payments. When negotiating with creditors, clients have settled 40-60% of the principal on charged-off accounts. Others have moved balances from 22% cards to a 10% personal loan, cutting their interest by about $1,800 a year on a $15,000 balance. Set yourself up an automatic payment schedule, start an emergency savings fund of $1,000, and apply the remaining cash flow to high-interest balances until you reach a target usage rate and establish an on-time repayment history.

Consult with your accountant or financial planner to ensure you understand the changes to alimony, transferring retirement accounts, and traps around capital gains so there are no surprises on April 15. There were notable tax changes for divorces finalized after December 31, 2018. Alimony is not taxable to the recipient and not deductible by the payor; transfers of property related to your divorce are generally tax-free as long as the transfer is made under IRC 1041; and a qualified domestic relations order (QDRO) allows a participant in a tax-deferred retirement account under ERISA to give an item of the retirement account to their former spouse.

Tax Consequences of Property Division on Long Island, NY

Dividing your marital home and dividing investment property have different tax consequences. Transfers due to divorce are generally non-recognized events under IRC 1041, meaning that the basis carries forward and gains will apply later. The home-sale exclusion of $250,000 for single and $500,000 for married filing jointly applies when you meet the two of five-year rule, so it’s possible to owe higher capital gains tax if you sell too soon after your divorce settlement.

Changes to Your Tax Filing Status & Other Considerations

Your tax due hinges on your marital status as of December 31, so it’s important to understand the consequences of fining single, married filing separately, or head of household. Head of household is usually better than single, since it offers lower tax rates and a larger standard deduction, provided you pay more than half the household costs and have a qualifying person living with you for most of the year.

If your divorce is finalized at year-end, you’re treated as not being married for that tax year, which changes your filing picture. Understand your child custody agreement and who gets to claim the dependents (generally the custodial parent has priority) and how exemptions or credits in the settlement affect your eligibility. A mistake here could cost you thousands and complicate your eligibility for credits like the child tax credit or earned income tax credit, so it’s important to coordinate with your CPA to document entitlements for inclusion in the settlement language.

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Retirement Readiness: Planning Life After Divorce

You should recalculate your retirement timeline after your divorce, factoring in Long Island’s high housing and property tax costs and the reality that you may have 25 or 30 years of living in retirement. If you were married more than 10 years, check to determine if you’re eligible for spousal Social Security benefits. Determine whether a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) is required when splitting 401(k)s or pensions to avoid tax implications and penalties. Be sure to update the named beneficiaries of any insurance plans, investment accounts or pensions, review your survivor options, and develop a new withdrawal strategy based on your reduced household income.

Reassess Your Retirement Goals After Divorce

You should assess your target income using a 70-80% replacement ratio and compare that to your current savings, Social Security payments, and any pension. Take into account the living costs on Long Island, your potential health care needs, and a 25-30-year funding horizon. If you relied on two incomes during your marriage, you should expect at least a 20-40% shortfall in household income. Develop best-case, middle-case, and worst-case scenarios to achieve concrete annual savings targets plus a timeline to recover your shortfall.

Maximize Your Investments and Savings for Tomorrow

I recommend consolidating retirement accounts, completing the necessary QDROs, and evaluating rollovers to reduce your fees and simplify management of your accounts. If you’re 50 or older, look into catch-up contributions and possible Roth conversions to balance future tax exposure from investments. Aim to save about 10-15% of your income for retirement, keep 3-6 months of cash reserves for emergencies, and pay off high-interest debt first if the interest rate would outpace your expected investment returns.

I recommend you focus on asset-allocation. Longer time horizons until retirement usually sit around 60/40 for equity/fixed income, with more bonds as you approach 65, and I recommend you rebalance annually. For example, saving $500 a month with a 6% annual return for 20 years grows to about $230,000. Adding extra contributions or a higher rate of return can push those numbers even higher. Efficient withdrawal strategies, a Health Savings Account (HSA) for medical costs, and working with a fiduciary advisor can significantly boost your net income in retirement.

Shifting Insurance Needs: Update Coverage, After Divorce

Health Insurance Considerations Post-Divorce

If you had health insurance under your spouse, you’ll likely have several options to get your own health insurance, including COBRA continuation, a plan from the NY State of Health Marketplace, an employer plan, or Medicaid. COBRA can extend coverage for up to 36 months, and premiums are typically about 100-102% of the plan cost. For example, if a family premium is $1,200 per month, the COBRA cost would be around $1,224. I recommend comparing monthly premiums, deductibles, provider networks, and subsidy eligibility. We can’t predict post-divorce income, so you’ll want to see if you qualify for subsidized Marketplace coverage or Medicaid on Long Island.

Life and Property Insurance After Divorce on Long Island, NY

I advise changing beneficiaries on life insurance, checking whose policy applies, and understanding conversion/portability windows for group coverage. Many group plans offer a conversion option within roughly 31 days.

For homeowners, verify that minimum dwelling coverage covers current rebuilding costs, and adjust your liability limits or add an umbrella policy (typically $1M-$5M) to protect against post-marriage exposure to shared assets. It’s common for divorce settlements to require preserving life insurance for alimony or child support, so if the settlement calls for a $300,000 policy, ensure it’s designated and owned per the court order and that the insurer files any required proof.

If you own the marital home in Nassau County or Suffolk County, get a current replacement-cost estimate because local rebuilding rates can push you to raise dwelling limits. Also notify your mortgage lender if ownership changes so their lien remains valid.

Finally, review umbrella policy exclusions and make sure your ex-spouse’s name is removed from liability exposure on your home and auto premiums. Request quotes showing coverage changes before you finalize your settlement to avoid gaps.

Careful Post-Divorce Financial Planning Is Critical for Long Island Residents

A carefully crafted post-divorce financial plan can help you manage your cash flow, protect your assets, rebuild your credit, mitigate your tax and insurance changes, and keep your retirement on track so your Long Island future is secure. I encourage you to adopt a realistic budget, seek help from a financial planner or CPA, and take advantage of the free counseling services available in Suffolk and Nassau to map out a solid action plan and regain confidence in your financial future.

Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. Family Law Attorneys Can Assist in Financial Planning on Long Island, NY

In order to fully protect your rights and your finances post-divorce, you should seek the assistance of a Long Island, NY divorce lawyer experienced with financial planning like Hornberger Verbitsky, PC. When you set up your free consultation with us at we will discuss all the relevant facts and circumstances surrounding your case in order to get a better understanding of your situation and how we can best protect your assets. Call our office today at 631-923-1910 to schedule your complimentary consultation with one of our experienced Long Island divorce attorneys.

Free New York Divorce Lawyer Consultation

Annemarie Lanni represented me and I could not have asked for a better experience. Annemarie is exactly what you hope for in a lawyer and makes the best possible experience out of a bad situation. Annemarie takes the time and effort to fully understand your position and goals and then uses her expertise to devise a strategy that works perfectly for you. She is a great listener and someone you can really trust. I would recommend Annemarie to anyone.”

~ Jim Solano

GET YOUR FREE CONSULTATION TODAY Call 631-923-1910 or fill in the form below

Horberger Verbitsky, P.C. partners Robert E. Hornberger, Esq. and Christine M. Verbitsky, Esq.

Horberger Verbitsky, P.C. partners Robert E. Hornberger, Esq. and Christine M. Verbitsky, Esq.

