As a Long Island divorce mediator and divorce attorney, I see that it is not uncommon for spouses going through a divorce in Nassau County and Suffolk County to struggle to communicate effectively with one another. (more…)
As a Long Island Divorce Mediator and Family Law Attorney, my experience has shown that for Nassau County and Suffolk County couples who can communicate amicably, divorce mediation is the least expensive least stressful, and quickest method of ending a marriage and moving on with their lives. (more…)
As a Long Island divorce mediator and divorce attorney, I always look for the best solution to legally resolve my clients marital status. By “best”, I mean the one that will allow them to move forward with their lives as individuals with the least stress, least economic impact (least expensive) and in the least amount of time (which translates to less cost and stress as well). In cases where the spouses are able to communicate effectively and negotiate the terms of their divorce, this is often divorce mediation as opposed to divorce litigation.
If you are considering a divorce, or in the middle of a divorce in New York, you may be wondering about divorce mediation and whether there are any benefits of mediation over an adversarial divorce proceeding. A divorce attorney in Nassau County or Suffolk County may be able to help you get through your divorce with more confidence and less stress and less expense by utilizing divorce mediation rather than divorce litigation in a courtroom in Nassau County of Suffolk County.
The end of a marriage can be an unimaginably stressful time and can rock the worlds of the spouses and children involved. The process of divorce raises questions about division of property and rights that the couple never imagined as potential issues. Divorce litigation can become a battle of the wills. It is not uncommon that two people who once loved each other can become bitter and threatening, resulting in an extended tug of war that lasts longer than their courtship before marriage.
Divorce mediation on Long Island is an excellent method of reducing the time, cost, and stress involved in a Nassau County or Suffolk County divorce. The differences between mediation and litigation can be tremendous. Divorce mediation allows both spouses to come before a neutral, skilled divorce mediator whose goal is to address questions, concerns and assist the parties in coming to an agreement. The divorce mediator will help the both spouses learn to identify, address and successfully resolve the legal matters which are presented by their divorce in a non-confrontational or threatening way. Issues such as child custody and care, division of assets, financial support and many others are often best resolved in a cooperative, goal oriented atmosphere rather than by an adversarial fight. Furthermore, because a divorce mediator does not represent either spouse, he or she has all the tools to help couples facing a divorce in Nassau County or Suffolk County come to a mutual agreement while saving time and money.
Divorce mediation can be a far less stressful process than divorce litigation. In a neutral setting, the parties can work out the details of the divorce agreement and maintain some control over the outcome, rather than having two opposing divorce attorneys battle it out in court. Parties are often surprised how many details can be worked out in a mutually agreeable fashion in divorce mediation.
Of course, divorce is never pleasant, and mediation cannot take the emotional pain away. However, mediation can greatly reduce the amount of stress placed upon the family by offering a supportive and cooperative forum for problem solving. Parties are assisted in maintaining a smart, practical state of mind in the decision-making and compromise process, rather than allowing resentment and other emotions get the best of them. The goal of mediation is to come to an agreement by which both parties can successfully move forward with their lives after this life-changing event. Children of the couple are also great beneficiaries of this method of divorce as their parents are not at each other’s throats during the divorce, which leads to better communication regarding child-rearing after the divorce.
For example, the care and custody of the children can be especially difficult for parties to agree upon. Common sense may indicate that the best interests of the children would be found in reaching a mutually agreeable plan, but parents are often unwilling to budge in this area. A Divorce Mediator in Nassau County or Suffolk County may be able to reframe the issue within the framework of smart parenting and the children’s best interests, and shift the focus away from divorce adversaries who each want to “win.” In fact, if the parents go through divorce litigation, the outcome will be completely unpredictable, and a judge will tell them when and for how long they can see their children. If parties are able to use reason and compromise as tools to support the post-divorce family, they will have far more control over the outcome. Usually, this results in a more peaceful and balanced set of circumstances for the parents, children and extended family after the divorce is finalized.
On the contrary, contested divorce litigation places the decision making in the hands of a Nassau County of Suffolk County court. The parties each present their case through a trusted attorney, and then must surrender control to the hands of the judge to determine what is best for their family. An adversarial divorce proceeding usually results in increased costs, litigation, a lengthier process, loss of privacy in some sensitive matters, and can have unpredictable results, all in addition to the pain of a broken marriage.
