Divorce is hard on both men and women, however, men tend to face some unique problems that they’re often not prepared for following the dissolution of their marriage. Here are 6 issues that men face when getting a Long Island divorce and how to avoid them.
Are you a father on Long Island considering getting a divorce or splitting up with the mother of your children? Protecting your father’s rights from the start is absolutely crucial to ensuring you continue to have access to a meaningful relationship with your kids. Here are 6 ways to do it.
If you are married to the other parent of your child and are deciding to get a divorce, they may ask you to leave the marital home. Do not do this absent of a court document ordering you to do so. As uncomfortable as it may be to continue sharing a home with your ex, if you move out, you set a precedent that your ex is primarily caring for the children. Judges tend to err on the side of the status quo to avoid disrupting the child’s life as much as possible when the final divorce decree is issued. If you remain in the home, you can argue that you are equally providing as much care to your children as your spouse and make a stronger case for 50/50 custody.
As much as it may sting to be cooperative and cordial to a person who may be trying to cut you off from your children, reacting angrily or seeking revenge will simply paint you in an even worse light to the judge presiding over your child custody case. In situations like these, it’s more important than ever that you bite your tongue or nod and smile when it seems like conflict may be arising. Courts tend to look more favorably on parents who wish to support their child’s right to have a relationship with both parents, and being polite and cooperative will go a long way toward illustrating your character in court.
If your ex has accused you of domestic violence or child abuse, it’s important to understand that the police are not on your side. In fact, they are actively working against you to collect evidence that will persuade a judge to minimize or eliminate your rights as a father to the children. Do not answer police questions, even if they seem to be compassionate toward you or say that admitting what “really happened” will make things easier on you.
Once you realize you’re splitting up with the parent of your children, you should start keeping copies or making notes of everything said or communicated between you and your ex. If your ex accuses you of domestic violence later on, but you have a text showing that they threatened they would falsely report you if you didn’t comply with some other request, this can be used to illustrate to the court that the other parent may be exaggerating their case or using child custody proceedings as a manipulation tool.
One of the biggest mistakes that men make when separating from the parent of their children is neglecting to hire a family law attorney at the start of the case or even at all. However, an experienced Long Island child custody attorney can help you better understand your rights and the best course of action depending on the unique factors of your case. You may even want to consult an attorney before you announce to your partner that you’re interested in splitting.
If you are unmarried to the mother of your child, the first thing you should do is to file a motion requesting a paternity test, even if you are listed on the child’s birth certificate. A paternity test is required to be awarded custody or visitation of your child if you aren’t married to the child’s other parent, and you can file for custody and visitation as soon as the results establish that you are the child’s biological father. If you are married, you do not need a paternity test to file a petition for custody.
At Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C., we know how tough it is for fathers out there to exercise their rights with regard to custody and visitation with their child, especially if the child’s other parent isn’t agreeable or is even going out of their way to make the case more difficult. Call today to learn about your rights as a Long Island father and discuss your next step at 631-923-1910.
Schedule your complimentary consultation and case evaluation with our experienced attorneys today. When you call, you’ll speak to our friendly Client Services Director, who will be able to answer your general questions and set up your appointment with an attorney who specializes in your unique case.
At your meeting, your attorney will describe the many options available and determine together which is the right solution for you. By the end of this meeting we’ll all understand how we can best help you to move forward.
There is no cost or obligation for this initial consultation. It is simply an opportunity for us to get to know each other, answer your questions and learn if Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. is right the right law firm for you. Give us a call at 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form below to schedule your free consultation and case evaluation.
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Divorce is difficult for all involved no matter which way you look at it. Divorcing men, in particular, often have a distinct lack of resources and support compared to women who are getting divorced. This lack of support, when combined with inexperienced legal counsel, can lead to easily avoidable mistakes that set a precedent for the continued loss of rights throughout the divorce. Here are several common mistakes men make during their Long Island divorce and how you can avoid them.