At your consultation, we will:

  • Conduct a Comprehensive Review of your particular situation
  • Provide a Full Explanation of the Legal Issues involved in your matter
  • Discuss your Goals and Objectives
  • Develop a Strategic Plan to Achieve your Goals
  • Answer All of Your Questions & Concerns
  • Provide Advice on collecting Key Documentation and Evidence to gather to achieve your desired outcome

Your attorney will describe the many options available to determine together the right solution for you. By the end of this  conversation, we’ll all understand how we can best help you to move forward.

No Cost or Obligation

There is no cost or obligation for this initial consultation. It is simply an opportunity for us to get to know each other, answer your questions and learn if Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. is right the right law firm for you. Give us a call at 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form below for your free consultation and case evaluation. All Fields Are Required

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About the Author

Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., Founding Partner, Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.

  • Over 20 years practicing matrimonial law
  • Over 1,000 cases successfully resolved
  • Founder and Partner of Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.
  • Experienced and compassionate Long Island Divorce Attorney, Family Law Attorney, and Divorce Mediator
  • Licensed to practice law in the State of New York
  • New York State Bar Association member
  • Nassau County Bar Association member
  • Suffolk County Bar Association member
  • “Super Lawyer” Metro Rising Star
  • Nominated Best of Long Island Divorce Attorney four consecutive years
  • Alternative Dispute Resolution Committee Contributor
  • Collaborative Law Association of New York – Former Director
  • Martindale Hubbell Distinguished Designation
  • America’s Most Honored Professionals – Top 5%
  • Lead Counsel Rated – Divorce Law
  • American Institute of Family Law Attorneys 10 Best
  • International Academy of Collaborative Professionals
  • Graduate of Hofstra University School of Law
  • Double Bachelor’s degrees in Philosophy, Politics & Law and History from SUNY Binghamton University
  • Full Robert E. Hornberger, Esq. Bio
how to prepare for an uncontested divorce video link

RECOGNIZED FOR EXCELLENCE BY:

10 Best Family Law Attorney Award 2022 - American Institute of Family Law Attorneys
Avvo 10.0 Rating - Robert Eugene Hornberger Top Divorce Attorney
Super Lawyers Rising Stars - Robert E. Hornberger
5-Star Avvo Reviews – Robert Eugene Hornberger
Lead Counsel Verified Family Law Attorney Badge
Avvo Clients’ Choice Award 2020 – Robert Eugene Hornberger
Lead Counsel Rated Attorney – Verified Professional Distinction
Distinguished Peer Rating 2023 – High Professional Achievement


Google Reviews for Robert Hornberger, Divorce Attorney


Successful Divorce Strategies Free eBook



Child Support & Spousal Maintenance Tools
Spousal Maintenance Calculator
Child Support Calculator
Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. respects your right to privacy. We will never sell your information to any third party. Follow this link to read our full privacy policy.

Frequently Asked Questions About Financial Planning After Divorce

Q: Why is post-divorce financial planning important for Long Island, NY residents?

A: Divorce changes your income, taxes, housing needs and costs, and benefits all at once. On Long Island, where housing costs, property taxes, and commuting can be expensive, re-checking your cash flow, emergency savings, and long-term goals right after your settlement can help you avoid financial shortfalls, protect your future credit, and build a sustainable plan for housing, kids’ costs, and retirement.

Q: What steps should I take to create a realistic budget after my divorce?

A: Start by listing every source of income (wages, child support, alimony, investment income) and all expenses (fixed and variable). Don’t forget new housing costs, utilities, insurance, and transportation. Build a three-to-six-month emergency fund, pay off debt starting with the highest interest rate, cover your taxes, make retirement contributions, and track your monthly cash flow with a budgeting tool or worksheet. Review the budget every three months in the first year and adjust as needed.

Q: How should I handle joint debts and credit after my divorce?

A: Identify all joint accounts and liabilities, like credit cards or loans. Tell the creditors about your divorce and work to close shared credit lines or remove your name from joint accounts. You’ll likely need to refinance your house or car loan into one person’s name after you’ve made the proper changes. Keep paying joint accounts until they’re officially separated to avoid collections. Check your credit report for mistakes and dispute anything that’s incorrect. Start rebuilding your credit with on-time payments, or a secured card or small installment loan if necessary.

Q: What tax issues do I need to consider when finalizing my divorce settlement in New York?

A: Important points include: (1) For divorces after 12/31/2018, alimony isn’t deductible by the payer or taxable to the recipient. (2) Child support isn’t taxable income and isn’t deductible. (3) Property transfers as part of divorce are generally non-taxable, but selling assets later may trigger capital gains. (4) Changing your filing status can affect tax brackets and eligibility for credits; custody arrangements can affect who can claim dependents and credits. We recommend working with a CPA early to model taxes for the first year and any long-term effects.

Q: How are retirement accounts divided and where does a QDRO come into play?

A: For employer-sponsored plans (401(k), pensions, etc.), a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) is usually needed to assign benefits to a former spouse without penalties. IRAs can generally be divided as part of the divorce via a transfer provision in the settlement, and don’t require a QDRO, but treat the divided IRA as a direct trustee-to-trustee transfer to avoid a taxable distribution. When dividing retirement accounts, consider survivor benefits, required minimum distributions, and how the division will affect you in the long run.

Q: What if I have to change insurance and health coverage after divorce?

A: Divorce can affect your eligibility for your spouse’s employer-sponsored health plan. COBRA may let you keep coverage for up to 36 months, and there may be more affordable options or subsidies through the ACA marketplace. Update beneficiaries on life insurance, and you may need to increase coverage if it’s tied to a support obligation. Review disability, auto, and homeowners policies for updates and decide who’s responsible for coverage if a claim comes up.

Q: When should I be hiring a financial advisor and CPA on Long Island?

A: Bring in a CFP or CPA if you’re dealing with complex assets (business, multiple properties, large retirement accounts), if you need tax modeling, if you’re nearing retirement, or if you have little prior investment experience. No-cost or low-cost resources include nonprofit credit counselors, HUD-approved housing counselors, and Nassau and Suffolk county bar association lawyer-referral services for budgeting, credit help, and legal referrals. Take control of the financial future you want. Our experienced attorneys can connect you with trusted financial professionals in Suffolk and Nassau Counties.

Experienced Divorce Lawyers Protecting Your Rights on Long Island, NY

Experienced Divorce Lawyers Protecting Your Rights on Long Island, NY

Experienced Divorce Lawyers Protecting Your Rights on Long Island, NY

When facing the challenges of divorce, having the right legal support can make all the difference. Our team of experienced divorce lawyers near you on Long Island, NY, is dedicated to protecting your rights and guiding you through every step of the process. We understand that divorce can be emotionally taxing and complicated, which is why we strive to provide compassionate and personalized legal assistance every step of the way.

From the initial consultation to the final settlement, we will work closely with you to understand your unique situation and goals. Our divorce lawyers are well-versed in all aspects of family law, including child custody, property division, and spousal support. We will advocate fiercely on your behalf, ensuring that your interests are represented and that you receive the best outcome possible.

We also recognize that every divorce is different. Whether you are seeking an amicable resolution or preparing for a contentious battle, our team is equipped to handle your case with professionalism and care. We prioritize open communication, keeping you informed and involved throughout the process.