There are no winners in divorce litigation. Even if one party receives greater financial or child custody results in court, that party still must face the post-divorce family dynamic, especially if there are children involved. Divorcees often realize that, after all is said and done, the family would have better been served by care and consideration for each family member, including the ex-spouse. Learning to engage in divorce mediation in the context of divorce can set the tone for future family interactions that may be inevitable throughout the parties’ lifetimes. Even if you feel there is only a slight possibility that litigation can be avoided in your particular divorce circumstances, mediation is certainly worth a try.
To learn more about Divorce Mediators on Long Island and how they can save you time, money and stress, visit this page: Divorce Mediator Long Island | Nassau County & Suffolk County. A Long Island divorce mediator who is also a divorce attorney can best help you decide if divorce mediation or divorce litigation is the best route to end your marriage while protecting your and your family’s rights and interests. Reach out to the Law Offices of Robert E. Hornberger, Esq. at 631-923-1910 for a free confidential consultation, or fill out the form on this page and we’ll get right back to you.
Our 41-page “Guide to New York Divorce: What You Need to Know Before Hiring a Divorce Lawyer in New York” written by an experienced divorce lawyer Long Island’s Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., provides you with real information on the divorce process and the laws it rests upon in the state of New York. This book will help give you a solid foundation upon which you can begin the process of making your family’s, life better. Download your Free Guide to New York Divorce here.
A divorce in Nassau County or Suffolk County on Long Island does not have to be adversarial; it does not even have to involve stepping one foot into a courtroom. If you and your spouse can work together and are seeking a Long Island divorce without the time, expense and stress of judges, lawyers and monthly court conferences, the best avenue for you is likely divorce mediation. It will save you time, money and stress on you and your family. Your divorce will be settled faster, less expensively and with much less anxiety and acrimony than if you litigate your divorce in a Nassau County or Suffolk County courtroom.
Divorce Mediation, Long Island’s Robert E. Hornberger, Esq. explains, is a process in which you and your spouse will mutually agree upon an individual (often, but not always, a Long Island divorce lawyer) to help mediate your divorce. This amicable process allows you and your spouse to maintain a healthy relationship during, and after, your Long Island divorce.
Different entities offer different programs for divorce mediation on Long Island. However, most typically offer sessions in two (2) hour time frames. Depending upon the complexity of your divorce and the issues to be resolved, you may opt to participate in one (1) two-hour divorce mediation session, or two (2) two-hour sessions. The process is completely individualized to work best with the wants and needs of you and your spouse. If you are aware you and your spouse may enter into an agreement that strays from the norm, consider contacting a divorce mediator on Long Island to work out an agreement that will work for you and your spouse.
During your divorce mediation session, your mediator, who may or may not be a divorce attorney, will educate you and your spouse of the state of the law as it pertains to your divorce. It is important to be aware that the mediator does not represent you or your spouse, and he or she is not permitted to give you legal advice. In other words, your divorce mediator cannot tell you if you are making a bad deal. He or she is there to help you and your spouse come to an agreement on the particulars of your divorce in an amicable, non-confrontational way and to make sure all the legal Ts are crossed and the Is dotted in your final divorce agreement. If you have any concerns about the agreement you have worked out with your divorce mediator, you are free to retain an independent attorney to review the agreement before you sign it. As a Long Island divorce attorney, I have reviewed numerous mediated divorce agreements for clients and sent back requests for comments and revisions to the mediator.
A divorce mediator cannot mediate your Long Island Divorce without the consent of both you and your spouse. In my experience, this is the only difficult aspect of divorce mediation, as you and your spouse may have difficulties in agreeing upon whose services to utilize. You may interview one or 20 divorce mediators before you find one who suits you, but in order for the process to work effectively you must both be comfortable with your mediator. Additionally, if you meet with the mediator individually prior to bringing your spouse, the mediator must inform your spouse of your initial meeting. If you are looking for an expert in divorce mediation, Long Island’s most reliable choice is Robert E. Hornberger, Esq.
One of the benefits of divorce mediation is the absence of two divorce attorneys fighting each other for the rights of their clients. While this can be necessary in complex, adversarial divorces it necessarily drives up the cost and length of time to complete the divorce. While not all divorce mediators are attorneys, some Long Island Divorce Attorneys, myself included, also act as divorce mediators. Your desire to avoid attorneys may have drawn you to divorce mediation, but having a divorce attorney as your mediator should not cause you concern.
