As a parent going through a divorce in New York, all eyes tend to be on you. Your soon-to-be-ex, the judge, the guardian ad litem, and other key parties will all be paying close attention to how you interact with your children. They’ll be looking for signs of child abuse or domestic violence, and will be evaluating the impact of your home environment on your children’s wellbeing.

Here are some simple guidelines on how to interact with your children during a divorce to ensure you get the best outcome and how to get experienced legal help during this difficult chapter in your life.

Keeping your cool during your divorce can be very challenging, but it is one of the most important things you can do to prevent unwanted escalation and negative consequences. This is particularly true if you and your ex-spouse aren’t able to get along or have difficulty communicating with each other. That said, it’s absolutely necessary to give it your best effort.

Here are several things to consider and what you need to do to get experienced family legal help you can trust.

Divorcing your spouse is often a long, emotional, complex process that saps you of time, energy, and money. Despite most divorces being emotionally tumultuous, you aren’t afforded much reprieve; there is little to no grace for you if you make a mistake.

Here’s why you should behave as if someone is watching your every move during your Long Island divorce and what you can do to protect your legal rights and best interests from a spouse who may attempt to make you look like someone you’re not.

Divorce can be a difficult thing to prepare for because in many cases, it’s the last thing you expect. You got married to your spouse with the intention of the relationship lasting “till death do you part”, and knowing that you will no longer have this future can be disheartening. Here are some ways you can prepare yourself — and your family — for a Long Island divorce case.

12 Tips to Make Your Divorce Sensible, Straightforward, and Successful

Learn How to Take Control of Your Upcoming Divorce

Your upcoming divorce on Long Island may be something you’ve known about for some time, or it may be something that seemingly blindsided you out of nowhere. Either way, it’s important that you take steps now to understand the best legal approach to increase the chances that you will not be taken advantage of in the final divorce decree.

Here are our top 12 smart divorce strategies that will arm you with the knowledge needed to take action to protect the rights and best interests of you and your family.

Business ownership is one of the more challenging issues in a divorce, as are child custody, visitation, and child support issues. If you and your spouse own a business and are in the process of dissolving your marriage on Long Island, read on to learn what you need to know.

Why You Might Not Want a Divorce (but think you do)

If your marriage is on the rocks, you may be thinking about what options you have to move forward with your life without your partner. Divorce can be complex in New York and sometimes, it’s not the right choice even for couples who want to dissolve their marriage. Here’s what you should know about divorce alternatives on Long Island and how to decide which route holds the best potential resolution for your circumstances.

As 2020 comes to a close, you may be experiencing marital strife and considering divorce. It’s been a more difficult year than most for all of us, and many couples are facing the possibility of ending their marriages in the new year. Should you get divorced in 2021? Here are some questions to ask yourself.

Are You Really Ready For a Divorce?

Before you file for a divorce — or even announce to your partner that you’re considering it — think about whether or not it’s something you really want and are ready for. There’s no right answer here; you may be completely ready or you may want to wait a little longer to see what happens. No matter what you choose to do, make sure you’ve taken the time to sit with your own feelings about the situation without influence from other people or ideas. Don’t look at what you think you should be ready for and instead, honor the place you are in now, regardless of where that is.

Emotions tend to run rampant during a divorce, often making it difficult for you to measure your words. However, what you say to your ex can have a significant impact on your divorce case. Here are several things you should never say to your ex, no matter how angry you are, and why you should talk to an experienced divorce lawyer and family law attorney to learn how saying the wrong thing can hurt your divorce case.

Legal separation is an option that many couples use to “try on” a divorce before signing on the dotted line. It keeps you married on paper, but for all intents and purposes, you’re considered separated from your spouse. If you’re thinking about getting a legal separation, here are 5 things you should avoid, as well as one thing you can’t.

#1. Don’t Move Out of Your House

Living with your spouse while legally separated can be extremely difficult, but if you move out of your home, you set a precedent that will most likely work against you later on if you get divorced. Judges prefer to keep the status quo that has already been established, especially if children are involved. If you live outside of your home and away from your children, it will be much harder to gain that back after the fact. A judge is more likely to award child custody and the marital home to your spouse if they have been living in it and caring for the children for a majority of the time since the separation.

#2. Separate Your Finances

When you legally separate from your spouse, one of the first things you should do is separate your finances. Each of you should open a bank account in your own name and close any joint checking or savings accounts you share together. Decide ahead of time who will pay which bill and if possible, have the name on the accounts changed to reflect the new responsible party. This protects you financially in the event that you do pursue a divorce in the future — your spouse cannot take money from your own personal account nor can they keep you on the hook for bills that are now in their name.

#3. Don’t Discuss Your Separation on Social Media

Publicizing your legal separation, especially on social media, isn’t a great idea. Not only does it potentially give your spouse’s lawyers ammunition against you if you later get divorced, but it also opens you up to a great deal of unwanted advice and criticism. Many people will have an opinion about your marriage and won’t be afraid to tell you about it, regardless of whether that opinion is hurtful or constructive. Others will offer advice without having a good understanding of the situation at hand. It’s best to keep your separation quiet if possible, simply to avoid hassle and liability.

#4. Skip the Dating for Now

Separating from your spouse — legally or otherwise — is an emotionally challenging process. It can be tempting to consider entering the dating pool, even for a casual relationship. The human need for attention and validation from a partner is strong and when you cease getting that from your spouse, it’s normal to start thinking about where else you can find emotional support, love, and connectedness. That said, dating while you’re legally separated can be a big mess. You’re much better off taking this time to reflect on why things aren’t working with your spouse and if you’re ready for a divorce.

#5. Take the Initiative to Get Divorced If It’s Not Working

A legal separation isn’t intended to be a permanent solution, but rather, a trial separation that ends once you either decide to repair the relationship with your spouse or ultimately get divorced. Avoid dragging things out longer than necessary. If it’s clear that the separation is something you’re both benefiting from and you know now that you don’t want to be married, go ahead and take that step forward to formally dissolve your marriage both physically and legally. Allowing it to be over when it’s over can help you turn the page to the next chapter of your life.

Separating from Your Spouse on Long Island? You Need an Experienced Divorce Attorney

If you’re considering your separation options, it’s in your best interest to work with an experienced Long Island divorce attorney right out of the gate. Although legal separation tends to be simpler than divorce, there are still many ways you can be negatively impacted if you’re not on guard protecting your rights. At Hornberger Verbitsky, P.C., we can help. Call today for your initial consultation at 631-923-1910.

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At your meeting, your attorney will describe the many options available and determine together which is the right solution for you. By the end of this meeting we’ll all understand how we can best help you to move forward.

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