If you are considering divorce or have already begun the process, don’t hesitate to reach out to the best divorce lawyers near you at Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. Let our experienced and compassionate Long Island divorce lawyers on help you navigate this challenging time with confidence and clarity. Your future is important, and we are here to help you protect it. Contact us today at 631-923-1910 for a free consultation so you can take the first steps toward a new beginning.

 

Why Choose Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. for Your Long Island Divorce?

  • Choosing Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. for your Long Island divorce means you are selecting a team of divorce attorneys near you that prioritizes your needs and well-being. Our lawyers bring a wealth of experience and a deep understanding of family law, ensuring that you receive knowledgeable and compassionate representation.
  • We recognize that every divorce is unique, and we take the time to listen to your concerns and goals. Our personalized approach allows us to tailor our strategies to fit your specific situation, whether it involves child custody, asset division, or spousal support.
  • We are committed to clear communication. You will always be informed about the progress of your case every step of the way, and we will be available to answer any questions you may have. Our goal is to empower you with the information you need to make informed decisions.
  • We understand the importance of minimizing conflict. We strive to resolve disputes amicably whenever possible, using negotiation and mediation techniques that can save you time, money, and emotional strain. However, if litigation becomes necessary, our skilled divorce attorneys are experienced litigators prepared to advocate fiercely on your behalf.
  • Sole Focus on Family Law. Unlike many firms, we specialize exclusively in family law, with a deep focus on divorce cases in Nassau and Suffolk counties. This ensures our lawyers have the in-depth knowledge and experience to handle your specific needs effectively.
  • Proven Track Record. Our team of experienced divorce attorneys have a successful history of representing clients in all types of divorce cases on Long Island, New York.
  • Client-Centered Approach. We understand that every divorce is unique. We take the time to listen to your concerns, understand your goals, and develop a personalized legal strategy that aligns with your priorities.
  • Compassionate & Effective. We combine empathy with strong legal representation, ensuring you are supported and empowered throughout the divorce process.
  • We can help you navigate this challenging time with confidence. Contact Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. today to schedule your consultation and take the first step toward a brighter future. You deserve a supportive partner in this journey, and we are here to help you every step of the way.
Free New York Divorce Lawyer Consultation
Free New York Divorce Lawyer Consultation

Our Long Island Divorce Services

  • Uncontested Divorce: If you and your spouse are in agreement on all issues, we will streamline the uncontested divorce process.
  • Contested Divorce: While we strive to resolve disputes amicably whenever possible, if litigation becomes inevitable, our experienced litigators prepared to advocate fiercely on your behalf in court. We will fiercely advocate for your rights in court a contested divorce when an agreement cannot be amicably achieved with your spouse.
  • Divorce Mediation: If you prefer a more collaborative approach, we offer mediation services to help you and your spouse reach mutually beneficial agreements. This can often lead to a quicker resolution and less emotional strain, allowing both parties to move forward positively. We offer mediation services to help couples reach amicable agreements without the stress of a courtroom battle. Our trained mediators facilitate discussions, ensuring both parties feel heard and respected.
  • High Net Worth Divorce: We have the expertise to handle complex financial issues involved in high-net-worth divorces, ensuring you get what you deserve and protect your assets.
  • Child Custody and Support: Navigating child custody and child support arrangements can be challenging. We work diligently to advocate for your parental rights while prioritizing the best interests of your children. We will protect your children’s best interests and secure fair, child-centered arrangements. Our team also assists with child support calculations and modifications.
  • Property Division: Understanding how to fairly divide marital assets is crucial during a divorce. We provide guidance on equitable distribution laws in New York, helping you protect your financial interests.
  • Spousal Support (Alimony): Whether you are seeking spousal support or need to respond to a request, our attorneys will help you understand your rights and obligations, ensuring a fair outcome. We will negotiate or litigate spousal support agreements ensuring you receive or pay a fair amount.
  • Post-Divorce Modifications: Life changes, and so do circumstances. If you need to modify child custody, support arrangements, or spousal maintenance after your divorce is finalized, we are here to assist you. Our team will help you navigate the legal process to ensure that your new situation is fairly represented.
  • Domestic Violence Cases: If you are facing domestic violence, we prioritize your safety and well-being. Our team can help you obtain protective orders and guide you through the legal steps necessary to ensure your protection.
  • Collaborative Divorce: For those seeking a less adversarial approach, we offer collaborative divorce services. This process involves both parties and their attorneys working together to reach a mutually beneficial agreement.
  • Division of Assets & Debts: We will ensure a fair and equitable division of assets and debts accumulated during the marriage.
  • Personalized Legal Support: Every divorce is different, and we understand that your needs are unique. Our team will tailor our approach to fit your specific circumstances, ensuring that you receive the personalized support you deserve. We are committed to being your advocates, guiding you through each stage of the process with compassion and expertise.
  • Consultation Services: Not sure where to start? We provide a free initial consultation and case evaluation via phone, online or in our offices convenient to both Nassau and Suffolk county to discuss your situation, answer your questions, and outline your options moving forward.

At our Long Island divorce law firm, we are dedicated to providing you with the support and expertise you need during this challenging time. Our commitment to family law means we are always up-to-date with the latest legal developments, ensuring you receive the best possible representation. Let us help you navigate your divorce with confidence and care.

Contact Us Today: Don’t face this journey alone. Reach out to us today to schedule your free consultation. Let us help you take the first step toward a brighter future. Your peace of mind is our priority, and we are here to support you every step of the way.

Free New York Divorce Lawyer Consultation
Free New York Divorce Lawyer Consultation

Awards & Recognition for Our Long Island Divorce Lawyers

In addition to its many 5-star reviews from its clients on Google, Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. and its founding partner Robert E. Hornberger Esq. have been recognized by many of industry-leading attorney-rating associations, including Super Lawyers, American Institute of Family Law Attorneys, AVVO, Law Info Lead Counsel Verified, Martindale Hubbell and Lawyers.com.

Free Consultation and Case Evaluation with an Experienced Divorce Lawyer Near You

Don’t face this challenging time alone. We offer a free consultation and case evaluation with one of our experienced attorneys to discuss your unique situation. During this initial meeting, we will listen to your concerns, answer your questions, and outline the steps involved in your divorce process. Our goal is to provide you with clarity and confidence as you navigate this challenging time. Your attorney will describe the many options available and help you determine together which is the right solution for you. By the end of this conversation, we’ll all understand how we can best help you to move forward.

Schedule a free consultation and case evaluation with an experienced Long Island divorce lawyer to discuss your case and learn how we can help. We will answer your questions, explain your legal options, and help you understand your rights. Contact Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. divorce law firm today for your complimentary consultation and case evaluation .

 

“Rob and the entire office went above and beyond more than I expected. From beginning to end they made it as easy as possible considering. Patty from the front end side, always kept me updated with emails/phone calls and was very easy to communicate with. When it comes to choosing a lawyer during a difficult time, you want someone who will fight for you and defend you in every way possible which is why I will always recommend Rob to whoever is in need. . He was SO knowledgeable, always transparent and literally the definition of a shark. I felt less stressed knowing he was by my side. You will not regret choosing Rob and his office to represent you!”

~ Nicole Polacsek

GET YOUR FREE CONSULTATION TODAY Call 631-923-1910 or fill in the form below

Horberger Verbitsky, P.C. partners Robert E. Hornberger, Esq. and Christine M. Verbitsky, Esq.