Your divorce mediator’s only role is to inform you and your spouse of the law and to assist you in reaching a mutually agreed upon divorce settlement. Having an experienced and practicing divorce attorney as your divorce mediator offers you the benefit of ensuring they are current with regard to all the applicable laws surrounding your divorce on Long Island. If the mediator’s sole purpose is to inform you of the law, wouldn’t you want a divorce mediator who is skilled in that applicable area of law?
Long Island’s Robert E. Hornberger, Esq. often tells clients with children that if they do not agree on the issue of child custody, mediating their divorce may not be simple. Divorce mediation requires the parties to cooperate and mutually reach an agreement. Because the cost of your mediation is based upon the time you spend with your mediator, it is best for you if the most difficult issues are agreed upon before-hand your session/s with your mediator. It is easy to mediate which party will retain the dining room furniture, but it can take the entire two (2) sessions to mediate which party will have residential custody of the children.
In fact, if you and your spouse already have a settlement agreement, or you have a general idea of a settlement agreement, you are the perfect mediation clients. In such instances you may even require only one (1) session, and the terms of your divorce can be finalized in as little as two (2) hours.
To learn more about Divorce Mediation on Long Island and how it can save you time, money and stress, visit this page: How Divorce Mediation Works and its Benefits for Families in Nassau, Suffolk, Long Island. If you have questions about whether divorce mediation is right for you and your spouse, consult with an experienced Long Island divorce mediator and attorney. Long Island’s Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., PC’s compassionate and experienced divorce mediators can help. Call us at 631-923-1910 for a complimentary, confidential consultation or fill out the short form on this page and we’ll get right back to you.
For more information, visit our Comprehensive Guide to Long Island Divorce Mediation.
If you and your soon to be ex-spouse have decided to use divorce mediation as your method of divorce resolution you both may be wondering what role, if any, a divorce attorney plays in the mediation itself. You are not required to have a divorce attorney mediate your divorce, but you and your partner may decide to hire divorce attorneys to assist you both in the process of divorce mediation if your mediator is not also a divorce attorney. Because you know that you and your partner control the negotiating process during divorce mediation, you may be wondering what role, if any, a divorce attorney can play throughout the process.
Before you and your partner even decide upon divorce mediation, either one, or both, of you may have consulted a divorce attorney. If you are considering the idea of using a divorce attorney in addition to your divorce mediator, it is best to consult this attorney in the beginning stages of the process. The divorce attorney can fully explain what divorce mediation is and what it entails, which may make it easier (or more difficult) to choose mediation. If your divorce attorney is not practiced in divorce mediation, he or she may also be able to recommend divorce mediators, however, you should be aware that divorce attorneys who are not also divorce mediators are more likely to steer you away from divorce mediation simply to earn your business for their practice.
If you do consult a divorce attorney during the initial stages of your divorce mediation, you may wish to keep this divorce attorney throughout the entire process. This attorney may advise you of the law in certain areas, help you review any agreement before you sign it, and eventually prepare the final documents that will be entered with the court so your divorce can be legalized.
Of great importance during the divorce mediation process is the fact that the divorce attorney should not speak for you or your partner. Rather the divorce attorney is present during the mediation as an advisor and support system. If you find yourself confused about parts of the mediation agreement or are undecided about what may be the right decision, you have the option to discuss the matter with the divorce attorney in private. He or she may make suggestions or just simply serve as a listening ear for you to discuss the issue aloud with someone and hopefully be able to reach a conclusion with which to go back to the mediation. Additionally, you may be willing to enter into agreements during the mediation without realization of the risks involved. The divorce attorney is able to explain these risks to you, and help you weigh them against the benefits to make the best decision possible.
Once you have decided to hire a divorce attorney to assist you during your mediation process, you may naturally be wondering if he or she will attend every mediation session with you. Like most other decisions during the divorce mediation process, this is a personal choice that you will discuss with your divorce attorney. Keep in mind that your divorce attorney will need to be compensated for his or her time, so the more sessions your divorce attorney has to attend, the larger your legal bill.