One of the first major mistakes men make when beginning the divorce process is moving out of the marital home. If you’ve moved out of your home already and have been living away from it for some time, a judge is less likely to award you the home or force the sale so you get an equal share. Judges are keen to keep the status quo, even if the status quo has been you living outside of your own home.
You should not live away from your children unless a court order demands it for the same reason that you shouldn’t leave the marital home. If your children have been living with your spouse since you split, it’s far more likely that the judge will award your spouse primary child custody to avoid disrupting the status quo that has already been established. It’s much harder to get that time with your kids back than it is to maintain your stance as an equal custodian.
Divorce is wrought with intense emotions, ranging from sadness to apathy to intense anger. You may be tempted to retaliate against your ex-spouse in a number of ways. This could be as simple as making it difficult for your spouse to get their belongings or something more serious, like destroying their property. Don’t give in to this temptation; your ex can use anything you do to paint you in a negative light, increasing their chances of an outcome in their favor instead of yours.
Many men drag their feet during a divorce or refuse to negotiate on things like alimony, spousal or child support simply for the sake of making sure their ex-spouse gets as little as possible. However, this comes at a higher cost. Family court judges see this all the time and can spot this tactic a mile away and are less likely to look upon you favorably if you appear stubborn or contrary on purpose.
Legally, you must provide full financial disclosure in your Long Island divorce. If you attempt to hide assets and are caught, you could be held in contempt of court and face criminal charges. You may think that concealing a few assets so your ex-spouse can’t get them is no big deal, but you stand to lose much more if you don’t fully disclose your finances from the start.
Your ex may suggest that you use a single lawyer for the entire divorce to save money and make the divorce process faster. However, this is a terrible idea. You need your own lawyer who is solely focused on your best interests to ensure your divorce stays as fair for you as possible.
Finally, one of the most damaging mistakes you can make as a divorcing man on Long Island is failing to hire a family law attorney early enough in the divorce process. If you wait to hire a divorce lawyer until you’re nearly ready for court, you’ll have received no guidance on what to do to protect your rights in the meantime. Consulting with an experienced family law attorney as soon as you learn divorce is on the table ensures that you have the advocacy you need.
At Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C., we understand how challenging it is for men to successfully dissolve their marriage while keeping their rights intact. We’re dedicated to helping Long Island residents navigate the rough waters of divorce while protecting the best interests of our clients and their children. Contact us today for a consultation to learn about the legal options you may have available to you. Call now at 631-923-1910.
Schedule your complimentary consultation and case evaluation with our experienced attorneys today. When you call, you’ll speak to our friendly Client Services Director, who will be able to answer your general questions and set up your appointment with an attorney who specializes in your unique case.
At your meeting, your attorney will describe the many options available and determine together which is the right solution for you. By the end of this meeting we’ll all understand how we can best help you to move forward.
There is no cost or obligation for this initial consultation. It is simply an opportunity for us to get to know each other, answer your questions and learn if Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. is right the right law firm for you. Give us a call at 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form below to schedule your free consultation and case evaluation.
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Becoming a father is one of the most rewarding, fulfilling adventures for a man. Building a family can transform life in ways you never knew and shape you into an entirely new person. But what happens when the fairytale dissolves and you find yourself splitting ways with the mother of your children? How can you protect yourself — and your kids — during such a difficult time? Here’s what you fathers need to know about divorcing on Long Island and how to get help advocating for you and your family.
Men involved in a divorce face many of the same issues that women do, however, family law views men and women — and mothers and fathers — differently when dissolving a marriage. Although most states, including New York, have made significant progress in leveling the playing field between men and women during a divorce, many gaps still exist. Understanding the divorce process is critical to the success of your case. Working with an experienced legal team can help you navigate issues like property division, spousal support, the cost of divorce, child custody, support and visitation, and more. If divorce is on the horizon for you and you’re wondering what to do now, keep reading. (more…)
When most people consider child custody on Long Island, they think about married couples getting a divorce and determining how parenting time is divided between the two. However, divorcing couples are not the only people who have to deal with matters of child custody. These issues also affect unmarried parents, and traditionally, most people also think unmarried fathers automatically have fewer parental rights than unmarried mothers do. However, as New York law progresses and the State has realized that a child mentally and emotionally benefits greatly from equal time spent with each parent, unmarried fathers are gaining ground. (more…)
As an experienced Long Island Family Law Attorney I have seen how Father’s rights have become a prominent social issue on Long Island. It is a well-known and often quoted fact that children typically benefit from a relationship with their biological fathers; however, many fathers do not become involved in children’s lives for one reason or another. It may be the case that you were not aware that you fathered a child, but later learned that you may have. In cases like this, it is important to consider the importance of the role and whether you wish to pursue the establishment of paternity.