Horberger Verbitsky, P.C. partners Robert E. Hornberger, Esq. and Christine M. Verbitsky, Esq.

Get your complimentary consultation and case evaluation with our experienced attorneys today. Your attorney will describe the many options available and determine together which is the right solution for you. By the end of this  conversation, we’ll all understand how we can best help you to move forward.

No Cost or Obligation

There is no cost or obligation for this initial consultation. It is simply an opportunity for us to get to know each other, answer your questions and learn if Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. is right the right law firm for you. Give us a call at 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form below for your free consultation and case evaluation.

All Fields Are Required

About the Author

Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., Founding Partner, Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.

  • Over 20 years practicing matrimonial law
  • Over 1,000 cases successfully resolved
  • Founder and Partner of Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.
  • Experienced and compassionate Long Island Divorce Attorney, Family Law Attorney, and Divorce Mediator
  • Licensed to practice law in the State of New York
  • New York State Bar Association member
  • Nassau County Bar Association member
  • Suffolk County Bar Association member
  • “Super Lawyer” Metro Rising Star
  • Nominated Best of Long Island Divorce Attorney four consecutive years
  • Alternative Dispute Resolution Committee Contributor
  • Collaborative Law Association of New York – Former Director
  • Martindale Hubbell Distinguished Designation
  • America’s Most Honored Professionals – Top 5%
  • Lead Counsel Rated – Divorce Law
  • American Institute of Family Law Attorneys 10 Best
  • International Academy of Collaborative Professionals
  • Graduate of Hofstra University School of Law
  • Double Bachelor’s degrees in Philosophy, Politics & Law and History from SUNY Binghamton University
  • Full Robert E. Hornberger, Esq. Bio

RECOGNIZED FOR EXCELLENCE BY:

10 Best Family Law Attorney Award 2022 - American Institute of Family Law Attorneys
Avvo 10.0 Rating - Robert Eugene Hornberger Top Divorce Attorney
Super Lawyers Rising Stars - Robert E. Hornberger
5-Star Avvo Reviews – Robert Eugene Hornberger
Lead Counsel Verified Family Law Attorney Badge
Avvo Clients’ Choice Award 2020 – Robert Eugene Hornberger
Lead Counsel Rated Attorney – Verified Professional Distinction
Distinguished Peer Rating 2023 – High Professional Achievement


Google Reviews for Robert Hornberger, Divorce Attorney


Successful Divorce Strategies Free eBook



Child Support & Spousal Maintenance Tools
Spousal Maintenance Calculator
Child Support Calculator
Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. respects your right to privacy. We will never sell your information to any third party. Follow this link to read our full privacy policy.

How to Select the Best Divorce Lawyer Near Me

How to Select the Best Divorce Lawyer Near Me

How to Select the Best Divorce Lawyer Near Me

Are you facing a challenging divorce and seeking the best divorce lawyer near you to be your guide you through this difficult time? Look no further. Hornberger Verbitsky’s experienced and dedicated legal professionals will provide you with the support and expertise you need to navigate the complexities of divorce proceedings.

With a proven track record of success and a commitment to personalized, compassionate service, our legal team is ready to advocate for your best interests every step of the way. From asset division and alimony to child custody and child support matters, we have the knowledge and skills to help you achieve a favorable outcome.

We can help alleviate your stress and uncertainty by offering you the best divorce lawyers near you for the reliable legal representation you deserve. When it comes to your divorce case, trust in our experienced team of divorce lawyers and family law attorneys to deliver you the results you need. Contact us today to schedule a free consultation and take the first step toward a brighter future.

Free New York Divorce Lawyer Consultation
Free New York Divorce Lawyer Consultation

Benefits of Engaging the Best Divorce Lawyer Near You

When it comes to important legal matters, especially in cases as sensitive as divorce and custody battles, having the best divorce lawyers by your side can make all the difference. Let’s delve into the various benefits that come with engaging Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.

#1. Cost-Effective Solutions for Divorce Cases

When facing a divorce, one of the primary concerns for individuals is the potential financial strain it may bring. The best divorce lawyers offer cost-effective solutions by streamlining the legal process, negotiating settlements, and ensuring that your rights are protected without unnecessary expenses.

#2. Expert Guidance in Complex Divorce and Custody Matters

Divorce and custody matters can quickly become complex, especially when children are involved or significant assets are at stake. The best divorce lawyers near you have the expertise to navigate through these complexities, providing you with the guidance you need to make informed decisions and secure the best possible outcome for you and your family.

#3. Navigating Asset Division and Financial Disputes

Asset division and financial disputes are common issues in divorce cases, often leading to prolonged legal battles. With a team of the best divorce lawyers near you by your side, you can rely on their knowledge and skills to effectively navigate through these disputes, ensuring a fair division of your assets and debts and a resolution to financial disagreements.

#4. Professionalism and Dedication to Client Success

Engaging the best divorce lawyers near you means having professionals who are dedicated to your success. From your initial consultation to the final resolution of your case, a reputable legal team will demonstrate professionalism, empathy, and unwavering dedication to achieving the best possible outcome for you. Our team will always be available to answer your questions and guide you in the right direction to protect your future.

The benefits of engaging an experienced legal team for divorce and custody matters are invaluable. Not only do will we provide cost-effective solutions and expert guidance, but we will also navigate complex issues, ensure fair asset division, and prioritize your success. When facing such challenging legal situations, having a trusted legal team by your side can truly make a positive difference.

Best divorce lawyer on Long Island

Additional Benefits of the Best Divorce Lawyer Near You

The best divorce lawyers near you can develop tailored strategies based on the specifics of your case. This personalized approach ensures that your legal representation is customized to address your unique needs and circumstances, increasing the likelihood of a favorable outcome.

#2. Access to a Network of Professionals

Engaging an experienced legal team grants you access to a network of professionals, including financial advisors, forensic accountants, estate planners and other experts who can provide valuable insights and support in complex divorce cases involving intricate financial matters.

#3. Emotional Support and Guidance

Legal proceedings, especially those related to divorce and custody, can be emotionally draining. The best divorce lawyers not only offer legal expertise but also provide emotional support and guidance throughout the process, helping you navigate the emotional challenges that often accompany legal disputes.

#4. Efficient Resolution of Disputes

With our knowledge and experience, the experienced legal team at Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. can work efficiently to resolve disputes, minimize delays and ensure that your case progresses smoothly. Our proactive approach helps expedite the legal process while maintaining a focus on achieving the best possible outcome for you. In this way, we can help reduce your legal costs by resolving your case sooner than some less experienced attorneys.

In essence, the advantages of engaging the best divorce lawyers near me extend beyond legal representation. They offer tailored strategies, access to a network of professionals, emotional support, and efficient dispute resolution, all of which contribute to a comprehensive and effective approach to handling complex legal matters. By choosing to work with an experienced legal team, you not only secure expert legal guidance but also gain a supportive partner dedicated to safeguarding your interests and achieving a successful resolution to your legal concerns.