If you feel confident in your wants and desires and your ability to clearly communicate these to your partner and the mediator, you may decide to speak to your divorce attorney only before and after the mediation sessions. On the other hand, if you feel as though you may get overwhelmed and need to step out of the room and have someone there to talk with so you can vocalize your thoughts, you may decide to have your divorce attorney accompany you to every divorce mediation session. However, if your divorce lawyer does attend the mediation, it is important to remember that he or she is not there to participate in and make arguments for you. Rather, he or she is there solely for guidance and support, and as a potential legal advisor.
If your divorce mediator is not a divorce attorney, once you and your partner reach an agreement in your mediation, your attorney will review that agreement, and potentially prepare the finalized documents for the court. This way, you will be reassured that the agreement is valid and enforceable.
As you might imagine, having a separate attorney in addition to your divorce mediator is going to add to your legal bills. The less expensive alternative is to find a divorce mediator who is also an experienced divorce attorney, familiar with the latest developments in divorce law and practice. This kind of mediator will be able to advise you as to the legal ramifications of any agreements reached during your mediation at the mediation, and not in a separate session with an outside divorce attorney.
To learn more about Divorce Mediation on Long Island and how it can save you time, money and stress, visit this page: How Divorce Mediation Works and its Benefits for Families in Nassau, Suffolk, Long Island. If you would like to learn more about Divorce Mediation on Long Island, call the divorce law firm of Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. at 631-923-1910 or fill out the short form on this page for a complimentary divorce mediation consultation. The compassionate divorce lawyers at the firm are skilled at all methods of divorce resolution, including litigation, mediation and collaborative divorce.
For more information, visit our Comprehensive Guide to Long Island Divorce Mediation.
Divorce Mediation May Be a Better Solution for Your Long Island Divorce
Your Long Island Divorce is a difficult, emotional task, regardless of the current status of your relationship with your soon to be ex-spouse. Before you make any decisions concerning how you want to handle the process of the divorce itself, the topic of divorce mediation may be of interest to you.
Divorce Mediation is a Less Costly, Less Stressful Method of Divorce
As you likely know, the typical way to handle a divorce is for both you and your partner to hire your own independent divorce attorneys and utilize the Nassau County or Suffolk County court system. As you are also likely aware, handling a divorce this way can become a grueling, emotionally draining experience. The divorce can weigh even more on your emotions if the two of you have children, or even beloved pets, together. Did you know it doesn’t have to be this way? If you find yourself in such a situation, divorce mediation may be of interest to you as an inexpensive, less stressful, lest time-consuming, yet no less thorough and legally binding alternative method of achieving your divorce.
Take Control. Don’t Let the Courts Decide Your Fate
If you find yourself facing an impending divorce, do not hesitate to inquire about divorce mediation before settling on Litigating through the Nassau or Suffolk County court systems. Divorce mediation allows you and your soon to be ex-spouse to control the divorce process. You will be free to discuss the divorce on your own accord without the fear of the court imposing what it thinks is best for you and your family.
In divorce mediation, your mediator will be a neutral third party who will monitor and guide the process, not impose his or her will on your divorce. Divorce mediators do not make decisions for you like a court judge may do, but will follow your lead in how you want your divorce to be settled. Generally, the mediator will meet with both you and your partner together to determine both of your wants and needs. In some cases, or at certain times in the process, the mediator may also meet with your and your soon to be ex-partner individually.
Your Wants & Needs Will Be Heard
Because divorce mediation requires you and your partner to vocalize your wants and needs, you need to make sure that you are both comfortable discussing the divorce. While divorce mediation is by no means a form of therapy, it does require that you and your partner express your desires aloud to each other and the mediator. There may be times during the negotiation process where you and your partner do not agree, but you both must be willing to compromise with and understand each other. In many cases, these issues include matters such as child custody, the value of your home, or who gets the living room furniture. While you should enter divorce mediation with a set of goals in mind, it is important to be aware that you have to be open-minded.
Mediators Neutralize Power Imbalances
Your divorce mediator will be there to assist in settling power imbalances if it seems that either you or your partner are controlling the discussions. This is a completely different setting than if you were to each hire divorce attorneys and take the traditional court system route, where you would express your wants in private to the divorce attorney who would then fight for what he or she felt would best achieve those goals. If you and your soon to be ex-spouse are not willing to negotiate on issues of disagreement to find a happy medium divorce mediation may not be the best solution for you.