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Fathers rights and roles have changed on Long Island and this impacts child custody and visitation responsibilities. As a Long Island family law attorney, I see that many Long Island fathers face difficulty when attempting to maintain meaningful relationships with their children once a divorce or separation occurs. (more…)
As a family law attorney practicing on Long Island, protecting biological fathers rights in the complicated adoption process is often part of my job. When a parent is unable to care for the needs of his or her child and considers adoption as an alternative to parenting, or when a natural and custodial parent wishes for his or her new spouse to adopt the child and become a legal parent, New York adoption laws come into play. (more…)
As a Divorce Attorney on Long Island, I meet many fathers who experience anxiety and worry over whether they will be able to maintain meaningful relationships with their children once a divorce or separation occurs. (more…)
As a Long Island Divorce Attorney, I represent a number of men who, when first coming to my office, believe that they are going to get the proverbial “short end of the stick” in their divorce. I tell them that the law is neutral, and that what they believe is simply not the case. Here are some tips for men to help them through the process.
Most men seem to feel that divorce is similar to a lawsuit. The truth is, the men who approach the situation like a business negotiation are typically the ones who achieve the best results. No one ever “wins” a divorce and going in with this mentality ultimately hurts you in the long run. Your divorce should be about making sure both sides receive a fair outcome. To Nassau and Suffolk County Courts, marriage is nothing more than a contract, and divorce is the dissolution of that contract, therefore, you must treat the process as such.
Close any joint bank accounts and credit cards you may have with your partner. If there is a significant income disparity between you and your wife, with hers being less than yours, there are ways to lessen the gap. For example, if your wife doesn’t work, get an evaluation of the wife’s potential workforce value. Another way to protect your financial interests is to hire a CPA to take advantage of any tax deductions during the divorce. Insisting that a part of your child support payments go to the child’s college savings account is another good idea.
Trying to handle your divorce pro se typically leads to disastrous results for men. Even divorce attorneys don’t handle their own divorce. There is a good reason for the old saying, “the lawyer who represents himself has an idiot for a client”. Divorce is an emotional legal case and even attorneys who know the ropes can’t be objective in their own case. You may be a genius, but you don’t stand a chance against your wife’s objective attorney if you try to represent yourself. The benefits of having a lawyer work through your divorce are monumental compared to doing it alone. Lawyers have done many divorces before, they’ve seen almost everything and your divorce is not the first of its kind for whoever you hire. They also likely know the other attorney, the judge, the Nassau County of Suffolk County Court officers, clerks and everyone else who will be involved in your case. Make sure you get an experienced attorney you can trust who will look out for your best interests.
Check out our Divorce Guide for Dads for more information about divorce issues specifically related to fathers.
The Divorce and Family Law Firm of Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. is experienced at protecting the financial and insurance needs of Long Islanders like you. If you have any questions regarding these issues, we will be delighted to assist you. Give us a call at 631-923-1910 to schedule a free complimentary consultation to discuss your needs and options.
Get your complimentary consultation and case evaluation with our experienced attorneys today.
Your attorney will describe the many options available and determine together which is the right solution for you. By the end of this conversation, we’ll all understand how we can best help you to move forward.
There is no cost or obligation for this initial consultation. It is simply an opportunity for us to get to know each other, answer your questions and learn if Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C. is right the right law firm for you. Give us a call at 631-923-1910 or fill in the short form below for your free consultation and case evaluation.
All Fields Are Required