Specialized Services Offered by the Best Divorce Lawyers Near You

  1. Affordable Uncontested Divorce Solutions
  2. Divorce Mediation and Collaborative Divorce Options for Amicable Resolutions
  3. Handling High-Asset and Complicated Divorce Cases with Precision
  4. Representation in Contested Divorces with Vigor
  5. Client Satisfaction and Trust as Core Values

In family law legal services, the best divorce lawyers near me offer a range of specialized services to cater to the diverse needs of their clients. These services are designed to provide comprehensive support and guidance through various legal processes, particularly in the context of divorce cases. Let’s delve into some of the key specialized services offered by these reputable legal teams.

Mediation and Collaborative Divorce Options for Amicable Resolutions

Some of the standout services provided by the best divorce lawyers near you include divorce mediation and collaborative divorce options. These approaches focus on fostering amicable resolutions between parties involved in a divorce, aiming to minimize conflict and promote mutual understanding. By facilitating open communication and negotiation, our legal team can help clients reach agreement on important matters such as asset division, child custody, and spousal support in a cooperative manner.

The Best Divorce Lawyer Near You Handle High-Asset and Complicated Divorce Cases with Precision

The best divorce lawyers near you are well-equipped to handle high-asset and complicated divorce cases with precision and expertise. These cases often involve intricate financial portfolios, valuable assets, and complex legal considerations that require careful attention to detail. Our trusted legal team has the knowledge and experience to navigate such challenging cases effectively, ensuring that our clients’ interests are protected throughout the process.

Representation in Contested Divorces with Vigor

In situations where divorces become contested and disputes arise, the best divorce lawyers near me provide strong representation with vigor. Whether in negotiations or court proceedings, our legal team advocates for our clients’ rights and interests with determination and skill. By offering strategic legal counsel and robust, aggressive representation, our team strives to achieve favorable outcomes for our clients in contested divorce cases.

Client Communication, Satisfaction and Trust Are Core Values of the Best Divorce Lawyer Near You

Above all, the best divorce lawyers near me prioritize client satisfaction, communication and trust as core values. We understand the emotional and financial stakes involved in your divorce case and are committed to providing compassionate support and reliable guidance to you. By building strong relationships based on integrity, transparency, and professionalism, our legal team earns the trust and confidence of our clients, fostering long-term partnerships built on mutual respect and understanding.

In divorce and family law, expertise and recognition play pivotal roles in establishing credibility and trust. Learn more about the extensive combined legal experience of our esteemed legal team, the accolades and recognitions garnered in the field of family law for excellence, and the acknowledgment of our top legal professionals within the industry.

Our legal team boasts a wealth of experience accumulated over years of dedicated service in divorce and family law. Each member brings a unique perspective and skill set to the table, contributing to a formidable collective expertise that sets us apart. With backgrounds ranging from corporate law to civil rights advocacy, our team is equipped to handle a diverse range of legal matters with precision and care.

Awards and Recognition in Family Law for Excellence

Our commitment to excellence in family law has not gone unnoticed. Our firm has been honored with prestigious awards and accolades that underscore our dedication to providing top-tier legal services in matters concerning families and relationships. From being recognized for innovative approaches to child custody cases to receiving accolades for pro bono work benefiting underprivileged families, our commitment to the well-being of our clients is at the core of every recognition we receive.

The legal industry is competitive, but our top legal professionals have consistently stood out for their exceptional contributions and unwavering commitment to upholding the highest standards of legal practice. Their recognition within the industry serves as a testament to our expertise and dedication to the pursuit of justice. Whether it’s being featured in leading legal publications for groundbreaking cases or being invited as keynote speakers at prestigious legal conferences, our professionals continue to make a mark in the legal landscape.

Expertise and recognition are not just accolades for us; they are a reflection of our unwavering dedication to the legal profession and the clients we serve. As we look to the future, we remain committed to pushing boundaries, advocating for justice, and setting new standards of excellence in the legal field.

Some of our professional accreditations include:

  • 10 Best American Institute of Family Law Attorneys
  • Avvo 10 out of 10 Top Attorney
  • Avvo Clients’ Choice Award
  • Bethpage Best of Long Island
  • Lead Council
  • Super Lawyers
  • Martindale Hubble Preeminent peer rating for highest level of achievement
Robert Hornberger is an outstanding attorney. He is professional, intelligent and an excellent communicator. He relates well to his clients. He is personable and easy to approach. I feel totally comfortable discussing all aspects of my divorce with him. Mr. Hornberger ‘s response time is impeccable. He gives 100 percent to his clients,100 percent of the time. Mr. Hornberger and his legal team prepare his strategy with a level of skill and expertise that is superior to all others. I feel confident knowing that he is representing me in my divorce. I would without hesitation recommend Robert Hornberger to anyone going through the difficult time of a divorce. He is bar none the best out there….. THE BEST!!!

~Susan Burnett

Navigating the legal system, especially in matters as sensitive as divorce and child custody, can be a daunting task. Having the best divorce lawyers near me by your side can make all the difference in ensuring a smoother process and a more favorable outcome.

Importance of the Best Divorce Lawyers Near You in Divorce Proceedings

Divorce proceedings involve a myriad of legal complexities that can easily overwhelm an individual. From asset division to spousal support agreements, having the best divorce lawyers near me can help you navigate these intricacies with expertise. An experienced legal representative can ensure that your rights are protected, and that your final settlement is fair and just.

The Best Divorce Lawyers Address Contempt of Court Actions Effectively

In some divorce cases, one party may fail to comply with court orders, leading to contempt of court actions. This can have serious consequences, including fines or even imprisonment. the best divorce lawyers near me can help address contempt of court issues effectively, either by negotiating a resolution or representing you in court to defend against false accusations.

The Best Divorce Lawyers Negotiate Child Custody and Support Agreements

Child custody and support agreements are often the most emotionally charged aspects of a divorce. the best divorce lawyers can advocate for your parental rights and work toward securing a custody arrangement that is in the best interests of the child and protects your rights to be involved in their lives. Additionally, we can assist in negotiating fair child support agreements that consider the child’s needs while also being financially feasible for both parties.

Divorce mediation is a valuable tool in resolving legal disputes, especially in family law matters. It offers a more amicable and cost-effective alternative to traditional litigation. Our skilled mediators can help you and your spouse communicate effectively, identify common ground, and reach mutually beneficial agreements. If you and your spouse are on amicable terms, by opting for mediation, you can resolve some outstanding issues while maintaining more control over the outcome of your case and often achieve faster resolutions.

Before embarking on any legal process, seeking a legal consultation is critical. A legal consultation with the best divorce lawyer near you will allow you to understand your rights, assess the strengths and weaknesses of your case, and explore potential legal strategies for success. This initial step can significantly impact the trajectory of a legal matter, ensuring that you are well-informed and prepared for the road ahead.

Technology plays a significant role in modern legal practice, streamlining processes, enhancing communication, and improving access to legal services. From virtual court hearings to online document management systems, today’s technology has revolutionized the way the best divorce lawyers near you operate. Embracing technological advancements can lead to increased efficiency, reduced costs, and better client experiences in the legal field.

Navigating the legal system requires expertise, strategy, and support. By partnering with a trusted legal team like Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C., you can navigate legal challenges with confidence and achieve favorable outcomes. From divorce proceedings to child custody disputes, having knowledgeable legal professionals on your side can make a significant difference in the resolution of your legal matters.

The Best Divorce Lawyers Ensure Client Satisfaction and Trust

Client satisfaction and trust are paramount to every case we take on. As legal professionals, it is important to us to establish a strong rapport with our clients and provide them with the assurance that their interests are being safeguarded. The following section delves into the various strategies we utilize and benefits these afford you to ensuring your satisfaction and trust.