Divorce Mediation Results in Legally Binding Divorce Agreement
Again, the court system has little to no involvement in the process of divorce mediation. Therefore, you may be wondering what happens if you and your partner decide upon divorce mediation, negotiate and sign an agreement, but then your partner fails to follow through on his or her promises. In order for you and your partner to be legally divorced, a judgment of divorce must be entered into the court system. So while the courts play no role in the actual negotiation of the agreement during divorce mediation, you will still file the judgment of divorce within the court. Attached to that judgment would be your mediation agreement which will be on file with the court system. If you find that your ex-spouse has failed to uphold his or her portion of the divorce mediation agreement, the court has the power to enforce it, just the same as it has the power to enforce a traditional divorce agreement reached through the court system itself.
To learn more about Divorce Mediation on Long Island and how it can save you time, money and stress, visit this page: How Divorce Mediation Works and its Benefits for Families in Nassau, Suffolk, Long Island. If you would like to learn more about Divorce Mediation on Long Island, call the divorce law firm of Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. at 631-923-1910 or fill out the short form on this page for a complimentary divorce mediation consultation. The compassionate divorce lawyers at the firm are skilled at all methods of divorce resolution, including litigation, mediation and collaborative divorce.
Finding yourself faced with an impending divorce? If so, you and your soon to be ex-spouse likely have many questions. One of those questions may be whether divorce mediation is the right choice for you? Or better yet, what is divorce mediation?
Divorce mediation is a voluntary process and method of achieving a legally binding divorce, most often in less time, with less expense and with less stress than a typical litigated divorce. In divorce mediation, you and your soon to be ex-spouse will meet with your divorce mediator, either with or without attorneys, but either way without involving the court system, in order to come to a mutual agreement about the practical terms of the divorce.
While divorce mediation is a better divorce solution for most Long Island couples, it is not for everyone and you and your partner must understand what’s involved before making any decision.
Should We Consider Divorce Mediation?
Because divorce mediation involves you and your partner coming to a mutual agreement on your own terms, it is essential that you both are either already in accord with your wants or believe you will be able to reach a mutual agreement. It is essential that you and your partner can communicate with each other in order to come to agreement on the practical matters that need to be resolved to end your marriage. This does not mean that you have to be in complete agreement before you enter mediation, but you both need to be willing to listen to your partner and make reasonable compromises that are in the best interest of you and your family.
While not necessary, it can be helpful if both you and your spouse have been involved in handling the finances throughout the marriage. If you are both aware of your current financial situation and obligations, there is less chance of surprises or unexpected results.
If you and your soon to be ex-spouse have feelings of resentment or animosity toward one another, divorce mediation may be a more difficult experience. However, it is not crucial that you and your soon to be ex-spouse are on the same page regarding all issues surrounding the divorce before deciding on divorce mediation rather than hiring divorce attorneys and litigating your divorce in court. When going through a divorce, it is almost inevitable that there will be disagreements along the way; so long as these are minor or things that are capable of resolution with time, divorce mediation is something you should consider.
What are the Benefits of Divorce Mediation?
Cost: Two Attorneys = Twice the Fees. Perhaps the most important issues for Long Island couples going through a divorce is the financial aspect of the divorce itself. This is one of the major benefits of divorce mediation: it is usually much less costly than divorce litigation. If taking the typical route of litigating your divorce in the Nassau County or Suffolk County court system, both you and your partner would need to hire, and therefore pay for, for your own divorce attorney, which may have the potential to cost tens of thousands of dollars. Divorce mediation on the other hand, is likely to cost a fraction of the price.
Time: Months Versus Years. With coordinating attorneys’ schedules, motions, responses to motions, scheduling court dates, etc., not to mention the adversarial nature of divorce litigation, litigating your divorce often take years to resolve and conclude. Because you and your spouse work together with your divorce mediator to resolve your divorce through mediation, you are in control of how long it takes. Your mediator works to keep the sessions non-adversarial and productive to conclude your divorce as quickly as possible. With divorce mediation, your divorce can be finalized after a few sessions with the mediator if you and your partner are able to easily agree on the terms.
Confidential: Better for You and Your Children. Another significant benefit of divorce mediation, especially if you and your partner have children, is the fact that any divorce judgment reached by mediation is confidential. If your divorce is litigated in court, it becomes public record, and therefore, all information that was discussed during the divorce also becomes public record – including your finances, assets, income, any fault asserted, and all other personal issues that may have been discussed. If you do have children, it is likely you are friendly with other parents in the neighborhood, therefore, it may be beneficial to you and your partner to keep such information private and allow the divorce to remain a personal, not public, matter.
Non-Confrontational: Low-Stress. Divorce mediation itself is a friendlier and non-confrontational process as opposed to the much more adversarial nature of a litigated divorce through the court system. If you and your partner have the type of relationship that allows for you to consider divorce mediation initially, it is likely that neither of you wish to drag the other through the painful stages of litigation. By choosing divorce mediation, you and your soon to be ex-spouse only need to sit down in a room and discuss both of your wants and needs, there is no need for a divorce attorney to fight for more for either of you. Through divorce mediation, you are more likely to minimize any feelings of hostility toward one another and come away with an agreement you can both live with going forward.
Do We Still Need to Hire Divorce Attorneys?
There are a number of different types of divorce mediators who can help you; some are divorce attorneys and others are not. If you choose to use a divorce mediator or divorce mediation service that is not a licensed, practicing divorce attorney, you might want to have a divorce attorney look over your final divorce agreement to be sure you are each protected under New York State law. Only a divorce attorney practicing in the Nassau County and Suffolk County courts is likely to be thoroughly familiar with the latest developments in the law and have the experience to know the best way to protect you in your final divorce agreement.
To learn more about Divorce Mediators on Long Island and how they can save you time, money and stress, visit this page: Divorce Mediator Long Island | Nassau County & Suffolk County. The Long Island divorce mediators at Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. are practicing divorce attorneys in Nassau County and Suffolk County, NY. While we recommend divorce mediation for our clients for whom this is the best solution, we litigate divorce regularly and are therefore familiar with the ins-and-outs of the court system and the latest developments in divorce law. Give us a call at 631-923-1910 for a free consultation. We’ll discuss the specifics of your case and let you know if you and your spouse are good candidates for divorce mediation or another method of divorce resolution or an alternative resolution method.
Divorce Mediation on Long Island is often a more successful, less stressful and less expensive way to divorce in Nassau and Suffolk County, especially if you have children.
A divorce is scary, difficult, and stressful, and if there are children involved that only amplifies an already complicated situation. Thankfully however, the Nassau County and Suffolk County court system is not the only medium you and your spouse have to resolve your divorce. Rather than turning to the courts, a divorce mediator can help you to achieve an amicable resolution to your divorce agreement and save you time, money and stress in the process. If you and your spouse can work together to resolve the major issues involved in separating your lives a divorce mediator can assist you in avoiding not only the obvious financial burdens and time constraints of a divorce through the court system, but it will also help you and your spouse to avoid the potential emotional burdens that can come to the surface while dragging your relationship through court.
Divorce mediation allows you and your spouse to sit down with a neutral third party, express your wants and needs, and eventually permits the two of you to come to a mutual agreement regarding your future, and the future of your child or children. While you are not required to obtain a divorce attorney before commencing divorce mediation, doing so has many benefits that can assist you and your spouse in eventually reaching an agreement. If your mediator is also a divorce attorney, he or she can help you formulate and review your final agreement and prepare the final divorce papers for you.
While divorce mediation may sound appealing to you, you must be sure that you and your spouse are able and willing to be honest and truthful with each other and you’re your mediator during the mediation. If you and your spouse are going through a turbulent divorce and are unable to get along due to negative feelings such as anger, resentment, and heartbreak, divorce mediation may not be the proper choice for you. In that case, you should look into retaining a divorce attorney and obtaining your divorce through litigation in the Nassau County or Suffolk County court system.
On the other hand, if you and your spouse both want the divorce and can amicably resolve the material differences you need to move on with your lives, considering divorce mediation should be at the top of your priority list before turning to the courts, especially if you have children together.