One of the key aspects of fostering strong client satisfaction is our ability to offer personalized legal strategies that are tailored to meet the unique needs of each client. By taking the time to understand the specific circumstances and objectives of your case, our legal professionals can craft strategies that address your concerns effectively. This personalized approach not only demonstrates a commitment to the your case but also instills a sense of trust and confidence in our legal representation.

The Best Divorce Lawyers Near You Protect Client Interests Throughout Proceedings

Divorce cases are often emotionally charged and complex, requiring a delicate balance of legal expertise and empathy. In such situations, ensuring client satisfaction involves not only providing sound legal advice but also offering emotional support and guidance. By prioritizing the protection of your interests and advocating on your behalf during divorce proceedings, the best divorce lawyers near me can help alleviate the stress and uncertainty you may initially experience.

Benefits of Experienced the Best Divorce Lawyers Near You in Divorce Cases

When it comes to divorce cases, the value of the best divorce lawyers near me cannot be overstated. Seasoned attorneys bring a wealth of knowledge and expertise to the table, enabling them to navigate the intricacies of divorce law with confidence. By leveraging our experience, our legal professionals can anticipate challenges, devise effective strategies, and ultimately secure a favorable outcome for you. This track record of success not only enhances client satisfaction but also solidifies trust in our legal representation.

The Best Divorce Lawyers Near You Build Long-Term Client Relationships

Beyond the immediate legal proceedings, fostering client satisfaction and trust involves building long-term relationships based on transparency, communication, and results. We cultivate trust by maintaining open lines of communication, keeping our clients informed at every stage of the process, not making false promises and delivering on the promises we do make. By demonstrating a consistent dedication to your success and well-being, we consistently establish ourselves as trusted advisors and advocates.

The Best Divorce Lawyers Near You Practice Continuous Education and Improvement

To ensure ongoing client satisfaction and trust, the best divorce lawyers near me must commit to continuous education and improvement. Staying abreast of the latest legal developments, honing skills through training and professional development opportunities, and seeking feedback from clients and colleagues are essential steps in maintaining high standards of service. By demonstrating a commitment to growth and excellence, our attorneys instill confidence in our clients and reinforce trust in our legal expertise.

The pillars of client satisfaction and trust in the legal profession rest on personalized strategies, unwavering advocacy, experienced counsel, long-term relationship building, and a commitment to continuous improvement. By embodying these principles, our legal professionals can not only meet but exceed our clients’ expectations, fostering lasting trust, and mutual success.

Best divorce lawyer on Long Island divorce lawyer near me

Choosing the Best Divorce Lawyer Near You for Your Divorce Case

Select an Experienced Divorce Lawyer for Representation.

When facing the challenging process of divorce, it is imperative to choose the best divorce lawyers near you to represent you. A seasoned attorney specializing in family law can significantly impact the outcome of your case. Look for a lawyer with a proven track record in handling divorce cases, as their expertise and knowledge of the legal system can be invaluable in protecting your rights and securing a favorable resolution for you.

In divorce, each case is unique and requires personalized legal attention to address individual needs effectively. the best divorce lawyers near you prioritize understanding your specific situation so they can offer tailored solutions and strategies to navigate the complexities of your case. By fostering a close attorney-client relationship, we can ensure that your concerns are heard and that your legal representation is aligned with your goals.

The Best Divorce Lawyers Near You Ensure Comprehensive Protection of Your Interests

The best divorce lawyers near you team will go above and beyond to safeguard your interests throughout the divorce proceedings. From skillfully negotiating settlements to advocating for you in court, we will work tirelessly to secure a fair and just outcome for you. By entrusting your case to a competent legal team, you can rest assured that your rights will be protected, and your best interests will be at the forefront of every decision made.

Divorce is not only a legal process but also an emotional journey that can be overwhelming. The best divorce lawyers near you can provide not only legal guidance but also emotional support during this trying time. By having a supportive legal advocate by your side, you can feel empowered to make informed decisions and face the future with confidence.

The Best Divorce Lawyers Near You Embrace Alternative Dispute Resolution Methods

In some divorce cases, traditional litigation may not be the most suitable option. the best divorce lawyers near you will explore alternative dispute resolution methods such as mediation or collaborative law to help you reach amicable solutions outside of court. By promoting cooperation and communication, these methods can lead to quicker resolutions and reduce the emotional and financial toll of prolonged litigation.

Choosing the Best Divorce Lawyer Near You is Critical to Your Success

Choosing the best divorce lawyers near you for your divorce case is a critical step in ensuring a smooth and successful resolution. By selecting a skilled and dedicated attorney who prioritizes your needs, you can navigate the complexities of divorce with confidence and peace of mind. Remember, your choice of legal representation can profoundly impact the outcome of your case, so take the time to find a legal team that aligns with your values and goals.

When facing the complexities of a divorce case, having a trusted and experienced legal team by your side can make all the difference. Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. stands out as a valuable resource for individuals in Nassau County and Suffolk County seeking expert guidance in divorce and family law matters on Long Island, NY. With a focus on personalized service, a compassionate approach, and a commitment to protecting our clients’ rights, we offer a comprehensive range of services tailored to meet the unique needs of each case. For those navigating divorce or family law issues on Long Island, exploring the expertise of Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. could be the first step toward a favorable resolution and moving on in a positive direction for the rest of your life. For more information and free consultation and case evaluation, call us at 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form on this page.

GET YOUR FREE CONSULTATION TODAY Call 631-923-1910 or fill in the form below

Horberger Verbitsky, P.C. partners Robert E. Hornberger, Esq. and Christine M. Verbitsky, Esq.

Horberger Verbitsky, P.C. partners Robert E. Hornberger, Esq. and Christine M. Verbitsky, Esq.

Get your complimentary consultation and case evaluation with our experienced attorneys today. Your attorney will describe the many options available and determine together which is the right solution for you. By the end of this  conversation, we’ll all understand how we can best help you to move forward.

No Cost or Obligation

There is no cost or obligation for this initial consultation. It is simply an opportunity for us to get to know each other, answer your questions and learn if Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. is right the right law firm for you. Give us a call at 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form below for your free consultation and case evaluation. All Fields Are Required

About the Author

Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., Founding Partner, Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.