If you take the traditional, litigated, route for divorce, children all too often become victims of the divorce process. They often are subject to witnessing the constant battle their parents have with each other over such issues as child support, custody, visitation and who gets to spend weekends or holidays with the children. This eventually ends with one parent having custody over the children and the other getting only visitation rights. At times, children also may feel as though they have to pick sides in the battle, making decisions like picking with which parent they want to spend their birthday or holidays. Such seemingly simple decisions can put a great emotional strain on a child. While you may not realize it, this can have detrimental effects on your children, and you should try your best to avoid putting your child in such situations. Unfortunately, divorce litigation tends to amplify these issues and pull the child into them, rather than minimize them and keep the child out of them.
In divorce mediation, there is no such thing as Child Custody or Visitation Rights, rather, you and your spouse have the opportunity to sit down and amicably discuss what is best for your children, custom tailoring your parenting plan to the specific needs of your family. You get to decide what’s best for your child or children rather than putting it in the hands of the Suffolk County or Nassau County Courts. On occasion, couples in divorce mediation agree not to have a formal agreement. In such cases, rather, you and your spouse may agree to take each week as it comes depending on your schedules and the schedules of the children. In these instances, the child may spend four days with you and three days with your spouse one week, and spend the entire next week with your spouse if you wind up having to work late or go out of town for whatever reason. This also allows a child to not feel as though he or she has to pick which parent he or she wants to spend time with because you and your spouse are splitting time evenly according to your schedules. This is contrary to a traditional court ordered visitation agreement, where you or your spouse may have the children one week but yet also have other commitments during that same time period and therefore miss out on precious time together.
Whether or not you have children together, you and your spouse may find that divorce mediation is a more attractive alternative for you and your spouse. Divorce mediation puts you in control and allows you to make the right decisions for you and your family, while saving time, money and stress on you, your spouse, and your children. You and your spouse can avoid the inevitable hard feelings that come from arguing during the litigation process and agree to allow the two of you to have time with the children when you are able to spend quality time together, and not just time the court directs you to spend.
To learn more about Divorce Mediation on Long Island and how it can save you time, money and stress, visit this page: How Divorce Mediation Works and its Benefits for Families in Nassau, Suffolk, Long Island. The Long Island divorce mediators at Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., PC are caring, successful divorce attorneys, experienced in all methods of divorce in Nassau and Suffolk. From Divorce Mediation to Collaborative Divorce to Divorce Litigation, we will represent you to best meet the unique circumstances of your divorce. Call us at 631-923-1910 for a Free Consultation to discuss the specifics of your case and we will help guide you to the appropriate resolution method for you and your family.
While Divorce Mediation may be considered an effective tool in assisting parties to amicably and expeditiously divorce in Nassau and Suffolk County on Long Island, NY, it may not be the best Alternative Dispute Resolution method for every couple seeking a divorce.
Divorce Mediator Must Recognize & Mitigate Power Imbalances
Throughout the divorce mediation process, it is the divorce mediator’s role to identify any power imbalances that exist between the parties and mitigate such disparities. Divorce mediators must also be able to identify situations where the divorce mediation should be discontinued or where engaging in divorce mediation would be unsuitable for the parties involved altogether.
No Fault Divorce Floods Courts, Causes Delays
With the introduction of No-Fault divorce legislation across the country in the 1970s, divorce rates began to soar and the dissolution of marriage became increasingly accepted as a societal norm. In return, courts became flooded with divorce filings and parties to the divorce began to experience significant delays with respect to the full adjudication of their divorce proceedings.
Dissatisfaction with Litigation Increases Popularity of Divorce Mediation
As a direct response to the overall dissatisfaction with the adversarial approach to divorce, divorcing couples began to opt for divorce mediation as an alternative to litigating their claims in court. While divorce mediation has proven to be a cost-effective and expedient alternative to litigation, the process has flaws of its own. Specifically, divorce mediation does not account for the likelihood that one spouse will inherently be more vulnerable than the other during the negotiation process when it comes to addressing certain issues.
Divorce Mediation Assumes Equal Power Between Spouses
Given the nature of divorce mediation as a practice, the bargaining power between the parties is assumed to be equal. Should the situation arise where one party possesses more power than the other, the divorce mediator may employ certain informal sanctions to maintain a balance of power during the negotiation process so the divorce mediation remains productive.