  • Over 20 years practicing matrimonial law
  • Over 1,000 cases successfully resolved
  • Founder and Partner of Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.
  • Experienced and compassionate Long Island Divorce Attorney, Family Law Attorney, and Divorce Mediator
  • Licensed to practice law in the State of New York
  • New York State Bar Association member
  • Nassau County Bar Association member
  • Suffolk County Bar Association member
  • “Super Lawyer” Metro Rising Star
  • Nominated Best of Long Island Divorce Attorney four consecutive years
  • Alternative Dispute Resolution Committee Contributor
  • Collaborative Law Association of New York – Former Director
  • Martindale Hubbell Distinguished Designation
  • America’s Most Honored Professionals – Top 5%
  • Lead Counsel Rated – Divorce Law
  • American Institute of Family Law Attorneys 10 Best
  • International Academy of Collaborative Professionals
  • Graduate of Hofstra University School of Law
  • Double Bachelor’s degrees in Philosophy, Politics & Law and History from SUNY Binghamton University
  • Full Robert E. Hornberger, Esq. Bio

RECOGNIZED FOR EXCELLENCE BY:

10 Best Family Law Attorney Award 2022 - American Institute of Family Law Attorneys
Avvo 10.0 Rating - Robert Eugene Hornberger Top Divorce Attorney
Super Lawyers Rising Stars - Robert E. Hornberger
5-Star Avvo Reviews – Robert Eugene Hornberger
Lead Counsel Verified Family Law Attorney Badge
Avvo Clients’ Choice Award 2020 – Robert Eugene Hornberger
Lead Counsel Rated Attorney – Verified Professional Distinction
Distinguished Peer Rating 2023 – High Professional Achievement


Google Reviews for Robert Hornberger, Divorce Attorney


Successful Divorce Strategies Free eBook



Child Support & Spousal Maintenance Tools
Spousal Maintenance Calculator
Child Support Calculator
Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. respects your right to privacy. We will never sell your information to any third party. Follow this link to read our full privacy policy.

Spouse Preventing You from Hiring the Attorney You Want?

Spouse Preventing You from Hiring the Attorney You Want?

Spouse Preventing You from Hiring the Attorney You Want?

Is Your Ex ‘Conflicting Out’ Attorneys from You?

You and your ex are on the path to divorce, but every attorney you speak to says they cannot help you because there’s a conflict with them representing you? What is happening?

It’s a dirty, underhand divorce trick that makes it more difficult for you to work with the best Long Island, NY divorce attorneys. This divorce tactic is called “conflicting out”, and it can make it very difficult for you to get the legal help you need.

Free New York Divorce Lawyer Consultation

What Does ‘Conflicting Out’ Mean?

Conflicting out means that your ex has contacted an attorney, often sharing some or a significant amount of the divorce details with that attorney. Once they do that, there’s a level of attorney-client privilege present. If you approach that same attorney requesting legal assistance, the attorney cannot represent you. Doing so could create a conflict of interest. This conflicting out trick can seriously hurt a person’s right to fair legal representation.

Some spouses may call all of the best divorce lawyers in Long Island, NY, simply in spite of you. All they need to share with the attorney is enough personal information to establish that attorney-client relationship. They choose one to ultimately work with, but because they’ve spoken to so many (or even all) of the divorce attorneys on Long Island, it makes it impossible for you to get help.

What to Do If You’ve Been Conflicted Out

It’s frustrating and limiting, but there are some strategies to help you if your spouse attempts to use this trick. Remember, it’s not the attorney’s fault because they are bound by the law. Although we do not charge for consultations because we believe it’s important to find the divorce attorney that best matches with you, this “conflicting out” process is one of the reasons many attorneys charge for consultations. Your spouse is less likely to set up multiple consultations if they have to pay for them. We can help you get legal guidance through all stages of divorce.

Keep Proof and Present it to the Judge

One of the most impactful ways you can turn this around on your spouse is simply to collect the data from each attorney, document it in any way possible, and present it to the divorce court. You could keep a list of each attorney you call who tells you that they cannot represent you due to a conflict of interest.

Then, show that this has hurt you. Having this evidence may prove abusive behavior by your ex. The divorce attorneys at Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. would never encourage our clients to employ this divorce tactic.

Seek out a Divorce Attorney on Long Island, NY Immediately

This is one of the reasons we recommend that you contact a reputable divorce attorney immediately upon discovering, or even suspecting that your spouse may be seeking a divorce.

Yes, it may be hard to do this if most of the best attorneys on Long Island, NY have been conflicted out. However, finding any person who can take your case is critical. This is a complex element of divorce law when it comes to proving to the court that this abuse took place.

Do not wait until you have all of the evidence possible to use against your spouse. Keep moving forward until you find an attorney who can represent you. Of course, we encourage you to contact us first, but there are many reputable divorce attorneys on Long Island, NY that can take your case.

Is Your Spouse Engaging in Other Abusive Divorce Tactics?

At Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C., we take all abusive actions like this very seriously. It puts your rights on the line, and that is something we fight heavily against. The conflicting out tactic is often just one form of abuse from attorneys. Others may include:

  • Money control making it impossible for you to get legal support
  • Social media post abuse or contacting you in private messages with hateful or painful statements
  • Publicly shaming you
  • Controlling your relationship with family members
  • Manipulation of your friends, relatives and children, including parental alienation
  • Malicious parent syndrome aimed at tarnishing your reputation

If you have been abused in any way by your ex or you are struggling to find an attorney because of conflicting out, call us. Do not let an ex bully you.

Allow our highly skilled, compassionate, and aggressive legal team to work to protect your rights to legal support. Take a moment to check out our book, “Successful Divorce Strategies,” which incorporates positive resolution strategies and helpful methods to get through your divorce without abusive practices.

Set Up a Consultation and Case Evaluation with Our Divorce Attorneys Now

Our experienced attorneys are ready to fight for you. It starts with a thorough case evaluation where we can discuss any and all of the strategies your ex is employing to limit your ability to start over. Our attorneys are caring and compassionate because we know what can happen.

Call us for a no-cost, no-obligation consultation. Put Hornberger Verbitsky P.C. to work for you now. Call 631-923-1910 to speak to our Long Island, NY divorce lawyers.

GET YOUR FREE CONSULTATION TODAY
Call 631-923-1910 or fill in the form below

Get your complimentary consultation and case evaluation with our experienced attorneys today.

Your attorney will describe the many options available and determine together which is the right solution for you. By the end of this  conversation, we’ll all understand how we can best help you to move forward.

No Cost or Obligation

There is no cost or obligation for this initial consultation. It is simply an opportunity for us to get to know each other, answer your questions and learn if Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. is right the right law firm for you. Give us a call at 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form below for your free consultation and case evaluation.

All Fields Are Required

About the Author

Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., Founding Partner, Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.

  • Over 20 years practicing matrimonial law
  • Over 1,000 cases successfully resolved
  • Founder and Partner of Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.
  • Experienced and compassionate Long Island Divorce Attorney, Family Law Attorney, and Divorce Mediator
  • Licensed to practice law in the State of New York
  • New York State Bar Association member
  • Nassau County Bar Association member
  • Suffolk County Bar Association member
  • “Super Lawyer” Metro Rising Star
  • Nominated Best of Long Island Divorce Attorney four consecutive years
  • Alternative Dispute Resolution Committee Contributor
  • Collaborative Law Association of New York – Former Director
  • Martindale Hubbell Distinguished Designation
  • America’s Most Honored Professionals – Top 5%
  • Lead Counsel Rated – Divorce Law
  • American Institute of Family Law Attorneys 10 Best
  • International Academy of Collaborative Professionals
  • Graduate of Hofstra University School of Law
  • Double Bachelor’s degrees in Philosophy, Politics & Law and History from SUNY Binghamton University
  • Full Robert E. Hornberger, Esq. Bio

RECOGNIZED FOR EXCELLENCE BY:

10 Best Family Law Attorney Award 2022 - American Institute of Family Law Attorneys
Avvo 10.0 Rating - Robert Eugene Hornberger Top Divorce Attorney
Super Lawyers Rising Stars - Robert E. Hornberger
5-Star Avvo Reviews – Robert Eugene Hornberger
Lead Counsel Verified Family Law Attorney Badge
Avvo Clients’ Choice Award 2020 – Robert Eugene Hornberger
Lead Counsel Rated Attorney – Verified Professional Distinction
Distinguished Peer Rating 2023 – High Professional Achievement


Google Reviews for Robert Hornberger, Divorce Attorney


Successful Divorce Strategies Free eBook



Child Support & Spousal Maintenance Tools
Spousal Maintenance Calculator
Child Support Calculator
Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. respects your right to privacy. We will never sell your information to any third party. Follow this link to read our full privacy policy.