Methods of Maintaining Power in Divorce Mediation
An example of one method a divorce mediator may use to do so is to interrupt a party if he or she feels that the party is engaging in discourse that is counter-productive to reaching the goals of the divorce mediation. The divorce mediator will then re-focus the conversation to more pertinent and appropriate topics of conversation. By doing so, the divorce mediator essentially steers the parties away from assigning blame to one another and re-establishes the primary goal of divorce mediation: to resolve the divorce-related issues in an amicable fashion. In addition to this type of methodology to maintain a balance of power during divorce mediation, a divorce mediator may encourage the parties to put themselves in the position of the other party and view the issues from the other spouse’s point of view.
Balancing Power Can Compromise Neutrality of Divorce Mediator
However, when a divorce mediator takes action to interrupt negotiations, he or she is often protecting the weaker party by trying to balance the power between the two, and will lose one of the most important characteristics of the mediator: neutrality. If the divorce mediator’s actions result in unequal representation of either party, the divorce mediator’s actions would violate the Model Code of Professional Responsibility and the ABA Standards of Practice for Lawyer Mediations in Family Disputes. Therefore, when power balancing issues arise, the divorce mediator has a tough job; he or she must consider the interests of the parties, the best way to mediate the dispute, and the professional standards he or she must follow while doing so.
When there is a disparity of power, one party has the ability to unfairly influence the other. This ability can arise from several factors, including:
Regardless of the source of the power disparity in divorce mediation, the mediator must proceed carefully when trying to correct the imbalance. He or she may have many strategic options, including avoiding certain issues, interrupting parties, etc. However, if the divorce mediator’s intervention rises to the level of representing one party at the expense of the other, the divorce mediator violates the professional standards to which he or she must adhere. Therefore, mediation may not be appropriate in resolving every divorce dispute.
To learn more about Divorce Mediators on Long Island and how they can save you time, money and stress, visit this page: Divorce Mediator Long Island | Nassau County & Suffolk County. If you have questions about the viability of Divorce Mediation in your Long Island divorce case, please contact us for a free complimentary consultation. The law firm of Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. is committed to the growth of divorce mediation and collaborative divorce as cost effective alternatives to the time-consuming and costly litigation ordinarily required to resolve divorce and other family related matters. We believe that families, and most importantly, children, benefit when parents resolve their issues through less adversarial processes such as divorce mediation and collaborative divorce. Call us at 631-923-1910 or fill out the short form on this page for a free, complimentary consultation where we can discuss the specifics of your case to determine if divorce mediation is right for your unique circumstances.
As a Long Island, NY Divorce Attorney, I understand that divorce is usually an emotionally difficult time for the family. The process of the court system, the division of the marital property, and deciding the fate of the children, are all extremely stressful and upsetting for everyone involved.
You should know, however, that there is an alternative to resolving these issues that has major benefits to you in the divorce process: Divorce Mediation.
While a typical litigated divorce can take months or years to resolve, Divorce Mediation usually takes about 6-12 hours to complete. For this reason alone, Divorce Mediation is much less expensive and more affordable than a typical litigated divorce. Some litigated divorces can cost up to $100,000 for each party, while with divorce mediation; you can pay a small percentage of that and have the process complete before the day is over. Additionally, by achieving mutual agreements with issues such as child custody and alimony or spousal support, the two parties can save thousands of dollars.
The objective of Divorce Mediation is to help you and your spouse develop a plan that both of you are comfortable with, instead of having the court decide what the arrangements for your divorce should be. The goal of divorce mediation is to produce a final divorce agreement that can outline the future structure of the lives and relationship of you, your spouse and your children. It also helps you achieve a true closure of the marriage. Ending your marriage with acceptance through an agreement as opposed to an adversarial feeling can be better on the emotions of everyone involved, especially your children.
Another significant benefit of divorce mediation is its complete confidentiality. If you bring the divorce to Nassau or Suffolk County Court, there are permanent public records of your case. Utilizing divorce mediation allows for confidentiality behind closed doors and doesn’t allow the public to know the details of your divorce.
To learn more about Divorce Mediation on Long Island and how it can save you time, money and stress, visit this page: How Divorce Mediation Works and its Benefits for Families in Nassau, Suffolk, Long Island. The Divorce and Family Law Firm of Robert E. Hornberger, P.C. helps dozens of Long Islanders like you resolve their divorces through divorce mediation, and make your transition to your new life as smooth as possible. Contact our office today for a free consultation at 631-923-1910 to learn more about if Divorce Mediation is the right solution for you and your family.