Your Guide to an Emotionally Intelligent Divorce in NY

Your Guide to an Emotionally Intelligent Divorce in NY

Your Guide to an Emotionally Intelligent Divorce in NY

There’s no doubt that divorce is an emotionally charged event, no matter what side of the fence you’re on. Whether you’re the one initiating the divorce, or you were caught blindsided by your spouse’s divorce request, or even if you mutually agree that the divorce is the best course forward, it’s always an emotional event to recognize that what you once thought would be forever is going to end. No matter how long you have been together it can be difficult to imagine the rest of your life without the other person in it, even if you want it that way. For all the practical matters of divorce that have to be resolved, it is extremely difficult to take the emotions out of the equation.

But the fact of the matter is, there are some very important practical matters that have to be dealt with and the more emotional you or your spouse are, the less rational you become and this can definitely hurt you in the long run as you deal with the practical matters of divorce. It is seriously in your best interests to aim for an “emotionally intelligent” Long Island, NY divorce. Here’s what that means and how you can get there.

Free New York Divorce Lawyer Consultation

What Is an Emotionally Intelligent Divorce?

Emotional intelligence is a term that refers to a person’s ability to recognize their own emotions and express them in healthy ways. People who are emotionally intelligent have an abundance of empathy and are able to navigate relationships with other people more easily.

Instead of an angry, contentious, or jealous divorce, an emotionally intelligent one aims to resolve the dissolution of marriage with rational, well-thought out actions. Negative emotions are well-regulated in this type of divorce and both spouses are usually committed to processing their feelings with a therapist instead of taking it out on each other throughout the divorce process.

Components Of an Emotionally Intelligent Divorce

When your divorce goes smoothly, everyone benefits – especially your kids, if you have them. An emotionally intelligent separation allows you to work toward solutions that are in everyone’s best interests and helps keep exhausting fighting and expensive litigation to a minimum. Here are some of the main components of an emotionally intelligent divorce:

Emotional Awareness

Emotional awareness is the ability to understand and name your own emotions. Contrary to popular belief, this isn’t a skill people are born with – it has to be learned. If you struggle to describe how you feel or to put words to what you’re experiencing emotionally, you may need more help developing this awareness. An experienced therapist can help you process and express your feelings during this traumatic time

Empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand the emotions of other people and appreciate the position they’re in or what they might be going through. For some people, their sense of empathy is innately very strong. For others, it too is a skill that needs to be developed.

In an emotionally intelligent divorce, both spouses are able to go beyond their own feelings about the separation and empathize with the other. This allows them to better explore resolutions that benefit everyone and to release feelings of vindictiveness and revenge. If you can understand and express what your partner may be feeling, you are in a better position to work with them to resolve your differences in a mutually beneficial way.

Emotional Regulation

Emotional regulation is a core aspect of emotional intelligence in every context, especially when it comes to divorce. Even though child custody, property division or alimony disagreements may make you feel enraged or distraught, good emotional intelligence allows you to better process and regulate those emotions without lashing out at your spouse in an effort to hurt them. Lashing out will likely only put your spouse on the defensive, make them dig in their heels and escalate your disagreements.

For example, if you’re angry at your ex for having a new partner, you could go to the gym or out for a run to give you some physical relief from the adrenaline. What you shouldn’t do is try to get back at them by using mechanisms of your divorce, like being late to pick up your kids for visitation to inconvenience your ex.

Rational Actions

When a divorce is emotionally intelligent, the actions of both spouses are rational and well thought out. Neither is out to cause damage to the other and both are comfortable taking enough time to work through whatever feelings they have about a situation before making a decision.

Dissolving a marriage is a difficult process and the choices you make now can impact you and your family members for many years after the divorce agreement is signed. It’s imperative that your decisions are logical and aren’t made from a place of hurt, jealousy, or anger.

While considering and processing those feelings is important, you don’t want to act on them when you’re in an emotional state. Instead, choices are made based on observable fact and what’s best for all the people involved.

How To Get an Emotionally Intelligent Long Island, NY Divorce

The first step to creating an environment where you can have an emotionally intelligent divorce is contacting a qualified and experienced Long Island, NY divorce attorney. An experienced lawyer can help you understand the complexities of New York family law and will guide you through the process step by step, so you can reach the most beneficial resolution for the least amount of time, expense and hassle.

Contact Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. today to learn how to protect your family’s best interests throughout the divorce process by calling 631-923-1910 or filling out the short form on this page. Our team will schedule your free initial consultation and case evaluation where you can get answers to your important legal questions to help you move forward.

GET YOUR FREE CONSULTATION TODAY
Call 631-923-1910 or fill in the form below

Get your complimentary consultation and case evaluation with our experienced attorneys today.

Your attorney will describe the many options available and determine together which is the right solution for you. By the end of this  conversation, we’ll all understand how we can best help you to move forward.

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There is no cost or obligation for this initial consultation. It is simply an opportunity for us to get to know each other, answer your questions and learn if Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. is right the right law firm for you. Give us a call at 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form below for your free consultation and case evaluation.

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About the Author

Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., Founding Partner, Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.

  • Over 20 years practicing matrimonial law
  • Over 1,000 cases successfully resolved
  • Founder and Partner of Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C.
  • Experienced and compassionate Long Island Divorce Attorney, Family Law Attorney, and Divorce Mediator
  • Licensed to practice law in the State of New York
  • New York State Bar Association member
  • Nassau County Bar Association member
  • Suffolk County Bar Association member
  • “Super Lawyer” Metro Rising Star
  • Nominated Best of Long Island Divorce Attorney four consecutive years
  • Alternative Dispute Resolution Committee Contributor
  • Collaborative Law Association of New York – Former Director
  • Martindale Hubbell Distinguished Designation
  • America’s Most Honored Professionals – Top 5%
  • Lead Counsel Rated – Divorce Law
  • American Institute of Family Law Attorneys 10 Best
  • International Academy of Collaborative Professionals
  • Graduate of Hofstra University School of Law
  • Double Bachelor’s degrees in Philosophy, Politics & Law and History from SUNY Binghamton University
  • Full Robert E. Hornberger, Esq. Bio

RECOGNIZED FOR EXCELLENCE BY:

10 Best Family Law Attorney Award 2022 - American Institute of Family Law Attorneys
Avvo 10.0 Rating - Robert Eugene Hornberger Top Divorce Attorney
Super Lawyers Rising Stars - Robert E. Hornberger
5-Star Avvo Reviews – Robert Eugene Hornberger
Lead Counsel Verified Family Law Attorney Badge
Avvo Clients’ Choice Award 2020 – Robert Eugene Hornberger
Lead Counsel Rated Attorney – Verified Professional Distinction
Distinguished Peer Rating 2023 – High Professional Achievement


Google Reviews for Robert Hornberger, Divorce Attorney


Successful Divorce Strategies Free eBook



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